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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 1965

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I went home for lunch and pulled in the trash can and recycle bin.  Wife hears me and comes out and tells me to leave them outside the gate because the service she hired to clean them is coming today.  She hired a company to clean the inside of our trash cans.  To clean the inside of trash cans.  Trash cans.

I admit that every now and then if some putrid shit leaks inside of them they can stink, but they are outside and that situation is rare.  I dared not ask how much they charged for this "service."

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Macanudo

Macanudo 12980

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11 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

I went home for lunch and pulled in the trash can and recycle bin.  Wife hears me and comes out and tells me to leave them outside the gate because the service she hired to clean them is coming today.  She hired a company to clean the inside of our trash cans.  To clean the inside of trash cans.  Trash cans.

I admit that every now and then if some putrid shit leaks inside of them they can stink, but they are outside and that situation is rare.  I dared not ask how much they charged for this "service."

Willing to bet that the "service" cleans her. 

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bluto

bluto 4931

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That trash can cleaning....  that shit is real, my brother and all his neighbors use it. They live in a puckered HOA so cans must be kept in the garage. 

My brother specifically, doesn't cook, doesn't have babies/diapers, and only a small dog... still trying to figure out wtf he does that could even soil the can. 

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4976

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4 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

I went home for lunch and pulled in the trash can and recycle bin.  Wife hears me and comes out and tells me to leave them outside the gate because the service she hired to clean them is coming today.  She hired a company to clean the inside of our trash cans.  To clean the inside of trash cans.  Trash cans.

I admit that every now and then if some putrid shit leaks inside of them they can stink, but they are outside and that situation is rare.  I dared not ask how much they charged for this "service."

Are you sure they weren't dumpsters?

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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2 hours ago, ERhine said:

 


It’s probably cheaper to just buy a new trash can.

 

Sounds like its a city trash can, ones molded to be picked up by the truck and dumped into the truck without anyone doing the lifting. 

 

that said, Ive never heard of this trash can cleaning business, but the inside of my trash can is pretty disgusting. not that I care.

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

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5 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Do y'all ever wonder if somewhere in some other corner of the internet, there's some all-female social network app where there's a thread called "Husbands and the Selfish Inconsiderate Shit They Do?"

Haven't you ever noticed a woman talking on a phone while she was supposed to be driving a car?  She don't need no stinking internet.

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Brew

Brew 3049

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I still still haven’t made it past the earlier Ojo story. His wife leaves for an hour and a half to go grocery shopping while he fucks off at the pool with the kids and drinks beer. That sounds like a solid win in my book.

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troph

troph 24810

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Ojo’s wife needs to step it up, wow. I mean I’m all for mutual respect and admiration and fuck the patriarchy bullshit blah blah blah but that crap — working long days, holiday weekend comes down to one day and your committed spouse says hey I want some easy going high quality family time and you fuck it up? Not cool. Super unthoughtful and kinda shitty. She needs one of her gfs to set her straight.

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You don't know me

You don't know me 1161

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11 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Sounds like its a city trash can, ones molded to be picked up by the truck and dumped into the truck without anyone doing the lifting. 

 

that said, Ive never heard of this trash can cleaning business, but the inside of my trash can is pretty disgusting. not that I care.

Never thought of it, but I may need to get my teenage boys set up to clean trash cans.  There may be a little money in it for them.  Of course, they would grumble about it.

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fattyflattie

fattyflattie 4639

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Friend of mine bought a truck for cleaning trash cans. Was like 140k. He had people in Katy set up at $10/month and he’d come by and run it on the truck and it would basically pressure wash it. He didn’t make much until he got in with one of the trash companies and was doing them for $2/ea or so iirc.  He ended up selling it all at even/slight profit, so this does exist. 

I clean mine once every quarter or so with a deck brush and simple geeen. I also wash all my recyclables out and whatnot so can doesn’t smell like beer or get sticky.  

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T’Boo Ted Marshall

T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732

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Wife normally makes what I call turkey soup, which is her version of “chili” with turkey. Barely above the school cafeteria food edible line, but I don’t have to cook it so I don’t complain.
I made brisket chili on Tuesday. Started it that morning and the aroma was glorious at dinner time. She then put ketchup in her bowl citing the need to make it sweeter like her turkey soup.

Papers are being drawn up by my lawyer.

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chikin23

chikin23 384

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I went home for lunch and pulled in the trash can and recycle bin.  Wife hears me and comes out and tells me to leave them outside the gate because the service she hired to clean them is coming today.  She hired a company to clean the inside of our trash cans.  To clean the inside of trash cans.  Trash cans.
I admit that every now and then if some putrid shit leaks inside of them they can stink, but they are outside and that situation is rare.  I dared not ask how much they charged for this "service."
Got a guy down the street with a rig parked in front of his house. Charges 30 bucks for a cleaning or you can sign up for 12 months at 10 bucks each.
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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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Posted (edited)

I didn’t realize what I’ve been missing by avoiding this thread. I’m glad I made it here, because this is some of the funniest shit ever. I liken it to reality tv: “wow my life isn’t that bad”.

That said, my gf, who has stated numerous times she wants to get married and have kids, has seen a number of the stories y’all kind folk present that she’s guilty of, in an effort to curtail any detractors prior to being married. I think this tactic just may work. She has hot cousins, so I told her I’m going to have to ask one of them over for a threesome if she keeps up her “hey babe, I talked to my family and want them over this weekend, is that okay.” She laughed and said, “you’re right that’s not okay, but that story is hilarious.”

Not gonna change shit.

Edited by I Plead Da Fif
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54246

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46 minutes ago, I Plead Da Fif said:

That said, my gf, who has stated numerous times she wants to get married and have kids, has seen a number of the stories y’all kind folk present that she’s guilty of, in an effort to curtail any detractors prior to being married. I think this tactic just may work.

bml.gif

 

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tbone_

tbone_ 14128

Posted
Posted
Wife normally makes what I call turkey soup, which is her version of “chili” with turkey. Barely above the school cafeteria food edible line, but I don’t have to cook it so I don’t complain.
I made brisket chili on Tuesday. Started it that morning and the aroma was glorious at dinner time. She then put ketchup in her bowl citing the need to make it sweeter like her turkey soup.

Papers are being drawn up by my lawyer.

How about that brisket chili recipe?
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52-80

52-80 19162

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Posted

You know the stupid undecisive thing women do with choosing what to eat  ..... mine does this with music in the car.

 

"Can you turn on the radio ....  Can you change the station ....  Can you pick another album ... This music is so weird ... Why are we listening to it ..." 

"Okay, how about I switch to your phone's bluetooth and you play what you want" 

"...."

"Why don't you take this USB stick and just load all your music for the next time we take a trip"

"...."

 

 

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52-80

52-80 19162

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Oh, exact same thing with deciding on the movies at home.  We've got a library of 1000+ titles.  

"okay, we've got this for comedy, this for drama, this for action, these 3 ive been meaning to watch, etc...which do you want"

"i dont know, why dont you just pick"

"how about you pick this time"

"no"

5 minutes in .... "this movie is sooo bad why do you always choose bad ones"

 

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tbone_

tbone_ 14128

Posted
Posted
You know the stupid undecisive thing women do with choosing what to eat  ..... mine does this with music in the car.
 
"Can you turn on the radio ....  Can you change the station ....  Can you pick another album ... This music is so weird ... Why are we listening to it ..." 
"Okay, how about I switch to your phone's bluetooth and you play what you want" 
"...."
"Why don't you take this USB stick and just load all your music for the next time we take a trip"
"...."
 
 

Driver picks. Simple.
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