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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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nnm

nnm 36332

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said:

she got to walk around excited for a few days and now gets to walk around shameful and apologetic after I sent her some articles and videos of these. 
damn straight with the picking me comment. She puts up with me and being an avatar on this site. I got lucky. 
have all of my rep for the asspen recs. Forgot about that one. 

The most important information that you’ve dropped in this thread is that your avatar is a pic of your wife. You kind of buried the lead. 

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McCroskey
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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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RockyMountainHighHorn

RockyMountainHighHorn 890

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38 minutes ago, nnm said:

The most important information that you’ve dropped in this thread is that your avatar is a pic of your wife. You kind of buried the lead. 

Ahhh my mistake. She did the same thing-pictures on bumble showed no hints of having a big ass. Was coming off of dating a porn “star” so had low expectations...needless to say, I was quite a bit surprised. Been together ever since. All-American love story

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Scooter Monzingo

Scooter Monzingo 820

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11 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

My dad loves the freebies from the timeshare scammers. I think he gives them so much shit they are begging him to leave before it’s done. This is also a man whose main hobby is fucking with telemarketers. 

Yeah, I’m like your old man (wait, I am an old man?). I have golfed at some wonderful tracks over the years simply by listening to a sales pitch. In fact like your father I can sit there and talk shit for as long as they will have me. Most of the time I too would piss them off, and I wouldn’t get the overnight stuff. But I always got a round of golf.

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Modessit

Modessit 5598

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Posted
Ok so the story might not be funny but anyone that has done this I’m sure will find joy. Also, I am looking for advice from people that have done this but my pride gets in the way of starting a whole embarrassing thread. 
 
anyway, while at a kings hockey game last week, my fiancé spun a wheel and magically “won” a free 3 day trip to various US locations. She was so happy and pumped, it was great to see. We walk over to the lady running this event to get the scoop. She goes on to ask us all of these questions-age, relation, combined income, estimated savings, etc. we magically matched all of the criteria because she then burst out and said “wow you really did win!!!......” she went on to explain that all we have to do is to attend a 90 seminar on all of their luxury vacation homes. Attend the seminar-leave with a free vacation. My fiancé was beaming. I have a good 20 signals through all of this that we need to just leave-nods, pokes, saying we are busy every day for the next year, we are busy! She didn’t bite. I don’t know why I knew this but I remembered as a kid seeing my parents come home from one of these at each other necks and looking like they came back from battle. Remember the following days all of our neighbors talk about how much bullshit these companies are filled with, yadda yadda yadda. Now the lady says it will cost 50$ to save our seat at the seminar. As she pulled the card out I literally grabbed it and put it in my pocket and said no we are busy. The lady then turned to me and said what’s the big deal. After fishing in my pocket for the card, my fiancé paid the fee, signed the docs and walked away the happiest person on earth. She just won a free damn trip. I was pissed that all of my signs of “abort! Abort!” Were ignored. “I took your card and said let’s not do this.”
“oh I thought that meant you were going to pay” 
“what about all of the times I said I was busy or shook my head?”
”babe we won a free trip, be excited! It’s only 90 minutes.” Thank god there was a hockey game to enjoy. 
 
called my mom the next day to make sure I wasn’t being crazy and that this was going to be a train wreck....being a room full of the most over the top used car salesman tactics that would drive me insane. We are millennials, we don’t save for a vacation home. My mom responded, “you are going to overdose on Xanax after 30 minutes. Don’t go.”  
Anyone gone to one of these?
One of my nieces "won a trip for 4 to NY a few years ago and had to do this. Went and sat thru all of the BS until it was over and then said no. Took her sisters with her to NY for 3 days.
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Texaus

Texaus 377

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I do the time share thing whenever possible and have never said yes to the scam. It is actually pretty sad seeing all the poors getting beat down and signing just to gtfo. I’ve gotten golf, universal tickets, free weeklong stays, Breck lift tickets, and lots of other free shit. Just did the universal studios ticket one last year and received tickets for all parks, for seven days, family of 4. that was worth several thousand dollars, all for about 2 hours and a free lunch. I actually enjoy explaining to the dumbasses how retarded the idea of buying it would be.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40815

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21 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Wife got sold some “free show tickets and dinner for two” in Vegas for one hour of our time during lunch.  I said “we’re not going to this bullassshit, it’s a time share scam”.  
 

we went for 8 minutes and they started badgering us, like I knew they would, and we left the tour out of a side door.   Dude was chasing us saying we couldn’t just leave.  I told him to fuck off, because how the fuck are you gonna keep me here.  

Please don’t tell us you stopped at that scam counter at the old entrance to Bally’s.

 

51 minutes ago, Modessit said:
23 hours ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said:

 

One of my nieces "won a trip for 4 to NY a few years ago and had to do this. Went and sat thru all of the BS until it was over and then said no. Took her sisters with her to NY for 3 days.

That was a “prize”?

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40815

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12 minutes ago, Texaus said:

I do the time share thing whenever possible and have never said yes to the scam. It is actually pretty sad seeing all the poors getting beat down and signing just to gtfo. I’ve gotten golf, universal tickets, free weeklong stays, Breck lift tickets, and lots of other free shit. Just did the universal studios ticket one last year and received tickets for all parks, for seven days, family of 4. that was worth several thousand dollars, all for about 2 hours and a free lunch. I actually enjoy explaining to the dumbasses how retarded the idea of buying it would be.

McCombs business major?

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54203

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 3/6/2020 at 12:39 PM, HenryJames said:

Whenever I walk around the house, I just take mental notes of where my wife has left her purse, keys, laptop, our daughter, etc.

I do too.  Sometimes I yell out, "This is a really terrible place to leave your keys!" like I'm Frank Costanza.

Edited by Beau Vine
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rage-a-holic

rage-a-holic 4371

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Posted
 
6 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Made the mistake of asking how the planning for one of her friend's birthday party went...12 minutes I'll never get back 

TL:DL: not well 

 

5 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Is her friend 6?

 

Women and their fucking endless birthday parties. Just another reason they shouldn't be allowed to vote.

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markstanco

markstanco 12570

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*dewinterizing the wake boat today*

Installing new batteries in the boat, wife calls and says" whatcha doing? I say the above while in a small space connecting wires

Csn you let the dog out to go to the bathroom? So I climb down from the boat, let them out immediately and on my way back on to the boat she drives up. Literally like 90 seconds from climbing down, letting them out, and back on the boat.

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miguelito

miguelito 11250

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Made the mistake of asking how the planning for one of her friend's birthday party went...12 minutes I'll never get back 

TL:DL: not well 

 

Only 12 minutes?  Either she doesn't like the friend, or she's not done telling you about it.

But it's both.

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davidg

davidg 4036

Posted
Posted
*dewinterizing the wake boat today*

Installing new batteries in the boat, wife calls and says" whatcha doing? I say the above while in a small space connecting wires

Csn you let the dog out to go to the bathroom? So I climb down from the boat, let them out immediately and on my way back on to the boat she drives up. Literally like 90 seconds from climbing down, letting them out, and back on the boat.



That’s on you for answering the phone in the middle of doing something like that. Them phone have voicemail ya know.
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Mo Horn

Mo Horn 8817

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One of Mrs MO's favorite shows is Flea Market Flip. I have no idea why, because she has no interest in crafts or refinishing things. I think she's seen every episode at least 3 or 4 times, and yet she will spend hours watching them again. The funniest part is she'll scream at the contestants that they are buying too high, or selling too low, or something is ugly. It takes all the wisdom of my almost 37 years of marriage to not ask her if she thinks they'll listen to her this time. One of these times I'm gonna forget and just blurt it out, and tone will be the least of my worries. I almost did tonight so came to Surly to post instead. 

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After irth

After irth 1243

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, markstanco said:

*dewinterizing the wake boat today*

Installing new batteries in the boat, wife calls and says" whatcha doing? I say the above while in a small space connecting wires

Csn you let the dog out to go to the bathroom? So I climb down from the boat, let them out immediately and on my way back on to the boat she drives up. Literally like 90 seconds from climbing down, letting them out, and back on the boat.

What the hell is a “wake boat?”

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Spartan52

Spartan52 151

Posted
Posted

Late to the party on the Timeshare presentation thing...

Wife signed us up for one of these and I cracked it and said I wasn't going, anyway I'm sitting in the presentation and the presenter asked who was here just for the free $1000 accom. voucher ?

I put my hand up and said 'I am can I just have it now as I'm not signing up for anything.'

Wife was horrified and I just looked at her and said in front of the whole group " I didn't even want to come to this thing'

They gave us the voucher and got us out of there because I think they were worried I was going to corrupt the whole group, I then told my wife to Never, Never sign us up for one of these things again.

and to this day she hasn't.

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BearCountry11

BearCountry11 1234

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From earlier this evening...

 

My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the location with his wife so i gave it the old college try and went out there to look for it (he’s older and we weren’t confident he would have any success).
 

I asked my wife to start calling it when I was close to the gps location in the unlikely event it still worked.  Luckily, it did.  Was able to find it from the ringer noise and answered the phone when I picked it up.  

Me (on my FIL’s phone):  Hey

My wife:  Hey.  Any luck?

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JimmyRussels

JimmyRussels 14

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3 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

From earlier this evening...

 

My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the location with his wife so i gave it the old college try and went out there to look for it (he’s older and we weren’t confident he would have any success).
 

I asked my wife to start calling it when I was close to the gps location in the unlikely event it still worked.  Luckily, it did.  Was able to find it from the ringer noise and answered the phone when I picked it up.  

Me (on my FIL’s phone):  Hey

My wife:  Hey.  Any luck?

Gold

 

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RamjetFDO

RamjetFDO 10575

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10 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

From earlier this evening...

 

My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the location with his wife so i gave it the old college try and went out there to look for it (he’s older and we weren’t confident he would have any success).
 

I asked my wife to start calling it when I was close to the gps location in the unlikely event it still worked.  Luckily, it did.  Was able to find it from the ringer noise and answered the phone when I picked it up.  

Me (on my FIL’s phone):  Hey

My wife:  Hey.  Any luck?

Pretty sure I told this on this thread/the old site, but fits this theme:

Mrs. Ramjet (for the 7th time that day): I've lost my phone, and I can't find it.  Help me?

Ramjet: No.

Mrs. R: (tone)

Ramjet: Just call the number and find the noise.

Mrs. R: (picks up different phone and dials her number)

Mrs. R's phone: RING!

Mrs. R: (finds her phone while still holding phone she just dialed from)  Hey!  I missed a call!

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15343

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, RamjetFDO said:

Pretty sure I told this on this thread/the old site, but fits this theme:

Mrs. Ramjet (for the 7th time that day): I've lost my phone, and I can't find it.  Help me?

Ramjet: No.

Mrs. R: (tone)

Ramjet: Just call the number and find the noise.

Mrs. R: (picks up different phone and dials her number)

Mrs. R's phone: RING!

Mrs. R: (finds her phone while still holding phone she just dialed from)  Hey!  I missed a call!

My wife would have said “hey, did you try and call me?” 
 

 

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