Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[Sam Lin 3559]

That was fantastic, thank you.

[52-80 19159]

i mentioned a few times the contradiction of my wife being obstinately clean, but messy.

 

similar thing applies to the fridge. 

for me anything that doesnt look bad or smell bad or feel bad, is edible.

for her, if its 1 day before the date of expiration, its bad.  if chicken has been at home for 2 days, its bad. leftover from 1 night?  its bad.

 

nobody is allowed to eat it.

 

but she wont throw the motherfucker away!!! 

Edited March 20, 2020 by 52-80

[tbone_ 14126]

AG - outstanding.

[Angry Gorilla 1768]

So the moonshines today?

I told myself I wasn’t touching that shit. But being quarantined does weird things to the mind.

[Hefeweizen 5324]

15 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Serving #9: Infused with actual peanuts



You know that face a baby makes when you give it a lemon? That’s what I’m doing with each drink. I’m craving the inevitable blackout, but not only does this bottle taste like asshole, it’s only fucking 60 proof. Maybe I should start mixing it with real whiskey. Or bleach.

This is how Chlorantine is done.  You are magnificent.

[nnm 36416]

@Angry Gorilla, we’re gonna need a recap of your discussion with your wife this morning. We wouldn’t have had that epic thread if she hadn’t bought it in the first place. 

[hullabelew 3724]

2 hours ago, PantsTent said:

Brilliant!  I love how the bottle level kept going down with each picture.  Things got weird at the protein shake.  Banana luge was creative.  I was crying by the time the shot glass full of peanuts hit.  Well done...

That is what was killing me.  

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I told myself I wasn’t touching that shit. But being quarantined does weird things to the mind.

[NAVY 6740]

Next up? 

Linky

[Scheiss Meister 8408]

The only way to top off AG's moonshine research is to find out that it makes him impervious to bullets, skunk smell, and the covid.

[CycleTex87 2970]

AG's Live performance art almost on level with:

 

[deadshank 24653]

1 hour ago, NAVY said:

Next up? 

Linky

Bottled chum

[DDD Dad 14339]

13 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Bottled chum

 

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

We should make a separate thread where we all mail gorilla random liquor and he drinks it and records the experience. 

[ChiTownDoc 21154]

Holy shit that was legendary.  Sad I missed it live.  Wow

 

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

I'm also tempted to try this peanut butter whiskey just for the lulz.  Not sure id get an entire handle though

[tbone_ 14126]

I mean I like peanuts. And I like whiskey.

[markstanco 12577]

I was going to post something petty but AG rules this week.

[General Specific 3262]

Bottled chum

This looks like a case where if it smells like fish, oh what a dish does not apply!

Who comes up with this shit? Next thing you know, someone will sell their vaginal sent as perfume!

[Lidig8r 1873]

6 hours ago, General Specific said:

This looks like a case where if it smells like fish, oh what a dish does not apply!

Who comes up with this shit? Next thing you know, someone will sell their vaginal sent as perfume!

You mean ... like HER?   In the 2011 movie, "Contagion," Gwyneth Paltrow played the role of "Patient Zero." She spread a deadly worldwide virus in part, because she had sex with a lover, infecting him with the deadly virus. Millions died.

Fast forward to January 2020. Gwyneth Paltrow announces a candle that smells like ... her delicate lady parts. The next thing we know... coronavirus appears... and spreads like wildfire becoming a deadly, worldwide virus!

Coincidence? I think not. Obviously Gwyneth Paltrow's delicate lady parts are the cause of Covid-19!

LIFE IMITATING ART !!!!

[TrashMaster G 17557]

6 hours ago, General Specific said:

This looks like a case where if it smells like fish, oh what a dish does not apply!

Who comes up with this shit? Next thing you know, someone will sell their vaginal sent as perfume!

Sent?

[General Specific 3262]

Sent?

Yeah, I blame the whiskey! One more than I should have had apparently.

I throw myself at the feet of Surly and beg for forgiveness.

[Angry Gorilla 1768]

We should make a separate thread where we all mail gorilla random liquor and he drinks it and records the experience. 

[markstanco 12577]

We should make a separate thread where we all mail gorilla random liquor and he drinks it and records the experience. 

Holy shit this idea!! I have to go to the lika sto today. If I see something goofy I may buy it and pm AG for his address.

[ChiTownDoc 21154]

Gonna go unload reps.  This was top 5 all time.  NowThis,  statues...just legendary stuff

[Hate 20108]

Yeah, I blame the whiskey! One more than I should have had apparently.

I throw myself at the feet of Surly and beg for forgiveness.

Hell hath no fury like Surly’s scorn for grammatical mistakes.

[Beau Vine 54230]

Wife decided that the next panic run we're going to have is on gas, so she went and filled both of our cars up.  I live a mile from my work and the last two months, I have driven once a week because of night class, so I have literally been driving 2 miles a week.  And now my car has 16+ gallons of gas in it, and at 30 MPG, that gas should last me about 6 months, which I'm sure is going to be really good for the engine.

[Trey3216 15346]

55 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Wife decided that the next panic run we're going to have is on gas, so she went and filled both of our cars up.  I live a mile from my work and the last two months, I have driven once a week because of night class, so I have literally been driving 2 miles a week.  And now my car has 16+ gallons of gas in it, and at 30 MPG, that gas should last me about 6 months, which I'm sure is going to be really good for the engine.

I bought a pump syphon for days like this.  PM me your address 

[Pato del Muerto 52501]

1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

Wife decided that the next panic run we're going to have is on gas, so she went and filled both of our cars up.  I live a mile from my work and the last two months, I have driven once a week because of night class, so I have literally been driving 2 miles a week.  And now my car has 16+ gallons of gas in it, and at 30 MPG, that gas should last me about 6 months, which I'm sure is going to be really good for the engine.

You might want to buy some gas stabilizer. 
 

did you bother asking her why gas would go away when nobody is driving right now, or choose to keep the peace?

Edited March 21, 2020 by Pato del Muerto

[Beau Vine 54230]

5 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

You might want to buy some gas stabilizer. 
 

did you bother asking her why gas would go away when nobody is driving right now, or choose to keep the peace?

What do you think?

[Pato del Muerto 52501]

27 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

What do you think?

I think discretion is the better part of valor in most cases, especially if you are stuck in a foxhole together for a while. 

[TrashMaster G 17557]

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

You might want to buy some gas stabilizer. 
 

did you bother asking her why gas would go away when nobody is driving right now, or choose to keep the peace?

Because: shortages.  Duh.

[Angry Gorilla 1768]

3 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Because: shortages.  Duh.

 

[NorthLoop 14208]

Wildcard bitches!

[Sam Lin 3559]

With modern gas and the fuel system in modern cars, 6mo is no issue at all, don't bother with stabilizer.

[markstanco 12577]

With modern gas and the fuel system in modern cars, 6mo is no issue at all, don't bother with stabilizer.

Retro gas without corn in it would be better.

However, 2 miles a week driving is amazing, seems like uber would be hella cheaper.

[General Specific 3262]

Retro gas without corn in it would be better.

However, 2 miles a week driving is amazing, seems like uber would be hella cheaper.

...seems like;
Biking,
Golf cart,
Skateboard,
Walking,
Falling out bed and into the office would be hella cheaper!

[Beau Vine 54230]

11 hours ago, markstanco said:

Retro gas without corn in it would be better.

However, 2 miles a week driving is amazing, seems like uber would be hella cheaper.

Part of me wants to sell it, but it's old and not in great shape, and I hate my wife's car.

[luke duke 6413]

Part of me wants to sell it, but it's old and not in great shape

 

Are you still talking about your wife? If so,@missinginaction may be interested.

[markstanco 12577]

I am pleased to announce the wife just got back from the store with another bottle of laundry detergent. 

[MissingInAction 25082]

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

 

Are you still talking about your wife? If so,@missinginaction may be interested.

Wood.

[Buzzrock 14921]

Apparently countering any dumb coronavirus behavior with “And which medical school did you go to again?” is “obnoxious” and “unhelpful”.

[TrashMaster G 17557]

1 hour ago, Buzzrock said:

Apparently countering any dumb coronavirus behavior with “And which medical school did you go to again?” is “obnoxious” and “unhelpful”.

She's not wrong.

But it's still funny.

[markstanco 12577]

Proof I am not making shit up:

 

 

On edit the white bottle is bleach. Not sure of the new guy on the right or what he does, says liquid oxyclean, but we already have a 5 pound tub of powder so this totally makes sense.

[Johnny Chimpo 478]

6 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Proof I am not making shit up:

#blessed

[Modessit 5603]

Proof I am not making shit up:
 

 
On edit the white bottle is bleach. Not sure of the new guy on the right or what he does, says liquid oxyclean, but we already have a 5 pound tub of powder so this totally makes sense.

That's your own damn fault. We told you to leave it alone. You created a vacuum and it got filled.

[markstanco 12577]

.

[Ten Bears 2481]

On 3/21/2020 at 2:20 PM, Beau Vine said:

Wife decided that the next panic run we're going to have is on gas, so she went and filled both of our cars up.  I live a mile from my work and the last two months, I have driven once a week because of night class, so I have literally been driving 2 miles a week.  And now my car has 16+ gallons of gas in it, and at 30 MPG, that gas should last me about 6 months, which I'm sure is going to be really good for the engine.

Uh, that is about the worst thing you can do to your engine.  It needs to get up to running temp for a while else the moisture condensation that is in your crankcase will not evaporate and over time your engine will build up sludge that will fuck it up.  Same with the moisture in your exhaust system.  If it doesn't get up to full temp on the reg it will be prone to rust.

I learned this the hard way when I lived1 mile from the office.

[Reagan1k 3024]

20 hours ago, Ten Bears said:

Uh, that is about the worst thing you can do to your engine.  It needs to get up to running temp for a while else the moisture condensation that is in your crankcase will not evaporate and over time your engine will build up sludge that will fuck it up.  Same with the moisture in your exhaust system.  If it doesn't get up to full temp on the reg it will be prone to rust.

I learned this the hard way when I lived1 mile from the office.

Sounds like a perfect excuse to go park the drive at idle and listen to a podcast or some music and have an hour a day of alone time  preventative vehicle maintenance.

[nnm 36416]

22 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

Sounds like a perfect excuse to go park the drive at idle and listen to a podcast or some music and have an hour a day of alone time  preventative vehicle maintenance.

My next door neighbor does this almost every evening. He sits in his truck, smokes his cigar, has his cocktail, and listens to podcasts or watches YouTube for an hour or more. Waves to all who pass, chats with those that stop to chat. Super nice guy. I asked him why he doesn’t do it on his back patio. He said it’s more comfortable in his truck, and he can control the climate there.