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Posted
 
As someone with a wife from a 3rd world country, Eddie Murphy was right. With Facebook and social media they will talk to other women from their country that have foreign husbands that let them get and do everything they want and then they will start asking for the same.  Not to mention American women getting hold of them if you live in the USA. There is no safe wife pool.
 
 


Friend with a mail order Russian bride would agree. She owns his ass.
Posted
12 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Don’t those fully cooked bacon packages have like 6 strips in them, separated with a plastic insert that spaces them out?  If so that’s a lot of freezer space for a half pound of bacon. 

They have some at Sam's that come in a big plastic bag and don't need to be refrigerated until opened.

Posted
2 hours ago, Hate said:


Wait, Junior Miller lives in Illinois??

Lived. Past tense. 
 

*Tinfoil hat* - they just want you to believe they didn’t have the virus and weren’t going to die from it. This is how China keeps the numbers down. /tinfoil hat

Posted
12 hours ago, Jhawkmvp said:

They have been linked to reduced sperm/hormone levels, cancer, heart problems, and stomach ulcers and a host of less long term illnesses/problems. 

Whelp, that sounds better than marriage. 

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Posted

Mrs. A: Hey dear I am late. I am on day 58. 

A: Yeah, look its probably just stress.  I had a vasectomy and am shooting blanks.

Mrs. A: I wish I could just go to Walgreens and buy a test.

A: This is dumb, but if you must buy one off amazon.

Mrs. A: It's gonna take a week to deliver, i can't go that long under the circumstances without wine.

A: Well, I do have the second jizz kit from Dr. Shah. If you are willing to help things out we can go do that. 

 

So the test was negative, but I a got a beej and a little helping hand. She tried but could not cancel the order for a pregnancy test through amazon.  All in all, I count this one as a win under the circumstances. 

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Posted
3 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Precooked and “microwave ready” bacon is an abomination. Especially since you can microwave regular bacon anyway in a pinch.

This is true.  My kids love it, but I call it "cardboard bacon".  It's shit.

Posted
Precooked and “microwave ready” bacon is an abomination. Especially since you can microwave regular bacon anyway in a pinch.
Yea this. I eat bacon 3ish times a year and have had the precooked once. More salt than the ocean.

Give me a skillet and 7 minutes to cook it until black where it is crunchy like potato chips.
  • Like 4
Posted
3 hours ago, Anastasis said:

So the test was negative, but I a got a beej and a little helping hand. She tried but could not cancel the order for a pregnancy test through amazon.  All in all, I count this one as a win under the circumstances. 

9 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

unless........she really is pregnant 

Any resemblance to me is purely coincidental.

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Posted
7 hours ago, markstanco said:

Yea this. I eat bacon 3ish times a year and have had the precooked once. More salt than the ocean.

Give me a skillet and 7 minutes to cook it until black where it is crunchy like potato chips.

Black, crunchy bacon?  

You ridiculous dude. 

  • Like 4
Posted
Yea this. I eat bacon 3ish times a year and have had the precooked once. More salt than the ocean.

Give me a skillet and 7 minutes to cook it until black where it is crunchy like potato chips.


I have so many questions.
  • Like 3
Posted
Mrs. A: Hey dear I am late. I am on day 58. 
A: Yeah, look its probably just stress.  I had a vasectomy and am shooting blanks.
Mrs. A: I wish I could just go to Walgreens and buy a test.
A: This is dumb, but if you must buy one off amazon.
Mrs. A: It's gonna take a week to deliver, i can't go that long under the circumstances without wine.
A: Well, I do have the second jizz kit from Dr. Shah. If you are willing to help things out we can go do that. 
 
So the test was negative, but I a got a beej and a little helping hand. She tried but could not cancel the order for a pregnancy test through amazon.  All in all, I count this one as a win under the circumstances. 


Best believe I would have gloved and masked up and gone to Walgreens. They can probably hand you a test at the drive through.
  • Like 1
Posted
35 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Nothing better IMO. When it is cooked "normally" I don't like the texture. Feels raw. I always find the most cooked pieces.

Philistine.   I'd hate to see what you'd do to a ribeye. 

  • Like 3
Posted
9 hours ago, markstanco said:

Yea this. I eat bacon 3ish times a year and have had the precooked once. More salt than the ocean.

Give me a skillet and 7 minutes to cook it until black where it is crunchy like potato chips.

My man.

  • Like 1
Posted
34 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

The upside of precooked bacon is you can just eat it straigh out of the fridge. Like a cold cut, but bacon.

Pato del Muerto does that with regular bacon. 

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Posted
Yea this. I eat bacon 3ish times a year and have had the precooked once. More salt than the ocean.

Give me a skillet and 7 minutes to cook it until black where it is crunchy like potato chips.


Black and hard - just like you like your men.
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Posted
12 hours ago, Anastasis said:

Mrs. A: Hey dear I am late. I am on day 58. 

A: Yeah, look its probably just stress.  I had a vasectomy and am shooting blanks.

Mrs. A: I wish I could just go to Walgreens and buy a test.

A: This is dumb, but if you must buy one off amazon.

Mrs. A: It's gonna take a week to deliver, i can't go that long under the circumstances without wine.

A: Well, I do have the second jizz kit from Dr. Shah. If you are willing to help things out we can go do that. 

 

So the test was negative, but I a got a beej and a little helping hand. She tried but could not cancel the order for a pregnancy test through amazon.  All in all, I count this one as a win under the circumstances. 

There’s another thread for people who will suck dick for wine

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Posted
2 hours ago, ramirezut said:

Whose wife popped their hood instead of their trunk at grocery store pick up section this morning?

Was she driving the Porsche? Common mistake if so.

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Posted

Has point A in a home ever been cleaned/organized/decluttered by a wife without cluttering up point B? Has this process ever made it to point E without much of the original stuff from point A not back at point A?

Asking for a friend.

  • Like 2
Posted

I was wrong. It’s:

100lb bleached white flour

100lb stone ground wheat flour

100lb some other wheat flour 

100lb brown rice

100lb granulated white sugar

Maybe I’m supposed to open up a confectionary or bakery. 
 

and I’m a thousand miles from the nearest HEB, or more. 

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Posted

I've been doing gig grocery delivery and gotdamn I can't understand how women live on their phone but can't answer a text in a timely manner. All these wives want input on every little thing if what they ordered is out of stock but can't bother answering even though they just texted me something 2 seconds ago.

 

 

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