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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted (edited)
12 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Yeah. The California impact in Austin has moved the needle and at this point outside of SEC states Subarus are not just for the lesbians anymore. Hell, my mom has one, and I'm pretty sure she isn't a lesbian. 

(Insert BE's mom joke here. I earned and I'll take it, like a man.)

We put the 16 year old in a Forester for the safety features. I was so impressed with it I traded my Yukon Denali XL in on an Ascent.  We do live in the snow belt.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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Js1

Js1 85311

Posted
Posted
42 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Yeah. The California impact in Austin has moved the needle and at this point outside of SEC states Subarus are not just for the lesbians anymore. Hell, my mom has one, and I'm pretty sure she isn't a lesbian. 

(Insert BE's mom joke here. I earned and I'll take it, like a man.)

Your mom also takes it like a man. Wait what 

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VolenteHawk

VolenteHawk 495

Posted
Posted

I'm sure variations of this have happened in the last month for a bunch of you, but Saturday night the Chiefs/Texans playoff game was re-airing and was on the living room TV.  I was in and out with shit on the grill, not paying much attention but wife and son were watching.  I walk by with the Chiefs down 24-0 with the ball.

Me: We're gonna need Patrick Mahomes to be Superman here

Son: Yeah, need some points to get back in the game

Wife: Is this a replay?

 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54211

Posted
Posted
On 3/21/2020 at 2:20 PM, Beau Vine said:

Wife decided that the next panic run we're going to have is on gas, so she went and filled both of our cars up.  I live a mile from my work and the last two months, I have driven once a week because of night class, so I have literally been driving 2 miles a week.  And now my car has 16+ gallons of gas in it, and at 30 MPG, that gas should last me about 6 months, which I'm sure is going to be really good for the engine.

I asked my wife when that panic run on gas is going to get here, now that we have negative oil prices.

She told me I was an asshole.

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Flg8rfan

Flg8rfan 201

Posted
Posted

Wife called me from work and asked if I could run to the LGS to pick up some ammo for a co-worker and threw in the ‘but don’t buy anything else’ statement.

 

I laughed, she laughed, my new shotgun laughed.....

 

 

ETA, the co-worker gave her the $120 for it, guess who won’t see a dime of it......

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Js1

Js1 85311

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

Hang on man.. I'm leary of going cloak, seeming like an ATF fanboi or something and glad you got a new shotty out of the deal but ...

Why did she need you to pick up ammo for a friend??? I'm... Confused as fuck.

Her side piece is going to kill the husband, obviously. 

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Flg8rfan

Flg8rfan 201

Posted
Posted
Hang on man.. I'm leary of going cloak, seeming like an ATF fanboi or something and glad you got a new shotty out of the deal but ...
Why did she need you to pick up ammo for a friend??? I'm... Confused as fuck.

We live out in the sticks and the place here is the only one around that has 9mm Speer Gold Dot in stock. Just easier for me to drive 1 mile to get it while they are open and her take it into work for him than for him to drive 30 miles one way over the weekend to get it himself.

He has a carry permit, just like my wife and I, not worried about him being unable to legally purchase ammo.

I get what you’re sayin


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Armybrat

Armybrat 40832

Posted
Posted
On 4/20/2020 at 1:37 PM, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Mrs. NAAL (chuckling):  Look, I bought a bottle of artisan water.

NAAL: That says artesian, not artisan.

Mrs. NAAL: Artesian, artisan...to-may-to to-mah-to.

She may not know much about water, but she apparently knows what she likes.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40832

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Flg8rfan said:


We live out in the sticks and the place here is the only one around that has 9mm Speer Gold Dot in stock. Just easier for me to drive 1 mile to get it while they are open and her take it into work for him than for him to drive 30 miles one way over the weekend to get it himself.

He has a carry permit, just like my wife and I, not worried about him being unable to legally purchase ammo.

I get what you’re sayin


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Speer 9mm Gold Dots you say? And they’re in stock?

I’d like 10 boxes of 124 grain preferably, but the 147 will do. Cashier’s check is in the mail. :)

 

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3556

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Hang on man.. I'm leary of going cloak, seeming like an ATF fanboi or something and glad you got a new shotty out of the deal but ...

Why did she need you to pick up ammo for a friend??? I'm... Confused as fuck.

Is this odd? We have a fairly large group that regularly pools ammo orders to combine shipping or get quantity discounts. There's a lot of "friend of a friend" volume in our orders.

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4976

Posted
Posted

Text convo... 

Mrs NAAL: Are you messing with the lights?

Mrs NAAL: We don't have internet and I don't want them staying like that!!!!!

NAAL: How would I be messing with the lights if there is no internet?

Mrs NAAL: From work on your phone

NAAL: Yes, but there has to be internet at home for me to control them from my phone...

NAAL: What are they doing?

Mrs NAAL: Ok so the light just turned to yellow then off then to bright again? 

Mrs NAAL: By itself 

Mrs NAAL: Just got done cooking dinner

NAAL: Turn it off for 10 or 15 seconds and turn it back on.

NAAL: spacer.png

NAAL: They aren't connected to the internet, so I can't control them from the internet.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
On 4/17/2020 at 8:10 AM, Hate said:

This is a blessing in disguise.  You get to leave the house for at least a few hours.  Take a cooler with you.  Find a park to hang out with while maintaining proper social distancing and just sit back for a few hours.  Tell your wife there must have been a run on microwaves and that you had to go to at least 4 or 5 stores to find the one she wants.  Tell her that it was weird and frightening to be out in the real world with only a little mask to prevent you from catching your death, but you were willing to risk it so that she could re-heat leftovers.  Maybe you can turn this into some sexy time. 

Yeah, you went too far. It was a good thought though.

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