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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Yeah, I lucked on this one as well. My wife new virtually nothing about baseball when we met, As in, I remember explaining what a double play was on one of our dates. Then this weekend, Tocci (Rangers) was in the line up after being the DL, I was wondering why and she reminded me that he was a rule 5 draft so that couldn't send him down tot he minors. 

That's impressive.

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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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Posted
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agree with Cheeseweasel.

My wife still struggles with many of the nuances we take for granted, but she knows many of the players( heroes or heels.)  She wouldn't know Rule 5 from Plan B, Supplemental Draft, or Expansion picks.  That's damned impressive  Mrs. Jameslaw  caught that.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

That's impressive.

yeah, it's kinda crazy, last year she woke me up to tell me she found a couple of $20 tickets for the game Beltre wound up hitting 3,000 and we went. I had wanted to go but it was going to be a few days before our wedding and we had just moved so I figured there would be way to much shit going on so I didn't even bring it up

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Archer

Archer 474

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

yeah, it's kinda crazy, last year she woke me up to tell me she found a couple of $20 tickets for the game Beltre wound up hitting 3,000 and we went. I had wanted to go but it was going to be a few days before our wedding and we had just moved so I figured there would be way to much shit going on so I didn't even bring it up

I thought this was the stupid shit thread not cool wife thread. I need more Lulz. 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54012

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Yeah, I lucked on this one as well. My wife new virtually nothing about baseball when we met, As in, I remember explaining what a double play was on one of our dates. Then this weekend, Tocci (Rangers) was in the line up after being the DL, I was wondering why and she reminded me that he was a rule 5 draft so that couldn't send him down tot he minors. 

I took my wife to a Rangers game on our first date.  She knew Julio Franco's current batting average the night before.

Her knowledge and interest in baseball has gone to Julio Franco's current batting average.  (OK, # of hits for the math nerds.)

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I took my wife to a Rangers game on our first date.  She knew Julio Franco's current batting average the night before.

Her knowledge and interest in baseball has gone to Julio Franco's current batting average.  (OK, # of hits for the math nerds.)

her previous boyfriend told her what it was the night before.

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Austinvines

Austinvines 309

Posted
Posted

My wife was super pissed that the gift card her mom had given us two years ago to a new restaurant in town wasn’t valid anymore. She went online to check the balance and got back “card not valid” after putting in the information.

I looked at the card and didn’t see a web address to check balances and asked her how she checked it.

“I went to giftcardbalance.com.”

“What made you go to that website? I don’t see anything about it in the card itself.”

“Why wouldn’t they make one place you could go to check your balance?”

“Maybe they should but why do you think there is one website to check the gift card balance of every card in the world?”

Tone.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17395

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, Austinvines said:

My wife was super pissed that the gift card her mom had given us two years ago to a new restaurant in town wasn’t valid anymore. She went online to check the balance and got back “card not valid” after putting in the information.

I looked at the card and didn’t see a web address to check balances and asked her how she checked it.

“I went to giftcardbalance.com.”

“What made you go to that website? I don’t see anything about it in the card itself.”

“Why wouldn’t they make one place you could go to check your balance?”

“Maybe they should but why do you think there is one website to check the gift card balance of every card in the world?”

Tone.
 

Holy crap.  

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Sawbonz

Sawbonz 27445

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Austinvines said:

My wife was super pissed that the gift card her mom had given us two years ago to a new restaurant in town wasn’t valid anymore. She went online to check the balance and got back “card not valid” after putting in the information.

I looked at the card and didn’t see a web address to check balances and asked her how she checked it.

“I went to giftcardbalance.com.”

“What made you go to that website? I don’t see anything about it in the card itself.”

“Why wouldn’t they make one place you could go to check your balance?”

“Maybe they should but why do you think there is one website to check the gift card balance of every card in the world?”

Tone.
 

I’m off to see if “checkmybankbalance.com” is taken

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BearCountry11

BearCountry11 1234

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is a common occurrence in this thread...So I’ll be taking the blame for not seeing it coming.

Wife:  What do you think about (insert some new idea she has)

Me:  *Gives honest, logical feedback*

Wife:  You’re never on MY “team”.  You disagree with everything.  

*discussion ends - 15 minutes pass*

Wife:  Can you please just agree with me from time to time?

Me:  Sure

*1 hour passes*

Wife:  Why do you think all my ideas are bad?

 

For the record, my feedback was not aggressive, mean, or demeaning.  I simply did not give her the response she wanted.  And now she won’t drop it.  Rinse, wash, repeat.  I’m getting drunk now

Edited by BearCountry11
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Modessit

Modessit 5597

Posted
Posted
Probably an app she can install on her phone that allows her to find her lost phone.
I have an app on my phone that tells me where my phone is. I use it to find my wife's phone in case she loses it like she did last time we were in San Antonio. It also lets me zoom in on my house so I can tell her she left it in the kitchen (since it's on silent so we can't hear it.) I have no idea why the default option is to tell me where MY phone is since I have to be using my phone to use the app.
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ernest_t_bass

ernest_t_bass 1196

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

This is a common occurrence in this thread...So I’ll be taking the blame for not seeing it coming.

Wife:  What do you think about (insert some new idea she has)

Me:  *Gives honest, logical feedback*

Wife:  You’re never on MY “team”.  You disagree with everything.  

*discussion ends - 15 minutes pass*

Wife:  Can you please just agree with me from time to time?

Me:  Sure

*1 hour passes*

Wife:  Why do you think all my ideas are bad?

 

For the record, my feedback was not aggressive, mean, or demeaning.  I simply did not give her the response she wanted.  And now she won’t drop it.  Rinse, wash, repeat.  I’m getting drunk now

My similar conversation last night in this regard was about sports camps.  Track camp (topic of discussion) vs. VBall and Basketball Camps.  (Note: I'm a varsity basketball coach)

Me: I think a track camp would better serve kids if they were able to have it in the spring, so they could have direct application (high jump, pole vault, long jump) of what they learned.

Wife: Basketball isn't in season, and they have THOSE in the summer!

Me: Track is more of a "meet/season specific" type of sport.  Kids can't go in their driveway and practice high-jump.

Wife: OK, whatever.  You're just saying that b/c you get so defensive of basketball.

Me: --Removes knife from her neck--

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20890

Posted
Posted
This is a common occurrence in this thread...So I’ll be taking the blame for not seeing it coming.
Wife:  What do you think about (insert some new idea she has)
Me:  *Gives honest, logical feedback*
Wife:  You’re never on MY “team”.  You disagree with everything.  
*discussion ends - 15 minutes pass*
Wife:  Can you please just agree with me from time to time?
Me:  Sure
*1 hour passes*
Wife:  Why do you think all my ideas are bad?
 
For the record, my feedback was not aggressive, mean, or demeaning.  I simply did not give her the response she wanted.  And now she won’t drop it.  Rinse, wash, repeat.  I’m getting drunk now


Give sarcastic feedback but deadpan and never admit it.
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kmac30

kmac30 416

Posted
Posted

My wife has been sick for the last couple of days. Puking. Maybe fever. Nothing else. She was in bed most of the day yesterday. Before I left for work she said she was fine.

I just called to see how she was doing.

“I’m ok but my foot just really hurts. I think I pulled something when I was throwing up.”

“Um. Ok. Gotta go” post this dumb shit on Surly.

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Angry Gorilla

Angry Gorilla 1764

Posted
Posted

On the rare occasions she is up before I leave for work, we can both be in the bathroom/closet getting ready for 15 minutes straight without a word being spoken.  As soon as I say "ok, see  you later" I get a thousand questions she could has asked as I was getting ready.

You working out after work?
Where are you going to lunch?
Who are you going with?
Do you have that meeting today?
What do you want to do this weekend?
What time will you be home?
 

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BearCountry11

BearCountry11 1234

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

On the rare occasions she is up before I leave for work, we can both be in the bathroom/closet getting ready for 15 minutes straight without a word being spoken.  As soon as I say "ok, see  you later" I get a thousand questions she could has asked as I was getting ready.

You working out after work?
Where are you going to lunch?
Who are you going with?
Do you have that meeting today?
What do you want to do this weekend?
What time will you be home?
 

This hits close to home.  Or when I’m about to close my eyes to go to sleep that is the perfect time to plan our trip in 4 months.  

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huge

huge 3789

Posted
Posted
This hits close to home.  Or when I’m about to close my eyes to go to sleep that is the perfect time to plan our trip in 4 months.  

Or ask if I could do 12 things she could possibly think of that either of us could have done 30’minutes ago...
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SunUvAbitchMarcos

SunUvAbitchMarcos 129

Posted
Posted
I have a new entry from this morning:
My wife is not a huge meat eater, mostly vegetarian but will eat good quality stuff. Yesterday I made the best brisket I have ever made in my life for a get together with friends. Everyone was loving it including the wife, so I was feeling pretty good about it. There were about 2 pounds of leftovers since it was only us and another couple so I kept it.
Today during lunch my wife goes after the brisket again, but as I walk by her cutting the meat, I yell out “What the hell are you doing?!” Her response:
“I like the brisket, but I didnt want a fatty piece so I decided to slice off the bottom”
me: “You just sliced off the bark from an entire side of the brisket!”
her: “Oh..Well.. it tastes good! Lol”

So she actually said “lol”?
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JSB

JSB 677

Posted
Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

On the rare occasions she is up before I leave for work, we can both be in the bathroom/closet getting ready for 15 minutes straight without a word being spoken.  As soon as I say "ok, see  you later" I get a thousand questions she could has asked as I was getting ready.

You working out after work?
Where are you going to lunch?
Who are you going with?
Do you have that meeting today?
What do you want to do this weekend?
What time will you be home?
 

Yesterday, as I'm putting on my shoes, 2 minutes from leaving, I got "hey, can you blow up that new gigantic flamingo pool float we got for 'lil JSB before you leave?  She is having her dance class come over to swim today".

We spent like 2 hours the night before watching Santa Clarita Diet together, but it didn't happen to occur to her then.

She has also perfected the art of beginning to speak to me just as I'm far enough away to still hear that she is saying something, but not close enough to make out what it is.  Drives me insane

Edited by JSB
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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, JSB said:

She is also perfected the art of beginning to speak to me just as I'm far enough away to still hear that she is saying something, but not close enough to make out what it is.  Drives me insane

I've put my foot down on this behavior. You want to talk to me? Approach me. I WILL NOT answer you if you shout at me from another room unless you are shouting that the room is on fire.

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

yep.  Same here.

You're not talking to me from the other room and then asking me later why I didn't do what you said.  It's also a matter of respect.  We don't talk to the kids that way in our house either.

Sure, there are things like, "hey, the game's on"  or "Dinner's almost ready," that are OK from another room, but if it's something important, it'll be face to face.

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JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, slorch said:

yep.  Same here.

You're not talking to me from the other room and then asking me later why I didn't do what you said.  It's also a matter of respect.  We don't talk to the kids that way in our house either.

Sure, there are things like, "hey, the game's on"  or "Dinner's almost ready," that are OK from another room, but if it's something important, it'll be face to face.

 

There is some sort of magic switch on our master bath shower. As soon as the door is closed and the water is on is the bat signal for my wife to ask me 5000 questions really quietly....... Drives me insane.

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