Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[thunderlounge 7816]

49 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

I expect to be posting about a new house on this thread by 2022.  

If you’re lucky. This that place with the pond and all that? Fuccccck. I’d be calling Hornian before I moved off that place. 

[Kennythetiger 9377]

Who in the hell is going to live in the new apartment?  

[Bevo&Pevo 5131]

8 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Who in the hell is going to live in the new apartment?  

Gotta pay for those improvements somehow..

[Johnny Sack 8397]

9 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Who in the hell is going to live in the new apartment?  

Me.

[deadshank 24652]

21 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

I’d still come out ahead if all I have to pay for is a new place and the side piece picks up her monthly overhead. 

If this could possibly happen to me I would commission a 7' x 10' oil on canvas with said side piece's full-body portrait on a horse, conquering the world just like Napoleon Crossing the Alps and hang the picture above my fireplace and toast the magnificent bastard side piece every night.

[deadshank 24652]

1 hour ago, Johnny Sack said:

We’ve (she) has a list of about 8 projects now.  The cheapest of which will cost no less than $10 grand.   Total all in probably a cool quarter mil (new garage and garage apartment being the big ticket item).  
 

I’m fine with doing it.  But I told her we are absolutely not fucking moving for at least ten years if we do this.   
 

I expect to be posting about a new house on this thread by 2022.  

I anxiously await you sending me the plans to this project.  

 

[ROFL BOX 6649]

6 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

I expect to be posting about a new house my divorce on this thread by 2022.  

What's your zip code?

[ROFL BOX 6649]

4 hours ago, deadshank said:

I anxiously await you sending me the plans to this project.  

 

Hey... I saw the post 2nd.  Hands off.

[SuperSport 1333]

Hey did y'all know that "Geronimo!" is just something you yell when jumping into the pool?..it doesn't have any historical origins or context or anything.  Wife told me.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

24 minutes ago, SuperSport said:

Hey did y'all know that "Geronimo!" is just something you yell when jumping into the pool?..it doesn't have any historical origins or context or anything.  Wife told me.

[Player 4575]

Hey did y'all know that "Geronimo!" is just something you yell when jumping into the pool?..it doesn't have any historical origins or context or anything.  Wife told me.

I did not know that, Two Dogs Fucking.

[CHIEF 5079]

4 hours ago, SuperSport said:

Hey did y'all know that "Geronimo!" is just something you yell when jumping into the pool?..it doesn't have any historical origins or context or anything.  Wife told me.

Not my wife, but someone else's wife (grew up in the 60's): 

Her:  Do you know what the GTO stands for in Pontiac GTO?

Me: Gran Turismo Obligato, like a Ferrari GTO. That's where it got it's name from.

Her: No, that's not it. No one really knows.

SMH

CHIEF

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

They named it after a video game? /some wife somewhere

[SuperSport 1333]

Omologato*

[Upgrayedd 5810]

29 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

They named it after a video game? /some wife somewhere

Love Grand Theft Otto 

[tbone_ 14115]

I always thought it stood for Get your Tits Out.

[G650 14249]

15 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

I always thought it stood for Get your Tits Out.

Well, it should.

[davidg 4036]

 

18 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

I always thought it stood for Get your Tits Out.

 

3 minutes ago, G650 said:

Well, it should.

I believe if you had one in the late '60s it was a given that would happen.

[Biff Tannen 45673]

48 minutes ago, SuperSport said:

Omologato*

domo arigato

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

3 minutes ago, davidg said:

I believe if you had one in the late '60s it was a given that would happen.

Only if you had this bumper sticker. The law is the law:

[WhatTheBuck 28776]

5 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Not my wife, but someone else's wife (grew up in the 60's): 

Her:  Do you know what the GTO stands for in Pontiac GTO?

Me: Gran Turismo Obligato, like a Ferrari GTO. That's where it got it's name from.

Her: No, that's not it. No one really knows.

SMH

CHIEF

GTFO

[luke duke 6412]

[ROFL BOX 6649]

Shouldn't this be in CYHMWT? under the heading of "Divorce Lawyer needed, Dallas Area"?

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

[Anastasis 23469]

4 hours ago, luke duke said:

Rage. 

[tejas60 3533]

where's the brillo pad?

[SHOOTER12 8800]

26 minutes ago, tejas60 said:

where's the brillo pad?

Right next to the Dillo pad.

[EastTexan 662]

Was thinking, one of those Brillo pads that's soaked with soap.

[luke duke 6412]

where's the brillo pad?

She tried that once on this same skillet about 16 or 17 years ago. Fortunately I caught her quickly on that one.

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Maybe unpopular opinion thread: But people baby the fuck out of cast iron. “Oh noes two ml of liquid soap hit my cast iron, better sand blast it down to base metal and spend the next 3 months seasoning before I actually use it for cooking a meal. My mother in law used an aluminum spatula on my comal! Sigh, just going to sell it for scrap and look for another vintage griddle online!”

 

Meanwhile the thing that makes them great is Po Campo banging them down the trail in the wagon with miles of dust slowly sticking to last nights lard before it gets shoved directly onto the coals or WW2 widows cooking morning eggs in last nights grease with a couple charred onions still clinging to the side.

 

Wipe it down throw some Crisco on it for an hour at 375 and it’ll be damn near the same as it was 17 years ago. It is cast iron not Waterford Crystal.

 

 

 

 

[fattyflattie 4639]

Unpopular opinion thread is that way @Llano Estacado    Soapy ass cast iron lover. 

[The Ace of Aces 5181]

The wife doesn’t eat dessert. Or meat. Or dressings on her salad. She is incredibly healthy and willl outlive me, which is fine. 
 

Tonight she said if someone paid her $1,000 to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie she would, but she’d need $10,000 to eat a chocolate chip cookie.

 

Any new wife suggestions?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21897]

That’s really sad, but there are rules

[DCA_HORN 725]

The wife doesn’t eat dessert. Or meat. Or dressings on her salad. She is incredibly healthy and willl outlive me, which is fine. 
 
Tonight she said if someone paid her $1,000 to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie she would, but she’d need $10,000 to eat a chocolate chip cookie.
 
Any new wife suggestions?

What difference does she see between the two cookies?

[Not a cat 5652]

So she is willing to put things in her mouth for cash, now we're just haggling on price?

[G650 14249]

20 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

Maybe unpopular opinion thread: But people baby the fuck out of cast iron. “Oh noes two ml of liquid soap hit my cast iron, better sand blast it down to base metal and spend the next 3 months seasoning before I actually use it for cooking a meal. My mother in law used an aluminum spatula on my comal! Sigh, just going to sell it for scrap and look for another vintage griddle online!”

 

Meanwhile the thing that makes them great is Po Campo banging them down the trail in the wagon with miles of dust slowly sticking to last nights lard before it gets shoved directly onto the coals or WW2 widows cooking morning eggs in last nights grease with a couple charred onions still clinging to the side.

 

Wipe it down throw some Crisco on it for an hour at 375 and it’ll be damn near the same as it was 17 years ago. It is cast iron not Waterford Crystal.

 

 

 

 

I could give a shit about the cast iron, its the years of grease I've cooked into the thing I'm concerned about.

[WhatTheBuck 28776]

7 hours ago, DCA_HORN said:

8 hours ago, The Ace of Aces said:

The wife doesn’t eat dessert. Or meat. Or dressings on her salad. She is incredibly healthy and willl outlive me, which is fine. 
 
Tonight she said if someone paid her $1,000 to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie she would, but she’d need $10,000 to eat a chocolate chip cookie.
 
Any new wife suggestions?

Read more  

What difference does she see between the two cookies?

$9,000

[Armybrat 40832]

9 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

That’s really sad, but there are rules

Don’t need to see a pic of a communist.

[MissingInAction 25035]

9 hours ago, The Ace of Aces said:

The wife doesn’t eat dessert. Or meat. Or dressings on her salad. She is incredibly healthy and willl outlive me, which is fine. 
 

Tonight she said if someone paid her $1,000 to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie she would, but she’d need $10,000 to eat a chocolate chip cookie.

 

Any new wife suggestions?

I will need to see pics of wife with sharpies in her culo, in order to make the proper suggestions.

[chikin23 384]

The wife doesn’t eat dessert. Or meat. Or dressings on her salad. She is incredibly healthy and willl outlive me, which is fine. 
 
Tonight she said if someone paid her $1,000 to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie she would, but she’d need $10,000 to eat a chocolate chip cookie.
 
Any new wife suggestions?

I'm always reminded of this when I hear people talk about living healthy.

[tbone_ 14115]

Don’t need to see a pic of a communist.

How else are we gonna know if she’s hot and/or rude?

[luke duke 6412]

On 5/2/2020 at 10:22 AM, Llano Estacado said:

Maybe unpopular opinion thread: But people baby the fuck out of cast iron. “Oh noes two ml of liquid soap hit my cast iron, better sand blast it down to base metal and spend the next 3 months seasoning before I actually use it for cooking a meal. My mother in law used an aluminum spatula on my comal! Sigh, just going to sell it for scrap and look for another vintage griddle online!”

 

Meanwhile the thing that makes them great is Po Campo banging them down the trail in the wagon with miles of dust slowly sticking to last nights lard before it gets shoved directly onto the coals or WW2 widows cooking morning eggs in last nights grease with a couple charred onions still clinging to the side.

 

Wipe it down throw some Crisco on it for an hour at 375 and it’ll be damn near the same as it was 17 years ago. It is cast iron not Waterford Crystal.

 

 

 

 

Settle down Beavis. I use soap in mine all the time, however soaking it in water overnight because you're too lazy to scrub for 10 seconds is unacceptable.

[MissingInAction 25035]

56 minutes ago, luke duke said:

Settle down Beavis. I use soap in mine all the time, however soaking it in water overnight because you're too lazy to scrub for 10 seconds is unacceptable.

Soaking them only results in rust.

 

2020 Rona Cast Iron Skillet talk not going away,

Edited May 3, 2020 by MissingInAction

[Beau Vine 54211]

Wife has a box of small graduation presents she wants to ship to daughter and her friends in Colorado, but doesn't want to go to the post office to get postage.

"If I knew what it weighed, I can buy postage online and print it out."

My solution: "Just estimate what you think it weighs, then buy postage for more than that weight.  Who cares if you put on a couple of bucks extra in postage?"

The solution she chose: Ordered a $20 scale from Amazon so that she wouldn't waste money on extra postage.

[Player 4575]

Was it a mattress scale at least?

[deadshank 24652]

17 hours ago, The Ace of Aces said:

The wife doesn’t eat dessert. Or meat. Or dressings on her salad. She is incredibly healthy and willl outlive me, which is fine. 
 

Tonight she said if someone paid her $1,000 to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie she would, but she’d need $10,000 to eat a chocolate chip cookie.

 

Any new wife suggestions?

That is awesome.  My wife is the same way.  I bet her $50 she couldn’t / wouldn’t crush a double What with double cheese all the way and jalapeños and a super size fries.   She’s 5’4” 115 lbs and eats very healthy.  

I lost the $50 but the angst and bargaining from her when she was about 80% through the deal was worth it.  

[TrashMaster G 17551]

2 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Wife has a box of small graduation presents she wants to ship to daughter and her friends in Colorado, but doesn't want to go to the post office to get postage.

"If I knew what it weighed, I can buy postage online and print it out."

My solution: "Just estimate what you think it weighs, then buy postage for more than that weight.  Who cares if you put on a couple of bucks extra in postage?"

The solution she chose: Ordered a $20 scale from Amazon so that she wouldn't waste money on extra postage.

Fucking hell. The definition of femsanity.

[WhatTheBuck 28776]

4 hours ago, deadshank said:

 She’s 5’4” 115 lbs and eats very healthy.  

 

4 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Dear God, please tell me you took video of that experience. 

Really, pics or video of any kind would be appreciated. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21897]

Wife has a box of small graduation presents she wants to ship to daughter and her friends in Colorado, but doesn't want to go to the post office to get postage.
"If I knew what it weighed, I can buy postage online and print it out."
My solution: "Just estimate what you think it weighs, then buy postage for more than that weight.  Who cares if you put on a couple of bucks extra in postage?"
The solution she chose: Ordered a $20 scale from Amazon so that she wouldn't waste money on extra postage.

Come on, you know that’s how all of us ended up with most of our tools.

[Sam Lin 3555]

7 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Come on, you know that’s how all of us ended up with most of our tools.

Yeah, I'm thinking that is a pot-kettle-black situation there.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

8 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Come on, you know that’s how all of us ended up with most of our tools.

If I had the space, I would gladly pay $ 5,000 for a car lift so I would have an easier time doing $ 30.00 oil changes & "free"  brake jobs on my truck (lifetime pad warranty).