Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17581

Posted
Posted
Just now, Nivek said:

So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.

I do hope that you are taking this golden opportunity to teach your son about female insanity.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

Armybrat

Armybrat 40857

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Thread jack:

How'd everything go yesterday, Brat?

 

Am temporarily blind (supposedly) in that eye. Doc removed the tissue crud off the retina and pumped an air bubble in there for whatever reason. Says it will dissipate in a week and then the vision should return to normal in a few months.

guess he's happy to make another payment on his Porsche, and I’ll be happy to see the Sarah J Underwood pics without squinting.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HoffaJimmy

HoffaJimmy 316

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, Nivek said:

So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.

 

tenor.gif?itemid=15466663

 

This is an almost everyday occurrence at our house. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
thunderlounge

thunderlounge 7893

Posted
Posted
48 minutes ago, Nivek said:


Had 5 of those.

Buick was one of the original divisions, and chevy was just a dealer that modded buicks.

The GS/Skylarks were nice as well.


A good buddy of mine all through school got a 72 (maybe 73, can’t remember exactly now) Skylark for his 13th birthday from his dad. Now it was in sad, sad shape at that point. Made the Dirté roadrunner look mint kind of bad. 
 

They worked on it for 3 years and had it in mint condition for his 16th birthday. It was a beauty, and still is almost 30 years later. 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
tbone_

tbone_ 14134

Posted
Posted
So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.

You shoulda kept the grand nationals instead of her.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18848

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Nivek said:

So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.

there is only a single entendre in your case

 

spacer.png

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nivek

Nivek 16949

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, HoffaJimmy said:

 

tenor.gif?itemid=15466663

 

This is an almost everyday occurrence at our house. 

 

My son (8) and I were at an end of the season baseball game.    Several of us were shooting the shit and the wife of one of the coaches comments on her husband's tone and then she asks us what we think.  Everyone of us said our wives all say the same thing to us.   You could see the Simpson's (Am I wrong, no, it is the children men who are wrong) processing in her head.   

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pescado_Rojo

Pescado_Rojo 19427

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Nivek said:

So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.

I have a similar problem, but I'm not hard on the boy per se, I just hold him accountable and if I threaten him with a consequence, I follow through. She just yells louder and gets pissed when he still doesn't listen, then yells at me. It's delightful. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Player

Player 4575

Posted
Posted
My son (8) and I were at an end of the season baseball game.    Several of us were shooting the shit and the wife of one of the coaches comments on her husband's tone and then she asks us what we think.  Everyone of us said our wives all say the same thing to us.   You could see the Simpson's (Am I wrong, no, it is the children men who are wrong) processing in her head.   
 


b2781a77fa961cb6e38e9250657dd1fd.jpg
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
markstanco

markstanco 12586

Posted
Posted

Got damn.

So Mrs stanco and I used to go to Starbucks each day and get a latte or whatever. So about 10-12 a day, and that's 365. Decided 12-15 years ago to get a middle of the road espresso machine, spend around 700. They go out after 5 to 7 years. Get our coffee from blue bottle coffee out of Oakland among other places. No store bought crap.

So, our 2nd one finally died (after being sent off for service once, but it was old) and unbeknownst to me she says "I bought a new one. Great reviews" I casually mention that I normally look at the specs and buy it (psi of the steamer and whatnot). She said it was a good one. This one was 475 or whatever and that should have made me investigate but i claim dumbass for not.

Tonight I saw it in the kitchen. "Hey do you like it?"

"Its okay"
"Huh?"
"Well it takes pods."
"SEND IT BACK'
"Can't, I wanted coffee this morning so I went to wal mart and got some pods"

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites
markstanco

markstanco 12586

Posted
Posted
So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.
I'm a little confused as to how we are married to the exact same woman.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13253

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Am temporarily blind (supposedly) in that eye. Doc removed the tissue crud off the retina and pumped an air bubble in there for whatever reason. Says it will dissipate in a week and then the vision should return to normal in a few months.

guess he's happy to make another payment on his Porsche, and I’ll be happy to see the Sarah J Underwood pics without squinting.

Good to hear Brat.

Did the doc by chance fix it so that you don't see and post images upside down?

  • Like 6
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SuckitKevin

SuckitKevin 920

Posted
Posted

Wife and I took our daughter to a birthday party at one of her friend’s house last summer. When we walked in the mother of the girl laughed that she had forgotten to get helium for the balloons so she got scotch tape and stuck them to the ceiling. My wife looked at me and said, “that’s neat, it’s reverse psychology!” Yes babe, yes it is.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
CycleTex87

CycleTex87 2979

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, SuckitKevin said:

Wife and I took our daughter to a birthday party at one of her friend’s house last summer. When we walked in the mother of the girl laughed that she had forgotten to get helium for the balloons so she got scotch tape and stuck them to the ceiling. My wife looked at me and said, “that’s neat, it’s reverse psychology!” Yes babe, yes it is.

I stopped reading at scotch.  Because kids birthday parties. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
wd40

wd40 1976

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
12 hours ago, markstanco said:

Got damn.

So Mrs stanco and I used to go to Starbucks each day and get a latte or whatever. So about 10-12 a day, and that's 365. Decided 12-15 years ago to get a middle of the road espresso machine, spend around 700. They go out after 5 to 7 years. Get our coffee from blue bottle coffee out of Oakland among other places. No store bought crap.

So, our 2nd one finally died (after being sent off for service once, but it was old) and unbeknownst to me she says "I bought a new one. Great reviews" I casually mention that I normally look at the specs and buy it (psi of the steamer and whatnot). She said it was a good one. This one was 475 or whatever and that should have made me investigate but i claim dumbass for not.

Tonight I saw it in the kitchen. "Hey do you like it?"

"Its okay"
"Huh?"
"Well it takes pods."
"SEND IT BACK'
"Can't, I wanted coffee this morning so I went to wal mart and got some pods"
 

tell the last part first

  • Like 10
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5214

Posted
Posted

Texted

Her: "I forgot to tell you when Herman came over the other day he used the new walkway you added through the garden."

Herman is a badass 94 year old WWII veteran that lives next door, uses a walker and came all the way over to bring some of our mail that he had gotten by mistake.

Herman came by about a week ago.  I added the walkway in the garden two weeks ago.

There was no conversation about him, the event or the walkway in the last week.

Her and I had just gotten off the phone about 3 minutes earlier.

She texted this while driving. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17581

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, mulletpelini said:

Texted

Her: "I forgot to tell you when Herman came over the other day he used the new walkway you added through the garden."

Herman is a badass 94 year old WWII veteran that lives next door, uses a walker and came all the way over to bring some of our mail that he had gotten by mistake.

Herman came by about a week ago.  I added the walkway in the garden two weeks ago.

There was no conversation about him, the event or the walkway in the last week.

Her and I had just gotten off the phone about 3 minutes earlier.

She texted this while driving. 

Dude, it was an emergency.  Lighten up.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8814

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I have a similar problem, but I'm not hard on the boy per se, I just hold him accountable and if I threaten him with a consequence, I follow through. She just yells louder and gets pissed when he still doesn't listen, then yells at me. It's delightful. 

+1 on both your and Niveks' post.   "You're too hard, you're too mean". something, something, nmd

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8814

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, SuckitKevin said:

Wife and I took our daughter to a birthday party at one of her friend’s house last summer. When we walked in the mother of the girl laughed that she had forgotten to get helium for the balloons so she got scotch tape and stuck them to the ceiling. My wife looked at me and said, “that’s neat, it’s reverse psychology!” Yes babe, yes it is.

That made me dizzy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
VolenteHawk

VolenteHawk 495

Posted
Posted
On 5/14/2020 at 11:15 AM, Nivek said:

So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.

Not that I miss her or anything, but it’s my weekend with our wife.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nivek

Nivek 16949

Posted
Posted

Another classic fuck up on my part., that has been posted before.  about 2 months or so ago, our wife tells me the ceiling fan broke.   I was too busy to do anything about it, so she picked out a new one, blah blah blah after about 1.5 months of research.   the 3 yr old and I open the new one to check it our, I wanted to read how much of a pain in the ass it would be to install.   I look up.  I notice the switch for the direction is half-way between up and down.  The old fan works just fine.   I will be installing the new one anyway this weekend I am sure with more toddler help.    Her previous diagnostics had been 'I think something is wrong with your bike' = 3 broken/bent spokes following her colliding with a neighbor kid.  And I think something is wrong with the car ' following a car accident where the tires was now rubbing against the wheel well.  

 

I am also getting ready for my future son-in-law to post on here.  On a recent bike ride with my daughter (6) she managed to scrape her handle bars against my car for about 2 feet.   My 3 yr old son manages the same gap without colliding.   She also ran into a parked car and earned a black eye the day after.  

  • Like 6
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
gyroprotagonist

gyroprotagonist 2594

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Another classic fuck up on my part., that has been posted before.  about 2 months or so ago, our wife tells me the ceiling fan broke.   I was too busy to do anything about it, so she picked out a new one, blah blah blah after about 1.5 months of research.   the 3 yr old and I open the new one to check it our, I wanted to read how much of a pain in the ass it would be to install.   I look up.  I notice the switch for the direction is half-way between up and down.  The old fan works just fine.   I will be installing the new one anyway this weekend I am sure with more toddler help.    Her previous diagnostics had been 'I think something is wrong with your bike' = 3 broken/bent spokes following her colliding with a neighbor kid.  And I think something is wrong with the car ' following a car accident where the tires was now rubbing against the wheel well.  

 

I am also getting ready for my future son-in-law to post on here.  On a recent bike ride with my daughter (6) she managed to scrape her handle bars against my car for about 2 feet.   My 3 yr old son manages the same gap without colliding.   She also ran into a parked car and earned a black eye the day after.  

 

Quote

about 2 months or so ago, our wife tells me the ceiling fan broke

so what kind of arrangement you got going on over there.  Time share wife?

Or did 2 or more posters finally confirm that they are definitely married to the same woman for reals

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jkates

jkates 316

Posted
Posted
On 5/14/2020 at 11:15 AM, Nivek said:

So the wife tells me I am too hard on our oldest boy. Son does what I tell him to do. Later on, the wife complains that the boy wont listen to her and asks for help.

Next day, wife complains how my methods are jut not right even if they are effective. Today she complains that the boy wont listen to her again and asks for help.

"A friend of mine" can relate to this. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36481

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, gyroprotagonist said:

 

so what kind of arrangement you got going on over there.  Time share wife?

Or did 2 or more posters finally confirm that they are definitely married to the same woman for reals

 

 

DP

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...