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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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Just pressure washed the back deck with the wife helping and made the mistake of pointing at a spot for her to get when she had the wand. Got the back part of my index finger grazed by the water and now it stings like a motherfucker. Didn’t break the skin too much, but I immediately realized this would have to be filed under stupid shit husbands do. 

Yep you’re fault. Those hurt
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Sandman

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I have an old project car I like to tinker on. It sits next to the house and I try to make an effort to drive it at least once a week so the battery doesn't die. I told the wife a while back that I need to take it out for a long drive and let it "stretch it's legs". She got it confused with "spread it's wings". I asked her tonight if she wanted to go out and she said (not for the first time) "Are we taking it out to spread it's legs?". Hopefully later, dear.

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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9 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I have an old project car I like to tinker on. It sits next to the house and I try to make an effort to drive it at least once a week so the battery doesn't die. I told the wife a while back that I need to take it out for a long drive and let it "stretch it's legs". She got it confused with "spread it's wings". I asked her tonight if she wanted to go out and she said (not for the first time) "Are we taking it out to spread it's legs?". Hopefully later, dear.

Will we all fit in the back seat to watch?

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15352

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39 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I have an old project car I like to tinker on. It sits next to the house and I try to make an effort to drive it at least once a week so the battery doesn't die. I told the wife a while back that I need to take it out for a long drive and let it "stretch it's legs". She got it confused with "spread it's wings". I asked her tonight if she wanted to go out and she said (not for the first time) "Are we taking it out to spread it's legs?". Hopefully later, dear.

Put the metal to the pedal, and the thing to the floor.  Why do you drive so fast? 

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luke duke

luke duke 6413

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The stupid thing was handing her the wand, not the pointing. 


Sometimes you have to let your wife or kid help you with a project even though you know that you’ll have to go back and redo everything they touched. For your kids, you hope that it is a nice bonding moment and perhaps they will learn something. For your wife, you know that you won’t get laid for a while if you tell her to go away because she’ll fuck everything up.
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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52560

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2 minutes ago, luke duke said:

 


Sometimes you have to let your wife or kid help you with a project even though you know that you’ll have to go back and redo everything they touched. For your kids, you hope that it is a nice bonding moment and perhaps they will learn something. For your wife, you know that you won’t get laid for a while if you tell her to go away because she’ll fuck everything up.

 

But not when thousands of psi are involved. 

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4997

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Let the wife measure/mark 4 pictures above the kid’s bed.  When she was done I started double checking her and she gave me a ton of attitude about it so I said fuck it and just drilled the holes.  When she put the pictures on the wall I finally measured the gaps between the pictures were 8 3/4, 9, and 8 1/2.  She thinks it looks fine, but that bugs the shit out of me.

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Sandman

Sandman 3411

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3 minutes ago, thunderlounge said:

 

What, are you claiming Motel 6? Because your wife specifically said it was more like Motel 3.5".

Ha, so NOW all of the sudden, a woman can accurately judge measurments/units of time, etc.? You should know better.

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Bevo&Pevo

Bevo&Pevo 5217

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3 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Let the wife measure/mark 4 pictures above the kid’s bed.  When she was done I started double checking her and she gave me a ton of attitude about it so I said fuck it and just drilled the holes.  When she put the pictures on the wall I finally measured the gaps between the pictures were 8 3/4, 9, and 8 1/2.  She thinks it looks fine, but that bugs the shit out of me.

It would bug the shit outta me also.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8819

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On 6/20/2020 at 9:40 PM, Sandman said:

I have an old project car I like to tinker on. It sits next to the house and I try to make an effort to drive it at least once a week so the battery doesn't die. I told the wife a while back that I need to take it out for a long drive and let it "stretch it's legs". She got it confused with "spread it's wings". I asked her tonight if she wanted to go out and she said (not for the first time) "Are we taking it out to spread it's legs?". Hopefully later, dear.

Oh shit sandman, I needed that..lol

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Chewbacca

Chewbacca 7782

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I come back from fishing yesterday to see this in the kitchen. I ask the wife what happened and she got real quiet. Eventually she fessed up that she was measuring the wall and the tape got down between the plug that was in there and the outlet. It shorted and fried the outlet. Did not trip the breaker and, amazingly, did not kill the appliance that was plugged in.

 

Anyone know if i can just replace the outlet, or do i need a pro to come look at this?

 

eaf3283353468ecb3e803ad08f6d914a.jpg

 

 

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4997

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1 minute ago, Chewbacca said:

I come back from fishing yesterday to see this in the kitchen. I ask the wife what happened and she got real quiet. Eventually she fessed up that she was measuring the wall and the tape got down between the plug that was in there and the outlet. It shorted and fried the outlet. Did not trip the breaker and, amazingly, did not kill the appliance that was plugged in.

Anyone know if i can just replace outlet?eaf3283353468ecb3e803ad08f6d914a.jpg

Assuming no issues at the breaker, just pull the cover off and check for power at the connections with a voltmeter (if you don’t have one this is a good excuse to get one, they aren’t expensive and it’s good to have one on hand if you do any level of electrical work).  If you get a reading you should be able to replace it.  If not I’d call an electrician.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18852

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8 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

I come back from fishing yesterday to see this in the kitchen. I ask the wife what happened and she got real quiet. Eventually she fessed up that she was measuring the wall and the tape got down between the plug that was in there and the outlet. It shorted and fried the outlet. Did not trip the breaker and, amazingly, did not kill the appliance that was plugged in.

 

Anyone know if i can just replace the outlet, or do i need a pro to come look at this?

 

eaf3283353468ecb3e803ad08f6d914a.jpg

 

 

Outstanding...did she get a free perm out of the deal as well?

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11682

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11 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

I come back from fishing yesterday to see this in the kitchen. I ask the wife what happened and she got real quiet. Eventually she fessed up that she was measuring the wall and the tape got down between the plug that was in there and the outlet. It shorted and fried the outlet. Did not trip the breaker and, amazingly, did not kill the appliance that was plugged in.

 

Anyone know if i can just replace the outlet, or do i need a pro to come look at this?

 

eaf3283353468ecb3e803ad08f6d914a.jpg

 

 

Just replace the plug.

If the insulation on the wire connected to the outlet took some damage cut it back to where its in good shape.  I would be surprised if there is damage in the box.  The whole plug would most likely be melted.

 

Its $5 for a new plug and 10 min of effort to replace.  

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11682

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I would recommend flipping the appropriate breaker before doing the above.  If you decide not to, please video and post

yes to both.

 

 

But also there is quite a margin for error with 110V power in regards to a fatal accident.   Don't take that as encouragement to go sticking screwdrivers in outlets or other careless work.

Edited by Incredulity
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8819

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3 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I would recommend flipping the appropriate breaker before doing the above.  If you decide not to, please video and post

This

Had a stepson flip a breaker when I was swapping out a light switch once. Immediate child abuse ensued.

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You don't know me

You don't know me 1161

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3 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

Between the plug and the outlet? Was it just barely plugged in? I can’t imagine a scenario where this could happen if an appliance were simply plugged in right. (Obviously I’m assuming she was responsible for this as well)

It happened to me many years ago.  I was working at a snack bar and had to take the metal straps off the top of the juice machines every night so that I could clean inside the machines.  I took the metal band off and just laid it in the back of the machine, which I did every night and how I was shown.  One time I set it down and it went between the plug and the wall outlet and rested right on the prongs.  The metal band was welded to the metal countertop by the time I was able to let go.  I think every manager of the store that was on duty came by while I was closing up to see if I was okay.  The pucker factor was probably pretty high for them.

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Chewbacca

Chewbacca 7782

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1 hour ago, Incredulity said:

Just replace the plug.

If the insulation on the wire connected to the outlet took some damage cut it back to where its in good shape.  I would be surprised if there is damage in the box.  The whole plug would most likely be melted.

 

Its $5 for a new plug and 10 min of effort to replace.  

Yeah, I've replaced plugs before, just wasn't sure if this is something bigger than just the plug.  I'll take a look in the box with a voltmeter and go from there.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8819

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1 minute ago, Kennythetiger said:

I've got time for this story.

Light switch had gone bad in the hallway.  I had some switches in the garage, but for whatever reason couldn't remember if they were good or not.  I included my 13/14 year old stepson to help so he could start learning how to do things. I turned off the breaker and proceeded to remove the bad switch.  I was explaining to the stepson that I would put the "new" switch in and I'd call out for him to flip the breaker back on. So he went back to the breaker box to await my call.  Ex-wife walked and said I had a phone call. I told her not now as she was walking away... she turned back to me and said "what"?  I raised my voice and said "not now".  The boy heard it, except all he heard was "now".   Yep, flipped the damned breaker on. Still think it was intentional.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40872

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2 hours ago, You don't know me said:

It happened to me many years ago.  I was working at a snack bar and had to take the metal straps off the top of the juice machines every night so that I could clean inside the machines.  I took the metal band off and just laid it in the back of the machine, which I did every night and how I was shown.  One time I set it down and it went between the plug and the wall outlet and rested right on the prongs.  The metal band was welded to the metal countertop by the time I was able to let go.  I think every manager of the store that was on duty came by while I was closing up to see if I was okay.  The pucker factor was probably pretty high for them.

When they did, I hope you lived up to your avatar.

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