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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

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Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13253

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Chewbacca said:
5 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:
I would recommend flipping the appropriate breaker before doing the above.  If you decide not to, please video and post

I will be in charge of this operation. Breakers will be flipped. Lives will be saved.

Don't replace the wall plate. It's a great conversation piece for when you have guests over.

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thunderlounge

thunderlounge 7825

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, luke duke said:

Replace it with a GFCI. Current code requires kitchen and bathroom outlets to be GFCI.

 

Maybe a WFCI would be better. (Wife Fault Circuit Interruption)

 

 

2 hours ago, G650 said:

Shall we delve back into dishwasher switches...

 

I need to switch dishwashers. The one I have now is getting too aggressive on the nagging front.

 

 

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markstanco

markstanco 12576

Posted
Posted

With my rotator cuff surgury I caught a break on the quarterly garage reorganization. It never gets bad, but we have a 2+1 and on the one side a few atvs for the boys, bikes, etc.

Her turn to do it.

We keep out Blackstone griddle in the garage and she thought it would be better placed on the double side where all the yard tools are.

faf1bc4150b9068f1588d24cd7f9d099.jpg

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Sandman

Sandman 3403

Posted
Posted

Wife got a new laptop and wanted to use my USB drive to transfer her work stuff. I gave it to her and went about doing whatever the fuck I was doing at the time. Yesterday, she wanted it again and asked me for it. I told her she never gave it back, she vehemently denied that. I started looking for it and found nothing. She finds a 64gb drive and asked if that was the one. I was sure mine was 128gb so I said that wasn't the one. Again, I accused her of not puting it back, she said "I gave it RIGHT BACK to you when I was done!". I got on Amazon to order a new one and I decided to check and see when I bought the last one, because I was pretty sure it wasn't that long ago. Turns out, that 64gb one was mine after all. Hmm.

Me: Hey, I was wrong. That drive is mine, I guess I just forgot it was 64gb.

Her: THANK you. I told you I was pretty sure this was it!

Me: So where did you find it, again? 

Her: In my end table...

Me: So you didn't give it back, like you said. You kept it. THANK you.

Her: Tone

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nnm

nnm 36386

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Sandman said:

Wife got a new laptop and wanted to use my USB drive to transfer her work stuff. I gave it to her and went about doing whatever the fuck I was doing at the time. Yesterday, she wanted it again and asked me for it. I told her she never gave it back, she vehemently denied that. I started looking for it and found nothing. She finds a 64gb drive and asked if that was the one. I was sure mine was 128gb so I said that wasn't the one. Again, I accused her of not puting it back, she said "I gave it RIGHT BACK to you when I was done!". I got on Amazon to order a new one and I decided to check and see when I bought the last one, because I was pretty sure it wasn't that long ago. Turns out, that 64gb one was mine after all. Hmm.

Me: Hey, I was wrong. That drive is mine, I guess I just forgot it was 64gb.

Her: THANK you. I told you I was pretty sure this was it!

Me: So where did you find it, again? 

Her: In my end table...

Me: So you didn't give it back, like you said. You kept it. THANK you.

Her: Tone

tenor.gif?itemid=5124246

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18818

Posted
Posted
On 6/25/2020 at 11:53 AM, BHMCruiser said:

your wife sounds very very very fat

Go fuck yourself 

39 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


And the problem with his significant other wanting whataburger is...?

Not a problem,  except dropping that much coin at HEB brings an expectation of some kitchen activity 

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21905

Posted
Posted
51 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

In your experience, it’s perfectly acceptable to propose to a stripper. Or was at one time. So how valuable is your experience?

We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success.

Samuel Smiles

I’m pretty sure that means I’m one of the wisest men on the planet

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3556

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Wife: There are lots of planes flying today. Look at all the entrails in the sky.

Me: (don't laugh...don't laugh)

<tangent> - I enjoy looking at the sky and making chemtrail comments when near total strangers. Sometimes gets a good reaction.

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4991

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Cheeseweasel said:

What makes wives think it is acceptable to put a large box/cup into a tiny waste paper basket?

We have a recycle bin mainly for bottles and cans but every time she goes to the mail box she puts all the ads/free papers in a stack on top of bin.  Doesn’t curl it to fit into the bin or smash it down.  Bugs the shit out of me.

At least she’s not throwing half full cans away anymore.

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shakahorn

shakahorn 1645

Posted
Posted
19 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

What DOES Pornhub smell like?

Step outside.  Close the door behind you.  Take a walk or something, stay outside in the fresh air for at least 15 minutes.  Go back in.  Take a deep breath. That's what Pornhub smells like.

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ROFL BOX

ROFL BOX 6649

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

As opposed to on the counter nearest the trashcan like 90% of the other wives in this thread?

 

As opposed to bringing all the junk mail into the house to never get sorted or thrown away vs. stopping RIGHT THERE in the driveway to throw that shit out so it never actually gets into the house.

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