Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[Nuge 1966]

Or, they're still in the old car...

[Johnny Sack 8397]

17 minutes ago, Nuge said:

Or, they're still in the old car...

No.  She used them both for a week.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

6 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

Got the wife a new vehicle recently.  Her old one was 8 years old and 100,000 miles.  She managed for 8 years not to lose the gate opener or the garage door opener.  Lost both the first week in new vehicle.

We all blame you for not programing the remotes into the built-in features for the new vehicle.

[Pato del Muerto 52489]

A couple of months ago I bought a 2017 f250. I went to program my opener and lo and behold the integrated buttons are not a standard feature, and not on my lariat. So I had to leave the opener on it.  Who knew it wasn’t standard in every new vehicle as late as 2017?  

[mulletpelini 5210]

On 7/22/2020 at 1:29 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

It got kicked. The less you know the better.

If a sun visor got kicked, that means legs were up in the air.

Someone got some splainin to do

[Spartan52 151]

If a sun visor got kicked, that means legs were up in the air.
Someone got some splainin to do

Well I’m not the one who acted like a 'Ho


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[idigTexas 2286]

1 hour ago, Spartan52 said:

Well I’m not the one who acted like a 'Ho
 

Avatar does not check out.

[markstanco 12574]

For some retarded reason my wife doesn't like me washing my hats and shoes in the dishwasher. I honestly don't know why, it goes through a cycle like the washing machine with clean water at the end. She thinks it will make the dishes smell like hats and shoes.

Anyhow, I just got back from vacation and she and the boys are still out there in oregon till Saturday so my shit is getting washed.

[nnm 36361]

@markstanco, this is the stupid crap WIVES do thread, not the stupid things HUSBANDS do. 
That’s a little off. 

[markstanco 12574]

[mention=1619]markstanco[/mention], this is the stupid crap WIVES do thread, not the stupid things HUSBANDS do. 
That’s a little off. 

Yea you are probably right. Anyhow, my shit is clean.

[ztejas 43418]

37 minutes ago, markstanco said:

For some retarded reason my wife doesn't like me washing my hats and shoes in the dishwasher. I honestly don't know why, it goes through a cycle like the washing machine with clean water at the end. She thinks it will make the dishes smell like hats and shoes.

Anyhow, I just got back from vacation and she and the boys are still out there in oregon till Saturday so my shit is getting washed.

[SHOOTER12 8800]

On 7/20/2020 at 10:23 AM, TrashMaster G said:

I guess pinned under a fat girl is sorta like prison.

In his case it means he's been thrown in the hole...

[markstanco 12574]

The beauty of a dishwasher cleaning your hats and shoes eludes you? Its MFing glorious how well it does with shoes without flipping the toes up like court jester shoes and hats getting deformed from the tumbling in the washer.

[Trey3216 15346]

55 minutes ago, markstanco said:

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

The beauty of a dishwasher cleaning your hats and shoes eludes you? Its MFing glorious how well it does with shoes without flipping the toes up like court jester shoes and hats getting deformed from the tumbling in the washer.

Yep, just gotta turn off the dryer function on the dishwasher as it will damage the river in the shoes.  

[ztejas 43418]

1 hour ago, markstanco said:

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

The beauty of a dishwasher cleaning your hats and shoes eludes you? Its MFing glorious how well it does with shoes without flipping the toes up like court jester shoes and hats getting deformed from the tumbling in the washer.

No, the fact that you can't understand why your wife doesn't want your stank-ass insoles and hats in the dishwasher eludes me. If you came and put your insoles on the top rack of my dishwasher where I put drinking glasses I might gut you with a steak knife. People have been shot over less.

I have heard of washing hats in the dishwasher. But I dont think I've ever washed a hat and I was probably 15 the last time I put a pair of shoes in the washing machine (there is a pair of shoes I want to wash in this fashion though). I just buy new hats and shoes. Or if my shoes are dirty I clean them by hand. I will wear a pair of shoes out before I feel the need to put them in the washing machine or dishwasher. 

But it's been awhile since I trail ran regularly (or anything like that). If I did more often I would probably feel the need to give certain shoes an occasional deep clean. 

I digress.

[markstanco 12574]

So you disagree?

[Chewbacca 7773]

So you disagree?

Yeah, keep your stank shit out of the dishwasher.

[Both Tacos 1806]

For some retarded reason my wife doesn't like me washing my hats and shoes in the dishwasher. I honestly don't know why, it goes through a cycle like the washing machine with clean water at the end. She thinks it will make the dishes smell like hats and shoes.

Anyhow, I just got back from vacation and she and the boys are still out there in oregon till Saturday so my shit is getting washed.

I hope you sent that pic to your wife.

[markstanco 12574]

Actually I did.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

For some retarded reason my wife doesn't like me washing my hats and shoes in the dishwasher. I honestly don't know why, it goes through a cycle like the washing machine with clean water at the end. She thinks it will make the dishes smell like hats and shoes.

Anyhow, I just got back from vacation and she and the boys are still out there in oregon till Saturday so my shit is getting washed.

[mulletpelini 5210]

Stanco none of us do it because we (the real men here anyways) don't wear size 5 kids boots.  You think my fucking 13's are gonna fit in your little scrawny dishwasher? Puuuhhhlleeeze

[Guest Lobo]

^

Pos repping not because I also wear 13's (most brands, really I'm a 12.5...but half sizes usually stop at 11.5)...but because of the Seinfeld beer reference in another thread.  

People like to say they spit out their drink or laughed so loud, they woke the whole house up.  Maybe it's true, but I doubt it.  But that caught me so off guard and I laughed so loud at 5am that I think I really did wake my wife up and she's all the way upstairs.  Holy shit, I'm still laughing.  Have some more rep.  

[BrazilHorn 6586]

Is that your wife's hat? I like their beer but that hat looks to be from Revolver's women's line of accessories. NTTAWWT

[ABSR 5309]

5 hours ago, Lobo said:

^

Pos repping not because I also wear 13's (most brands, really I'm a 12.5...but half sizes usually stop at 11.5)...but because of the Seinfeld beer reference in another thread.  

People like to say they spit out their drink or laughed so loud, they woke the whole house up.  Maybe it's true, but I doubt it.  But that caught me so off guard and I laughed so loud at 5am that I think I really did wake my wife up and she's all the way upstairs.  Holy shit, I'm still laughing.  Have some more rep.  

This is a Randolph Duke version of "LOL".

[MissingInAction 25038]

Do you get mad when she uses the dishwasher to clean her pegging gear?

[Armybrat 40832]

Bob Stoops sneers at you wimps...

 

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Bob Stoops sneers at you wimps...

 

That's the load stanco ran after his hat and shoes. 

[markstanco 12574]

Stanco none of us do it because we (the real men here anyways) don't wear size 5 kids boots.  You think my fucking 13's are gonna fit in your little scrawny dishwasher? Puuuhhhlleeeze

12.5 shoes actually.

[markstanco 12574]

Is that your wife's hat? I like their beer but that hat looks to be from Revolver's women's line of accessories. NTTAWWT

My hat. Actually I have a large head, 7 1/2.

[Chewbacca 7773]

My hat. Actually I have a large head, 7 1/2.

7 1/2 being big is cute. Signed 7 3/4. I was a7 5/8 in high school and college. My head is doing a Barry Bonds.

[Modessit 5599]

What's up with all the mini-me's in here?

Signed,

Shoe size - 15
Hat size - 7-7/8

[52-80 19150]

at the grocery store, my wife has a system for arranging things in the shopping cart just-so.

and when we load shit from the cart to the check-out belt, they have to go on in such a particular order.

once the items are scanned, they must go back in the cart in a certain way (theres no teenage bagging service here), then we haul the cart over to the organizing shelf and do the final packing into bags however she deems is logical.

 

 

and none of this works in any consistent manner.  its not like a First On First Off system where you shave off time off each of those steps. 

No, each packing/loading phase have a different set of logic and rules.  And why the fuck bother with all of this shit, when it's all going to be reorganized in the last step anyway?!?!?!?

 

 

[Pato del Muerto 52489]

Organizing shelf?

i do try to help the bagger by putting like items together on the conveyor when it’s easy to do so. 

Edited July 30, 2020 by Pato del Muerto

[thunderlounge 7816]

44 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Organizing shelf?

i do try to help the bagger by putting like items together on the conveyor when it’s easy to do so. 

same here. big stuff, heavy stuff, meats, cans, etc. bread/eggs/fragile stuff last. 
 

but that takes milliseconds in my head as I pull shit out of the cart. 

[Jerry Callo 8700]

6 minutes ago, thunderlounge said:

same here. big stuff, heavy stuff, meats, cans, etc. bread/eggs/fragile stuff last. 
 

but that takes milliseconds in my head as I pull shit out of the cart. 

Veggies first (buys time for unloading while they are weighing), cold stuff, boxes and cans of food, drinks, sundries, eggs & bread. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21899]

What the fuck is an organizing shelf?  It sounds like something your wife found on pinterest

[deadshank 24652]

18 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

18 hours ago, markstanco said:

My hat. Actually I have a large head, 7 1/2.

7 1/2 being big is cute. Signed 7 3/4. I was a7 5/8 in high school and college. My head is doing a Barry Bonds.

User name checks out.

(I, too, have a  7 & 3/4 hat size so you're up with the all-time great titans of history)

[SHOOTER12 8800]

19 hours ago, markstanco said:

On 7/29/2020 at 1:32 AM, mulletpelini said:

Stanco none of us do it because we (the real men here anyways) don't wear size 5 kids boots.  You think my fucking 13's are gonna fit in your little scrawny dishwasher? Puuuhhhlleeeze

12.5 shoes actually.

Yeah, sounds like he's got a teeny tiny ass pussy dishwasher, unless he's talking about the shoes not fitting in his old lady (the dishwasher).

[Lone Star Horn 2016]

so, big hat size like this guy??

 

 

[SHOOTER12 8800]

Bunch of water headed aliens up in this bitch

[mulletpelini 5210]

My head is that size but I have all my teeth.

[G650 14249]

I'm 7 3/4 hat as well.

[52-80 19150]

2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Organizing shelf?

i do try to help the bagger by putting like items together on the conveyor when it’s easy to do so. 

At the end of the checkout aisles there's usually a bench/shelf thing where people sort or re-sort their groceries into trolleys and backpacks and whatever (for the ones who do public commute)

We try to bag our shit at the checkout as soon and they're scanned, but on big shopping days we can't keep pace with the checkout clerk, so we toss everything in the cart and then re-sort into bags later.

Except I can't just "toss" things into the cart because it needs to be meticulously choreographed....just so we can yank it all out 2 minutes later, after paying

 

 

[Trey3216 15346]

45 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

At the end of the checkout aisles there's usually a bench/shelf thing where people sort or re-sort their groceries into trolleys and backpacks and whatever (for the ones who do public commute)

We try to bag our shit at the checkout as soon and they're scanned, but on big shopping days we can't keep pace with the checkout clerk, so we toss everything in the cart and then re-sort into bags later.

Except I can't just "toss" things into the cart because it needs to be meticulously choreographed....just so we can yank it all out 2 minutes later, after paying

 

 

Fuck.  That.  Shit.  
 

I put the shit on the conveyor grouped so they can bag things together. 
 

Veggies

raw meats

refrigerated goods 

frozen

boxed

canned

bread/chips/fragile 

 

Every. Single. Time 

[Nivek 16923]

1 hour ago, mulletpelini said:

My head is that size but I have all my teeth.

all 5?

[ABSR 5309]

6 hours ago, 52-80 said:

at the grocery store, my wife has a system for arranging things in the shopping cart just-so.

and when we load shit from the cart to the check-out belt, they have to go on in such a particular order.

once the items are scanned, they must go back in the cart in a certain way (theres no teenage bagging service here), then we haul the cart over to the organizing shelf and do the final packing into bags however she deems is logical.

 

 

and none of this works in any consistent manner.  its not like a First On First Off system where you shave off time off each of those steps. 

No, each packing/loading phase have a different set of logic and rules.  And why the fuck bother with all of this shit, when it's all going to be reorganized in the last step anyway?!?!?!?

 

 

The real question is why are you grocery shopping together?  Are you newly weds?  Cut that shit out.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

If @ HEB, explain to your wife that if all the soft vegetable goods are scanned first, it actually helps the "I.P.M." count for the cashier.  I.E. "Items Per Minute", which is a metric that can boost performance stats for the checker.

A lot of those things need to be weighed & that slows down the IPM's... but if they start with veggies, they don't count against the IPM until the 1st "regular" grocery item comes through.  I usually try to assist the cashier by doing that.

 

[52-80 19150]

8 hours ago, ABSR said:

The real question is why are you grocery shopping together?  Are you newly weds?  Cut that shit out.

Look, you're asking questions with answers I don't like.....

[wd40 1976]

8 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

If @ HEB, explain to your wife that if all the soft vegetable goods are scanned first, it actually helps the "I.P.M." count for the cashier.  I.E. "Items Per Minute", which is a metric that can boost performance stats for the checker.

A lot of those things need to be weighed & that slows down the IPM's... but if they start with veggies, they don't count against the IPM until the 1st "regular" grocery item comes through.  I usually try to assist the cashier by doing that.

 

if you're at HEB and not barcode labeling your produce when you pick it, you're slowing things down for the checker and everyone behind you.  fuck metrics.

back in high school, we had to know all the produce codes (except maybe the real obscure shit).  nowadays, when I get stuck behind a dickhead like you, it's clear checkers are no longer trained that way.  they fiddle around with each produce bag to find the label on the fruit and then key it in.  incredibly slow and frustrating for all involved.  

then on the other end, the bagger (if he/she's worth a shit) gets to stand there with their thumb up their ass waiting for the cans and heavy stuff to come down before they can even start to do their job.  and then we all get to stand around and watch while this poor bastard finishes up, long after you've paid.

so congrats to you for knowing how to game the IPM thing.  pssst:  shit like that only matters to 'career' checkout clerks; but in the end, does it really?

grocery talk not going away.  sorry.  I got triggered.

9 hours ago, ABSR said:

The real question is why are you grocery shopping together?  Are you newly weds?  Cut that shit out.

fucking this.

[CycleTex87 2967]

grocery checkout line talk clearly not going away.