Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

  • Popular Post
Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
15 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

My wife must be trying to collect on my life insurance.  
 

I was installing a couple of dimmer switches earlier today and also needed to put in a new fan.  I had the corresponding breaker switches off for the dimmers and was just wrapping up.  I asked my wife to go flip off the breaker switch for the fan since she was heading to the garage.
 

I guess I wasn’t specific enough....and this is partially my fault for still working on the dimmers while she was flipping a breaker.  But she didn’t turn the fan off....she, instead, turned the breakers back to “on” and gave me a nice little jolt.  Nothing serious but a good pop.  She told me she thought I wanted them all “on”.   

90% of the wives on here can't even properly operate a light switch and you are directing yours to the electric box? 

  • Hook 'Em 5
  • Like 8
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

Posted
Posted
On 8/7/2020 at 2:24 PM, You don't know me said:

I get asked "Do you have my keys" a few times a week.  I must put off the vibe of "one who steals keys for which I have no use".

Dumbass, she's not asking if you have her keys, she's asking you to HELP HER FIND HER KEYS

On 8/8/2020 at 11:20 AM, Not a cat said:

Said every husband ever.

For all you guys having key problems, you ever thought about getting a tile locator fob for her keychain?  

Yeah, 3 years ago for Christmas.  She lost it, still in the package wrapped.  UPDATE:  Found it yesterday.

20 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

My wife must be trying to collect on my life insurance.  
 

I was installing a couple of dimmer switches earlier today and also needed to put in a new fan.  I had the corresponding breaker switches off for the dimmers and was just wrapping up.  I asked my wife to go flip off the breaker switch for the fan since she was heading to the garage.
 

I guess I wasn’t specific enough....and this is partially my fault for still working on the dimmers while she was flipping a breaker.  But she didn’t turn the fan off....she, instead, turned the breakers back to “on” and gave me a nice little jolt.  Nothing serious but a good pop.  She told me she thought I wanted them all “on”.   

pussy, it's always more exciting when things are live

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52504

Posted
Posted

Akin to the thermostat stuff:

wife: I’m going to put this bottle of wine in the freezer instead of the fridge so it cools down faster

me, inner monologue:  that makes no sense, woman. Prepare yourself for a lecture on thermodynamics!  Actually the rate of cooling would be the same ah this is pointless. 
me:  ok dear. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21907

Posted
Posted

I hope you didn’t study thermodynamics at UT. The freezer will chill a bottle of wine faster than the fridge, but an ice water bucket will chill it faster than either. It is a completely different situation than the thermostat on your AC. The AC thermostat does not control the temperature of the air coming out of your air ducts, merely at what inside temperature your AC will turn off.

  • Hook 'Em 4
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Akin to the thermostat stuff:

wife: I’m going to put this bottle of wine in the freezer instead of the fridge so it cools down faster

me, inner monologue:  that makes no sense, woman. Prepare yourself for a lecture on thermodynamics!  Actually the rate of cooling would be the same ah this is pointless. 
me:  ok dear. 

Yeah. You’re wrong. Q=mcdT

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52504

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I hope you didn’t study thermodynamics at UT. The freezer will chill a bottle of wine faster than the fridge, but an ice water bucket will chill it faster than either. It is a completely different situation than the thermostat on your AC. The AC thermostat does not control the temperature of the air coming out of your air ducts, merely at what inside temperature your AC will turn off.

Just CH353. I swear the dT is independent of the two temperatures and is a property of the material (glass bottle and aqueous solution) but I’ll look at the formula posted as a refresher. 
 

still not seeing how time is involved in q=mcdt and am still of the belief that m and c and dT are the same whether the bottle is in the fridge or freezer. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
Link to comment
Share on other sites
OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Just CH353. I swear the dT is independent of the two temperatures and is a property of the material (glass bottle and aqueous solution) but I’ll look at the formula posted as a refresher. 

I think you are confusing this with the other wife-ism of “if I lower the setting of the air conditioning it will Cool the house faster”.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2622

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Just CH353. I swear the dT is independent of the two temperatures and is a property of the material (glass bottle and aqueous solution) but I’ll look at the formula posted as a refresher. 
 

still not seeing how time is involved in q=mcdt and am still of the belief that m and c and dT are the same whether the bottle is in the fridge or freezer. 

Newton's law of cooling states that the rate of heat loss of a body is directly proportional to the difference in the temperatures between the body and its surroundings. (Source)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Eugene11

Eugene11 379

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Llogg said:

Newton's law of cooling states that the rate of heat loss of a body is directly proportional to the difference in the temperatures between the body and its surroundings. (Source)

Not starting shit here but did you read that entire link? Or do you know this thermodynamic stuff. I don’t. I read that very editable wiki link. And if true it actually says del Muerto might be correct. My inebriated self is siding with del Muerto based solely off wiki. and not off the fact I put beer in the freezer to cool faster ....and ice chest are even faster but duh on that fact. 
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9388

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I hope you didn’t study thermodynamics at UT. The freezer will chill a bottle of wine faster than the fridge, but an ice water bucket will chill it faster than either. It is a completely different situation than the thermostat on your AC. The AC thermostat does not control the temperature of the air coming out of your air ducts, merely at what inside temperature your AC will turn off.

Dump rock salt in that ice bucket. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2622

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Eugene11 said:

Not starting shit here but did you read that entire link? Or do you know this thermodynamic stuff. I don’t. I read that very editable wiki link. And if true it actually says del Muerto might be correct. My inebriated self is siding with del Muerto based solely off wiki. and not off the fact I put beer in the freezer to cool faster ....and ice chest are even faster but duh on that fact. 
 

You should read it again. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18829

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Just CH353. I swear the dT is independent of the two temperatures and is a property of the material (glass bottle and aqueous solution) but I’ll look at the formula posted as a refresher. 
 

still not seeing how time is involved in q=mcdt and am still of the belief that m and c and dT are the same whether the bottle is in the fridge or freezer. 

spacer.png

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26438

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Experimental data will support the argument that the freezer will be faster than he fridge.  For extra credit demonstrate why, under ideal circumstances, having the bottle of wine lay on its side in the freezer rather than standing up will cool it faster.

Because the air will circulate faster in a bottle on it's side because the air has less distance to travel.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2622

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Because the air will circulate faster in a bottle on it's side because the air has less distance to travel.

I can't imagine that's correct. Since heat  transfer is a function of surface area I don't think it should make much, if any, difference. If it does I can only guess it's due to the bottle being incompletely filled. The trapped air bubble will equilibrate faster than the liquid, so turning the bottle on it's side leads to a longer, shallower bubble, exposing more surface area of the liquid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21907

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, Llogg said:

I can't imagine that's correct. Since heat  transfer is a function of surface area I don't think it should make much, if any, difference. If it does I can only guess it's due to the bottle being incompletely filled. The trapped air bubble will equilibrate faster than the liquid, so turning the bottle on it's side leads to a longer, shallower bubble, exposing more surface area of the liquid.

It has to do with giving the convection currents more room to efficiently travel up and down in the bottle.  Under ideal circumstances it may reduce the time to chill a bottle of wine in the freezer from room temperature to serving temperature by a few minutes.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52504

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

How does one not know just from experience that you can chill a warm beverage faster in the freezer than in the refrigerator?

Maybe it’s a negligible difference. The two places are only around 8 degrees different. 
 

i do know from experience that you can chill a 6 pack of cans in about 5 seconds with a co2 fire extinguisher. 
 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
HoffaJimmy

HoffaJimmy 316

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

You can't make this shit up-

Over at one of my wife's friends on Saturday for a small gathering. Grilling out, beers, etc. Well my wife brought a dish that needed to be cooked in the oven. 

Wife's (single) friend- I preheated the oven to 200 degrees anything over that and it will burn

Me- What? 

WSF- Yeah, it's a new oven and anytime I cook anything over 200 it burns. I need to call the service guy back out

Me-WTF? Looking at the oven for 5 seconds.. I fixed your oven. 

WSF- OMG what did you do??????

Me- turned it from Celsius to Fahrenheit...............

So I asked her what the first thing she cooked was-

A frozen pizza: 425F she had the oven set to 800 Fucking degrees! 

WSF- No wonder everything was burning.

  • Hook 'Em 19
  • Like 12
  • Haha 14
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Fudbelty

Fudbelty 2788

Posted
Posted
You can't make this shit up-
Over at one of my wife's friends on Saturday for a small gathering. Grilling out, beers, etc. Well my wife brought a dish that needed to be cooked in the oven. 
Wife's (single) friend- I preheated the oven to 200 degrees anything over that and it will burn
Me- What? 
WSF- Yeah, it's a new oven and anytime I cook anything over 200 it burns. I need to call the service guy back out
Me-WTF? Looking at the oven for 5 seconds.. I fixed your oven. 
WSF- OMG what did you do??????
Me- turned it from Celsius to Fahrenheit...............
So I asked her what the first thing she cooked was-
A frozen pizza: 425F she had the oven set to 800 Fucking degrees! 
WSF- No wonder everything was burning.

You didn’t say “no pics” soooooo where are they?
  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36416

Posted
Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

When I was a kid my dad sold liquid nitrogen.  The tank in the back of his truck held several hundred gallons. I can’t think of many things my brother and I didn’t freeze. 

Sorry about your eunuch status, bro. I bet you drive a really big truck. 

Edited by nnm
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nineliveslost

nineliveslost 2760

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Maybe it’s a negligible difference. The two places are only around 8 degrees different. 
 

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?

 

from the googles

The ideal freezer temperature is 0 Fahrenheit (-18 Celsius) for all food storage

The optimal temperature range for the refrigerator is 34 to 40 degrees Fahrenheit to keep food safe yet unfrozen

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...