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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25189

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Posted
19 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Wife can't understand why I can't take out additional taxes so she can get 'her' money back.  I've explained thoroughly that I'm 1099, she doesn't get it.  Whole night worth of arguing about this and that and why.  Dammit man

I seriously hope you two aren't producing more idiots.

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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

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Posted (edited)

Don't know if I should post this here or in things that make you surly. 

 

My company rents instruments to middle school kids. Parents keep a CC on file and we charge it whenever the payment is due. Obviously, some of the cards expire, fraud, or closed for various reasons and the cards don't work. When it doesn't, we send an email asking them to call with a new card number.

Every conversation when I guy calls in:

Male Customer "Hi. I need to give you a new CC number."

Me "Okay, Do you know your account number (which is obviously on the email they got saying they needed call)"

MC "Yes, it's XXXXX"

Me " I'm ready for the card #"

Mc "It's XX-XX......."

 

When it's a femaile

FC "Hi. I got an email" Proceeds to read entire email back to me"

Me " Okay do you know your account #"

FC "No, but I can give you my last name"

...

Me "Okay, I found it. I'm ready for the CC # whenever you are."

FC "Let me go get the card our of my purse in the other room. Hang on a second"

 

 

Edited by Jameslaw121
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TTU13

TTU13 108

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I’ve been busy at work and did some work when I got home last night and told her I was going to sleep in a little bit today (til 8 am) then go to the office.

She woke me up at 6 asking if she could show me this furniture she found that was on sale and asked if we could talk about it when I woke up. I said sure whatever and then tossed and turned for the next 2 hours not really being able to go back to sleep.

When I finally got out of bed at 8 she told me about it, etc. I did 30 seconds of research, I found out it’s in store only and there’s not a store within 500 miles.

I fucking hate Instagram and Pinterest.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

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8 hours ago, TTU13 said:

I’ve been busy at work and did some work when I got home last night and told her I was going to sleep in a little bit today (til 8 am) then go to the office.

She woke me up at 6 asking if she could show me this furniture she found that was on sale and asked if we could talk about it when I woke up. I said sure whatever and then tossed and turned for the next 2 hours not really being able to go back to sleep.

When I finally got out of bed at 8 she told me about it, etc. I did 30 seconds of research, I found out it’s in store only and there’s not a store within 500 miles.

I fucking hate Instagram and Pinterest.

Yup. Most mornings my wife wakes up at about 5:30 - I get up about 7. I'm hoping one day she figured out that she can close the bathroom door, then turn on the blinding lights in our bathroom.....

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SquishMitten

SquishMitten 10435

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That cinnamon order reminded me of something. I told the story of my wife being an obnoxious American in Greece a few years back, but I don't think I ever told how she came home from that trip with about 10 lbs of spices. That was about 3 years ago, and she's probably used a total of 1 pinch of that shit.

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PantsTent

PantsTent 2002

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I hate when the box from Penzy shows up.  Case in point.  How many different kinds of over-priced cinnamon does one wife need?2722c9dabb943dc33dedc763cf29b7c8.jpg


People love cinnamon. It should be on tables at restaurants along with salt and pepper. Anytime anyone says, "Oh this is so good, what's in it?" The answer invariably comes back, "Cinnamon." "Cinnamon."
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LTbear

LTbear 4171

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On 6/14/2018 at 10:28 PM, TTU13 said:

I’ve been busy at work and did some work when I got home last night and told her I was going to sleep in a little bit today (til 8 am) then go to the office.

She woke me up at 6 asking if she could show me this furniture she found that was on sale and asked if we could talk about it when I woke up. I said sure whatever and then tossed and turned for the next 2 hours not really being able to go back to sleep.

When I finally got out of bed at 8 she told me about it, etc. I did 30 seconds of research, I found out it’s in store only and there’s not a store within 500 miles.

I fucking hate Instagram and Pinterest.

Why is your wife a dick

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Guest

Posted
Posted
On 6/14/2018 at 12:04 AM, d.plainview872 said:

I could never trust a woman with my money. 

I trust mine more than I trust myself with money. Well, maybe not in a shoe store, but on the big stuff. definitely. 

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Modessit

Modessit 5605

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Wife bugged me about wanting to go grocery shopping tonight instead of waiting until Monday. I was working so she decided to take the kids to McDs (about 6:30p) and then grocery shop. I told her to wait because she always takes forever to do the shopping even when just buying stuff for 3 meals (like this trip) and she shouldn't keep the kids out that late. She got mad at me ("No, I don't!!").

It's 10pm. Just got (another) call from the grocery store asking me a question about something.

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52604

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Is it too much to ask that when you decide to remove the bath towels from the bath area and throw them into the hamper, that you replace them with fresh towels or at least make sure that there are fresh towels in the linen closet?  And if there’s not, run a load of laundry before removing what’s there?

its not like we don’t have a dozen of them. 

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Modessit

Modessit 5605

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Sounds like you’ve had a nice little quiet Saturday night. What’s the issue again?
They got home at 11pm. Apparently there was a "banana issue" on the way home when my wife gave a still-green banana to the kids but they didn't like it so spit banana out inside the car. Then my wife gave them her water bottle for a drink and they spilled it all over the back seat.

But the main reason I wanted them home earlier was so the kids (and my wife) could go to bed earlier. Had to wake them up this morning so we could go eat breakfast/lunch and get back home in time to watch the game at 1p.
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XYZ

XYZ 2154

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5 minutes ago, luke duke said:

My wife just came inside to tell me that my air compressor was broken because it wouldn’t inflate her bike tire. This is what I found when I went out to the garage.

350e936f37858992a60a8167acdacb84.jpg

What’s the problem with that picture?

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52-80

52-80 19252

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Posted
On 6/6/2018 at 2:31 AM, BearCountry11 said:

This hits close to home.  Or when I’m about to close my eyes to go to sleep that is the perfect time to plan our trip in 4 months.  

Worse....the perfect time to plan our trip for which we've already got airfare is....never.  

 

And then when something unpleasant occurs during the trip "it's your fault this is your trip you planned it without me blah blah blah"

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