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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

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ROFL BOX

ROFL BOX 6649

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Is my wife the only one who starts a load of clothes in the washer and then forgets to move them to the dryer?

Is your wife the only one who doesn't do much of anything after getting home from work & then starts a load maybe 30 minutes before she goes to sleep & expects you to stay up long enough to make certain they get completely dry & taken out, then laid in a "non-wrinkly" fashion?

3 hours ago, miguelito said:

It turns out wrinkle-free clothes can indeed wrinkle if you leave them in the dryer for a few days. 

It also turns out clothes will apparently not wrinkle while sitting in the dryer for a day or two, but if you take them OUT of the dryer & don't lay them out in a "non-wrinkly" fashion, that apparently makes them wrinkle.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
Is my wife the only one who starts a load of clothes in the washer and then forgets to move them to the dryer?

90% chance my wife will either forget about a wet load in the washer which results in a re-wash or puts the load in the dryer and forgets to turn it on.

8% chance she’ll complete load successfully and with my help to tell her she has a load in the washer that needs to be hung or transferred to dryer

2% chance she does full cycle with zero hiccups
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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

A while back the wife prepaid for a years worth of probiotics where they mail you a new bottle every two weeks. I told her not to, but it was such a good deal. Guess what I just found...

054fb21ebf356956b6b242a7f57f28db.jpg

I like how they were hidden in a box similar to me as a kid when I shit my underwear.

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ztejas

ztejas 43419

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

A while back the wife prepaid for a years worth of probiotics where they mail you a new bottle every two weeks. I told her not to, but it was such a good deal. Guess what I just found...

054fb21ebf356956b6b242a7f57f28db.jpg

You looking to get rid of those? I take probiotics. 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8805

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

A while back the wife prepaid for a years worth of probiotics where they mail you a new bottle every two weeks. I told her not to, but it was such a good deal. Guess what I just found...

054fb21ebf356956b6b242a7f57f28db.jpg

Well that they are much better than the amateurbiotics...

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ROFL BOX

ROFL BOX 6649

Posted
Posted

Doing a roof with associated work for a friend, job is in Georgetown (in addition to the roof, it has a chimney rebuild w/ fiber cement, remove fascia & add new fiber cement).

 

Start date for 6 days from now had been communicated w/ crew.

 

For some reason, the guys started the siding portions today.

 

Same guys that did the roof for[mention=436]Felix[/mention] around 1 month ago.

 

Anyhow...

 

I added the [ 1. 2. ] for Shag² viewers, the other stuff is what I scribbled on screenshots I sent to her.

 

Can y'all guess why my last response was in quotes?

 

 

f94bd2b7fc0a77bc3bbe9d4d2fe51481.jpg

 

 

08290869a34e8f2ed829a58bb2b5bdf4.jpg

 

 

0a9ac4b89c7a4a699a47b956e98b25a4.jpg

 

 

d108e58d30ae9c2de1f4df3e0e853528.jpg

 

 

3d20f54e3a49e7d37d22ac355d60fa16.jpg

 

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8700

Posted
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2 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

I still haven’t told her I found her stash.  Thinking I might keep it in my back pocket until she tries to sell me on her next “great deal”.

Bold move.  You know those probiotics are still set on an automatic 2 week delivery and autopay, right?

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4990

Posted
Posted
38 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Bold move.  You know those probiotics are still set on an automatic 2 week delivery and autopay, right?

She told me she prepaid for it up front, but it’s on her credit card so not much I can do there.  But yeah I bet it’s on autopay because why wouldn’t it be.

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Mudcat35

Mudcat35 196

Posted
Posted
19 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Is my wife the only one who starts a load of clothes in the washer and then forgets to move them to the dryer?

I can top that.  My wife routinely loads the washer, puts in the soap, leaves the lid open, and walks away.  I usually start the load when I go in to check to see if it's ready for the dryer.

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Mach 1

Mach 1 1677

Posted
Posted

Recent text exchange:

Wife:  Grades come out today can you look online please

Me: Will do.

Wife:  He better have gotten all As and Bs.  Tell him I'm serious about this stuff.

A few hours pass, grades finally come online.

Me:  All As and Bs

Wife:  What were the Bs? He's slacking.

Me:  Relax, he's fine.  FYI he said you're on his back too much and need to trust him.

Wife: What?  What did you say to him?

Me: Scroll up.  I did what you asked me to.

Wife:  Remember last week when I asked you to be point person on grades so I'm not the bad guy!

Me.

giphy.gif

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UT_OB1

UT_OB1 2218

Posted
Posted (edited)
23 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Bold move.  You know those probiotics are still set on an automatic 2 week delivery and autopay, right?

 

22 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

She told me she prepaid for it up front, but it’s on her credit card so not much I can do there.  But yeah I bet it’s on autopay because why wouldn’t it be.

Don't forget it is also set to auto renew every year.  You're going to look back 10 years from now and realize you could have retired much sooner.  

 

Edit - and to add my own fun, I just found trashed 3 unopened bottles of parmesan cheese last night.  This after about 10 other bottles a couple of days ago.  I'm not sure if these were essential items for a hurricane or for the covid apocalypse.  We do at least have plenty of room in the pantry for the next crisis (several large trash bags for yard work were filled and disposed of).

Edited by UT_OB1
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NAVY

NAVY 6740

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, UT_OB1 said:

 

Don't forget it is also set to auto renew every year.  You're going to look back 10 years from now and realize you could have retired much sooner.  

 

Edit - and to add my own fun, I just found trashed 3 unopened bottles of parmesan cheese last night.  This after about 10 other bottles a couple of days ago.  I'm not sure if these were essential items for a hurricane or for the covid apocalypse.  We do at least have plenty of room in the pantry for the next crisis (several large trash bags for yard work were filled and disposed of).

Wife buys lots of shit we already have to mask all the wine she’s really at HEB for 

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General Specific

General Specific 3257

Posted
Posted

90% chance my wife will either forget about a wet load in the washer which results in a re-wash or puts the load in the dryer and forgets to turn it on.

8% chance she’ll complete load successfully and with my help to tell her she has a load in the washer that needs to be hung or transferred to dryer

2% chance she does full cycle with zero hiccups

There’s a 100% I complete my load joke in here somewhere...
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