Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

G650

G650 14107

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I'd take it. An awesome, close mother in law is the key to life. Pretty sure after the the age of 30 I'd rather be closer to in laws and parents rather than opposite sides of the country or state. Fuck that noise

 

 

1.1 might be too close, but it makes for one close baby sitter if you need one. My MIL can be at our house in 45 min.

Yessir.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

FriendofaFriend

FriendofaFriend 93

Posted
Posted

Anyone else's wife spend $600 on family Christmas cards? Here is the breakdown:

$275 sitting fee for photographer

$40x3 for new outfits for each kid (low-balling here)

$100 for a new dress for her (probably a low ball)

$100+ to print and mail them all out (mostly to family who we don't like and who are total pain in the asses to deal with)

I will not buy any new clothing but there is a high probability that she will buy some hideous shirt for me to match the rest of them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8666

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, FriendofaFriend said:

Anyone else's wife spend $600 on family Christmas cards? Here is the breakdown:

$275 sitting fee for photographer

$40x3 for new outfits for each kid (low-balling here)

$100 for a new dress for her (probably a low ball)

$100+ to print and mail them all out (mostly to family who we don't like and who are total pain in the asses to deal with)

I will not buy any new clothing but there is a high probability that she will buy some hideous shirt for me to match the rest of them.

No way.  My wife fines 3-4 photos on the computer that were taken within the past year - 1 of each child, sometimes a family photo, and usually one of the damn dog.  Uses some Walgreens app to make a picture postcard and then mails them out.  Probably costs about $30.  Most often it turns out being a New Years card, but that's a different story.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11682

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, FriendofaFriend said:

Anyone else's wife spend $600 on family Christmas cards? Here is the breakdown:

$275 sitting fee for photographer

$40x3 for new outfits for each kid (low-balling here)

$100 for a new dress for her (probably a low ball)

$100+ to print and mail them all out (mostly to family who we don't like and who are total pain in the asses to deal with)

I will not buy any new clothing but there is a high probability that she will buy some hideous shirt for me to match the rest of them.

must be nice being one of the shaggy 1%

 

since you can easily afford that maybe you should offer to buy the next 3 months of server rack fees for the site?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21781

Posted
Posted
Anyone else's wife spend $600 on family Christmas cards? Here is the breakdown:
$275 sitting fee for photographer
$40x3 for new outfits for each kid (low-balling here)
$100 for a new dress for her (probably a low ball)
$100+ to print and mail them all out (mostly to family who we don't like and who are total pain in the asses to deal with)
I will not buy any new clothing but there is a high probability that she will buy some hideous shirt for me to match the rest of them.

Tell your wife thanks for the card she sent me last year
d1e7f9fb5ea94f0d405b5ac6eee656cf.jpg
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
FriendofaFriend

FriendofaFriend 93

Posted
Posted
31 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

No way.  My wife fines 3-4 photos on the computer that were taken within the past year - 1 of each child, sometimes a family photo, and usually one of the damn dog.  Uses some Walgreens app to make a picture postcard and then mails them out.  Probably costs about $30.  Most often it turns out being a New Years card, but that's a different story.

I'll trade you too

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54003

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Sandman said:

I can't complain, my MIL is great. Minds her own business, doesn't try to tell me how to run my household, keeps my wife busy. Also available if I need anyone to handle something at my house when we aren't home, like pick up the mail or meet a delivery guy. Win-win IMO.

Do you also have a pet unicorn?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54003

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

The ability of a woman to talk to her mother for lengths of time, without taking a breath, is amazing.  I remember once years ago, at my in-laws' house, my wife and her mother were discussing something, and it reminded me of a relevant fact/piece of info that I needed to share with them.  So, I told myself that as soon as there was a gap in their conversation, I would bring it up.

Eventually, I said to them "47 minutes."  They looked at me, puzzled.  I said "I've been waiting 47 minutes for there to be ANY pause in your conversation so I could tell you something.  That's incredible."  Then I told them whatever it was.

Holy fuck, how can you talk like that, and for that long?  About anything?  With ANYONE?

My wife and her mother will sit and talk for hours about something that they completely agree about.  They'll each make points on the subject over and over and over that they both agree with.  These points tend to be so completely obvious that they'll repeatedly finish each other's sentence.

It's fucking painful to watch/listen to.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52342

Posted
Posted
On 8/7/2018 at 7:08 AM, 52-80 said:

My wife gets tricked into buying all these premium dog food and treats that literally cost more than what it costs to feed humans.  I'm talking about salmon jerky that costs 30$/lb or whatever.  

"Look at the price, I'll buy the made-for-human version and feed [our dog] that"

"No but this one is engineered for dogs!"

 

Or when the "premium" kibbles is 10$/lb and its 40% protein , 35% of which is probably fucking scrap pork feet and intestines.

"Why don't we get just actual beef chuck and chicken breasts and feed her that"

"But it's not nutritionally balanced and lacking vitamins"

 

Yo... i can toss some fucking carrots, peas, and a Centrum Silver in the doggie bowl if you want......and it'll taste 100x better to the dog

My dogs eat a mixture of rice, ground turkey, pumpkin purée, and cottage cheeese. 

Used to make treats from peanut butter, molasses, and oatmeal but haven’t done that in a long time. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52342

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

My dogs eat a mixture of rice, ground turkey, pumpkin purée, and cottage cheeese. 

Used to make treats from peanut butter, molasses, and oatmeal but haven’t done that in a long time. 

oh, and then they’ll go out back and eat their own shit like it’s brownie bites. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jack

Jack 51

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

what even happened to buying a 1/2 ton bag of Ol' Roy and feeding the dog that?  Are dogs now living 3x as long as before thanks to all the farm-to-bowl chef prepared meals?

 

Dogs are eating healthier in general but this chef prepared meals  deal is overkill.  That's just people being idiots and thinking their dogs are people too. 

I had a "free spirit" neighbor that lost 2 poodles over a 6 month period and both died of parvo.  Those were pretty expensive dogs and she didn't want to vaccinate them for the same reason she didn't want to vaccinate her kids.  When she lost the 2nd one I ripped into her for basically killing a 2nd dog for something that was easily treatable.  Your dog isn't going to autism you dumb fuck.

  • Like 4
  • Haha 2
  • Fuck You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jack

Jack 51

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Do any of you have a wife/gf who brings several bags of shit with them to work every day. I see women walking into work with enough luggage for a week long trip.

Every damn day. Wtf is in those bags? I must know.

Dildos.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brisketexan

Brisketexan 104628

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Jack said:

 

Dogs are eating healthier in general but this chef prepared meals  deal is overkill.  That's just people being idiots and thinking their dogs are people too. 

I had a "free spirit" neighbor that lost 2 poodles over a 6 month period and both died of parvo.  Those were pretty expensive dogs and she didn't want to vaccinate them for the same reason she didn't want to vaccinate her kids.  When she lost the 2nd one I ripped into her for basically killing a 2nd dog for something that was easily treatable.  Your dog isn't going to autism you dumb fuck.

I dunno.  Ever see an autistic dog?

I mean, I haven't.

But I bet it's pretty sad and shit.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17391

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Do any of you have a wife/gf who brings several bags of shit with them to work every day. I see women walking into work with enough luggage for a week long trip.

Every damn day. Wtf is in those bags? I must know.

I see a few in my office that routinely carry in 4 bags.  One with laptop/work stuff, one purse (i.e. Black Hole of Calcutta), one lunch/snack bag and one bag with workout clothes.

 

Edited by TrashMaster G
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Modessit

Modessit 5596

Posted
Posted
Do any of you have a wife/gf who brings several bags of shit with them to work every day. I see women walking into work with enough luggage for a week long trip.
Every damn day. Wtf is in those bags? I must know.
My wife takes 3 bags to school every day - one computer bag that also has files and pens and stuff, one lunch bag, and one with various project stuff like laminated stuff that needs to be cut apart, things that need velcro added to the back, etc. The project bag often comes home and sits there until she goes back the next morning. I've asked why she bothers bringing it home, or if she is why not leave it in the car. I've yet to get a reasoned response.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
hullabelew

hullabelew 3705

Posted
Posted
My wife takes 3 bags to school every day - one computer bag that also has files and pens and stuff, one lunch bag, and one with various project stuff like laminated stuff that needs to be cut apart, things that need velcro added to the back, etc. The project bag often comes home and sits there until she goes back the next morning. I've asked why she bothers bringing it home, or if she is why not leave it in the car. I've yet to get a reasoned response.
My wife and I used to ride to work together. 3 fucking bags. No computer. Took her 10 minutes to get out of the car. Drive me nuts.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Incredulity

Incredulity 11555

Posted
Posted

I grew up with a beagle that had to be “on the spectrum”.  That fucker would chase tennis balls till my arm gave out.  We buried chicken wire 2 feet deep around entire backyard and that dumb fucker would still dig out.  I swear I spent half or my summers between 4th, 5th and 6th grade chasing that thing for miles.  Thankfully my younger brother got old enough to share the pain.  Don’t have a dog to this day because of the experience.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brisketexan

Brisketexan 104628

Posted
Posted

My wife takes several minutes to get out of the car even if she only has a purse. Crazy.

This. I’m out of the car, halfway to the store, post office, whatever, and I can’t lock the doors, because she’s still sitting in there. We got to our destination. Get out of the car. Close the door. Lock it. For fuck’s sake.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

Posted
Posted
On 8/3/2018 at 10:40 PM, Brisketexan said:

Got in a mild fight with the wife tonight. She says “you’ll never guess who we ran into at the store - couple X [who don’t live anywhere near us].” Which prompts me to ask “weird - what store were you at?”

 

“Well, your daughter had just given blood - her iron count was 45!” Ok, I don’t know what that means? Is that good? “It’s crazy high! Mine is never above 40! So, after giving blood, we’re getting a burger. She wanted a burger.”

 

And then I make the mistake of saying “ok...I asked where you ran into them...and I still have no idea where you were.”

 

I got the cranky “well, it was a funny story, but nevermind.”

 

I still don’t know the rest of the story. I’m good with that.

 

Wait... your daughter has a super high iron count and she went and got her a burger after she found out???

Link to comment
Share on other sites
elfenix

elfenix 34172

Posted
Posted
41 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

I grew up with a beagle that had to be “on the spectrum”.  That fucker would chase tennis balls till my arm gave out.  We buried chicken wire 2 feet deep around entire backyard and that dumb fucker would still dig out.  I swear I spent half or my summers between 4th, 5th and 6th grade chasing that thing for miles.  Thankfully my younger brother got old enough to share the pain.  Don’t have a dog to this day because of the experience.

and that spectrum was "dog."

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sandman

Sandman 3402

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

I see a few in my office that routinely carry in 4 bags.  One with laptop/work stuff, one purse (i.e. Black Hole of Calcutta), one lunch/snack bag and one bag with workout clothes.

 

You mean "walk around with a bottle of water in one hand while talking on the phone" clothes, right?

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54003

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Not my wife, but in the same vein as the "women talk too much":

Was running our local track last night and this lady was walking/ talking on her phone for the entire time. I believe she worked out her mouth 10x over the rest of  her.

I will bet money she was walking in the inside lane.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...