Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[SilasCoade 2,622]

2 hours ago, markstanco said:

You serious too? 

I also am serious. I don't get the point of your story.

[Modessit 5,598]

I also am serious. I don't get the point of your story.

The game was yesterday and she asked today? I dunno.

[Sam Lin 3,550]

She called instead of sending a fax?

[Buzzrock 14,902]

I love when she digs her own hole and then tries to pull passive aggressive crap like “I don’t expect you to help me with this anyway!”

Me: “Great!“ /goestowatchfootball

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

Do you have any idea what your new Apple ID password is?

xxxxxxxxxxx1

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

xxxxxxxxxxx1

[nnm 36,347]

10 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

xxxxxxxxxxx1

Xxxxxxxx1!

[markstanco 12,571]

On 9/10/2022 at 2:59 PM, Llogg said:

I also am serious. I don't get the point of your story.

The school has numerous sources of water and gatorade already on the sidelines. 

[BHMCruiser 1,813]

terrible story

would not reread

[After irth 1,243]

6 hours ago, markstanco said:

The school has numerous sources of water and gatorade already on the sidelines. 

Now see…that is pertinent info that would’ve been helpful. How the hell are us 1%ers supposed to know what happens on public school sidelines?  Now…I’m, frankly, quite annoyed that my tax dollars are being pissed away on copious Gatorade purchases. 
 

Thanks a lot, man…
 

I mean…really!!

[Celery Man 20,931]

Ok sanity check/information gathering - you crack an egg, what do you do with the shell?

[JSB 677]

Trash can

[Modessit 5,598]

Ok sanity check/information gathering - you crack an egg, what do you do with the shell?

My mom would save it for her plants.

[Kennythetiger 9,375]

Front yard. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,775]

2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Ok sanity check/information gathering - you crack an egg, what do you do with the shell?

 

2 hours ago, JSB said:

Trash can

The more eggs the better. I love the sound of egg shells landing on egg shells.

I’ve heard that some people use them when brewing coffee but I’ve never seen it done. Seems to me that the coffee brewing process is just fine as it is. 

[TKthunder2 4,985]

2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Ok sanity check/information gathering - you crack an egg, what do you do with the shell?

Let me guess…

[SHOOTER12 8,800]

2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Ok sanity check/information gathering - you crack an egg, what do you do with the shell?

Shove it up the wifes ass with a hoe handle. 

Can you tell I'm pissed at the hag?

[Kennythetiger 9,375]

Well, the honeymoon’s over at the Shooter Household. 

[Celery Man 20,931]

41 minutes ago, TKthunder2 said:

Let me guess…

 

Not the end of the world but it's kinda gross and also a bit irritating to... estimate incorrectly how many eggs we have left from a quick peak in the box. But really just irritating to me because why are we doing this?

I've always just thrown them in the trash, wife is just doing this because it's what she's always done but she thinks the reasoning is that the egg shells would stink. However I take out the trash every night. Wife is often eager to make changes from what her family does (because her parents are brokedick morons who couldn't even be bothered to feed her) but she saw my sister doing this as well. Betcha anything my sister is putting them shits in her garden.

[nnm 36,347]

54 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Shove it up the wifes ass with a hoe handle. 

Can you tell I'm pissed at the hag?

/anchormanthatescalatedquickly.gif/

[UT_OB1 2,217]

3 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

 

The more eggs the better. I love the sound of egg shells landing on egg shells.

I’ve heard that some people use them when brewing coffee but I’ve never seen it done. Seems to me that the coffee brewing process is just fine as it is. 

My grandpa used to make coffee in a pot on the stove at his log cabin. He said eggshells helped with the bitterness that was due to leaving the grounds in the liquid 

[nnm 36,347]

5 hours ago, UT_OB1 said:

My grandpa used to make coffee in a pot on the stove at his log cabin. He said eggshells helped with the bitterness that was due to leaving the grounds in the liquid 

My dad called that “Army Coffee.”  Eggshells couldn’t hurt it. Nothing could. 

[burntorangebongos 10,710]

my niece does the eggshell thing. I thought it was to prevent me from stealing one or two. Yuk, it worked. People do this? why?

[Trey3216 15,343]

Saw some poor bastard's wife drive all the way from Hewitt into downtown Waco this morning in her brand new Land Rover with the back hatch bouncing around like Tigger.  

Dropped my oldest off at daycare, then see her again headed towards I-35 with the thing still open and everyone on the street and all the cars around her trying to get her attention.  She must've been listening to a podcast (reading Facebook on her phone) while not paying attention.  

[UT_OB1 2,217]

4 hours ago, nnm said:

My dad called that “Army Coffee.”  Eggshells couldn’t hurt it. Nothing could. 

I need to find out more from my dad or great aunts about what he did and when. I generally know he was a medic, but for what service and where I don’t know. 

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

1 hour ago, Trey3216 said:

Saw some poor bastard's wife drive all the way from Hewitt into downtown Waco this morning in her brand new Land Rover with the back hatch bouncing around like Tigger.  

Dropped my oldest off at daycare, then see her again headed towards I-35 with the thing still open and everyone on the street and all the cars around her trying to get her attention.  She must've been listening to a podcast (reading Facebook on her phone) while not paying attention.  

Someone's wife tonight: "I have no idea how the hatch broke. Weren't you messing with it the other day?"

[Trey3216 15,343]

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Someone's wife tonight: "I have no idea how the hatch broke. Weren't you messing with it the other day?"

"I have no idea how all the stuff got stolen out of the car, I locked it when I got out to return my shoes"  

[Frank The Tank 1,496]

12 hours ago, Celery Man said:

However I take out the trash every night.

You take out the trash EVERY night? Why? How much trash do y’all generate in a day? If it’s not even close to full it seems like an awful waste of trash bags. 

[Kennythetiger 9,375]

50 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Someone's wife tonight: "I have no idea how the hatch broke. Weren't you messing with it the other day?"

Mine wouldn’t say a word. 

[Celery Man 20,931]

57 minutes ago, Frank The Tank said:

You take out the trash EVERY night? Why? How much trash do y’all generate in a day? If it’s not even close to full it seems like an awful waste of trash bags. 

We could do better on trash, but I could probably go every other day or 2/3 days. All trash winds up in the tall kitchen bag downstairs, we do cook at least 1 fairly intense meal a day (dinner) which both contributes to it and is part of why I just take it out every day. If i was in control we wouldn't use paper towels, we'd compost kitchen waste, and we'd sure as fuck break things down and recycle small boxes (and not recycle fucking non recyclable plastic!) and we'd probably take out the kitchen trash a few times a week. In that world this would be a much shorter thread. I don't like the waste of single use plastic but trash bags are 8 cents, I just take it out every night. I feel like toddler shit doesn't help either. Honestly that's another reason at the moment why I don't want a full trash can.

[royiv 9,247]

16 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Honestly that's another reason at the moment why I don't want a full trash can.

Used rubbers from your wife's side hustle?

[HenryJames 66,035]

15 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Let me guess…

Judging from the pic she also doesn't know how to consume alcohol properly.

[Sandman 3,403]

I put eggshells down the garbage disposal because I heard it helps keep the blades sharp. Dunno if that's true but it makes a satisfying noise when it destroys those shells, so I'm gonna keep doing it.

[General Specific 3,253]

Saw some poor bastard's wife drive all the way from Hewitt into downtown Waco this morning in her brand new Land Rover with the back hatch bouncing around like Tigger.  
Dropped my oldest off at daycare, then see her again headed towards I-35 with the thing still open and everyone on the street and all the cars around her trying to get her attention.  She must've been listening to a podcast (reading Facebook on her phone) while not paying attention.  

Maybe she’s just a back hatch kind of lady!

[GhostRider 169]

2 hours ago, Sandman said:

I put eggshells down the garbage disposal because I heard it helps keep the blades sharp. Dunno if that's true but it makes a satisfying noise when it destroys those shells, so I'm gonna keep doing it.

It doesn't sharpen the blades, but eventually it will clog your drain pipe.  Good luck with that.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4,975]

7 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Saw some poor bastard's wife drive all the way from Hewitt into downtown Waco this morning in her brand new Land Rover with the back hatch bouncing around like Tigger.  

Dropped my oldest off at daycare, then see her again headed towards I-35 with the thing still open and everyone on the street and all the cars around her trying to get her attention.  She must've been listening to a podcast (reading Facebook on her phone) while not paying attention.  

The garage door probably closed it for her when she got home.

4 hours ago, Celery Man said:

We could do better on trash, but I could probably go every other day or 2/3 days. All trash winds up in the tall kitchen bag downstairs, we do cook at least 1 fairly intense meal a day (dinner) which both contributes to it and is part of why I just take it out every day. If i was in control we wouldn't use paper towels, we'd compost kitchen waste, and we'd sure as fuck break things down and recycle small boxes (and not recycle fucking non recyclable plastic!) and we'd probably take out the kitchen trash a few times a week. In that world this would be a much shorter thread. I don't like the waste of single use plastic but trash bags are 8 cents, I just take it out every night. I feel like toddler shit doesn't help either. Honestly that's another reason at the moment why I don't want a full trash can.

For the toddler diapers, stick them in a plastic grocery bag, tie it off, and toss them directly in the outdoor trash can. The grocery bag is basically free, keeps them from smelling up your trash can inside, and keeps flies from getting to them in the outside trash.

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

6 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

 

For the toddler diapers, stick them in a plastic grocery bag, tie it off, and toss them directly in the outdoor trash can. The grocery bag is basically free, keeps them from smelling up your trash can inside, and keeps flies from getting to them in the outside trash.

Tell me you don't live in Austin without telling me that you don't live in Austin.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4,975]

If you are in Austin, just grab a bunch of dog poop bags from the park. 

[Trey3216 15,343]

2 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

If you are in Austin, just grab a bunch of dog poop bags from the park. 

Or take them and dump all the shit in a singular bag and then drop the bag off at any overpass south of 38 1/2 street 

[SquishMitten 10,403]

The school has numerous sources of water and gatorade already on the sidelines. 

You let your kids drink public water?

[SquishMitten 10,403]

Let me guess…

Meh. I do this. BUT I’m the only one who ever cooks, AND when I’m done with the whole carton it goes to the compost. I ain’t walking all the way out to the pile every morning with a handful of shells, and the indoor compost containers attract too many fruit flies during certain seasons.

[NorthLoop 14,181]

2 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Meh. I do this. BUT I’m the only one who ever cooks, AND when I’m done with the whole carton it goes to the compost. I ain’t walking all the way out to the pile every morning with a handful of shells, and the indoor compost containers attract too many fruit flies during certain seasons.

Maybe try putting a lid on your compost container 

[Wiler77 1,566]

We give our eggshells to the chickens.  Struck me as a bit cannibalistic when my wife started doing it, but apparently it gives them calcium they need for strong eggs.

[Kennythetiger 9,375]

Just now, Wiler77 said:

We give our eggshells to the chickens.  Struck me as a bit cannibalistic when my wife started doing it, but apparently it gives them calcium they need for strong eggs.

My mom used to do the same thing. We would buy and feed them oyster shells too. 

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4,975]

They would probably eat the egg shells anyways if they were eggs that hatched.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

Chickens are fucking savages.

[Sandman 3,403]

15 hours ago, Wiler77 said:

but apparently it gives them calcium they need for strong eggs

Wouldn't that make the eggs that much harder to crack open? Pretty soon, you'll need a hammer just to make an omelette. 

[justhookit 4,191]

18 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Meh. I do this. BUT I’m the only one who ever cooks, AND when I’m done with the whole carton it goes to the compost. I ain’t walking all the way out to the pile every morning with a handful of shells, and the indoor compost containers attract too many fruit flies during certain seasons.

Great. How does your husband feel about that?

[Celery Man 20,931]

20 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Meh. I do this. BUT I’m the only one who ever cooks, AND when I’m done with the whole carton it goes to the compost. I ain’t walking all the way out to the pile every morning with a handful of shells, and the indoor compost containers attract too many fruit flies during certain seasons.

This is not gross or inconvenient enough to be annoying at all to me if there is some purpose. I'm going to start chucking these bitches in the garden every day.

[Armybrat 40,822]

Eggshell talk not going away.