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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

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Zepol87

Zepol87 9188

Posted
Posted
On 12/10/2022 at 9:59 AM, ABSR said:

Address?  Did you tell her “It is the one across from that place where you ate that time, but the meal was okay, but not great and the hostess seemed like a bitch (Hot, tight dress),  and her friends boyfriend once ate there and he really liked his meal, but her friend thought he shouldn’t have ordered it because it is not something she thinks he likes.  But that dessert place, but not the cupcake one, is near it….but a few miles away, but not that far.”

You know, directions she can understand?

God damn I had a similar conversation earlier. 

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52-80

52-80 19188

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, rage-a-holic said:

I wish

"if the fan is on, it makes the room cold" - doesn't matter where it's pointed

"the fan is too loud" - it isn't at all

"ear plugs give me ear infections" - no they don't

Did you marry a korean

fandeath.jpg

https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2015/08/09/430341089/south-koreas-quirky-notions-about-electric-fans

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BearMace

BearMace 2206

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, huge said:

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

I prefer this thread when it's cheeky and fun. That's just insane.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17568

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, huge said:

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

I couldn't love a woman who didn't like ceiling fans.

At least not for more than 15 minutes or so.

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Snake Diggity

Snake Diggity 4625

Posted
Posted
22 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Did you marry a korean

fandeath.jpg

https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2015/08/09/430341089/south-koreas-quirky-notions-about-electric-fans

I did.  Random, nonsensical superstitions are always popping up.  Vacuuming at night is bad luck, whatever you do on New Year's Day is what you will do all year (I win on this one, as she always makes sure we fuck on 1/1), etc.  She's cool with fans tho.

 

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52-80

52-80 19188

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, huge said:

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

Might do the same on our new house. Ceiling fans are exceptionally rare here. 
 

Material for Things That Make You Surly but unbalanced fans are like the derel - the absolute worst 

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52-80

52-80 19188

Posted
Posted

There are certain random tasks that my wife just inexplicably blackholes out of her memory/scope, for no reasons that are comprehensible to me or probably anyone else. 

She has a mobile data subscription we use as a hotspot on a spare phone. Every few months the provider sends threatening SMS that the bill is overdue, and that service will be shut off in 1, 2, 3 weeks, etc. 

I remind wife and its always “stop telling me. im really busy. its on my list”.

Paying this thing is fully electronic and takes literally all of 3 minutes to do.  
 

The subscription is also fully work-expensable. Employer gave a deadline of Nov 30 for the year’s claim - and I remind her in the leading days and again its “i already know - quit bothering me with that”.  This one maybe takes 10 minutes to complete  

December 1 rolls around and what happens? “Oh shit, I forgot to expense the stupid phone thing”.  $600 down the toilet.

Its ‘her’ money and its not that much in the scheme of things. What I dont understand is how or why its such a touchy, standoffish subject, that she refuses to deal with herself but also wont allow me to handle instead.

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Hmbre97

Hmbre97 6319

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 12/14/2022 at 7:29 AM, burntorangebongos said:
Wow, if I had a reminder app like you that would help me do the process to pay my subscription, I would be overjoyed. She either thinks that you are a nag and wants to tune you out or she is an ungrateful bitch. Don't waste your time trying to help her with this. Just stop. 

I tried the hands-off approach with a Kohls card my ex just had to have to "save money", then fast forward 3 years to getting ready to purchase another home to find out her credit is wrecked because it's full of late payments. Big money saver...

Edited by Hmbre97
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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 1966

Posted
Posted

Our lives are pretty hectic right now with three kids, all involved in shit.  Every day we are running around town picking up and dropping off kids.  It is really hard to keep it all straight and my wife and I have to check in with each other every morning about the day's events.

A couple of weeks ago we had planned to decorate our tree on a Saturday night.  We had other plans throughout the day on Saturday.  I called an audible for myself on Saturday morning and did something other than what I said I would do during our planning session. My change of plans affected nothing and no one. Later that day, my wife tells me that she allowed our son to go spend the night at his cousin's house.  I got kinda pissed and told her, "But we were supposed to decorate the tree tonight as a family!"  My son wanted to participate, so we couldn't just do it without him.  Plus, we were already late getting to it and there was literally no other time to do it. So, to be clear, my wife's decision fucked up our plans and I got a little pissed about it. As these things go, somehow she got pissed at me. I asked her, "How is it that you fucked up, yet you are mad at me?"  Her answer was that it was a double standard because I changed the plans earlier in the day.  Yeah, but my change of plans didn't affect anyone else or cause us to not have time to do an important family activity. She completely did not agree or understand. I ended up just walking away and letting it all go.

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BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1814

Posted
Posted
On 12/10/2022 at 12:00 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


Point taken. However we are new to town so I can’t use relational stories yet.

Use a relatable analog from your old town. Something like "it's the one near the restaurant where your friend from work had that bad date would be if we were still in Scroton."

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52-80

52-80 19188

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

 As these things go, somehow she got pissed at me. I asked her, "How is it that you fucked up, yet you are mad at me?"  Her answer was that it was a double standard because I changed the plans earlier in the day.  Yeah, but my change of plans didn't affect anyone else or cause us to not have time to do an important family activity. She completely did not agree or understand. I ended up just walking away and letting it all go.

You're not allowed to win.

If we have plans to go somewhere, I'd be fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, sitting on the couch waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you lounging around, why don't you hurry, we're gonna be late and you'll make me look bad, etc etc etc".

Next time, I'm again fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, but now hanging by the foyer waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you hanging by the door, you're making feel pressured, stop trying to rush me, etc etc etc".

 

Mark-Wahlberg-Shock-and-Confused-Look.gi

 

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mininghorn88

mininghorn88 2294

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

You're not allowed to win.

If we have plans to go somewhere, I'd be fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, sitting on the couch waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you lounging around, why don't you hurry, we're gonna be late and you'll make me look bad, etc etc etc".

Next time, I'm again fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, but now hanging by the foyer waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you hanging by the door, you're making feel pressured, stop trying to rush me, etc etc etc".

 

Mark-Wahlberg-Shock-and-Confused-Look.gi

 

Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.

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elfenix

elfenix 34328

Posted
Posted
On 12/4/2022 at 10:07 PM, Modessit said:
On 12/4/2022 at 11:11 AM, Brisketexan said:

Looks like TWO KINDS of beans….plus bell pepper….and corn.
That’s some Midwest “chili” shit.
I mean, I’d probably eat it, but as a midwestern “Mexican stew.”

As a former Midwesterner - fuck no. No corn. No bell pepper. No cheese. Beans, yes, but dark red kidney beans only. Stewed tomatoes is the only other non-beef item besides the chili powder.

pinto says hi

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CHIEF

CHIEF 5094

Posted
Posted

My wife is very levelheaded and has never made an appearance in this thread. But when we first started dating, I bought tickets to a Soundgarden concert. I told her we were leaving at 5:30 sharp. At 5:30, she still had wet hair, and still wasn’t dressed. I went without her. 29 years later, and she hasn’t made that mistake since. 
CHIEF

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RamjetFDO

RamjetFDO 10577

Posted
Posted
13 minutes ago, Felix said:

It makes me giggle every time I see a Ramjet masterpiece.  I can just picture him sitting there putting on the finishing touches to the primary focus and then sitting back and contemplating the best place to put Bert.

Bert placement is often forefront in the design process ... can't have something non-important added to it that covers up "the perfect Bert spot".

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