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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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GoPokes83

GoPokes83 2,240

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We have two Australian Shepherds, so keeping the wood floors in the house clean is a constant battle.  We have a robot vac which helps, but it only does so much.  We both contribute to keeping it clean by using the rechargeable vacuum as needed for a couple of minutes a day.  This plays out in two different scenarios.
Scenario 1:  I walk into the room and notice some little fur bunnies on the floor and in the corners of the room.  I grab the rechargeable vacuum from the utility room, empty the dustbin into the trash, and proceed to quickly vacuum up the stray dog hairs and blades of dead grass that the dogs track in.  I have to do this quickly because the rechargeable vacuum wasn't put back on the charger after the previous use and thus has a only couple of minutes of charge in the battery.  I then empty the dustbin into the trash and place the vacuum back on the charger in the utility room.
Scenario 2:  My wife walks into the room and loudly exclaims "OH MY GOD, these floors are DISGUSTING!"  She then proceeds to huff over to the utility room, grabs the rechargeable vacuum and then haphazardly runs it around the floor for 90 seconds.  She then takes the vacuum with a partially full dustbin into the utility room and "puts it away" by leaning it against the wall in the general vicinity of the charger.   

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Those bastards are filthy
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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26,438

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11 hours ago, Snake Diggity said:

Wife is car shopping.  I am frugal, so buying a brand new car is against one of my core values.  On top of that, I consider 2023 to be one of the worst years in history to buy a new car.  That said, her current car needs to be replaced, so she has to do something and I know it is a lose-lose situation for me.  So I gave my opinion early on and then have tried my best to stay out of it as much as possible.  A couple of weeks ago she announced she’d decided on which make/model/trim she wanted.

Yesterday she calls me practically in tears.  She says she called a dealership that had the car she was looking for “on the way”.  Based on what she told me, this is how that conversation went:

Mrs Snake Diggity: “Hello, I see online you’re expecting a such and such with such and such options.  Is that car already sold?”

Salesman: “No but it will be soon.”

MSD: “Oh good.  Well, I want it.  I’ve heard other dealers are marking their cars up over MSRP.  I am willing to pay above MSRP if required.  Are you asking for more than MSRP?  Because if so I’ll pay that.”

Salesman: “…Actually yes, the car will be marked up.  Hang on and let me ask my manager how much the markup is.” (*brief hold*) “Yes ma’am the markup is 20% over MSRP.”

 

*TLDR wife literally suggested to a car salesman that he should add a markup on top of msrp*

Predictably, her convo with me ended poorly, because I was not being “supportive”.  Fuck my life.

We need pics because she must be SMOKING hot.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18,812

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11 hours ago, Snake Diggity said:

Wife is car shopping.  I am frugal, so buying a brand new car is against one of my core values.  On top of that, I consider 2023 to be one of the worst years in history to buy a new car.  That said, her current car needs to be replaced, so she has to do something and I know it is a lose-lose situation for me.  So I gave my opinion early on and then have tried my best to stay out of it as much as possible.  A couple of weeks ago she announced she’d decided on which make/model/trim she wanted.

Yesterday she calls me practically in tears.  She says she called a dealership that had the car she was looking for “on the way”.  Based on what she told me, this is how that conversation went:

Mrs Snake Diggity: “Hello, I see online you’re expecting a such and such with such and such options.  Is that car already sold?”

Salesman: “No but it will be soon.”

MSD: “Oh good.  Well, I want it.  I’ve heard other dealers are marking their cars up over MSRP.  I am willing to pay above MSRP if required.  Are you asking for more than MSRP?  Because if so I’ll pay that.”

Salesman: “…Actually yes, the car will be marked up.  Hang on and let me ask my manager how much the markup is.” (*brief hold*) “Yes ma’am the markup is 20% over MSRP.”

 

*TLDR wife literally suggested to a car salesman that he should add a markup on top of msrp*

Predictably, her convo with me ended poorly, because I was not being “supportive”.  Fuck my life.

Well duh of course because the more you pay for something, the better it must be. Every woman knows that 

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shakahorn

shakahorn 1,645

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14 hours ago, Snake Diggity said:

Wife is car shopping.  I am frugal, so buying a brand new car is against one of my core values.  On top of that, I consider 2023 to be one of the worst years in history to buy a new car.  That said, her current car needs to be replaced, so she has to do something and I know it is a lose-lose situation for me.  So I gave my opinion early on and then have tried my best to stay out of it as much as possible.  A couple of weeks ago she announced she’d decided on which make/model/trim she wanted.

Yesterday she calls me practically in tears.  She says she called a dealership that had the car she was looking for “on the way”.  Based on what she told me, this is how that conversation went:

Mrs Snake Diggity: “Hello, I see online you’re expecting a such and such with such and such options.  Is that car already sold?”

Salesman: “No but it will be soon.”

MSD: “Oh good.  Well, I want it.  I’ve heard other dealers are marking their cars up over MSRP.  I am willing to pay above MSRP if required.  Are you asking for more than MSRP?  Because if so I’ll pay that.”

Salesman: “…Actually yes, the car will be marked up.  Hang on and let me ask my manager how much the markup is.” (*brief hold*) “Yes ma’am the markup is 20% over MSRP.”

 

*TLDR wife literally suggested to a car salesman that he should add a markup on top of msrp*

Predictably, her convo with me ended poorly, because I was not being “supportive”.  Fuck my life.

Somewhere there's a car salesman message board posting the other end of this convo.  It reads like a "Dear Penthouse" letter.

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UTGrad98

UTGrad98 2,271

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One of are larger back yard trees was uprooted sunday after the most recent storm system and was about a foot away from falling onto oir fence. I called a tree guy and he came by the house yesterday and said he could cut the tree down and haul it off for $200 but he didn't have all the tools needed to haul.it away. I told my wife to pay him half now to cut it down and then half to haul it when he comes back. She thought that wasn't the right thing to do so she gave him 160 yesterday and now he isn't answering our calls to come get the tree.

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nnm

nnm 36,368

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1 minute ago, ABSR said:

Switch it to one of the Waze female voices so that she will believe the directions.  No more Waze Mansplaining for her!

No, that doesn’t work.  I like the Waze Australian woman voiceover. My wife thinks it’s weird. 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54,212

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On 3/1/2023 at 8:41 PM, Snake Diggity said:

Wife is car shopping.  I am frugal, so buying a brand new car is against one of my core values.  On top of that, I consider 2023 to be one of the worst years in history to buy a new car.  That said, her current car needs to be replaced, so she has to do something and I know it is a lose-lose situation for me.  So I gave my opinion early on and then have tried my best to stay out of it as much as possible.  A couple of weeks ago she announced she’d decided on which make/model/trim she wanted.

Yesterday she calls me practically in tears.  She says she called a dealership that had the car she was looking for “on the way”.  Based on what she told me, this is how that conversation went:

Mrs Snake Diggity: “Hello, I see online you’re expecting a such and such with such and such options.  Is that car already sold?”

Salesman: “No but it will be soon.”

MSD: “Oh good.  Well, I want it.  I’ve heard other dealers are marking their cars up over MSRP.  I am willing to pay above MSRP if required.  Are you asking for more than MSRP?  Because if so I’ll pay that.”

Salesman: “…Actually yes, the car will be marked up.  Hang on and let me ask my manager how much the markup is.” (*brief hold*) “Yes ma’am the markup is 20% over MSRP.”

 

*TLDR wife literally suggested to a car salesman that he should add a markup on top of msrp*

Predictably, her convo with me ended poorly, because I was not being “supportive”.  Fuck my life.

When we first moved back to Texas, I took the wife car-shopping.  I for some reason told her that my "top price" for the car we were looking at was $X. 

I don't even remember how/why she did it, but at some point, she tells the salesman, "Our top price is $X."  

The salesman just nodded his head and said, "Oh, is it?" and ignored me as I let out a huge sigh and slumped down into my chair.

She has not been back to a car dealership with me since.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,803

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On 3/7/2023 at 3:58 PM, UTGrad98 said:

One of are larger back yard trees was uprooted sunday after the most recent storm system and was about a foot away from falling onto oir fence. I called a tree guy and he came by the house yesterday and said he could cut the tree down and haul it off for $200 but he didn't have all the tools needed to haul.it away. I told my wife to pay him half now to cut it down and then half to haul it when he comes back. She thought that wasn't the right thing to do so she gave him 160 yesterday and now he isn't answering our calls to come get the tree.

Never, never, never,  ever pay ANYTHING in advance.

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UTGrad98

UTGrad98 2,271

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12 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Never, never, never,  ever pay ANYTHING in advance.

Of course but we were hours away from much bigger problems and were on like calling our 6th tree guy. No one else was answering. I was amazed the tree had not fallen over. There would be a slight breeze and the tree would teeter on its edge. The base formed about a 45 degree angle with the ground. It was a sight. 

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Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10,961

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10 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

Of course but we were hours away from much bigger problems and were on like calling our 6th tree guy. No one else was answering. I was amazed the tree had not fallen over. There would be a slight breeze and the tree would teeter on its edge. The base formed about a 45 degree angle with the ground. It was a sight. 

Wife doing dumb things aside... sounds like you got a good deal on getting the urgent part of the work done.  Count it as a win and move on to solving the second half of the problem.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,803

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25 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

Of course but we were hours away from much bigger problems and were on like calling our 6th tree guy. No one else was answering. I was amazed the tree had not fallen over. There would be a slight breeze and the tree would teeter on its edge. The base formed about a 45 degree angle with the ground. It was a sight. 

Dang that was an urgent situation for sure.  I wish I had known about your dilemma and I'd have come over....

 

 

 

 

 

 

and collected half fee and disappeared, never to be seen again.

J/K of course, sorry you had to go through that and FUCK all the assholes that pull that crap. I hope  the sandman visits them in their sleep and gives them a battery acid enema.

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VolenteHawk

VolenteHawk 495

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On 2/28/2023 at 5:27 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

We got a car about a year ago which was our first keyless ignition experiment. Wife left the car running overnight.....

My first one was an '08 Infiniti that I purchased new on October 24th (which I wouldn't remember except...).  Picked up a buddy the next morning, headed downtown to hit our tailgate.  It ran in the Manor garage for the entirety of Texas/Oklahoma State.

My wife doesn't know about this or I could be on a "Husbands and the stupid shit they do" thread somewhere.

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Post Oak

Post Oak 20,210

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Headed to SA for wife's birthday today.  Need to be on riverwalk for lunch.  No problem. 

Thinking if we leave at 8 that will give us plenty of time. 

Last night she says we need to leave at 7 so we can get there early. Fine. Whatever.

Im packed up.  Kids are packed up. 745 and she's doing her hair.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18,812

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Posted
5 hours ago, Post Oak said:

Headed to SA for wife's birthday today.  Need to be on riverwalk for lunch.  No problem. 

Thinking if we leave at 8 that will give us plenty of time. 

Last night she says we need to leave at 7 so we can get there early. Fine. Whatever.

Im packed up.  Kids are packed up. 745 and she's doing her hair.

Sounds like she has you trained pretty well 

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Snake Diggity

Snake Diggity 4,622

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Update on my wife’s car shopping.  She ended up paying MSRP with no markup but they essentially forced her to pay extra for window tint and some clear coat bullshit that cost 2 grand.  Whatever.

The bigger issue is that when she first started shopping, I told her, since you are looking for a bigger car, you need to measure to make sure it’ll fit in the garage.  She gets the new car home and guess fucking what.  Now every time she pulls into the garage she has to stop, get out, and fold in the mirrors.  And even with that there’s maybe 3 inches to spare on each side.  I’m sure this will end well.

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SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2,622

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1 hour ago, Snake Diggity said:

Update on my wife’s car shopping.  She ended up paying MSRP with no markup but they essentially forced her to pay extra for window tint and some clear coat bullshit that cost 2 grand.  Whatever.

The bigger issue is that when she first started shopping, I told her, since you are looking for a bigger car, you need to measure to make sure it’ll fit in the garage.  She gets the new car home and guess fucking what.  Now every time she pulls into the garage she has to stop, get out, and fold in the mirrors.  And even with that there’s maybe 3 inches to spare on each side.  I’m sure this will end well.

Why aren't you expanding the garage you asshole cheapskate?

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Snake Diggity

Snake Diggity 4,622

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2 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

You can buy a new car in 2023 with mirrors that have to be folded in manually?

Hyundais don’t offer it, even on the top of the line trim of their 3rd row SUV.  Apparently it wasn’t a feature she thought about.  She also looked at Honda Pilots and Volkswagen Atlas and they both offer it.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17,551

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5 hours ago, Snake Diggity said:

Update on my wife’s car shopping.  She ended up paying MSRP with no markup but they essentially forced her to pay extra for window tint and some clear coat bullshit that cost 2 grand.  Whatever.

The bigger issue is that when she first started shopping, I told her, since you are looking for a bigger car, you need to measure to make sure it’ll fit in the garage.  She gets the new car home and guess fucking what.  Now every time she pulls into the garage she has to stop, get out, and fold in the mirrors.  And even with that there’s maybe 3 inches to spare on each side.  I’m sure this will end well.

<Narrator> It did not end well. </Narrator>

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