Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[AUS-97HORN 11758]

On 6/1/2023 at 11:34 AM, Grade of D as in David said:

My uncle just politely keeps saying no thank you and stays put in front of the window.

 

and that is a sure fire way to guarantee that the Whataburger staff spit on or worse to your food.

Just accept that when you place your order in the drive through lane and there are 4 cars ahead of you in line that take 5 mins each to be car order to be fulfilled... until you get to the window 20 mins later and they havent even started cooking your order yet. 

 

[Modessit 5600]

There was a nasty bitch in Kroger with her cat last week. Not only did the nasty heifer bring the cat into the store, but she also had the damn thing's pillow or bed in the cart, too! She was telling another lady that the cat basically had cat aids and had to go everywhere with her.  Cat people are crazy.

I once had a cat that got "cat aids". (I forget the actual name but they described it as "basically AIDS but for cats.)

By the time it has symptoms to even know this diagnosis, it's too late for the cat and it usually dies within 48 hrs.

[tx ind 7013]

10 hours ago, leaf said:

My wife cleaned the garage today while I was at work. 

Good luck finding all of your shit now.

[leaf 684]

55 minutes ago, tx ind said:

Good luck finding all of your shit now.

Yeah, now I am the asshole for not thanking her.  I will spend the next 6 months trying to find shit.

[nnm 36396]

36 minutes ago, leaf said:

Yeah, now I am the asshole for not thanking her.  I will spend the next 6 months trying to find shit.

You will never find your 1/2” or 9/16” sockets. 

[Armybrat 40842]

13 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

 

and that is a sure fire way to guarantee that the Whataburger staff spit on or worse to your food.

Just accept that when you place your order in the drive through lane and there are 4 cars ahead of you in line that take 5 mins each to be car order to be fulfilled... until you get to the window 20 mins later and they havent even started cooking your order yet. 

 

Cook? 
Don’t you mean nuke, then placed under the warming light?

[ztejas 43425]

7 hours ago, Modessit said:

I once had a cat that got "cat aids". (I forget the actual name but they described it as "basically AIDS but for cats.)

By the time it has symptoms to even know this diagnosis, it's too late for the cat and it usually dies within 48 hrs.

Sometimes you get lucky. 

[Not that Bob 736]

Put it in park. Turn off the ignition. Get out of the car. GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!!

 

 

[Not that Bob 736]

...ok. If you just gotta get your purse, reach in the back seat and get it, but please don't open it or we'll never get out of here. No! Please! Noooooo!!!

[EE2B 1565]

We’re at a wedding tonight and I asked my wife what the reception was going to be like. She said “I think it’s just a caricature board”. I asked her if she meant that someone was going to be drawing caricatures. She looked at me funny and said no, that’s what we’re eating. I finally got it. She meant charcuterie board. 

[Sam Lin 3556]

Sigh. I knew as I was reading that she meant charcuterie board. #FML

[Knoxtnhorn 5975]

I've got an all-timer coming up.  I'll try and make it short.

So, a couple of years ago, some might recall the multitude of stories about my SIL.  Refused to work, drew disability for 2+ years, etc... Well, she finally got a job and "got better".  She's been tolerable as of late.  Well, her birthday had been coming up, so my wife and she decide they want to go to New Orleans.  Cool.  Have a great weekend.  I'll bullet the rest...

• For some reason, they decide the best plan of action would be to fly to New Orleans in the morning then, fly back that evening.  I implored them to stay overnight.  I mean, neither would ever delve into the nightlife, but I figured staying would keep them from being rushed.  Whatever.  They stick with the day plan.  SIL's birthday.  She has the final say-so.  So two round trip plane tickets to essentially eat lunch in another city.
• As simple as this plan should have been, they, of course, miss their flight.  I have told my procrastinating wife many, many times that flights are not the time to fuck around and find out.  Well, they FAAFO.  Now they're on a later flight, Dallas to Atlanta, then back to NO --- for the day.
• This may be the best part.  And, I'm so glad I waited until today to get the rest of the story.  They finally make it to New Orleans around noon.  Return flight leaves at 7.  There's not a ton of time to see and do everything they want to do.  Guess what SIL decided to do first?  Miniature golf.  I'm dead effing serious.  It's her birthday, in New Orleans, a city she's never visited, and she wants to play miniature golf during the 4 or so hours they have to visit New Orleans.

Jesus.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry. /Richard Dreyfuss

[mininghorn88 2289]

30 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I've got an all-timer coming up.  I'll try and make it short.

So, a couple of years ago, some might recall the multitude of stories about my SIL.  Refused to work, drew disability for 2+ years, etc... Well, she finally got a job and "got better".  She's been tolerable as of late.  Well, her birthday had been coming up, so my wife and she decide they want to go to New Orleans.  Cool.  Have a great weekend.  I'll bullet the rest...

• For some reason, they decide the best plan of action would be to fly to New Orleans in the morning then, fly back that evening.  I implored them to stay overnight.  I mean, neither would ever delve into the nightlife, but I figured staying would keep them from being rushed.  Whatever.  They stick with the day plan.  SIL's birthday.  She has the final say-so.  So two round trip plane tickets to essentially eat lunch in another city.
• As simple as this plan should have been, they, of course, miss their flight.  I have told my procrastinating wife many, many times that flights are not the time to fuck around and find out.  Well, they FAAFO.  Now they're on a later flight, Dallas to Atlanta, then back to NO --- for the day.
• This may be the best part.  And, I'm so glad I waited until today to get the rest of the story.  They finally make it to New Orleans around noon.  Return flight leaves at 7.  There's not a ton of time to see and do everything they want to do.  Guess what SIL decided to do first?  Miniature golf.  I'm dead effing serious.  It's her birthday, in New Orleans, a city she's never visited, and she wants to play miniature golf during the 4 or so hours they have to visit New Orleans.

Jesus.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry. /Richard Dreyfuss

Ummm…wow….this is beyond stupid.

[tbone_ 14123]

Outstanding

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

We’re at a wedding tonight and I asked my wife what the reception was going to be like. She said “I think it’s just a caricature board”. I asked her if she meant that someone was going to be drawing caricatures. She looked at me funny and said no, that’s what we’re eating. I finally got it. She meant charcuterie board. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

I've got an all-timer coming up.  I'll try and make it short.
So, a couple of years ago, some might recall the multitude of stories about my SIL.  Refused to work, drew disability for 2+ years, etc... Well, she finally got a job and "got better".  She's been tolerable as of late.  Well, her birthday had been coming up, so my wife and she decide they want to go to New Orleans.  Cool.  Have a great weekend.  I'll bullet the rest...

• For some reason, they decide the best plan of action would be to fly to New Orleans in the morning then, fly back that evening.  I implored them to stay overnight.  I mean, neither would ever delve into the nightlife, but I figured staying would keep them from being rushed.  Whatever.  They stick with the day plan.  SIL's birthday.  She has the final say-so.  So two round trip plane tickets to essentially eat lunch in another city.
• As simple as this plan should have been, they, of course, miss their flight.  I have told my procrastinating wife many, many times that flights are not the time to fuck around and find out.  Well, they FAAFO.  Now they're on a later flight, Dallas to Atlanta, then back to NO --- for the day.
• This may be the best part.  And, I'm so glad I waited until today to get the rest of the story.  They finally make it to New Orleans around noon.  Return flight leaves at 7.  There's not a ton of time to see and do everything they want to do.  Guess what SIL decided to do first?  Miniature golf.  I'm dead effing serious.  It's her birthday, in New Orleans, a city she's never visited, and she wants to play miniature golf during the 4 or so hours they have to visit New Orleans.

Jesus.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry. /Richard Dreyfuss

Please tell me they ate at some chain like Olive Garden after mini golf because it was “quick” and close to the airport

[Incredulity 11670]

Tangentially related.

my mother in law took my niece to Europe one summer many years ago.  One of the “highlights” according to the photos I was shown was a stop at The Gap in Paris.  What the absolute fuck.

[Armybrat 40842]

15 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

Tangentially related.

my mother in law took my niece to Europe one summer many years ago.  One of the “highlights” according to the photos I was shown was a stop at The Gap in Paris.  What the absolute fuck.

Bet they “dined” at McDonald’s too. 

[General Specific 3261]

Pics not loading! The last few posts sound really really hot. Gonna need pics to make a final ruling!

[WhatTheBuck 28780]

I’ll bet every miniature golf course in NOLA has a hole where you have to hit the ball through the turning blades of a paddle boat. 

[Pig Bellmont 8717]

5 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I've got an all-timer coming up.  I'll try and make it short.

So, a couple of years ago, some might recall the multitude of stories about my SIL.  Refused to work, drew disability for 2+ years, etc... Well, she finally got a job and "got better".  She's been tolerable as of late.  Well, her birthday had been coming up, so my wife and she decide they want to go to New Orleans.  Cool.  Have a great weekend.  I'll bullet the rest...

• For some reason, they decide the best plan of action would be to fly to New Orleans in the morning then, fly back that evening.  I implored them to stay overnight.  I mean, neither would ever delve into the nightlife, but I figured staying would keep them from being rushed.  Whatever.  They stick with the day plan.  SIL's birthday.  She has the final say-so.  So two round trip plane tickets to essentially eat lunch in another city.
• As simple as this plan should have been, they, of course, miss their flight.  I have told my procrastinating wife many, many times that flights are not the time to fuck around and find out.  Well, they FAAFO.  Now they're on a later flight, Dallas to Atlanta, then back to NO --- for the day.
• This may be the best part.  And, I'm so glad I waited until today to get the rest of the story.  They finally make it to New Orleans around noon.  Return flight leaves at 7.  There's not a ton of time to see and do everything they want to do.  Guess what SIL decided to do first?  Miniature golf.  I'm dead effing serious.  It's her birthday, in New Orleans, a city she's never visited, and she wants to play miniature golf during the 4 or so hours they have to visit New Orleans.

Jesus.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry. /Richard Dreyfuss

What a waste of a trip holy shit

[Knoxtnhorn 5975]

4 hours ago, Incredulity said:

Tangentially related.

my mother in law took my niece to Europe one summer many years ago.  One of the “highlights” according to the photos I was shown was a stop at The Gap in Paris.  What the absolute fuck.

You sound like you wouldn't appreciate the Las Vegas Target my wife made us walk to last year.  Yes, that was on our list when we visited last year 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

One time the ex made us go to Cancun with a bunch of her friends.  One afternoon I rode the city bus to a Walmart.  It was the highlight of the trip for me.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

One time the ex made us go to Cancun with a bunch of her friends.  One afternoon I rode the city bus to a Walmart.  It was the highlight of the trip for me.

You went to Cancun with your stripper ex and a bunch of her (I'm assuming) stripper friends and the best part of the trip was Walmart?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

No strippers, these were her less classy friends.  Our wedding reception on the other hand was epic.  I think I’m still on the Sweetwater Country Club no fly list.

[Armybrat 40842]

5 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

You sound like you wouldn't appreciate the Las Vegas Target my wife made us walk to last year.  Yes, that was on our list when we visited last year 

I actually ordered a margarita with my fish & chips when we dined at a pub in London 5 years ago. 
No ice in it, but was slightly chilled.

Edited June 5, 2023 by Armybrat

[TKthunder2 4991]

Married coming up in 19 years this month. Wife reads online that our fans should all be running counterclockwise in the summer. Me knowing this already, changed them nearly two months back. But we had an argument at midnight about whether the fan was spinning clockwise (her) or counterclockwise (me and the fan).

The fan is clearly spinning counterclockwise, but to prove it was clockwise she held an oversized decorative clock up to the fan and continued arguing while watching the second hand go one direction and the fan go the other. After a minute or two when she starts to realize she is wrong, she then argues that it’s clockwise if you look down on it so she’s right.

I’m done for the night, so I let her change the rotation. I’ll just change sit back in a day or two.

[nnm 36396]

4 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Married coming up in 19 years this month. Wife reads online that our fans should all be running counterclockwise in the summer. Me knowing this already, changed them nearly two months back. But we had an argument at midnight about whether the fan was spinning clockwise (her) or counterclockwise (me and the fan).

The fan is clearly spinning counterclockwise, but to prove it was clockwise she held an oversized decorative clock up to the fan and continued arguing while watching the second hand go one direction and the fan go the other. After a minute or two when she starts to realize she is wrong, she then argues that it’s clockwise if you look down on it so she’s right.

I’m done for the night, so I let her change the rotation. I’ll just change sit back in a day or two.

Whether it’s running clockwise or counter is irrelevant. Conceivably, the angle of the blades could be such that running clockwise could have the opposite effect. 
 

The point is to have the ceiling fans pushing the air down during summer, cycling out the hot air at the top of the room, and pushing the air up during the winter. If you’re standing directly under the fan in the summer and don’t feel it, then it’s blowing the wrong way. 

[shadow_operative2.0 15975]

Thanks, bro. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

3 hours ago, nnm said:

Whether it’s running clockwise or counter is irrelevant. Conceivably, the angle of the blades could be such that running clockwise could have the opposite effect. 
 

The point is to have the ceiling fans pushing the air down during summer, cycling out the hot air at the top of the room, and pushing the air up during the winter. If you’re standing directly under the fan in the summer and don’t feel it, then it’s blowing the wrong way. 

We are eating our own now?  

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

I want air blowing on me while I sleep whether it’s -30 out or 90

[TKthunder2 4991]

3 hours ago, nnm said:

Whether it’s running clockwise or counter is irrelevant. Conceivably, the angle of the blades could be such that running clockwise could have the opposite effect. 
 

The point is to have the ceiling fans pushing the air down during summer, cycling out the hot air at the top of the room, and pushing the air up during the winter. If you’re standing directly under the fan in the summer and don’t feel it, then it’s blowing the wrong way. 

lol yeah I get that but I’m fairly certain that every residential fan I’ve had have the blades are all facing the same way.

Also, that did come to mind and I briefly tried to make that point but this argument was based on what she read on the internet so I wasn’t going to logic/science my way to a W here.

[GoPokes83 2240]

Changing the direction of the fan is going to disrupt and blow all the dust you (she) missed while cleaning off into the room. Ask me how I know.

[ztejas 43425]

9 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

clockwise (her) or counterclockwise (me and the fan).

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

9 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Married coming up in 19 years this month. Wife reads online that our fans should all be running counterclockwise in the summer. Me knowing this already, changed them nearly two months back. But we had an argument at midnight about whether the fan was spinning clockwise (her) or counterclockwise (me and the fan).

The fan is clearly spinning counterclockwise, but to prove it was clockwise she held an oversized decorative clock up to the fan and continued arguing while watching the second hand go one direction and the fan go the other. After a minute or two when she starts to realize she is wrong, she then argues that it’s clockwise if you look down on it so she’s right.

I’m done for the night, so I let her change the rotation. I’ll just change sit back in a day or two.

You should have told her that the fan was made in Australia and so clockwise is the other way for it

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

7 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

You should have told her that the fan was made in Australia and so clockwise is the other way for it

Something something Coriolis effect. 

[Kennythetiger 9381]

10 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Married coming up in 19 years this month. Wife reads online that our fans should all be running counterclockwise in the summer. Me knowing this already, changed them nearly two months back. But we had an argument at midnight about whether the fan was spinning clockwise (her) or counterclockwise (me and the fan).

The fan is clearly spinning counterclockwise, but to prove it was clockwise she held an oversized decorative clock up to the fan and continued arguing while watching the second hand go one direction and the fan go the other. After a minute or two when she starts to realize she is wrong, she then argues that it’s clockwise if you look down on it so she’s right.

I’m done for the night, so I let her change the rotation. I’ll just change sit back in a day or two.

Ask her to clean off the blades when she’s up there. 

[The Ace of Aces 5182]

We're getting new bedroom furniture made by an Amish man that we have used for countless things over the years. He does great work for a fair price so I can temporarily ignore how they treat animals, their women and the law. Anyway ... 

The dresser will be a custom-made piece with a specific size and drawer set up. We go through the type of wood, stain, hardware, etc. and he then asked if we wanted soft-close drawers. Makes sense, he said, since they'll be dovetail and full ball bearing anyway.

Without a beat Mrs. Ace goes, "No thanks, we can close the drawers ourselves. I don't think there is an outlet near where it'll go for us to plug it in, anyway." 

She said this ... to an Amish man ... in a barn ... without electricity ... 

Edited June 5, 2023 by The Ace of Aces

[nnm 36396]

3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I want air blowing on me while I sleep whether it’s -30 out or 90

Hello Mrs. NNM. I didn’t know you posted here. 

[Jerry Callo 8701]

7 hours ago, nnm said:

Whether it’s running clockwise or counter is irrelevant. Conceivably, the angle of the blades could be such that running clockwise could have the opposite effect. 
 

The point is to have the ceiling fans pushing the air down during summer, cycling out the hot air at the top of the room, and pushing the air up during the winter. If you’re standing directly under the fan in the summer and don’t feel it, then it’s blowing the wrong way. 

@TKthunder2 please come back with a report after you try to explain the angles of the fan blades to her.

[CycleTex87 2970]

This page is going strong in the paint!!

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

21 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

@TKthunder2 please come back with a report after you try to explain the angles of the fan blades to her.

At a certain point, if the angle of the blades becomes to steep the fan will stall out and fall to the ground.

[Js1 85326]

On 6/5/2023 at 10:02 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

You should have told her that the fan was made in Australia and so clockwise is the other way for it

she’d probably accept an emergency 6 hour collect call from the international air flow commission in Springfield 

[Incredulity 11670]

True story/CSB alert

Spent spring break in a condo in Hawaii with a bedroom ceiling fan that wouldn't blow air down in either direction.  Its as if physics ceased to exist in that condo.

Really sucked because the AC was locked at 74.  Slept on top of the sheets the whole week.

[Sam Lin 3556]

Neighborhood FB group:

[nnm 36396]

16 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

Neighborhood FB group:

It depends on which service he would like an estimate for. Stucco repair is fairly cheap. The other option is at least half of everything you own. 

[Sam Lin 3556]

Neighborhood FB is the gift that keeps on giving:

[General Specific 3261]

Neighborhood FB is the gift that keeps on giving:

So many questions with this one, that it’s almost not believable.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

2 hours ago, General Specific said:

So many questions with this one

Lives are in the balance

[General Specific 3261]

Lives are in the balance

One shouldn’t roll over so quickly!