Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[Fudbelty 2,789]

Probably been brought up eleventy times here. My favorite…

[AUS-97HORN 11,814]

other than folks on a fixed income or legit living paycheck to paycheck, the number of folks who refuse to fill up their car until its basically running on empty astounds me.

I get that pumping gas isnt the most fun thing in the world, but constantly letting it get to 2 gallons or less would drive me up a fucking wall. 

 

[SilasCoade 2,622]

Dude, I can go 70 miles on 2 gallons easily. I tend to fill up when it's between a quarter and an eighth but I don't sweat it if it's under that.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,920]

 

[Al_4_ISU 12,477]

1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

other than folks on a fixed income or legit living paycheck to paycheck, the number of folks who refuse to fill up their car until its basically running on empty astounds me.

I get that pumping gas isnt the most fun thing in the world, but constantly letting it get to 2 gallons or less would drive me up a fucking wall. 

 

My wife freaks out when we’re under 100 miles of gas in the tank.  We live in the fucking Midwest, where gas stations outnumber people.  It’ll be fine for at least 90 more miles, woman.

[Jameslaw121 4,448]

On 6/19/2023 at 2:21 PM, The Ace of Aces said:

Getting gas today, the wife got out to ensure a 60 cents a gallon credit was going to be part of our purchase. As I was hanging the gas cap onto the little built-in holder on the gas tank door, she looked at me like my head was suddenly a giraffe.

She had no idea you can hang a gas cap. She said she has always let it dangle and thought that area of the door was kart kf trh closing mechanism.  

She’s been driving for more than 2 decades. 

A few weeks ago, it was lightly sprinkling. She was driving (I was drinking earlier) 

Her "There needs to be a slower version of windshield wipers."

I reached over (on her car btw) and turned on the intermittent wipers and lowered the setting. I wish I got a pic of the look on her face.

 

[Jameslaw121 4,448]

On our vacation last week. We shared a beach house with her family.

Her mom "You need to get your passport done soon."

Her "I will. but Jameslaw can't find my birth certificate and SS card. But we can do the kids and Jameslaw when we get back. We have those."

I'm not going to say anything being it was her family I wasn't really part of the conversation. But I kinda dart my eyes up in WTF mode

Her Dad (after about 30 seconds of silence) "So....only your stuff is missing.....I'm gonna go ahead and side with Jameslaw on this."

[nnm 36,562]

2 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

other than folks on a fixed income or legit living paycheck to paycheck, the number of folks who refuse to fill up their car until its basically running on empty astounds me.

I get that pumping gas isnt the most fun thing in the world, but constantly letting it get to 2 gallons or less would drive me up a fucking wall. 

 

I live way out in the sticks in ETX. Our local grocery store is Brookshire’s, which has gas pumps out front and a loyalty program through which you get increasing discounts on gas based on your purchases. I’ve gotten up to 90 cents per gallon before. But once you use the discount, it’s gone and you have to build it up again through spending on groceries.
I have an F-150 with a 32-gallon tank. I let that sucker get down to 50 miles or less (~2 gal) before I refill, so I can maximize the discount. Why let Mrs NNM waste it on a 10-gallon fillup (6-9 dollar savings), when I can wait and get a 22-27 dollar savings on a 30-gallon tank? 

[TrashMaster G 17,587]

17 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

other than folks on a fixed income or legit living paycheck to paycheck, the number of folks who refuse to fill up their car until its basically running on empty astounds me.

I get that pumping gas isnt the most fun thing in the world, but constantly letting it get to 2 gallons or less would drive me up a fucking wall. 

 

I do 95% of my driving around town where you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a gas pump.  Why would I want to sign up for more stops to fill up with gas?

[Gil Bang 25,997]

The GF made a quick trip to London for a friend's wedding.  She's now packing for another trip, and still had shit in her suitcase.

She pulls out a small box. "Oh, I bought this in London.  Sarah (the friend that lives there) says it's the most amazing thing for aches and pains.  I'm not sure what's in it". 

I look at the box.  "Paracetamol".  I google it.   It's fucking tylenol. 

[tbone_ 14,144]

Outstanding. But you only get partial credit for that story because the GF can’t take half or most of your shit. This is the I pushed all my chips in thread.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

4 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

This is the I pushed all my chips in thread.

[TrashMaster G 17,587]

58 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Outstanding. But you only get partial credit for that story because the GF can’t take half or most of your shit. This is the I pushed all my chips in thread.

Screw that.  Women are women and do stupid shit in any relationship. 

This thread is about the lulz/frustration of being with a woman, NOT your gambling problem.

[tbone_ 14,144]

Screw that.  Women are women and do stupid shit in any relationship. 
This thread is about the lulz/frustration of being with a woman, NOT your gambling problem.

Idk about that. Seems like hulla was specific in the title.

[TrashMaster G 17,587]

1 minute ago, tbone_ said:

Idk about that. Seems like hulla was specific in the title.

And I'm talking about the 380+ pages since.  There have been plenty of stories involving non-wives.

[tbone_ 14,144]

I gave partial credit.

[Dennis Taylor 18,853]

On 6/12/2023 at 9:08 PM, Buzzrock said:

Guess who just made a 3 hour grocery run? She said “can you meet me at the car with a few luggage carts.”

Haven't seen an update here on the big baseball trip...surely there was some drama the rest of the time. Surely some tension on the team- playing time issues, coach is a dick, somebody got too drunk etc...We had a baseball trip a few years back to Sulphur, LA of all places. Hottest fucking place on the planet in July. Plenty of shenanigans- one couple fought the first few days, then got really drunk one night and let's just say the whole floor of the hotel could tell they made up. Nine months later had a permanent reminder of the trip, divorced soon thereafter 

[tigol 2,399]

Screw that.  Women are women and do stupid shit in any relationship. 
This thread is about the lulz/frustration of being with a woman, NOT your gambling problem.

Hey asshole, men do stupid shit all of the time. We’d run out of bandwidth to accommodate such a thread. This one is for wives.

[Dnaguy 12,043]

21 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

Probably been brought up eleventy times here. My favorite…

 

Does the car also have automatic climate control?

 

If it does, I bet the temperature was set to the lowest degree temperature (58? 60 F) or in manual with max fan. My wife wont' accept a car without climate control yet manually overrides it every chance she gets.

 

Almost Empty and AC set to full blast... every ....single.... time I get into her vehicle. Oh and open cups. Today she had a regular coffee mug chilling in the center console.... Like a psychopath.

 

[Armybrat 40,872]

21 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

other than folks on a fixed income or legit living paycheck to paycheck, the number of folks who refuse to fill up their car until its basically running on empty astounds me.

I get that pumping gas isnt the most fun thing in the world, but constantly letting it get to 2 gallons or less would drive me up a fucking wall. 

 

 

20 hours ago, SilasCoade said:

Dude, I can go 70 miles on 2 gallons easily. I tend to fill up when it's between a quarter and an eighth but I don't sweat it if it's under that.

I like to fill our gas tanks up when they get down to half full. Mrs. Brat hasn’t pumped gas in our cars for 50 years.

In 1975 while driving the wife & 3 sons down I-35 in my beat up 1964 Rambler work car, it ran out of gas completely (gas gauge was faulty). Had to hike a mile or so to a gas station to get a gallon can. 
Vowed never again.

 

[rage-a-holic 4,450]

19 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

A few weeks ago, it was lightly sprinkling. She was driving (I was drinking earlier) 

Her "There needs to be a slower version of windshield wipers."

I reached over (on her car btw) and turned on the intermittent wipers and lowered the setting. I wish I got a pic of the look on her face.

 

i know i only get half credit, but this is relevant and she does so much stupid shit.....

Driving around Puebla at night in her RAV4:

Me: People keep flashing their lights at you, do you have your brights on?

Her: What are brights?

Me: Your high beams...the high setting on the headlights?

Her: Blank stare

Me: Headlights have a low setting and a high setting. The high setting blinds other drivers at night and they usually flash their high beams at you so you'll turn yours off

Her: How would I even know they are on?

Me: Theres a bright blue headlight indicator that turns on....like the one right in front of you

Her: Oh thats always on, you can't turn it off

Me: *Reaches over and pulls back on the turn signal lever, brights turn off

Her: I can't tell the difference

 

She had probably been driving for 6 months with her brights on every night.

[Jameslaw121 4,448]

28 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

 

I like to fill our gas tanks up when they get down to half full. Mrs. Brat hasn’t pumped gas in our cars for 50 years.

In 1975 while driving the wife & 3 sons down I-35 in my beat up 1964 Rambler work car, it ran out of gas completely (gas gauge was faulty). Had to hike a mile or so to a gas station to get a gallon can. 
Vowed never again.

 

I'm in this camp. While my wife does get gas often. I try every Sunday to take her car and fill it up. Gives me a chance to everything is working how it should. 

Then I go get a beer at watch either NFL or MLB pregame before going home. Works for both of us

[CycleTex87 2,981]

55 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

 

I like to fill our gas tanks up when they get down to half full. Mrs. Brat hasn’t pumped gas in our cars for 50 years.

In 1975 while driving the wife & 3 sons down I-35 in my beat up 1964 Rambler work car, it ran out of gas completely (gas gauge was faulty). Had to hike a mile or so to a gas station to get a gallon can. 
Vowed never again.

 

raises hand.  except 1989 Olds Cutlass Calais (POS) on 287 just outside of Decatur, TX.

[Dennis Taylor 18,853]

46 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

i know i only get half credit, but this is relevant and she does so much stupid shit.....

Driving around Puebla at night in her RAV4:

Me: People keep flashing their lights at you, do you have your brights on?

Her: What are brights?

Me: Your high beams...the high setting on the headlights?

Her: Blank stare

Me: Headlights have a low setting and a high setting. The high setting blinds other drivers at night and they usually flash their high beams at you so you'll turn yours off

Her: How would I even know they are on?

Me: Theres a bright blue headlight indicator that turns on....like the one right in front of you

Her: Oh thats always on, you can't turn it off

Me: *Reaches over and pulls back on the turn signal lever, brights turn off

Her: I can't tell the difference

 

She had probably been driving for 6 months with her brights on every night.

This one's gotta be scalding hot 

[rage-a-holic 4,450]

4 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

This one's gotta be scalding hot 

in Mexico, you don't have to take Drivers Ed or learn anything about a car before you get a license and start driving (if you even bother to get a license)

She also thought a tire/wheel was all one thing; so if you got a flat, you had to go buy a new tire/wheel combo.

Pretty girls in Mexico don't do car maintenance.

[ztejas 43,528]

1 minute ago, rage-a-holic said:

in Mexico, you don't have to take Drivers Ed or learn anything about a car before you get a license and start driving (if you even bother to get a license)

This explains quite a bit. 

[rage-a-holic 4,450]

9 minutes ago, ztejas said:

This explains quite a bit. 

If you can read and have any common sense, you can pass a MX state drivers license test (no actual driving involved).

I have a Baja license I got by showing my passport and paying an "emergency expedited" fee of 500 pesos. The only question I had to answer was "What is your blood type?", which I made up.

Edited June 24, 2023 by rage-a-holic

[Armybrat 40,872]

When we lived in Monterrey, my Dad came home from work one afternoon and handed me a new drivers license. 
I was 15 and had not asked for one and had no clue he was going to their DMV - he had taken  my photo to a nearby office and handed the clerk 50 Pesos. A few minutes later walked out with it. 
They were pretty different - my photo & info was etched on a metal card that looked similar to a Texas license. I guess the purpose of that medium was be able to identify the burned up corpse after a bad accident.

[TrashMaster G 17,587]

On 6/23/2023 at 1:19 PM, rage-a-holic said:

i know i only get half credit, but this is relevant and she does so much stupid shit.....

Driving around Puebla at night in her RAV4:

Me: People keep flashing their lights at you, do you have your brights on?

Her: What are brights?

Me: Your high beams...the high setting on the headlights?

Her: Blank stare

Me: Headlights have a low setting and a high setting. The high setting blinds other drivers at night and they usually flash their high beams at you so you'll turn yours off

Her: How would I even know they are on?

Me: Theres a bright blue headlight indicator that turns on....like the one right in front of you

Her: Oh thats always on, you can't turn it off

Me: *Reaches over and pulls back on the turn signal lever, brights turn off

Her: I can't tell the difference

 

She had probably been driving for 6 months with her brights on every night.

Did she grow up with a Dad around? If so, this is on him.

[rage-a-holic 4,450]

46 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Did she grow up with a Dad around? If so, this is on him.

meh, he taught her about guns, so it's a wash. 

Like I said, in Mexico, pretty girls don't do car maintenance, and most Mexican dads don't teach their daughters about cars. It's a very macho culture, and it's expected there will always be a man around to fix stuff.

[WhatTheBuck 28,797]

On 6/23/2023 at 2:19 PM, rage-a-holic said:

i know i only get half credit, but this is relevant and she does so much stupid shit.....

Driving around Puebla at night in her RAV4:

Me: People keep flashing their lights at you, do you have your brights on?

Her: What are brights?

Me: Your high beams...the high setting on the headlights?

Her: Blank stare

Me: Headlights have a low setting and a high setting. The high setting blinds other drivers at night and they usually flash their high beams at you so you'll turn yours off

Her: How would I even know they are on?

Me: Theres a bright blue headlight indicator that turns on....like the one right in front of you

Her: Oh thats always on, you can't turn it off

Me: *Reaches over and pulls back on the turn signal lever, brights turn off

Her: I can't tell the difference

 

She had probably been driving for 6 months with her brights on every night.

Are you dating a 16-year-old?

[TrashMaster G 17,587]

56 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

meh, he taught her about guns, so it's a wash. 

Like I said, in Mexico, pretty girls don't do car maintenance, and most Mexican dads don't teach their daughters about cars. It's a very macho culture, and it's expected there will always be a man around to fix stuff.

All that machoness and they have a shitty national soccer team and worse fans.

But I bet your girl is hot.

[nnm 36,562]

On 6/23/2023 at 12:29 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

I'm in this camp. While my wife does get gas often. I try every Sunday to take her car and fill it up. Gives me a chance to everything is working how it should. 

Then I go get a beer at watch either NFL or MLB pregame before going home. Works for both of us

Cool story bro. 

[52-80 19,226]

We need to estimate the weight of sand with which to fill up the kids sandbox.  The box is approx 1m * 1m * 30cm. She knows as a matter of fact sand is ~3x more dense than water. 

She asks to borrow my phone to crunch the numbers. I held it back for a moment and challenged her “come on, you can work this one out…”

In return I received the dirty eye for the last 15 minutes  

[Kennythetiger 9,433]

On 6/23/2023 at 12:43 PM, tigol said:

Hey asshole, men do stupid shit all of the time. We’d run out of bandwidth to accommodate such a thread. This one is for wives.

It’s the “saying” part in our house. 

[Gil Bang 25,997]

and I'm back:

Just had a tenant vacate.  Dude was in my worst rental (and paid the lowest rent).  Was here for 6 years.  Moved to Germany, so, understandably, I suppose, he left some shit behind.  GF comes with me to trash out the place.  I'm donating anything usable, and the rest goes to the dump. 

There's a tire he left behind.  It's fairly new, and in chalk, "unrepairable" is written.  I'm figuring I'll take it to the mexican tire shop in the rough part of town, and give them 10 bucks to get rid of it. 

GF's idea: put it out by the street.

Me: who the fuck is gonna take a bad tire?

GF: somebody going to the beach that needs a fire ring

[Sam Lin 3,560]

She had it half right. Put it out on the street with a sign saying $10 and it'll make itself disappear quickly.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4,977]

On 6/22/2023 at 2:52 PM, Fudbelty said:

Probably been brought up eleventy times here. My favorite…

And let's not forget the text Monday morning..."you didn't put gas in the car?!?!?"

 

[52-80 19,226]

11 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

There's a tire he left behind.  It's fairly new, and in chalk, "unrepairable" is written.  I'm figuring I'll take it to the mexican tire shop in the rough part of town, and give them 10 bucks to get rid of it.

arent tire disposal fee at discount tire like $2.50

[SHOOTER12 8,819]

On 6/23/2023 at 12:59 PM, Armybrat said:

 

I like to fill our gas tanks up when they get down to half full. Mrs. Brat hasn’t pumped gas in our cars for 50 years.

 

 

Now that's a flashback reminder of life when I was a kid.

My mother, nor my grandmother's EVER pumped gas and I'm pretty sure they didn't know how. Even back then in the days of full service stations that was the man's or husband's responsibility. As kids, if we ever saw a woman at a "filling station", we surmised that it was an emergency or the man of the house was a sorry piece of shit.  I don't think she ever got gas when self service became the rage after my father's passing. Either my sisters or I always filled up/topped off her car.

Quick trivia:

The coolest (full service) station to get gas at was the station across the street from my parents grocery store and meat market. It was a Texaco and the owners name was Phillip Mittanck. Yes it was pronounced "fill up my tank", which he had printed out over the entry. After he passed away it was never the same when his son took over. "Dick Mittanck" just didn't quite work as well.

Edited June 26, 2023 by SHOOTER12

[nnm 36,562]

 

 

[Jerry Callo 8,720]

Automatic windshield wipers are a nice option.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

There needs to be some sort of backstory on how or why the camera just happens to be rolling right then and there…either camera man was in on it or this had happened to him before

Maybe she was having a heck of a time backing up to the landing

[nnm 36,562]

24 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

There needs to be some sort of backstory on how or why the camera just happens to be rolling right then and there…either camera man was in on it or this had happened to him before

Maybe she was having a heck of a time backing up to the landing

My guess is that he saw that it was a phenomenally bad idea to back that CRV into the soft sand (I don't think there's an actual ramp there), and knew it was going to end badly, so started filming.

Edited June 26, 2023 by nnm

[Dennis Taylor 18,853]

51 minutes ago, nnm said:

My guess is that he saw that it was a phenomenally bad idea to back that CRV into the soft sand (I don't think there's an actual ramp there), and knew it was going to end badly, so started filming.

And he saw the aggy stickers on the back

[CycleTex87 2,981]

Back in the day, my buddies and I used to enjoy just hanging out at the boat ramp under Loop 360 on Lake Austin on a Saturday afternoon and just watch the shenanigans as they happened.  Great entertainment.   

[Crapinon 2,265]

2 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Now that's a flashback reminder of life when I was a kid.

My mother, nor my grandmother's EVER pumped gas and I'm pretty sure they didn't know how. Even back then in the days of full service stations that was the man's or husband's responsibility. As kids, if we ever saw a woman at a "filling station", we surmised that it was an emergency or the man of the house was a sorry piece of shit.  I don't think she ever got gas when self service became the rage after my father's passing. Either my sisters or I always filled up/topped off her car.

Quick trivia:

The coolest (full service) station to get gas at was the station across the street from my parents grocery store and meat market. It was a Texaco and the owners name was Phillip Mittanck. Yes it was pronounced "fill up my tank", which he had printed out over the entry. After he passed away it was never the same when his son took over. "Dick Mittanck" just didn't quite work as well.

This. In fact my mom never had a car. We were a one car family. My dad would drop her off at her office in downtown FW and pick her up after work.   

[Frank Drebin 5,649]

On 6/25/2023 at 2:31 AM, 52-80 said:

We need to estimate the weight of sand with which to fill up the kids sandbox.  The box is approx 1m * 1m * 30cm. She knows as a matter of fact sand is ~3x more dense than water. 

She asks to borrow my phone to crunch the numbers. I held it back for a moment and challenged her “come on, you can work this one out…”

In return I received the dirty eye for the last 15 minutes  

[TrashMaster G 17,587]

On 6/22/2023 at 12:37 PM, Kennythetiger said:

Shouldn’t you be……working?  

Shut up, boss.  Go bug someone who doesn't get shit done.

[ABSR 5,321]

1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

And he saw the aggy stickers on the back

And an woman behind the wheel.