Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[Kennythetiger 9377]

14 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I actually think that’s the source.  I’ve had Parks & Rec on in the background for years 

Your mistake- if you played The Office instead, she’d be walking around yelling “That’s what she said!”  

[ztejas 43418]

1 hour ago, Lidig8r said:

Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, but I attend a small state university in the south. I am in a frat and love the Greek life. We throw frequent parties in which we float a number of kegs and try to loosen the morals (and legs) of as many coeds as possible. But recently, a local 35 year old MILF has begun to attend our parties. She is fun, is really hot as in 5'6", about 125 lbs, blondish hair falling to just below her shoulders and her measurements are 36D, 26, 36. So, you might be wondering how I know her exact measurements ... and that is where this story REALLY begins ...

There's no way that chick is that hot. 

[nnm 36360]

2 minutes ago, ztejas said:

There's no way that chick is that hot. 

[Al_4_ISU 12457]

45 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Your mistake- if you played The Office instead, she’d be walking around yelling “That’s what she said!”  

I think I could get sick of that too.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

7 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I think I could get sick of that too.

That's what she said 

[davidg 4036]

On 7/12/2023 at 10:05 PM, msucolt45 said:

I’ve been married for 31 years, but roughly the last two decades, my wife started saying “you know what I’m saying” for every F’ng thing! I really don’t know where she picked that up, but “You know what I’m saying?”

Hook’em!!!

[Jameslaw121 4448]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

There's no way that chick is that hot. 

Yeah, well 20 year old college me after a couple of beers probably wouldn't have cared. My standards were less of a scale from 1-10 and more binary. 

[Guadaloopy 10960]

Re: wine glasses.  My wife inherited her Grandmother's crystal a few years back.  I guess the fact that she was never allowed to touch it as a child has created an incessant desire to touch it and use it as an adult.  Every time she gets herself a glass of wine, she uses a an antique, irreplaceable crystal wine glass, and then leaves it on the end table or right on the edge of the kitchen sink.  Haven't broken one yet, but I know the day will come and the wailing will be epic.  And it will somehow be my fault.  

[AUS-97HORN 11757]

28 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Re: wine glasses.  My wife inherited her Grandmother's crystal a few years back.  I guess the fact that she was never allowed to touch it as a child has created an incessant desire to touch it and use it as an adult.  Every time she gets herself a glass of wine, she uses a an antique, irreplaceable crystal wine glass, and then leaves it on the end table or right on the edge of the kitchen sink.  Haven't broken one yet, but I know the day will come and the wailing will be epic.  And it will somehow be my fault.  

interesting tactic, posting this, knowing your wife has her own account here and at some point will probably read it. 

is this your pre-emptive "told you so" for when it happens?

[Biff Tannen 45673]

2 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

interesting tactic, posting this, knowing your wife has her own account here and at some point will probably read it. 

huh?

[Upgrayedd 5810]

1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

interesting tactic, posting this, knowing your wife has her own account here and at some point will probably read it. 

is this your pre-emptive "told you so" for when it happens?

 

16 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

huh?

Pics?

[Guadaloopy 10960]

1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

... knowing your wife has her own account here and at some point will probably read it...

I've shared it elsewhere, so this isn't a big reveal, but my wife is a Sooner.  The level of disdain she has for this site is palpable.

Edited July 14, 2023 by Guadaloopy

[Sandman 3403]

2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

Re: wine glasses.  My wife inherited her Grandmother's crystal a few years back.  I guess the fact that she was never allowed to touch it as a child has created an incessant desire to touch it and use it as an adult.  Every time she gets herself a glass of wine, she uses a an antique, irreplaceable crystal wine glass, and then leaves it on the end table or right on the edge of the kitchen sink.  Haven't broken one yet, but I know the day will come and the wailing will be epic.  And it will somehow be my fault.  

My parents bought all kinds of crystal drinkware when I was a kid. After my mom died 15 years ago, my dad kept pushing us to take some. My sister took a few pieces but he keeps bugging her about it. Now she's trying to get him to pester me instead. Fuck that noise. 

[txhorns 2409]

3 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

I've shared it elsewhere, so this isn't a big reveal, but my wife is a Sooner.  The level of disdain she has for this site is palpable.

Best way to handle a sooner for a wife is by sharing her nudes on a Texas website.

[ABSR 5309]

16 minutes ago, txhorns said:

Best way to handle a sooner for a wife is by sharing her nudes on a Texas website.

And you have already said she will never visit the site. 

Perfect crime!

[gofuckyourself 8210]

She's a proper lady, and y'all need to respect their privacy.

[Guadaloopy 10960]

28 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

She's a proper lady, and y'all need to respect their privacy.

Knew this was coming.

[Superhero 8828]

My friend who drove to SD last week… 

 

 

Radio silence after that.

He’ll probably come to me on Sunday and complain about how the kids didn’t really need him.

 

 

I seriously want to do this to him.

[SHOOTER12 8800]

17 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Lol I know a guy that says "literally " at least once in every conversation and he pronounces it "lit-trally"

How does he pronounce latrine?

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

Din din? No self respecting man talks like that.

[SHOOTER12 8800]

4 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Din din? No self respecting man talks like that.

Not until alzheimers/dementia starts taking hold, or when talking to my dog...

Edited July 15, 2023 by SHOOTER12

[Frank The Tank 1497]

6 hours ago, Superhero said:

My friend who drove to SD last week… 

 

 

Radio silence after that.

He’ll probably come to me on Sunday and complain about how the kids didn’t really need him.

 

 

I seriously want to do this to him.

Hang on.  Who are we making fun of here and why? The guy who is staying home to take care of his kids while his wife is sick? Other than the din din comment, this is what a man acts like. 

[Kennythetiger 9377]

6 hours ago, Superhero said:

My friend who drove to SD last week… 

 

 

Radio silence after that.

He’ll probably come to me on Sunday and complain about how the kids didn’t really need him.

 

 

I seriously want to do this to him.

Dude- get off his ass. 

[SilasCoade 2622]

Was this one of those men's rights groups? Your advice was terrible.

[Francisco 2.0 32389]

This one of ya'll?

 

 

 

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

On 7/12/2023 at 2:20 PM, nnm said:

When Mrs NNM wants me or someone else to do something, the way she asks is “do you want to ….,” e.g.: “do you want to go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  This particularly rankles our son in law.

I’ve explained many times that invariably, the honest answer to such a question is no. The person doesn’t really WANT to do the task, but will be happy to if asked nicely.

A better way to phrase the question is “Would you please go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  

The preferred method of stating the question is never used  

 

My wife always asks, “Will you do something for me?”

My answer every time is, “Probably. What?”

I’m a man of few words  

 

[Biff Tannen 45673]

9 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Not until alzheimers/dementia starts taking hold, or when talking to my dog...

[Biff Tannen 45673]

3 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

Hang on.  Who are we making fun of here and why? The guy who is staying home to take care of his kids while his wife is sick? Other than the din din comment, this is what a man acts like. 

 

3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Dude- get off his ass. 

 

3 hours ago, SilasCoade said:

Was this one of those men's rights groups? Your advice was terrible.

Oh wait, this was real?  I thought it was like stupid shit you see on facebook or something.

A men's rights group?  At a church?  That's some weird shit.

[Superhero 8828]

2 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

Hang on.  Who are we making fun of here and why? The guy who is staying home to take care of his kids while his wife is sick? Other than the din din comment, this is what a man acts like. 

 

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Dude- get off his ass. 

 

2 hours ago, SilasCoade said:

Was this one of those men's rights groups? Your advice was terrible.

I stand by my words. I’ve known them for a long time now and he’s one of the nicest guys I know and his wife walks all over him. Even my wife looked at the text chain and said he needs to stand up for himself.

If the kids were 3 and 1, then I’d give them a pass, but they’re 12 and 10 and don’t need a babysitter.

 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

I wouldn’t want to go either. Saying din din like that is code for not wanting to go. Wife probably isn’t even sick. He’s just trying to change the subject multiple times so you’d shut up

[royiv 9286]

26 minutes ago, Superhero said:

 

 

I stand by my words. I’ve known them for a long time now and he’s one of the nicest guys I know and his wife walks all over him. Even my wife looked at the text chain and said he needs to stand up for himself.

If the kids were 3 and 1, then I’d give them a pass, but they’re 12 and 10 and don’t need a babysitter.

 

He’s a bigger man than you for not wanting to go to some men’s group circle jerk at a church. He probably stayed home, ate a big steak, drank a good scotch and plowed his wife. Like a real man.

[Frank The Tank 1497]

On 7/12/2023 at 3:20 PM, nnm said:

When Mrs NNM wants me or someone else to do something, the way she asks is “do you want to ….,” e.g.: “do you want to go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  This particularly rankles our son in law.

I’ve explained many times that invariably, the honest answer to such a question is no. The person doesn’t really WANT to do the task, but will be happy to if asked nicely.

A better way to phrase the question is “Would you please go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  

The preferred method of stating the question is never used  

 

It’s an epidemic or contagious. My wife and mother-in-law both do this and now my mom has started it as well. My response every time is “No, but I will if you ask nicely.”

 

[txhorns 2409]

2 minutes ago, royiv said:

He’s a bigger man than you for not wanting to go to some men’s group circle jerk at a church. He probably stayed home, ate a big steak, drank a good scotch and plowed his wife. Like a real man.

Very unlikely that he plowed his WIFE.  That’s a rare feat for most men on any given night.

[SilasCoade 2622]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

 

 

I stand by my words. I’ve known them for a long time now and he’s one of the nicest guys I know and his wife walks all over him. Even my wife looked at the text chain and said he needs to stand up for himself.

If the kids were 3 and 1, then I’d give them a pass, but they’re 12 and 10 and don’t need a babysitter.

 

I stand by my words.

[Brisketexan 105095]

My wife always asks, “Will you do something for me?”
My answer every time is, “Probably. What?”
I’m a man of few words  
 

That’s my exact answer to the same repeated question. Don’t ask me two questions, ask one efficient one.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21898]

It would be a lot more efficient to just say "No" and walk away (quickly)

[nnm 36360]

2 hours ago, Superhero said:

 

 

I stand by my words. I’ve known them for a long time now and he’s one of the nicest guys I know and his wife walks all over him. Even my wife looked at the text chain and said he needs to stand up for himself.

If the kids were 3 and 1, then I’d give them a pass, but they’re 12 and 10 and don’t need a babysitter.

 

Team @Superhero here. It doesn’t sound like a “men’s rights” rally at a church.  More like a seminar/teaching to help men figure out how to be the man that their children, wife, friends, and church need them to be. Our culture is completely bankrupt on that issue, and it sounds like exactly what this guy needs. Whether he’s deflecting or not, it sounds like exactly what he needs. 

[honolulu horn 6158]

Superhero is right, his friend is too nice. He's too nice to tell Superhero to fuck off and stop riding him for not attending some bullshit church event. 

[ztejas 43418]

11 minutes ago, nnm said:

Team @Superhero here. It doesn’t sound like a “men’s rights” rally at a church.  More like a seminar/teaching to help men figure out how to be the man that their children, wife, friends, and church need them to be. Our culture is completely bankrupt on that issue, and it sounds like exactly what this guy needs. Whether he’s deflecting or not, it sounds like exactly what he needs. 

This dude drove 50 miles to check his wife's 29 PSI tire. 

I agree he could probably use a little men's support group time and get out of the house. 

[Biff Tannen 45673]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

This dude drove 50 miles to check his wife's 29 PSI tire. 

I agree he could probably use a little men's support group time and get out of the house. 

[Superhero 8828]

32 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Yes

[Jameslaw121 4448]

16 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Yes

Yeah, I was going to go Anti- Superhero on this until I realized its also PSI guy. Welp. Nevermind. I'm now pro Superhero.

I'll confess, my first read through of the screen shot reminded me of the probably thousands of times I've used my wife or kids being "sick" to get out of shit I agreed to go to when I was drunk.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Biff- superhero’s friend is the greatest man to ever live. That din din he made is worth………well it’s worth more than your whole life, man

[SHOOTER12 8800]

14 hours ago, nnm said:

Team @Superhero here. It doesn’t sound like a “men’s rights” rally at a church.  More like a seminar/teaching to help men figure out how to be the man that their children, wife, friends, and church need them to be. Our culture is completely bankrupt on that issue, and it sounds like exactly what this guy needs. Whether he’s deflecting or not, it sounds like exactly what he needs. 

This dude has it right. Well said brother...although being the man/husband my wife needs/wants me to be would mean I was dead. Sad but true...

[SHOOTER12 8800]

20 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

This one of ya'll?

 

 

 

WTH is that? Ignorant minds want to know.

[GoPokes83 2240]

I'd love to have the time to spend hours tending an off set.  But the pellet grill lets me get 95% of the way there and still live my life.

But how much of a life can it really be if you don’t get to spend time tending an offset?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21898]

10 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

WTH is that? Ignorant minds want to know.

Obviously it's something that turns water into Hydrogen Peroxide

[Sandman 3403]

A guy that uses both "din-din" and "kiddos" in a conversation needs to to be slapped. What's next, "fur-baby"? Slippery slope and all that.

[leaf 684]

On 6/2/2023 at 7:41 PM, leaf said:

My wife cleaned the garage today while I was at work.  

 

 

I can't find a box of 20x30x1 air filters. 

A set of screwdrivers is MIA.

Tools that I use regularly were thrown into a tote box and buried under other totes of Christmas ornaments.

But, I was the asshole for not thanking her for "cleaning" the garage.

 

 

[tx ind 7012]

17 hours ago, Sandman said:

A guy that uses both "din-din" and "kiddos" in a conversation needs to to be slapped. What's next, "fur-baby"? Slippery slope and all that.

Probably attends numerous gender reveal parties too.