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Posted
This fire is about 4 miles from my house. The smoke is moving directly over our house. My wife is pissed because I haven't taken her to dinner 
IMG_2085.thumb.jpg.2b60ca61108490f20a1e06604e34b907.jpg

Throw some chicken in the back yard, looks like it’ll be done in about 3 hours.
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Posted
Mrs. CHIEF, CHIEF Jr., his gf, and I are sitting around the living room the other night bullshitting, and Mrs. CHIEF gives me the "you need to quit interrupting me, its rude" line. The only time I interrupt is to tell her to "please, get to the point." Which may be a time or two in an hour long socializing conversation . CHIEF Jr. proceeds to rattle off about a dozen, "MOM, let dad finish what he was saying, you're being rude!" in a little less than five minutes. After the last one, he turned and gave me a wink. I don't think I have been more satisfied in my life. It was like the end of round three in the sack, when we were newlyweds.
CHIEF
 

I’m quite sure she learned her lesson
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Posted
1 hour ago, tbone_ said:


I’m quite sure she learned her lesson

One of the main reasons she has hardly ever made an appearance on this page, is she owns up to her shit. She actually apologized and said she never realized she was worse about it than I am.  She will even admit when I'm right, and she is wrong, a true unicorn.

CHIEF

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Posted
31 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

One of the main reasons she has hardly ever made an appearance on this page, is she owns up to her shit. She actually apologized and said she never realized she was worse about it than I am.  She will even admit when I'm right, and she is wrong, a true unicorn.

CHIEF

Get that shit right up on out of here, if you please...

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Posted
9 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Mrs. CHIEF, CHIEF Jr., his gf, and I are sitting around the living room the other night bullshitting, and Mrs. CHIEF gives me the "you need to quit interrupting me, its rude" line. The only time I interrupt is to tell her to "please, get to the point." Which may be a time or two in an hour long socializing conversation . CHIEF Jr. proceeds to rattle off about a dozen, "MOM, let dad finish what he was saying, you're being rude!" in a little less than five minutes. After the last one, he turned and gave me a wink. I don't think I have been more satisfied in my life. It was like the end of round three in the sack, when we were newlyweds.

CHIEF

 

My wife does this. Instead of saying "please, get to the point" try "short story long....". Your wife will appreciate it. 

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Posted
16 hours ago, irishtexan said:

My wife does this. Instead of saying "please, get to the point" try "short story long....". Your wife will appreciate it. 

Also, if she's mad, tell her to, "calm down."  Works like a charm.

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

Calm your titties usually leads to a night or two on the couch.

Joke is then I have to do the Happy Gilmore apology

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Then we have make up sex. 

Seems like a win in retrospect.

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Posted
I use "You need to stop. You sound like your mother."

I use “I swear, when You act like this I wish I could time travel to 1977 and kick your dad in the balls and tell him to be a better parent”

(I’m gray, like most women she doesn’t compute nuance)
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Posted

Calm your titties just earned me a strange glance. My wife is a genuine hero whose daily routine deals with heinous shit that you and I cant imagine. (She was up at 2:30 this morning waiting on a dad flying in from out of state to pick up two toddlers that were kidnapped, to top off a day that started with an ER doc reporting vaginal lacerations on a little kid then went straight to a few hours in court testifying about a mom leaving her 2 year old at home alone while she turned tricks and bought drugs. The speaker of the house’s wife was ad litem on that one, she’s a good egg)

Still, this:

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Posted

17 years. Sometimes I wish she would quit and get a cushy corporate gig, but I knew what I was signing up for. She gets to retire early. She is good at compartmentalizing the job.

The best part about yesterday was when she FaceTimed the dad and let him talk to his daughters.

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Posted
39 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Calm your titties just earned me a strange glance. My wife is a genuine hero whose daily routine deals with heinous shit that you and I cant imagine. (She was up at 2:30 this morning waiting on a dad flying in from out of state to pick up two toddlers that were kidnapped, to top off a day that started with an ER doc reporting vaginal lacerations on a little kid then went straight to a few hours in court testifying about a mom leaving her 2 year old at home alone while she turned tricks and bought drugs. The speaker of the house’s wife was ad litem on that one, she’s a good egg)

Still, this:

c8bd59c8f96b9dd2a9c7469309ccb3a7.jpg

We have a friend that’s a forensic interviewer for CPS. Daily stories of the worst of the worst. Can’t imagine. 
My sister and her husband did defense work for their entire careers. Those folks, the prosecutors, the police, they all see the worst side of humanity daily. It almost invariably leads to cynicism and hardness, using dark humor to cope, which is the least harmful coping mechanism. 
Sounds like you and your wife are doing well with it. Good for you. It’s a brutal career and I’m glad someone does it. I couldn’t. 

Posted
1 hour ago, BearSchlong said:

Calm your titties just earned me a strange glance. My wife is a genuine hero whose daily routine deals with heinous shit that you and I cant imagine. (She was up at 2:30 this morning waiting on a dad flying in from out of state to pick up two toddlers that were kidnapped, to top off a day that started with an ER doc reporting vaginal lacerations on a little kid then went straight to a few hours in court testifying about a mom leaving her 2 year old at home alone while she turned tricks and bought drugs. The speaker of the house’s wife was ad litem on that one, she’s a good egg)

Still, this:

c8bd59c8f96b9dd2a9c7469309ccb3a7.jpg

You took a bath?

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Posted
You took a bath?

You don’t?

She keeps the AC at 65 at night, I use the hot bath to get warm and pop my spine, then rinse off in the shower. Not every day but I had a 6 am flight and woke up shivering.
Posted
10 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:


You don’t?

She keeps the AC at 65 at night, I use the hot bath to get warm and pop my spine, then rinse off in the shower. Not every day but I had a 6 am flight and woke up shivering.

.No, not since about 2nd or 3rd grade I'd guess. A hot shower in the morning would have fixed the shivering 

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Posted
We have a friend that’s a forensic interviewer for CPS. Daily stories of the worst of the worst. Can’t imagine. 
My sister and her husband did defense work for their entire careers. Those folks, the prosecutors, the police, they all see the worst side of humanity daily. It almost invariably leads to cynicism and hardness, using dark humor to cope, which is the least harmful coping mechanism. 
Sounds like you and your wife are doing well with it. Good for you. It’s a brutal career and I’m glad someone does it. I couldn’t. 

She’s the invest supervisor. Maxing out the 3 year wage scale for pension.

She grew up around LEO, her dad was the only fed who could stomach being present at James Byrd’s autopsy.

I’m the analytical one, so after a tough day I start counting up the resources the state spends to stick a finger in the leaky dam of criminal/shitty parenting and I’m “hmm, so cops, overhead, CPS, overhead, lawyers, overhead, by my count that addict just cost society $40k minimum.

Did y’all know that kids in the foster care system get a full ride to state universities?
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Posted
.No, not since about 2nd or 3rd grade I'd guess. A hot shower in the morning would have fixed the shivering 

Were you raised by wolves?

Not even for a romantic getaway hotel sex bathtub blowjob?

#selfcare
Posted
11 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:


Were you raised by wolves?

Not even for a romantic getaway hotel sex bathtub blowjob?

#selfcare

Hotel bathtub?!? Human Petrie dish. 

Posted
2 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Calm your titties just earned me a strange glance. My wife is a genuine hero whose daily routine deals with heinous shit that you and I cant imagine. (She was up at 2:30 this morning waiting on a dad flying in from out of state to pick up two toddlers that were kidnapped, to top off a day that started with an ER doc reporting vaginal lacerations on a little kid then went straight to a few hours in court testifying about a mom leaving her 2 year old at home alone while she turned tricks and bought drugs. The speaker of the house’s wife was ad litem on that one, she’s a good egg)

Still, this:

c8bd59c8f96b9dd2a9c7469309ccb3a7.jpg

Jesus, just how much did she drop? I drop some every morning but have never had to get any of it out. 

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Posted
Just now, WhatTheBuck said:

Jesus, just how much did she drop? I drop some every morning but have never had to get any of it out. 

That’s what the poop knife is for. 

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Posted
6 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.

That’s some people’s fetish, to be sure. 

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