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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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huge

huge 3795

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, dbagg said:

My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

If it is the one my wife tried to buy they also weigh like 80lbs.  

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McCroskey
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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
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From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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Brew

Brew 3049

Posted
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Every time we drive somewhere separate my wife parks on the opposite side of the parking lot for some stupid reason. I’m typically always the first one there and will park where there are spaces together, she never parks there.

She wanted help loading a new Christmas tree today, so she followed me over there on my way back to work. I pull in, park near the store exit with spaces all around for easy out like a normal person, she goes down past the entrance to the far side of the lot and parks. She did offer me a ride back to my vehicle, I just walked off.

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Superhero

Superhero 8842

Posted
Posted

My BIL had/has health issues, so he's always looking for things to improve his health, from osteopathy, acupuncture, specialized chiropractic care... the list is long and distinguished. My wife listens and usually wants to try what he's doing, which often means $$$ wasted.

His most recent discovery is working out on special machines that are tailored EXACTLY for the person. Every workout requires a technician there, doing body scans, adjusting the gear settings. Gym membership is only $350/month. Of course my wife wants to try it as well.

Me: "Why do you always want to try what your brother is doing?"

Her:

Nuclear Explosion GIF - Nuclear Explosion Bomb - Discover ...

 

I walked right into that one, especially since I know she's hypersensitive about me talking about her and her family. So imagine her reaction if she ever reads this. Haha.

If I die, please clear my browsing history and the contents of nightstand bottom drawer.

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted

Had a bit of a moment this morning.  I was making olive relish for muffulettas .  I got lectured on how to wash dishes and realized you know what, the moment you criticize something I’m doing,  it’s yours.  Don’t like it?  Do it yourself.  I’m still washing dishes but I feel better about it.  

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nnm

nnm 36639

Posted
Posted (edited)

It’s fall/thanksgiving decorations season. 

We went to the storage unit today to get the fall/Thanksgiving decorations.

When we went to the unit today, oddly, all the fall/tgvng stuff wasn’t all in one place. 2/3 of the unit had to be emptied to get them all, including 4/5 of the Xmas stuff. Kids and sons-in-law weren’t here today, so it’s all on my back. 

Mrs. NNM has been present for the holiday decoration shuffle every season since and including last year’s Christmas decoration takedown/storage.

We had all the kids and sons-in-law here for new year’s, so they all helped us take down Christmas last year and we all went together (including Mrs. NNM) to stack them in the storage unit. She supervised that operation. 

Today, when we discovered that the fall/tgvng stuff was a bit dispersed, Mrs. NNM got frustrated and said at least three times “I have a system.”  

When I proceeded to methodically (with a bit of a surly attitude) empty the unit to a degree that all the fall/tgvng stuff could be found, she said “why are you being passive aggressive?”  

I was not gruntled. 

Edited by nnm
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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, nnm said:

It’s fall/thanksgiving decorations season. 

We went to the storage unit today to get the fall/Thanksgiving decorations.

When we went to the unit today, oddly, all the fall/tong stuff wasn’t all in one place. 2/3 of the unit had to be emptied to get them all, including 4/5 of the Xmas stuff. Kids and sons-in-law weren’t here today, so it’s all on my back. 

Mrs. NNM has been present for the holiday decoration shuffle every season since and including last year’s Christmas decoration takedown/storage.

We had all the kids and sons-in-law here for new year’s, so they all helped us take down Christmas last year and we all went together (including Mrs. NNM) to stack them in the storage unit. She supervised that operation. 

Today, when we discovered that the fall/tgvng stuff was a bit dispersed, Mrs. NNM got frustrated and said at least three times “I have a system.”  

When I proceeded to methodically (with a bit of a surly attitude) empty the unit to a degree that all the fall/tgvng stuff could be found, she said “why are you being passive aggressive?”  
 

I was not gruntled. 

You keep decorations in a fucking storage unit?  I’m apparently doing Amurica wrong.  

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Crapinon

Crapinon 2269

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Had a bit of a moment this morning.  I was making olive relish for muffulettas .  I got lectured on how to wash dishes and realized you know what, the moment you criticize something I’m doing,  it’s yours.  Don’t like it?  Do it yourself.  I’m still washing dishes but I feel better about it.  

I figured out the best way to get out of "helping" around the house is do a crappy job of whatever requested. She gets mad and says "If you can't do it right, I'll do it myself". 

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nnm

nnm 36639

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

You keep decorations in a fucking storage unit?  I’m apparently doing Amurica wrong.  

Yes, because I haven’t yet built the outbuilding.  We moved out here 2 years ago. We’ve had to do massive renovations to the house and I haven’t gotten around to building my storage outbuilding. It needs to be big enough for the riding mower and side-by-side, plus at least 4 rows of floor-to-ceiling shelving for the holiday stuff. And be weathertight (but I’m not putting a/c in there. Yet.)

Edited by nnm
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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, nnm said:

Yes, because I haven’t yet built the outbuilding.  We moved out here 2 years ago. We’ve had to do massive renovations to the house and I haven’t gotten around to building my storage outbuilding. It needs to be big enough for the riding mower and side-by-side, plus at least 4 rows of floor-to-ceiling shelving for the holiday stuff. And be weathertight (but I’m not putting a/c in there. Yet.)

You need a separate bay for the fake tits, then you’re all set.  

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
58 minutes ago, nnm said:

Yes, because I haven’t yet built the outbuilding.  We moved out here 2 years ago. We’ve had to do massive renovations to the house and I haven’t gotten around to building my storage outbuilding. It needs to be big enough for the riding mower and side-by-side, plus at least 4 rows of floor-to-ceiling shelving for the holiday stuff. And be weathertight (but I’m not putting a/c in there. Yet.)

I still can’t get over this.  There are kids coming over the border because their parents can’t afford to buy them tortillas, and we are putting decorations in storage units.  Happy fucking Hanukkah indeed.  

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3561

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Had a bit of a moment this morning.  I was making olive relish for muffulettas .  I got lectured on how to wash dishes and realized you know what, the moment you criticize something I’m doing,  it’s yours.  Don’t like it?  Do it yourself.  I’m still washing dishes but I feel better about it now I'm also not having sex.  

 

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nnm

nnm 36639

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I still can’t get over this.  There are kids coming over the border because their parents can’t afford to buy them tortillas, and we are putting decorations in storage units.  Happy fucking Hanukkah indeed.  

Both my wife and I work for a nonprofit providing free lifesaving and life changing health care to people in Africa. Tangibly caring for others and having holiday decorations in a storage unit are not mutually exclusive. 

Edited by nnm
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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9460

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I still can’t get over this.  There are kids coming over the border because their parents can’t afford to buy them tortillas, and we are putting decorations in storage units.  Happy fucking Hanukkah indeed.  

Something that’s very frustrating to me is when people who can’t afford to have children…have children. 

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, nnm said:

Both my wife and I work for a nonprofit providing free lifesaving land life changing health care to people in Africa. Tangibly caring for others and having holiday decorations in a storage unit are not mutually exclusive. 

Why can’t you work at providing healthcare and life changing shit here at home?  Fuck Africa.  Do I look like Sally fucking Struthers and have Sarah McClaughlin shooting out of my dick?  Sorry, I’ll get back to washing dishes.  

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Brew

Brew 3049

Posted
Posted
On 9/30/2023 at 1:38 PM, Kennythetiger said:

Something that’s very frustrating to me is when people who can’t afford to have children…have children. 

If everyone waited until they thought they could afford kids to have kids, there would be very few kids.

5 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

That was my immediate take as well.  How much money do people pay each month to keep shit that they don't use enough to keep in the house?

Welcome to the wives thread, first time visit? On a serious note, there is a reason storage units are going for astronomical multiples right now. People have too much shit combined with an annuitized billing methodology means 14x multiples.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8828

Posted
Posted
On 9/29/2023 at 2:14 PM, PvilleStang said:

What is it with wives and Christmas Trees in September?!  I've already been asked multiple times if we can put ours up now.  I'm really leaning towards a 10' skeleton just to push back the tree questions.

Shit, went to Lowes 3 days ago and it's Christmas stuff wall to wall. Screw that shit. 

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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 1968

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Posted

Yesterday wife went to the grocery store.  When I heard the garage door open I went out to help carry stuff in the house.  We had briefly discussed dinner plans earlier in the day.

Me:  So, do you want me to grill that chicken for dinner?

Her:  Oh! I put it in the freezer earlier!

Me:  Don't worry.  I took it out. (Because we had discussed cooking it.)

Her:  Well, I bought these southwest salads at the grocery store...

Me:  Just yes or no, please.  Do you want me to grill the chicken?

Her:  Tone.

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