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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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PvilleStang

PvilleStang 2875

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Crapinon said:

Probably should go in the divorce thread but I'm not divorced so I'll put it here. 

"Referencing research pertaining to corporate psychopaths and how they operate in high-achieving roles in workplaces, Dr. Boddy explains female psychopaths tend to be more manipulative than males, use different techniques to create good impressions, and use deceit and sexually seductive behavior to gain social and financial advantages more often than male psychopaths." 

https://studyfinds.org/female-psychopaths-are-surprisingly-common/

An old boss of mine comes to mind here.  She got mad because her flirtatious manipulation wasn't working with me (she wasn't my type...).  Somehow she blew the right people though to end up a C level around the Austin government.

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Da Fino

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Posted
Posted
53 minutes ago, uoftorange said:

Our sons were friends since 2nd grade and we became friends over the years.  Eventually I got divorced from my ex, and his wife introduced me to her sister.  Now they are my in laws

Ok.  That makes sense. Thanks.

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11034

Posted
Posted

 

Last night wife comes downstairs and asks me if I know how to take the battery out of a laptop. 

I say what are you talking about?

While she was working, suddenly the laptop shut off, and won't restart. According to some website, the first thing to do is take out the battery.

Yeah, that ain't happening. 

She comes down and hands me the laptop. Its so fucking hot it feels like its about to melt. I ask her where she was working. In the bed. What was the laptop resting on? A pillow. 

I say I got this. She goes away. I wait for the laptop to cool down, and restart it. 

I try to explain without tone that you can't rest it on a pillow or it overheats, and automatically shuts down to avoid damage. Apparently I did not succeed in the tone department. 

 

 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8800

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Crapinon said:

Probably should go in the divorce thread but I'm not divorced so I'll put it here. 

"Referencing research pertaining to corporate psychopaths and how they operate in high-achieving roles in workplaces, Dr. Boddy explains female psychopaths tend to be more manipulative than males, use different techniques to create good impressions, and use deceit and sexually seductive behavior to gain social and financial advantages more often than male psychopaths." 

https://studyfinds.org/female-psychopaths-are-surprisingly-common/

See also: Pharma sales reps at doctors offices.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9376

Posted
Posted

I finally have one. 
Yesterday I walked into her office as she was on the phone talking to a customer. “Yada yada yada, your payment is in the rear, yada yada yada.” 
Now what she does with her body is her own business but after she hung up I said, “Did you mean to tell that gentleman that his payment is in arrears?”  

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Modessit

Modessit 5598

Posted
Posted

When you get an Samsung phone, you set it up with a Gmail account to access the PlayStore. Pretty typical.

Well, my wife was setting up something for my daughter in YouTube and used her Gmail address, but then set it with my daughter's birth date so it will be age appropriate.

Now she gets a warning her Gmail will be deleted in 28 days because she's "too young to have an unsupervised Gmail account". I tell her she needs to go in and change the birth date before things on her phone stop working. She starts arguing with me about how she has a school email and doesn't care if her Gmail account gets deleted. I tell her she needs the Gmail account for her phone so the apps will update and work properly. I look into it and see she has to do the update on a computer and not on her phone. She tells me she'll "get to it later."

She calls me today to tell me her Maps directions say she's offline and won't update for traffic. She's got cell signal and everything, tried rebooting, etc. I ask if she's updated her Gmail account yet. Of course not.

She's got 3 weeks left.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28775

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Modessit said:

When you get an Samsung phone, you set it up with a Gmail account to access the PlayStore. Pretty typical.

Well, my wife was setting up something for my daughter in YouTube and used her Gmail address, but then set it with my daughter's birth date so it will be age appropriate.

Now she gets a warning her Gmail will be deleted in 28 days because she's "too young to have an unsupervised Gmail account". I tell her she needs to go in and change the birth date before things on her phone stop working. She starts arguing with me about how she has a school email and doesn't care if her Gmail account gets deleted. I tell her she needs the Gmail account for her phone so the apps will update and work properly. I look into it and see she has to do the update on a computer and not on her phone. She tells me she'll "get to it later."

She calls me today to tell me her Maps directions say she's offline and won't update for traffic. She's got cell signal and everything, tried rebooting, etc. I ask if she's updated her Gmail account yet. Of course not.

She's got 3 weeks left.

She’s probably right. I use various Google products without a gmail account. Google, YouTube, Google Maps, Google Drive. My Outlook email works just fine for all of them. (And fuck Google anyway because I’d prefer to not have them in my world at all and I long for the days before they were a thing.)

About her Maps problem. Do you even need to register to use Google Maps? I thought that was free use for everyone. 

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

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Posted (edited)

After the cracker barrel incident a couple of years ago. And the dead battery 5 years ago. I've decided to get out of any plans my in laws ever make if at all humanely possible. Example 3 @Knoxtnhorn

 

Sooo... we live in Allen, about an hour north of Downtown Dallas. A few weeks ago my wife said she was going to take the kids and go down to Austin (with her family) for her Grandmothers birthday. I said "Ok, that's fine. I'll probably need to work on that weekend so just don't include me in your parents/grandparents plans."

Fast forward to last night. "I'm probably going to go hang out with a couple of guys Saturday night."

Her : "You won't be home when we get home?"

Me :Thought you were going to be gone???"

Her : "We coming back after lunch."

After a long pause with a confused look on my face. "You're leaving Saturday morning? Are you driving with 3 kids under the age of 10 4+ hours to eat lunch and then driving back???? So like 9 hours in the car with a 6 month old, a 4 year old and a 10 year old?"

Her "When you say it like that it sounds like a stupid idea."

Me "I mean, it's your grandmother. I wouldn't do it, but whatever. Where are yall eating lunch?"

Her "................Denny's................"

 

 

Ngapa Reaction GIF by MOODMAN

Edited by Jameslaw121
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ztejas

ztejas 43412

Posted
Posted
On 2/28/2024 at 8:27 AM, Crapinon said:

Dr. Boddy explains female psychopaths tend to be more manipulative than males, use different techniques to create good impressions, and use deceit and sexually seductive behavior to gain social and financial advantages more often than male psychopaths."

I buy it. I'm not a psychopath but I have some sociopathic tendencies and can manipulate people easily. I rarely if ever manipulate anyone to the fullest extent I'm capable of because I'm also very empathetic and have a fairly solid moral compass and a good amount of integrity.

Your wives/ex-wives may or may not also have those characteristics.

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uoftorange

uoftorange 1386

Posted
Posted
41 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

After the cracker barrel incident a couple of years ago. And the dead battery 5 years ago. I've decided to get out of any plans my in laws ever make if at all humanely possible. Example 3 @Knoxtnhorn

 

Sooo... we live in Allen, about an hour north of Downtown Dallas. A few weeks ago my wife said she was going to take the kids and go down to Austin (with her family) for her Grandmothers birthday. I said "Ok, that's fine. I'll probably need to work on that weekend so just don't include me in your parents/grandparents plans."

Fast forward to last night. "I'm probably going to go hang out with a couple of guys Saturday night."

Her : "You won't be home when we get home?"

Me :Thought you were going to be gone???"

Her : "We coming back after lunch."

After a long pause with a confused look on my face. "You're leaving Saturday morning? Are you driving with 3 kids under the age of 10 4+ hours to eat lunch and then driving back???? So like 9 hours in the car with a 6 month old, a 4 year old and a 10 year old?"

Her "When you say it like that it sounds like a stupid idea."

Me "I mean, it's your grandmother. I wouldn't do it, but whatever. Where are yall eating lunch?"

Her "................Denny's................"

 

 

Ngapa Reaction GIF by MOODMAN

My grandma kicked all kinds of ass before she passed.  Spoke 7 languages, was 4'8 and made fun of her height constantly, she was hilarious, was Russian but born in china, her dad was a Russian spy before leaving in the revolution to China.  She was a freaking riot, could tell a great story and had tons of them.  Even then I'm not sure I'd drive 4 hours both ways for a lunch at Denny's unless I knew it was the last time...

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

Posted
Posted

Yeah. When I asked where they were eating. I wasn't being a dick. I figured they had something nice or different planned for the birthday. Like something special planned ..


But. I guess the rooti tooti fresh and fruity was good enough

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21469

Posted
Posted
Just now, Jameslaw121 said:

Yeah. When I asked where they were eating. I wasn't being a dick. I figured they had something nice or different planned for the birthday. Like something special planned ..


But. I guess the rooti tooti fresh and fruity was good enough

That’s IHOP.  Denny’s is the Grand Slam.  I have nothing against Denny’s, I ate breakfast there every time I went fishing with my grandpa as a kid, and plenty of times at 3 a.m. later in life.  Denny’s has a space in the restaurant universe that it occupies well, but I ain’t spending 8 hours in a car with 3 kids to eat a grand slam.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

Posted
Posted
Probably grandma's choice.

My wife grandmother (when still living) only ever wanted to go to one place - Luby's.
I think it was. I still put on whoever planned this to pick a restaurant. Or at least make an afternoon of it or something.
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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17550

Posted
Posted
On 2/29/2024 at 7:22 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

Yeah. When I asked where they were eating. I wasn't being a dick. I figured they had something nice or different planned for the birthday. Like something special planned ..


But. I guess the rooti tooti fresh and fruity was good enough

So, did she go through with it.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

Posted
Posted (edited)
23 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

So, did she go through with it.

No. he got out of it. Thank god

UPDATE : Apparently everyone who tired to go got stuck in traffic and never actually made it to Denny's and just drove/flew back to Dallas without seeing grandma

Edited by Jameslaw121
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UT_OB1

UT_OB1 2217

Posted
Posted

I just found an unopened Amazon box from 20 fucking 18. We needed a record play so bad we just couldn’t live without it. We have a cash flow problem, yet shit from Amazon just keeps showing up and getting shoved in a hole somewhere unopened. 
 

Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney Pixar

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Hook1997

Hook1997 5351

Posted
Posted
51 minutes ago, UT_OB1 said:

I just found an unopened Amazon box from 20 fucking 18. We needed a record play so bad we just couldn’t live without it. We have a cash flow problem, yet shit from Amazon just keeps showing up and getting shoved in a hole somewhere unopened. 
 

Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney Pixar

I mean that was like 5 years ago.  I’d take this one as a win and start jamming some records.  Just make sure she opens the boxes with the records in it that she buys now….. 

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UT_OB1

UT_OB1 2217

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, Hook1997 said:

I mean that was like 5 years ago.  I’d take this one as a win and start jamming some records.  Just make sure she opens the boxes with the records in it that she buys now….. 

we didn’t have any records then, and we still don’t have any now. 

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Budkudzu

Budkudzu 280

Posted
Posted

We went to the local Home Show yesterday so she could get some more ideas on how to spend money.  She went to a booth selling walk-in tubs. 

She asked the salesperson:  How does this work?  Do you get in, close the door and fill it up

Me:   I guess you could fill it up and then open the door, but that would be a little messy 

She:  Asshole

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APEX

APEX 63

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, UT_OB1 said:

I just found an unopened Amazon box from 20 fucking 18. We needed a record play so bad we just couldn’t live without it. We have a cash flow problem, yet shit from Amazon just keeps showing up and getting shoved in a hole somewhere unopened. 
 

Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney Pixar

phrasing

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9376

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Budkudzu said:

We went to the local Home Show yesterday so she could get some more ideas on how to spend money.  She went to a booth selling walk-in tubs. 

She asked the salesperson:  How does this work?  Do you get in, close the door and fill it up

Me:   I guess you could fill it up and then open the door, but that would be a little messy 

She:  Asshole

Go over the top like I do with ours. 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8800

Posted
Posted
On 3/6/2024 at 10:20 PM, ROFL BOX said:

Wife tonight:

 

"Do you need to show proof of insurance to buy new tires?"

Haysooscristi, what in the ever loving fuck.. I hope for your sake she can suck a bowling ball through a garden h...ose

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