Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[Beau Vine 54060]

4 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Until other proof is given, I'm saying it's all fake.

 

[Tex Long 4358]

19 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

 

I'll have a liter of the Bore Cure.

[Modessit 5597]

My favorite part was the little foot stomp on the way over. 
 
Apparently the wife got mauled, the second person who got out was her mother who got killed trying to save her. LOL? 

"Don't bitch at me! The last time you did it you lost your mom!"

[Superhero 8807]

1 hour ago, Modessit said:

On 5/8/2024 at 11:15 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

My favorite part was the little foot stomp on the way over. 
 
Apparently the wife got mauled, the second person who got out was her mother who got killed trying to save her. LOL? 

"Don't bitch at me! The last time you did it you lost your mom!"

[nnm 36223]

11 hours ago, Modessit said:

On 5/8/2024 at 1:15 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

My favorite part was the little foot stomp on the way over. 
 
Apparently the wife got mauled, the second person who got out was her mother who got killed trying to save her. LOL? 

"Don't bitch at me! The last time you did it you lost your mom!"

I guarantee that couple is not together. 100% guaranteed that she blames him for the whole thing. 

[BHMCruiser 1813]

On 5/8/2024 at 1:15 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

My favorite part was the little foot stomp on the way over. 
 

Apparently the wife got mauled, the second person who got out was her mother who got killed trying to save her. LOL? 

The MIL died?

That's extremely LOL. I was worried nobody was killed or injured in this otherwise wonderful scenario. 

[BHMCruiser 1813]

3 hours ago, nnm said:

I guarantee that couple is not together. 100% guaranteed that she blames him for the whole thing. 

win-win-win

[Modessit 5597]

The worst part is that the tiger was hungry again 30 minutes later.

[Jameslaw121 4447]

4 hours ago, Modessit said:

The worst part is that the tiger was hungry again 30 minutes later.

[nnm 36223]

Good chance one of y’all had an unusual situation at the new Whataburger in Glen Rose today. Sorry about that.

On a trip in January, we stopped for the bathroom for Mrs. NNM at a whataburger in Glen Rose, which was not yet open, and Mrs. NNM got the manager to let her use the bathroom anyway.  Haha funny story, right?

Well, today we’re passing through Glen Rose again, with Mrs. NNM’s sister “Trixie” in the car, and I told Trixie the story. We come upon the whataburger, and Mrs NNM and Trixie decide it’s a good idea to stop there for the bathroom on this trip too.  I park, Mrs NNM and Trixie go in, I stay in the car. 

It’s raining, so I decide to move the car to a spot closer to the door. I do that, and a few minutes later, another SUV, a black GMC, backs into the same spot that I was previously in, letting a kid out to run into Whataburger. We’re driving Mrs NNM’s grey Kia Telluride.  I always back in parking.

A few minutes later Mrs NNM comes out and gets in the car. We wait for Trixie, who had decided to get some fries. 

A few minutes go by, and I’m looking at the routes and rain radar on my phone. I look up, and Trixie is striding confidently ACROSS the parking lot, to the black GMC SUV. I yell “Mrs NNM, Trixie is about to get in that other car,” and Mrs NNM frantically tried to roll down her window to yell at Trixie. 

Sure enough, Trixie opens the back door to the GMC and is about to get in. The mom and the dad in the front seat look around at her like “what the what?!?”  Trixie notices a ukelele case on the seat and decides it’s not our car after all, and doesn’t get in. She says “Happy Mother’s Day!” and closes the door, coming back to our car. 

Good times were had by all. 

[Crapinon 2252]

My wife came home with an old worn out exercise someone was donating to Gooodwill. She had to have it so she could exercise at home. It remained in the corner of the bedroom 10 days before the first piece of clothing was draper over the handle bars.   

[hullabelew 3722]

On 5/8/2024 at 7:58 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

 

It's the same in every country.  Just got back from a 3 week trip to Italy.  I count 15 different arguments between couples, not including us.  Arguing out in the open.  EVERY fucking time, it was the female, bitching at the male.   Not once did we see a guy yelling at a female.  Bitches just aren't made to be happy, nor content.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21784]

16 hours ago, nnm said:

 I always back in parking.

You suck

[Biff Tannen 45580]

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

You suck

lol why?

[nnm 36223]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

lol why?

It’s a tired debate that has been hashed and rehashed here many times. Despite all relevant data showing that first-move-forward parking is the safest and best parking method, the haterz gonna hate. Someone somewhere inconvenienced them by 5 seconds while they backed into a space and they’re gonna oppose it until they die. Or back over a kid. Which happened to my cousin. 
 

The only time nose-in parking is the preferred way is in one-way herringbone lots. 

[Sam Lin 3545]

Preach.

[uoftorange 1386]

2 hours ago, nnm said:

It’s a tired debate that has been hashed and rehashed here many times. Despite all relevant data showing that first-move-forward parking is the safest and best parking method, the haterz gonna hate. Someone somewhere inconvenienced them by 5 seconds while they backed into a space and they’re gonna oppose it until they die. Or back over a kid. Which happened to my cousin. 
 

The only time nose-in parking is the preferred way is in one-way herringbone lots. 

Never mind they are just as annoyed at people parking in front first, which is actually more difficult to do well than backing in and causes back out and readjust in.  Team back in all day 'ery day

Edited May 13 by uoftorange

[ChickenSandwich 9810]

think you have to be over 45 and own multiple pairs of new balance shoes and bike shorts to back in park properly 

[Mittens 8199]

Been backing in since I was in my 20's.  Working as a valet helps.

I park however works for that particular spot.  Depending on how the adjacent cars have parked at HEB, sometimes it's backing in, but 90% of the time, it's nose first.

[huge 3789]

39 minutes ago, ChickenSandwich said:

think you have to be over 45 and own multiple pairs of new balance shoes and bike shorts to back in park properly 

I (48M) rock NB but not those shitty ones you reference.

FRESH FOAM

Back in preferred.

[ChickenSandwich 9810]

Acceptable 

[WhatTheBuck 28730]

2 hours ago, uoftorange said:

Never mind they are just as annoyed at people parking in front first, which is actually more difficult to do well than backing in and causes back out and readjust in.

Lulz. What a load of malarkey. I’m amazed you had the nerve to say it. 

[uoftorange 1386]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Lulz. What a load of malarkey. I’m amazed you had the nerve to say it. 

It's significantly easier to park a truck or large SUV backing in than it is nose in.  Maybe not a sedan or sports car, I'd say that's 50/50.  

And that's true without backup cameras.  However, with back up cameras I'm not sure how anyone could argue against it.  People just have more practice going the other way

Edited May 14 by uoftorange

[huge 3789]

There is a reason that some companies require executives to park nose out.  Liability.  It's more dangerous to park nose in according to the actuaries.

 

You can argue semantics but you cant argue with an actuary.

[rage-a-holic 4312]

58 minutes ago, huge said:

There is a reason that some companies require executives to park nose out.  Liability.  It's more dangerous to park nose in according to the actuaries.

 

You can argue semantics but you cant argue with an actuary.

Have these actuaries ever met a woman? 

If parking lots/garages starting requiring everyone to back in to a spot, global insurance claims would quadruple overnight.

[huge 3789]

3 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

Have these actuaries ever met a woman? 

If parking lots/garages starting requiring everyone to back in to a spot, global insurance claims would quadruple overnight.

Not according to the people that study this shit for a living.

But you're probably right of course.

[rage-a-holic 4312]

5 minutes ago, huge said:

Not according to the people that study this shit for a living.

But you're probably right of course.

not sure if serious but...

I would welcome this hilarious experiment. We could just start in Texas. Expecting the average soccer mom to safely back her Escalade/Tahoe/Suburban/Sequoia into every parking spot a dozen times per day is laughable. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21784]

Requiring everyone back into parking spots would definitely cut down on accidents because everyone would be spending all day idling in a parking lot waiting for idoits trying to back in their jacked up penis compensators and five row soccer mom suburbans

[Jerry Callo 8675]

95% of wives are not backing into parking places.  We should probably move on.

[Budkudzu 280]

On 5/13/2024 at 8:53 AM, hullabelew said:

It's the same in every country.  Just got back from a 3 week trip to Italy.  I count 15 different arguments between couples, not including us.  Arguing out in the open.  EVERY fucking time, it was the female, bitching at the male.   Not once did we see a guy yelling at a female.  Bitches just aren't made to be happy, nor content.  

You deserve a medal 

[Ten Bears 2479]

On 5/8/2024 at 10:13 PM, Beau Vine said:

 

Defeated and undefeated all in one clip.

Edited May 14 by Ten Bears

[TrashMaster G 17457]

15 minutes ago, Ten Bears said:

Defeated and undefeated all in one clip.

[ROFL BOX 6647]

On 5/12/2024 at 8:10 PM, Crapinon said:

My wife came home with an old worn out exercise [insert product here] someone was donating to Gooodwill. She had to have it so she could exercise at home. It remained in the corner of the bedroom 10 days before the first piece of clothing was draper over the handle bars.   

My usual question when someone has an exercise bike or treadmill (for sale / for giveaway) is always "How many clothes hangers can it hold on the handles?"

Edited May 17 by ROFL BOX

[ROFL BOX 6647]

Mrs. ROFL (& women everywhere): "Hmmm... let's get this pantry organized.
All of these product boxes (rice. Flour, pancake mix, etc.) PLUS "exotic" types of flour [self rising, all purpose, Keto friendly, whatevs]... such a disorganized mess eating up space.
I'm going to get specialty containers & straighten this out."
 
[...3 hours later voiceover...]

[Superhero 8807]

After almost 9 years in this house, my wife still can’t figure out which switch is for which light. When she gets to a bank of 2 or 3 switches, she’ll sometimes turn all of them on-off-on until she gets the light she wants and turns off the others.

Almost 9 years…

[Budkudzu 280]

I had a business trip from hell this week (stolen wallet, lost luggage, flight delays, useless meetings, etc).  Mrs. K calls yesterday while I'm cooling my heels in the airport to tell me that piece of shit Samsung washing machine she overpaid for less than 2 years ago is busted and the repair guy said it would cost more to fix than replace.   No surprise, so I agree we needed to buy a new one.  I get home and see an order for a new washer AND drier.  I ask what was wrong with the drier.  She says they have to match.  FML   

[uoftorange 1386]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

After almost 9 years in this house, my wife still can’t figure out which switch is for which light. When she gets to a bank of 2 or 3 switches, she’ll sometimes turn all of them on-off-on until she gets the light she wants and turns off the others.

Almost 9 years…

Lucky, my wife just leaves them all on after.  Sometimes I get lucky and the first one she touches is accidentally right.  I even rearranged them in a manner that she said made sense to her when we redid the kitchen.  Took me a day to relearn, she still has no idea even though it was her design

[TrashMaster G 17457]

1 hour ago, Budkudzu said:

I had a business trip from hell this week (stolen wallet, lost luggage, flight delays, useless meetings, etc).  Mrs. K calls yesterday while I'm cooling my heels in the airport to tell me that piece of shit Samsung washing machine she overpaid for less than 2 years ago is busted and the repair guy said it would cost more to fix than replace.   No surprise, so I agree we needed to buy a new one.  I get home and see an order for a new washer AND drier.  I ask what was wrong with the drier.  She says they have to match.  FML   

A little bit on you.  Shoulda seen that coming and laid down the law.

[Tex Long 4358]

Nothing specific, but here's a question. Is the ability to understand the concept of stacking [THINGS] as opposed to simply piling them up, a general behavior of the female humans?

[NorthLoop 14143]

26 minutes ago, Tex Long said:

Nothing specific, but here's a question. Is the ability to understand the concept of stacking [THINGS] as opposed to simply piling them up, a general behavior of the female humans?

It starts early. When my daughter puts away tupperware, it's like a fucking MC Escher picture in that cabinet. 

[Brisketexan 104793]

There is a reason that some companies require executives to park nose out.  Liability.  It's more dangerous to park nose in according to the actuaries.
 
You can argue semantics but you cant argue with an actuary.

Actually, the “back-in park” directive doesn’t come from a concept of “parking that way is safer to do” - it comes from a “in the event of a calamity and need to evacuate, it’s faster to do so if you’re already pointing towards the exit.” As was explained to me by site safety directors.
I’ve driven a big truck, I’ve driven a sedan, I’ve driven an SUV. They are all easier to park nose-in. Because you are going forward. I can back-in park fine, but rarely do so because it takes more time in total, unless you’ve got a great straight shot into the space. And I’m pretty good at it…90% of the people I observe doing it…are not. So I regularly have to wait while they manage a minute-long 17-point maneuver.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2730]

2 hours ago, Budkudzu said:

I had a business trip from hell this week (stolen wallet, lost luggage, flight delays, useless meetings, etc).  Mrs. K calls yesterday while I'm cooling my heels in the airport to tell me that piece of shit Samsung washing machine she overpaid for less than 2 years ago is busted and the repair guy said it would cost more to fix than replace.   No surprise, so I agree we needed to buy a new one.  I get home and see an order for a new washer AND drier.  I ask what was wrong with the drier.  She says they have to match.  FML   

No they don't.  Nobody sees them aside from your wife.  

[Budkudzu 280]

2 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

No they don't.  Nobody sees them aside from your wife.  

Yep, the two metal boxes in the laundry closet must match.  Maybe I'll get a Maytag sticker and put it on the current dryer. 

[Modessit 5597]

I had a business trip from hell this week (stolen wallet, lost luggage, flight delays, useless meetings, etc).  Mrs. K calls yesterday while I'm cooling my heels in the airport to tell me that piece of shit Samsung washing machine she overpaid for less than 2 years ago is busted and the repair guy said it would cost more to fix than replace.   No surprise, so I agree we needed to buy a new one.  I get home and see an order for a new washer AND drier.  I ask what was wrong with the drier.  She says they have to match.  FML   

Have her stand next to them and tell her: "I just want to make sure the dishwasher matches, too."

[UT_OB1 2203]

 

11 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Mrs. ROFL (& women everywhere): "Hmmm... let's get this pantry organized.
All of these product boxes (rice. Flour, pancake mix, etc.) PLUS "exotic" types of flour [self rising, all purpose, Keto friendly, whatevs]... such a disorganized mess eating up space.
I'm going to get specialty containers & straighten this out."
 
[...3 hours later voiceover...]

 

[NWBuck 8549]

12 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Mrs. ROFL (& women everywhere): "Hmmm... let's get this pantry organized.
All of these product boxes (rice. Flour, pancake mix, etc.) PLUS "exotic" types of flour [self rising, all purpose, Keto friendly, whatevs]... such a disorganized mess eating up space.
I'm going to get specialty containers & straighten this out."
 
[...3 hours later voiceover...]

 

This is my situation, on two levels- the "we need a system" and the "let's buy lots of this bullshit cooking ingredient that we only need one tablespoon of because we may use it in the future" genes.

For column A, my response is "The problem isn't the lack of a system, the problem is that none you believe it's not just easier to jam stuff back in the cabinet when you're done with it". Luckily, I have a box in my garage filled with remnants of three different "systems" that all ended up in the house under the guise of "But if I get this new thing, it'll motivate me to keep using it."  Unfortunately, that same logic gets shot down when included in my casual appreciation for her very attractive co-worker (no pics).

Column B is managed by my throwing away one box/container of the bullshit every two weeks. I'd like to report that no one notices, but I did have to deal with the "See! My new system works- look how much less crowded the cabinets are!" Which then led me again to retrieve the system in question from the box in the garage.

[ROFL BOX 6647]

12 hours ago, Tex Long said:

Nothing specific, but here's a question. Is the ability to understand the concept of stacking [THINGS] as opposed to simply piling them up, a general behavior of the female humans?

My 19 year old daughter *unloading the dishwasher has entered the chat.

 

*no pics, pervs.

[ROFL BOX 6647]

[Sam Lin 3545]

You seriously wanted your wife to go see if you had a valve cover gasket in the car?   hahahahahahahahaha.gif

[CycleTex87 2958]

Yeah, not sure I understand what stupid stuff occurred here, and by whom.