Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

High Plains Drifter · May 20

On 5/17/2024 at 9:47 AM, Superhero said:

After almost 9 years in this house, my wife still can’t figure out which switch is for which light. When she gets to a bank of 2 or 3 switches, she’ll sometimes turn all of them on-off-on until she gets the light she wants and turns off the others.

Almost 9 years…

good god this.

By the front door, there are two switches. One for the porch light, one for the light over the covered parking. I'll leave the parking light on, she'll come home, turn on the porch light, and leave the parking light on as well.

We've lived here for 18 years.

Sbbruin · May 20

Made some nice sous vide to seared pork chops which were finished in my perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet. My wife did the dishes. I needn't say what happened next. Stern words were had though.

TrashMaster G · May 20

🤷‍♂️

Sam Lin · May 21

1 hour ago, Sbbruin said:

My wife did the dishes. I needn't say what happened next.

She found the valve cover gasket?

Biff Tannen · May 21

2 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

She found the valve cover gasket?

She fixed the cable I think.

Biff Tannen · May 21

Flying back from Nola on Southwest this weekend and my wife asks how we put on the parachutes under our seats in the event of an emergency.

Not that Bob · May 21

4 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

Made some nice sous vide to seared pork chops which were finished in my perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet. My wife did the dishes. I needn't say what happened next. Stern words were had though.

If she can wield that skillet you best be judicious with the stern words.

BearMace · May 21

On 5/19/2024 at 8:10 PM, CycleTex87 said:

Yeah, not sure I understand what stupid stuff occurred here, and by whom.

I'd assumed it was the white outlined font choice.

Upgrayedd · May 21

5 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

Made some nice sous vide to seared pork chops which were finished in my perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet. My wife did the dishes. I needn't say what happened next. Stern words were had though.

You googled how to re-season a pan?

TrashMaster G · May 21

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

Flying back from Nola on Southwest this weekend and my wife asks how we put on the parachutes under our seats in the event of an emergency.

Pics of this dim beauty?

BearMace · May 21

On 5/19/2024 at 8:10 PM, CycleTex87 said:

Yeah, not sure I understand what stupid stuff occurred here, and by whom.

I'd assumed it was the white outlined font choice.

Beau Vine · May 21

Something little that amuses the hell out of me...

We got a ceiling fan with a remote control installed in our bedroom. The installer mounted this little plastic clip that holds the remote on the wall over by the door. Every time my wife goes to turn on/off the fan/light, she points the remote at the little clip on the wall.

Beau Vine · May 21

Stolen from another thread:

Sam Lin · May 21

Actually a really tame bull. She coulda just walked away with most of her stuff at her first approach.

mininghorn88 · May 21

2 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Stolen from another thread:

Somehow it is going to be the bull’s fault for not listening to her.

CHIEF · May 21

1 minute ago, mininghorn88 said:

Somehow it is going to be the bull’s fault for not listening to her.

I'm sure she asked to speak to the ranch manager.

CHIEF

Jameslaw121 · May 22

On 5/20/2024 at 6:16 PM, Sbbruin said:

Made some nice sous vide to seared pork chops which were finished in my perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet. My wife did the dishes. I needn't say what happened next. Stern words were had though.

My ex did this. I had a cast iron from my grandparents that was probably from the 30's So smooth it was basically a non stick pan. Ex put it in the dishwasher after scrubbing it. It was only us at the time, so it sat in the damp dishwasher from probably 5-7 days. It was basically orange when I found it

idigTexas · May 22

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My ex did this. I had a cast iron from my grandparents that was probably from the 30's So smooth it was basically a non stick pan. Ex put it in the dishwasher after scrubbing it. It was only us at the time, so it sat in the damp dishwasher from probably 5-7 days. It was basically orange when I found it

Well I see you had no choice.

huge · May 22

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My ex did this. I had a cast iron from my grandparents that was probably from the 30's So smooth it was basically a non stick pan. Ex put it in the dishwasher after scrubbing it. It was only us at the time, so it sat in the damp dishwasher from probably 5-7 days. It was basically orange when I found it

I had one similar from my grandmother. I moved into a new house that had a Viking gas grill with infrared. I fired all of it up to get the skillet ready to sear a steak. I guess 900+ degrees kills a skillet when you leave it on there for like 10 min. Lesson learned.

huge · May 22

Oh to keep this on topic my wife locked our bedroom door when we left town this weekend and the power was still off.

As if the locked bedroom door would keep a fucking burglar out of there in the case of a full on break in while we were out of town.

Sbbruin · May 22

1 hour ago, idigTexas said:

Well I see you had no choice.

I may need to talk to @hornian. It may have been a bridge too far.

ztejas · May 22

1 hour ago, huge said:

I moved into a new house that had a Viking gas grill with infrared. I fired all of it up to get the skillet ready to sear a steak. I guess 900+ degrees kills a skillet when you leave it on there for like 10 min.

You know you can just grill the steak, right?

wd40 · May 23

On 5/21/2024 at 11:38 AM, Beau Vine said:

Stolen from another thread:

wd40 · May 23

11 hours ago, ztejas said:

You know you can just grill the steak, right?

how gauche

in my house, I clean the cast iron and the kitchen knives. It's worth it.

nnm · May 23

13 hours ago, ztejas said:

You know you can just grill the steak, right?

A steak that isn’t reverse seared is just a hamburger.

52-80 · May 23

On 5/21/2024 at 4:27 PM, Beau Vine said:

Something little that amuses the hell out of me...

We got a ceiling fan with a remote control installed in our bedroom. The installer mounted this little plastic clip that holds the remote on the wall over by the door. Every time my wife goes to turn on/off the fan/light, she points the remote at the little clip on the wall.

move the clip to a different wall to see if she follows

Jameslaw121 · May 23

3 hours ago, wd40 said:

how gauche

in my house, I clean the cast iron and the kitchen knives. It's worth it.

I don't really use my cast iron skillets anymore (Have a blackstone griddle that I use all the time) but yes on me cleaning the knives.

BHMCruiser · May 23

On 5/20/2024 at 6:16 PM, Sbbruin said:

Made some nice sous vide to seared pork chops which were finished in my perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet. My wife did the dishes. I needn't say what happened next. Stern words were had though.

Sorry but I always clean my cast iron immediately to avoid this. My mother-in-law ran the pan through the dishwasher once. Apparently dishwashers have rust in them already. The pan looked like it had been on the Titanic

NotActuallyALonghorn · May 25

Well, apparently saying "Taylor Swift is the Nickleback of pop music" is fighting words. Doesn't make it less true.

Tex Long · May 25

1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Well, apparently saying "Taylor Swift is the Nickleback of pop music" is fighting words. Doesn't make it less true.

You must be thinking of Taylor Switf?

Biff Tannen · May 25

5 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Well, apparently saying "Taylor Swift is the Nickleback of pop music" is fighting words. Doesn't make it less true.

Go against the Swifties at your own peril.

High Plains Drifter · May 25

7 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Well, apparently saying "Taylor Swift is the Nickleback of pop music" is fighting words. Doesn't make it less true.

stupid shit husbands do thread is not here. You should maybe start it with this post.

harpercollins · May 26

Wife here. I understand from this thread that most guys would prefer to have all the information at the onset of a convo (who/what are we talking about). Say the last part first yada yada.

But FOR THE LOVE can you let me get a half sentence out before you interrupt with clarifying questions? Like, are your contextual listening skills so poor you literally cannot even listen to a single sentence without prior knowledge of the parties? I mean, that’s fine if you are really that limited in communication skills I guess, but let’s not act like I’m the lunatic here for not saying the list of characters in advance.

Brisketexan · May 26

Dp

Brisketexan · May 26

Wife here. I understand from this thread that most guys would prefer to have all the information at the onset of a convo (who/what are we talking about). Say the last part first yada yada.

But FOR THE LOVE can you let me get a half sentence out before you interrupt with clarifying questions? Like, are your contextual listening skills so poor you literally cannot even listen to a single sentence without prior knowledge of the parties? I mean, that’s fine if you are really that limited in communication skills I guess, but let’s not act like I’m the lunatic here for not saying the list of characters in advance.

Yeah, that’s just what Becky, Michelle’s sister - you remember Michelle, she had that nail salon that was the first place I knew of that wouldn’t do acrylics, which I don’t like because Pam got acrylics once and they looked awful on her hands, but Pam has really delicate hands, it’s why she was good at the flute when she was in high school…I think she went to high school in Katy…or was it Memorial? It was one of those schools near Houston. Wait, I remember, it was Clements! - anyway, that’s just what Becky said.

Me: “And who the fuck is Becky?”

Wife here. I understand from this thread that most guys would prefer to have all the information at the onset of a convo (who/what are we talking about). Say the last part first yada yada.

But FOR THE LOVE can you let me get a half sentence out before you interrupt with clarifying questions? Like, are your contextual listening skills so poor you literally cannot even listen to a single sentence without prior knowledge of the parties? I mean, that’s fine if you are really that limited in communication skills I guess, but let’s not act like I’m the lunatic here for not saying the list of characters in advance.

Yeah, that’s just what Becky, Michelle’s sister - you remember Michelle, she had that nail salon that was the first place I knew of that wouldn’t do acrylics, which I don’t like because Pam got acrylics once and they looked awful on her hands, but Pam has really delicate hands, it’s why she was good at the flute when she was in high school…I think she went to high school in Katy…or was it Memorial? It was one of those schools near Houston. Wait, I remember, it was Clements! - anyway, that’s just what Becky said.

Me: “And who the fuck is Becky?”

NeverMarryAStripper · May 26

If your wife repeats herself that much she might have early onset dementia

Brisketexan · May 26

If your wife repeats herself that much she might have early onset dementia

F’n Tapa glitch.

If your wife repeats herself that much she might have early onset dementia

F’n Tapa glitch.

ChickenSandwich · May 26

15 hours ago, harpercollins said:

Wife here. I understand from this thread that most guys would prefer to have all the information at the onset of a convo (who/what are we talking about). Say the last part first yada yada.

But FOR THE LOVE can you let me get a half sentence out before you interrupt with clarifying questions? Like, are your contextual listening skills so poor you literally cannot even listen to a single sentence without prior knowledge of the parties? I mean, that’s fine if you are really that limited in communication skills I guess, but let’s not act like I’m the lunatic here for not saying the list of characters in advance.

Twitter was better with the 150 character limit

“Let me finish”

FIFY

Edited May 26 by ChickenSandwich

Modessit · May 27

Wife here. I understand from this thread that most guys would prefer to have all the information at the onset of a convo (who/what are we talking about). Say the last part first yada yada.

But FOR THE LOVE can you let me get a half sentence out before you interrupt with clarifying questions? Like, are your contextual listening skills so poor you literally cannot even listen to a single sentence without prior knowledge of the parties? I mean, that’s fine if you are really that limited in communication skills I guess, but let’s not act like I’m the lunatic here for not saying the list of characters in advance.

Here's the problem with that:

My wife (a teacher) will often start out by saying something like, "So today we were told that the new FRQ will completely change and we'll now have to start documenting everything..."

Me: What's...

Her: Will you let me finish? You always interrupt! Just let me finish!

Me: Fine. Go ahead.

Her: So anyway, I was talking to...

She talks for 25 minutes straight without me saying a word. Finally she stops and doesn't make a sound for two whole minutes.

Me: Are you done? Can I talk now?

Her: Yes. Thank you for letting me finish.

Me: OK. I have no idea what FRQ is or what anything you just said means in regards to it so you basically just talked for 25 minutes and I stopped listening 23 minutes ago because I couldn't understand any of it. If you didn't want to talk about the nail, you should have said so in the beginning so I'd know that the entire point is for you to vent and unload and I can ignore it all. But if you want me to actually pay attention, then you either need to communicate better or let me ask for a clarification IN THE FIRST MINUTE rather than waiting 25 minutes later to ask WTF you're even talking about. Now I don't give a shit and I don't want you repeating everything after you explain what you were even talking about. And quit acting all pissy over my "attitude". Either you're going to be mad I interrupted or mad I'm not going to listen to any more. I'm not getting laid either way so it doesn't matter.

CycleTex87 · May 27

Wow. Say the last part first.

nnm · May 27

14 hours ago, Modessit said:

Here's the problem with that:

My wife (a teacher) will often start out by saying something like, "So today we were told that the new FRQ will completely change and we'll now have to start documenting everything..."

Me: What's...

Her: Will you let me finish? You always interrupt! Just let me finish!

Me: Fine. Go ahead.

Her: So anyway, I was talking to...

She talks for 25 minutes straight without me saying a word. Finally she stops and doesn't make a sound for two whole minutes.

Me: Are you done? Can I talk now?

Her: Yes. Thank you for letting me finish.

Me: OK. I have no idea what FRQ is or what anything you just said means in regards to it so you basically just talked for 25 minutes and I stopped listening 23 minutes ago because I couldn't understand any of it. If you didn't want to talk about the nail, you should have said so in the beginning so I'd know that the entire point is for you to vent and unload and I can ignore it all. But if you want me to actually pay attention, then you either need to communicate better or let me ask for a clarification IN THE FIRST MINUTE rather than waiting 25 minutes later to ask WTF you're even talking about. Now I don't give a shit and I don't want you repeating everything after you explain what you were even talking about. And quit acting all pissy over my "attitude". Either you're going to be mad I interrupted or mad I'm not going to listen to any more. I'm not getting laid either way so it doesn't matter.

Divorce thread is that way —->

harpercollins · May 28

Here's the problem with that:

My wife (a teacher) will often start out by saying something like, "So today we were told that the new FRQ will completely change and we'll now have to start documenting everything..."

Me: What's...

Her: Will you let me finish? You always interrupt! Just let me finish!

Me: Fine. Go ahead.

Her: So anyway, I was talking to...

She talks for 25 minutes straight without me saying a word. Finally she stops and doesn't make a sound for two whole minutes.

Me: Are you done? Can I talk now?

Her: Yes. Thank you for letting me finish.

Me: OK. I have no idea what FRQ is or what anything you just said means in regards to it so you basically just talked for 25 minutes and I stopped listening 23 minutes ago because I couldn't understand any of it. If you didn't want to talk about the nail, you should have said so in the beginning so I'd know that the entire point is for you to vent and unload and I can ignore it all. But if you want me to actually pay attention, then you either need to communicate better or let me ask for a clarification IN THE FIRST MINUTE rather than waiting 25 minutes later to ask WTF you're even talking about. Now I don't give a shit and I don't want you repeating everything after you explain what you were even talking about. And quit acting all pissy over my "attitude". Either you're going to be mad I interrupted or mad I'm not going to listen to any more. I'm not getting laid either way so it doesn't matter.

This is what I mean. In 25 minutes of her talking about FRQ and the implications of the new FRQ, you were not able to use any contextual evidence to determine that FRQ is a type of assessment? I feel like you just decided not to care what FRQ means. Especially because if your wife has been an AP teacher for any length of time you would already know that FRQ means free response question.

Brisketexan · May 28

This is what I mean. In 25 minutes of her talking about FRQ and the implications of the new FRQ, you were not able to use any contextual evidence to determine that FRQ is a type of assessment? I feel like you just decided not to care what FRQ means. Especially because if your wife has been an AP teacher for any length of time you would already know that FRQ means free response question.

Or…she could be remotely polite when the person she’s talking to asks a question so they can meaningfully understand what the speaker is telling them.
Shit, Friday night at dinner, I was telling my wife about something that happened related to my work (a public thing that I could talk about). The topic had some legally technical points. She asked me a couple of different times what something meant. I appreciated that she was listening enough to realize she needed that context, so I explained those things to her so she could be an actual part of my conversation. I wasn’t offended - I felt the opposite. If she asked a question, it meant that she was listening and engaged, which makes me feel heard, and pleased that she gives enough of a shit to want to understand what I’m talking about.
I could think “I’ve been a lawyer for decades, you know what I do, surely you can tell what XYZ is from context,” but I didn’t, because I’m not a fucking asshole (well, at least I wasn’t at that moment).
A conversation, even to someone who is primarily intended to be the listener, is a two-party process. Not giving a shit about the audience’s desire and request for context is rude AF.

CHIEF · May 28

Our subdivision had our Memorial Day street dance tonight. A couple left their three year old at the pool unsupervised because he had a red wristband that means he can swim. He almost drown. Ambulance called, he is at the local hospital. They are absolute idoits. Friend was livid, words were exchanged in the 19th Hole.

Told Mrs. CHIEF about it. About 45 minutes later, she says “I would have done the same thing,” no context, no reference, just a statement. I had no idea what we were even talking about. Please lay out the scenerio.

I just looked at her and said, “you know what they say?” Then I walked away.

CHIEF

Sawbonz · May 28

29 minutes ago, harpercollins said:

This is what I mean. In 25 minutes of her talking about FRQ and the implications of the new FRQ, you were not able to use any contextual evidence to determine that FRQ is a type of assessment? I feel like you just decided not to care what FRQ means. Especially because if your wife has been an AP teacher for any length of time you would already know that FRQ means free response question.

Or you know in the first sentence she could have said free response questions, and then abbreviated thereafter

harpercollins · May 28

Or…she could be remotely polite when the person she’s talking to asks a question so they can meaningfully understand what the speaker is telling them.
Shit, Friday night at dinner, I was telling my wife about something that happened related to my work (a public thing that I could talk about). The topic had some legally technical points. She asked me a couple of different times what something meant. I appreciated that she was listening enough to realize she needed that context, so I explained those things to her so she could be an actual part of my conversation. I wasn’t offended - I felt the opposite. If she asked a question, it meant that she was listening and engaged, which makes me feel heard, and pleased that she gives enough of a shit to want to understand what I’m talking about.
I could think “I’ve been a lawyer for decades, you know what I do, surely you can tell what XYZ is from context,” but I didn’t, because I’m not a fucking asshole (well, at least I wasn’t at that moment).
A conversation, even to someone who is primarily intended to be the listener, is a two-party process. Not giving a shit about the audience’s desire and request for context is rude AF.

Totally. What you’re describing is a conversation between two people genuinely interested in what each other has to say.

What I’m talking about is the opposite. “Say the last part first so I don’t have to engage more than I feel like.”

harpercollins · May 28

Or you know in the first sentence she could have said free response questions, and then abbreviated thereafter

Obviously. But I’m guessing he just got irritated at the first non-obvious bit of jargon and decided not to care what a FRQ was.

For context, this is the convo that inspired my post:

Me: “the guy said—“
Him: “wait. What guy?”
Me: “I’m about to freaking tell you what guy. The guy said that when he comes to do the trees he’ll need to start with the ones around the downed power lines.”

Could I have said “the tree guy?” Sure.
Would that have been better? Sure.
Would you treat a coworker or buddy that way? Probably not.

Sawbonz · May 28

5 hours ago, harpercollins said:

Would you treat a coworker or buddy that way

They would have said tree guy so…

52-80 · May 28

On 5/26/2024 at 8:01 AM, harpercollins said:

Wife here

prove it

conVINCEd · May 28

6 hours ago, harpercollins said:

Would you treat a coworker or buddy that way? Probably not.

You must be new here. We rip each other apart over trivial shit. It’s kind of our thing.

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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

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