Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

luke duke · July 16

I don’t want a TV to be the center of my home. We have a Samsung Frame TV that displays art in a very pleasing way.

So now the TV is absolutely the centerpiece of the house since every guest asks about it instead of ignoring it like they do with every other TV?

Armybrat · July 16

37 minutes ago, nnm said:

I don’t want a TV to be the center of my home. We have a Samsung Frame TV that displays art in a very pleasing way.

That’s much preferable than a big blank rectangle on the wall.

General Specific · July 16

https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/clara-harris-released-from-prison/

That gentleman’s business was right down the street, so this hits/drives close to home!

Frank The Tank · July 16

5 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

I would not want to have to watch TV while that creepy lady watched me.

NeverMarryAStripper · July 16

Looks like somebody already smacked her for staring at them

Ojo Rojo · July 16

We are currently moving. The number of stupid things my wife has done as part of the process are beyond count. The biggest, though, is that she is packing everything all at once. As in, she has boxes opened and partially packed all over the house. No single cabinet or room is empty; no single box is full. Everything in our house is in the process of being packed, but nothing is actually completely packed. I don't understand this at all.

Upgrayedd · July 16

They are not burdened by logic.

ROFL BOX · July 16

11 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

We are currently moving. The number of stupid things my wife has done as part of the process are beyond count. The biggest, though, is that she is packing everything all at once.

Is she at least staying somewhat consistent, or is the kitchen stuff being mixed in with the bathroom or books?

& Hopefully she is not packing your stuff?

A possible bonus of moving is you will (hopefully) give some stuff to GoodWill or throw crap away.

Unfortunately my wife insists on having a yard sale & her valuation is insane, in the "I know what I paid for that!" idea. 🤦‍♂️ That's why we still have clothes & toys for the kids 12... 14 years after they fit or were functional, etc. & there is HELL to pay if I even *THINK* about moving it along before she "gets around to the yard sale" she has planned.

🤬😡🤬

PvilleStang · July 16

Take the clothes to Once Upon a Child or some other thrift store and see what they'll give you, or donate to a good cause. If she knows what she paid for 'em, write it off!

ROFL BOX · July 16

27 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Take the clothes to Once Upon a Child or some other thrift store and see what they'll give you, or donate to a good cause. If she knows what she paid for 'em, write it off!

Again...

"there is HELL to pay if I even *THINK* about moving it along before she "gets around to the yard sale" she has planned."

TexasGrunt · July 16

1 hour ago, Ojo Rojo said:

We are currently moving. The number of stupid things my wife has done as part of the process are beyond count. The biggest, though, is that she is packing everything all at once. As in, she has boxes opened and partially packed all over the house. No single cabinet or room is empty; no single box is full. Everything in our house is in the process of being packed, but nothing is actually completely packed. I don't understand this at all.

I am moving also. Its 4 hours away, we are leaving to day to stay near new place to ride the GC's ass so he gets done. Getting her out of the house and not coming back. Paid movers to pack. Daughter in her boyfriend are meeting the movers to make sure everything gets loaded. Much easier and less stress.

wd40 · July 16

7 minutes ago, TexasGrunt said:

I am moving also. Its 4 hours away, we are leaving to day to stay near new place to ride the GC's ass so he gets done. Getting her out of the house and not coming back. Paid movers to pack. Daughter in her boyfriend are meeting the movers to make sure everything gets loaded. Much easier and less stress.

you've obviously not met Ojo irl

Ojo Rojo · July 16

2 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Is she at least staying somewhat consistent, or is the kitchen stuff being mixed in with the bathroom or books?

& Hopefully she is not packing your stuff?

A possible bonus of moving is you will (hopefully) give some stuff to GoodWill or throw crap away.

Unfortunately my wife insists on having a yard sale & her valuation is insane, in the "I know what I paid for that!" idea. 🤦‍♂️ That's why we still have clothes & toys for the kids 12... 14 years after they fit or were functional, etc. & there is HELL to pay if I even *THINK* about moving it along before she "gets around to the yard sale" she has planned.

🤬😡🤬

No mixing, thank goodness. If there was, this would be me:

Storm the Field · July 17

This was a fun one earlier.

Backstory: We had to completely empty our fridge and freezer following Beryl power outage. Wife just got back in town from a work trip earlier this afternoon. I was planning to hit up the grocery store on way home from work this evening to grab a few essentials. Quick call to my wife before I leave the office and stop at HEB.

Me: "Hey, did you happen to go to the store when you got back today?"

Her: "No, I thought you were going. I didn't know I was supposed to."

Me: "You weren't supposed to, I'm just making sure you didn't so we don't end up double buying anything."

Her: "I'm sorry."

Me: "You don't need to apologize. You weren't supposed to go."

Her: "I can go if you don't want to stop on the way home."

Me: "Jesus Christ."

Tex Long · July 18

This is another example of what I believe is an innate difference between the sexes (or genders or whatever...).

I can't count the number of times I have asked a female of the species a fairly simple question, which only requires a simple yes or no in answer, and received dozens, if not hundreds, of words in return. These are inevitably in the form of a completely unnecessary explanation, and often do not include the single word I had sought.

In retrospect, it is easier to count the number times when the response actually was that single word, possibly accompanied with something short... "no, thanks" or "yes, why not" or the like. That count is either a single digit or perhaps as high as low double digits.

Mo Horn · July 18

11 hours ago, Tex Long said:

This is another example of what I believe is an innate difference between the sexes (or genders or whatever...).

I can't count the number of times I have asked a female of the species a fairly simple question, which only requires a simple yes or no in answer, and received dozens, if not hundreds, of words in return. These are inevitably in the form of a completely unnecessary explanation, and often do not include the single word I had sought.

In retrospect, it is easier to count the number times when the response actually was that single word, possibly accompanied with something short... "no, thanks" or "yes, why not" or the like. That count is either a single digit or perhaps as high as low double digits.

Ironically, that's a lot of words to say, women talk to much.

wd40 · July 18

idigTexas · July 18

12 hours ago, Tex Long said:

This is another example of what I believe is an innate difference between the sexes (or genders or whatever...).

I can't count the number of times I have asked a female of the species a fairly simple question, which only requires a simple yes or no in answer, and received dozens, if not hundreds, of words in return. These are inevitably in the form of a completely unnecessary explanation, and often do not include the single word I had sought.

In retrospect, it is easier to count the number times when the response actually was that single word, possibly accompanied with something short... "no, thanks" or "yes, why not" or the like. That count is either a single digit or perhaps as high as low double digits.

They assume every question you ask has an ulterior motive because every question they ask you does. There is no such thing as a yes or no question.

Tex Long · July 18

1 hour ago, Mo Horn said:

Ironically, that's a lot of words to say, women talk to much.

1 hour ago, wd40 said:

19 minutes ago, idigTexas said:

They assume every question you ask has an ulterior motive because every question they ask you does. There is no such thing as a yes or no question.

Yes.

CycleTex87 · July 18

Storm the Field · July 18

1 hour ago, idigTexas said:

They assume every question you ask has an ulterior motive because every question they ask you does. There is no such thing as a yes or no question.

Bingo. It's because they are used to communicating through implication/suggestion and bait questions (i. e. asking you about your day b/c they want you in turn to ask about their day so they can tell you about some drama)

You can ask a yes or no question that literally has no "wrong" answer. Something like, "Hey babe, how are we looking on dog food? Do I need to pick up another bag on the way home?"

It becomes a multiple choice question of "what did he REALLY mean by that?" "Is he being passive-aggressive to imply that I should have already picked some up?"

Edited July 18 by Storm the Field

tigol · July 18

Bingo. It's because they are used to communicating through implication/suggestion and bait questions (i. e. asking you about your day b/c they want you in turn to ask about their day so they can tell you about some drama)
You can ask a yes or no question that literally has no "wrong" answer. Something like, "Hey babe, how are we looking on dog food? Do I need to pick up another bag on the way home?"
It becomes a multiple choice question of "what did he REALLY mean by that?" "Is he being passive-aggressive to imply that I should have already picked some up?"

We are taught this shit by our mothers from birth. It’s generational. Your mother DID mean something else when she asked a direct question.

It takes therapy to be untrained.

It fucking sucks.

Tex Long · July 18

1 hour ago, tigol said:

It takes therapy to be untrained.

Unpossible. This is tantamount to saying it takes eye bleach to unsee something.

Guadaloopy · July 18

Along the lines of not being able to give a straight answer to a simple question is the fact that they can't just ask a simple direct question. I swear I would happily do 95% of the things my wife asks me to do if she would just say "will you do X?" But no. It's always "Do you want to do X?"

She volunteers at a food pantry once a week, and sometimes when they are understaffed, she will ask me to come along and help out. She ALWAYS asks "Do you want to come with me to food pantry this week?" And then she gets moody if I don't answer with an immediate, enthusiastic yes. I mean... I really don't want to go. There are a dozen other things that I could be doing on a Tuesday evening. But if she just plain asked, "will you come help me at food pantry tonight?" I would very quickly say "yes."

"Do you want to do the laundry?" No. "Will you do the laundry?" Yes. Two different questions with two different answers. One annoys the shit out of me, but one will get me to do shit. I've mentioned this many times, but I've given up hope that it will ever change.

nnm · July 18

37 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Along the lines of not being able to give a straight answer to a simple question is the fact that they can't just ask a simple direct question. I swear I would happily do 95% of the things my wife asks me to do if she would just say "will you do X?" But no. It's always "Do you want to do X?"

She volunteers at a food pantry once a week, and sometimes when they are understaffed, she will ask me to come along and help out. She ALWAYS asks "Do you want to come with me to food pantry this week?" And then she gets moody if I don't answer with an immediate, enthusiastic yes. I mean... I really don't want to go. There are a dozen other things that I could be doing on a Tuesday evening. But if she just plain asked, "will you come help me at food pantry tonight?" I would very quickly say "yes."

"Do you want to do the laundry?" No. "Will you do the laundry?" Yes. Two different questions with two different answers. One annoys the shit out of me, but one will get me to do shit. I've mentioned this many times, but I've given up hope that it will ever change.

Are we married to the same woman? I’ve complained about this some time back upthread.
I’ve explained this to her and she’s marginally better at it.

Another minor pet peeve. If I pull sandwich stuff out of the fridge for lunch, she’ll say “oh, we have that leftover spaghetti.” If I pull the spaghetti out, she’ll say “oh, we have sandwich stuff.”

Several times, I’ve said “just tell me what you want me to eat and I’ll eat that. I don’t want to be second-guessed.” Her reply: “I just want to make sure you know all the options.”

TrashMaster G · July 18

48 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Along the lines of not being able to give a straight answer to a simple question is the fact that they can't just ask a simple direct question. I swear I would happily do 95% of the things my wife asks me to do if she would just say "will you do X?" But no. It's always "Do you want to do X?"

She volunteers at a food pantry once a week, and sometimes when they are understaffed, she will ask me to come along and help out. She ALWAYS asks "Do you want to come with me to food pantry this week?" And then she gets moody if I don't answer with an immediate, enthusiastic yes. I mean... I really don't want to go. There are a dozen other things that I could be doing on a Tuesday evening. But if she just plain asked, "will you come help me at food pantry tonight?" I would very quickly say "yes."

"Do you want to do the laundry?" No. "Will you do the laundry?" Yes. Two different questions with two different answers. One annoys the shit out of me, but one will get me to do shit. I've mentioned this many times, but I've given up hope that it will ever change.

Dude, she wants you to WANT to help.

You asshole.

Ojo Rojo · July 18

Update on the move:

Moving day is Saturday. We have spent the last month or so preparing - giving shit away, throwing shit away, wife putting shit on FB marketplace, etc. We rented a storage unit to put things we know we will not need right away. Plus, the new place is smaller so some of it might not fit at all.

Anyway, time is short. We are at the point where we don't have time to look through everything and make decisions about whether to throw, give, sell, store or move. There is now only one option: move. It cannot stay at our current house. Everything has to be out by Tuesday and 99% of it needs to be ready to go by Saturday morning. So each night of the past week I have been packing boxes, wrapping artwork in blankets, taking shit to the storage unit and the new house. Inevitably I will catch her taking pictures of items and making runs to different charities, leaving shit on our front porch, talking with the people when they come to pick it up - all of which takes precious time. I cannot count the number of times she has asked me the question, "What do you think we should do with this?" (My answer that I don't say: "Put it in a fucking box and move it.") She's fucking exasperated all the time, complaining about how much work everything is, even outside of the move. I think to myself, "Well maybe if you didn't create so much goddamned work for yourself it wouldn't be that bad..."

(And she's still trying to move everything at once. There is a huge box in the kitchen with ONE pot in it. She put it in there and moved into another room and started fucking with something else. So we have a shitload of open boxes throughout the house taking up valuable floor space, none of which are fully packed and ready to be moved.)

T’Boo Ted Marshall · July 18

Definite Michael Jackson popcorn gif on that one.

luke duke · July 19

Ironically, that's a lot of words to say, women talk to much.

*too

ABSR · July 19

11 hours ago, tigol said:

We are taught this shit by our mothers from birth. It’s generational. Your mother DID mean something else when she asked a direct question.

It takes therapy to be untrained.

It fucking sucks.

Coming from you this really sucks.

NWBuck · July 19

9 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

So each night of the past week I have been packing boxes, wrapping artwork in blankets, taking shit to the storage unit and the new house. Inevitably I will catch her taking pictures of items and making runs to different charities, leaving shit on our front porch, talking with the people when they come to pick it up - all of which takes precious time. I cannot count the number of times she has asked me the question, "What do you think we should do with this?"

Feels like @Mitch Cumsteen 's wife might have a solution for some of your wife's problems

tigol · July 19

Coming from you this really sucks.

Luckily for my husband, I am enlightened on this matter.

We laugh when my Mom pulls that shit. It’s not even worth calling her out on it because she’d be confused, hurt, and think we were making fun of her. No win there.

Ojo Rojo · July 19

17 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Definite Michael Jackson popcorn gif on that one.

I'll save you the suspense.

A bunch of shit is not ready, Ojo flies around making shit happen, I speak some truth to the wife, Ojo gets no pussy for a month. The end.

Tex Long · July 19

1 hour ago, Ojo Rojo said:

I'll save you the suspense.

A bunch of shit is not ready, Ojo flies around making shit happen, I speak some truth to the wife, Ojo gets no pussy from her for a month. The end.

You left part of it out.

nnm · July 19

I’ll try this. Maybe it’ll work.

Beau Vine · July 19

On 7/16/2024 at 11:41 AM, TexasGrunt said:

I am moving also. Its 4 hours away, we are leaving to day to stay near new place to ride the GC's ass so he gets done. Getting her out of the house and not coming back. Paid movers to pack. Daughter in her boyfriend are meeting the movers to make sure everything gets loaded. Much easier and less stress.

Last time we moved was the closest I've ever been to wanting a divorce, so this time...

I rented a small box truck and packed all of my shit and a mattress and a small couch and drove it up here two months ago. She went back to Tx and spent a month cleaning the house and packing up the rest of the shit for a moving truck to take. Daughter flew in and helped her pack for the last 4-5 days and helped her drive the car up a couple of weeks ago.

I asked daughter how it went... "Mom has a seriously bad case of ADD."

Me: "Yep."

Sandman · July 19

On 7/18/2024 at 2:01 PM, Guadaloopy said:

"Do you want to do the laundry?" No. "Will you do the laundry?" Yes. Two different questions with two different answers. One annoys the shit out of me, but one will get me to do shit. I've mentioned this many times, but I've given up hope that it will ever change.

My wife pulled one of my ex-wife's moves, which really set me off. "We need to take the garbage out". "WE??? ", I said. What do you mean "we?". You can take it out whenever you'd like, if you think it needs to go. I think she caught on to why I was immediately defensive, but I dropped it and it didn't get mentioned again. Fuck, was I triggered.

Tex Long · July 19

11 minutes ago, Sandman said:

My wife pulled one of my ex-wife's moves, which really set me off. "We need to take the garbage out". "WE??? ", I said. What do you mean "we?". You can take it out whenever you'd like, if you think it needs to go. I think she caught on to why I was immediately defensive, but I dropped it and it didn't get mentioned again. Fuck, was I triggered.

They. Want. To. Be. In. Charge.

thunderlounge · July 19

51 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Last time we moved was the closest I've ever been to wanting a divorce, so this time...

you’re calling Hornian?

Dnaguy · July 19

On 7/18/2024 at 2:01 PM, Guadaloopy said:

Along the lines of not being able to give a straight answer to a simple question is the fact that they can't just ask a simple direct question. I swear I would happily do 95% of the things my wife asks me to do if she would just say "will you do X?" But no. It's always "Do you want to do X?"

She volunteers at a food pantry once a week, and sometimes when they are understaffed, she will ask me to come along and help out. She ALWAYS asks "Do you want to come with me to food pantry this week?" And then she gets moody if I don't answer with an immediate, enthusiastic yes. I mean... I really don't want to go. There are a dozen other things that I could be doing on a Tuesday evening. But if she just plain asked, "will you come help me at food pantry tonight?" I would very quickly say "yes."

"Do you want to do the laundry?" No. "Will you do the laundry?" Yes. Two different questions with two different answers. One annoys the shit out of me, but one will get me to do shit. I've mentioned this many times, but I've given up hope that it will ever change.

‘Do you want to…’ and it’s close cousin ‘We need to….’

Love it. Absolutely love it.

This morning:

’Do you want to get the car seats out of my car?’

Me: Why would I want to?

Her: I’m going to leave it at work when I take the girls on our trip.

Me: ok…. Well I wasn’t planning on that and I’m dressed for work already. I guess I WILL take the car seats out given the information that you just told me and was not given before……

Her: Why are you talking to me like that? I just asked you to take out the cars seats. It’s a simple thing.

Me: Ummmm. You didn’t ask me to take out the car seats. You asked me if I want to.

Her: You can’t dictate how I talk.

Me: I’m stating a fact.

Her: Stop gaslighting me.

Me: Ok then. I’ll take the car seats out and see you when I get home….. Bye.
[In my car] 🤬

The night before……

Her: Now that you have your new job, we need to save more money. I’m not comfortable with our savings account.

Me: Ok. And by ‘We’ you mean ‘Me’?

Her: I didn’t say that.

Me: Ok. How much were you planning to put aside per paycheck?

Her: [Silence]

Me: Ok I have to clean the shed…..

Edited July 19 by Dnaguy

Tex Long · July 19

4 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

‘Do you want to…’ and it’s close cousin ‘We need to….’

Love it. Absolutely love it.

This morning:

’Do you want to get the car seats out of my car?’

Me: Why would I want to?

Her: I’m going to leave it at work when I take the girls on our trip.

Me: ok…. Well I wasn’t planning on that and I’m dressed for work already. I guess I WILL take the car seats out given the information that you just told me and was not given before……

Her: Why are you talking to me like that? I just asked you to take out the cars seats. It’s a simple thing.

Me: Ummmm. You didn’t ask me to take out the car seats. You asked me if I want to.

Her: You can’t dictate how I talk.

Me: I’m stating a fact.

Her: Stop gaslighting me.

Me: Ok then. I’ll take the car seats out and see you when I get home….. Bye.
[In my car] 🤬

The night before……

Her: Now that you have your new job, we need to save more money. I’m not comfortable with our savings account.

Me: Ok. And by ‘We’ you mean ‘Me’?

Her: I didn’t say that.

Me: Ok. How much were you planning to put aside per paycheck? I can probably match it.

Her: [Silence]

Me: Ok I have to clean the shed…..

My Universal Answer to any question that starts "Do you want to..." is nearly always "No, but if you need it, I'll damn sure do it."

uoftorange · July 19

5 minutes ago, Tex Long said:

My Universal Answer to any question that starts "Do you want to..." is nearly always "No, but if you need it, I'll damn sure do it."

Every time. Do you want to "No. But if you want me to all you have to do is ask". I don't at all get why women can't learn behaviors. It's really not that hard to talk accurately.

Why would you want to piss me off when you are ultimately asking me for a favor? And then act like I should be the one that changes when you are the one that wants something?

Sandman · July 19

1 hour ago, uoftorange said:

Every time. Do you want to "No. But if you want me to all you have to do is ask". I don't at all get why women can't learn behaviors. It's really not that hard to talk accurately.

Why would you want to piss me off when you are ultimately asking me for a favor? And then act like I should be the one that changes when you are the one that wants something?

My ex would just blurt out declarations: "I sure am thirsty...". I would tell her to go get a drink. Finally I said "If you were to just ask nicely, I'd be happy to get you a drink. Why can't you do that???". As long as I'm not in the middle of something like a chore or an important phone call, I don't mind getting up and getting my wife a drink or a snack. Use your fucking words!

tbone_ · July 20

Last time we moved was the closest I've ever been to wanting a divorce, so this time...
I rented a small box truck and packed all of my shit and a mattress and a small couch and drove it up here two months ago. She went back to Tx and spent a month cleaning the house and packing up the rest of the shit for a moving truck to take. Daughter flew in and helped her pack for the last 4-5 days and helped her drive the car up a couple of weeks ago.
I asked daughter how it went... "Mom has a seriously bad case of ADD."
Me: "Yep."

Paying movers to pack your shit is cheaper than a divorce.

Dahobbs · July 20

6 hours ago, Sandman said:

My ex would just blurt out declarations: "I sure am thirsty...". I would tell her to go get a drink. Finally I said "If you were to just ask nicely, I'd be happy to get you a drink. Why can't you do that???". As long as I'm not in the middle of something like a chore or an important phone call, I don't mind getting up and getting my wife a drink or a snack. Use your fucking words!

Incredulity · July 20

7 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Paying movers to pack your shit is cheaper than a divorce.

Some of the best money I have ever spent. And the last fuckers broke and stole some stuff. Still worth it

Dnaguy · July 20

17 hours ago, uoftorange said:

Every time. Do you want to "No. But if you want me to all you have to do is ask". I don't at all get why women can't learn behaviors. It's really not that hard to talk accurately.

Why would you want to piss me off when you are ultimately asking me for a favor? And then act like I should be the one that changes when you are the one that wants something?

15 hours ago, Sandman said:

My ex would just blurt out declarations: "I sure am thirsty...". I would tell her to go get a drink. Finally I said "If you were to just ask nicely, I'd be happy to get you a drink. Why can't you do that???". As long as I'm not in the middle of something like a chore or an important phone call, I don't mind getting up and getting my wife a drink or a snack. Use your fucking words!

I don’t get to vent very much about shit like this, so I’m shooting my shot.

If it’s not just the ‘Do you want to….” Or the ‘We should…’ bullshit, I get the emoji text out of no where with just the item she wants OR it’s the interruption on whatever task I’m engaged in with a ‘I need your help with ….’ No matter what I’m engaged in.

My favorite most recent example is reaching the towels in the linen cabinet next to the office area I was working at.

Im obvious working. I get a ‘I need your help putting the towels away’.
I ask ‘With what?’

Her: Putting the towels away.

Me: Why do you need help with that.

Her: I can’t reach the top shelf.

Me: Is the kids’ stool right next to your feet broken?
Her: [daggers]

I mean, I know what I asked was kind of shittily put. But seriously. I don’t ask my wife to do any task. Like anything. If she isn’t cooking and it close to dinner time, I make dinner. Dishes? I load them and unload them. Go to the grocery store. Me. Fix shit. Me. Wash my clothes, me. Wash her clothes and put them away if her shit is mingled in mine? Me. If she does clothes, it’s always “I need you to put your clothes away.” I don’t know if my wife can ask a simple question. All her ‘questions’ are actually statements.

And anytime I ask her to stop giving commands, it’s always devolves into me being controlling or ‘too sensitive’.

That severance procedure from the Appletv+ show Severance looks more appealing everyday.

Edited July 20 by Dnaguy

NotActuallyALonghorn · July 20

3 hours ago, Incredulity said:

Some of the best money I have ever spent. And the last fuckers broke and stole some stuff. Still worth it

Are you talking about a divorce or paying movers?

thunderlounge · July 20

Yes

Armybrat · July 20

21 hours ago, nnm said:

I’ll try this. Maybe it’ll work.

Hope you don’t get a busy signal.

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