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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5906

Posted
Posted (edited)
17 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Last ~1 minute of the Vandy game.  Vandy gets that TD & the extra point goes through the goal posts.
 
SCENE: I commented "interesting view for the PAT; I guess they have a camera on the center / top of the net as I don't think I have ever seen that view before."
Move forward a moment to the 'Dores lining up for their onside attempt.
 
Her:  Why are they (Vanderbilt) lined up like that?  Are they trying to get that "2 point" thing after the touchdown?"
Me:  "Ummm... wat?"
Her:  "Don't talk to me like it was a stupid question.  What are they doing?  I haven't ever seen that before."
Me:  You can NOT be serious here.
Her:  "You're such an ass."
 

Well done.  My wife won't get within 3 miles of me during a TX game.  She had considered watching this game until about 1 minute in.  She fled rather quickly.

Edited by Knoxtnhorn
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ROFL BOX

ROFL BOX 6618

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Well done.  My wife won't get within 3 miles of me during a TX game.  She had considered watching this game until about 1 minute in.  She fled rather quickly.
My wife is ONLY interested in Longhorns football.

She consistently wants me to turn the channel once the post game interviews & commentary has concluded.
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ztejas

ztejas 42730

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7 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Well done.  My wife won't get within 3 miles of me during a TX game.  She had considered watching this game until about 1 minute in.  She fled rather quickly.

robert redford yes GIF

There was a Texas/OU weekend when I was in college where I was at an Austin buddy's lakehouse during the game. I may have been down there for ACL or something - can't remember.

He had a tiny little flatscreen in one room and I was plugged into the TV and pretty sure I traumatized some of the attendant females that day. 

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rage-a-holic

rage-a-holic 4237

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8 hours ago, Tex Long said:

Has anyone ever gotten a straight answer about what appears to me to be the near-universal female behavior of showering before dressing up to go work out, yoga, pilates or whatever?

 

If she doesn't arrive looking and smelling like a fresh rose, the other judgmental bitches at yoga class will gossip about how she's smelly and doesn't shower. End of her social life.

It's the same reason they pre-clean the house before the maid gets there. They absolutely can't have maids thinking/gossiping about them being lazy slobs.

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rage-a-holic

rage-a-holic 4237

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49 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

I pre-clean before my house-cleaner arrives. Figure she can get everything deep-down clean if she doesn’t have to pick up all of my shit first. 

Deep cleaning? 🤣 We obviously use different maids. The ones we've used in Austin and all over Mexico love the pre-cleaning and just fuck around for 3 hours. And we're talking about 10 different maids over the past 4 years, so it's not just a couple of lazy bad apples.

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25462

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one day the GF was away for work, and the housekeeper was coming.  I was doing the usual pre-clean...making sure that the toys were hidden, picking up the dirty undies, etc.  My old boss (and mentor, and dear friend) calls.  I tell him I'm pre-cleaning for the housekeeper, and ask him if they do that. He laughs in my ear and says I can beat that.   They had the same housekeeper, every Tuesday, for 30+ years.  She was like a family member, but she got so old and senile that she was a terrible cleaner.  They knew that she needed the money, so they couldn't fire her, so, they hired ANOTHER housekeeper, to come in on Wednesdays, and actually clean the house. 

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Sandman

Sandman 3398

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On 10/28/2024 at 11:07 AM, Tex Long said:

Has anyone ever gotten a straight answer about what appears to me to be the near-universal female behavior of showering before dressing up to go work out, yoga, pilates or whatever?

 

Does this mean I shouldn't take a shower before I got play golf?

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Tex Long

Tex Long 4259

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1 hour ago, Sandman said:

I don't do yard work but I get what you mean. I guess I'm just too deep into my routine of "get up, shower, dress and go". I don't want to put on clean clothes if I haven't bathed. 

Yah, I get it. I shower before bed, maybe shower in morning depending on overnight activities.  What I don't do is shower before workouts. 

All-in-all I think rage-a-holic got it right.

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 11529

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My wife bought a grounding mattress pad.

Why I asked her why, she said ‘I’m not going to get into all the benefits it provides right before bed’

I just shut up. I’ve tried over the years to debunk all the snake oil she’s fallen for and have just lost my desire bc she’s just can’t help herself.

Don’t ever let your kids go to A&M folks.

Edited by Dnaguy
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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 13890

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10 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Who gives a shit how often someone showers. Unless the answer is not enough.

The ultimate problem here is that she'll take too long in the shower, which causes her to be running late, which causes her to be a bitch to everyone around her. 

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Tex Long

Tex Long 4259

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1 hour ago, NorthLoop said:

The ultimate problem here is that she'll take too long in the shower, which causes her to be running late, which causes her to be a bitch to everyone around her. 

Listen to this man, he speaks the language of experienced truth. 

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tbone_

tbone_ 13963

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The ultimate problem here is that she'll take too long in the shower, which causes her to be running late, which causes her to be a bitch to everyone around her. 

Are you expecting to wake up one day and see that the sky has magically turned green instead of blue?
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ROFL BOX

ROFL BOX 6618

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Phone call, her Dad is in the hospital.

 

Me:  Sounds noisy in the background.  Who all is there?

Her: Well, Mom & Dad, Roxette, Monster, K & D [her (2) sisters], "S" who is a friend of sister K, "H", who is a friend of Roxette...

Me:  Yeah, I would EXPECT your Dad would be there.

Her:  You're an ass.

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