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Posted
6 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Wife and life related, but as we get older I think we just have less tolerance for wasting time. Maybe we hear the death clock, maybe it's something else, but I see it professionally, in the dating world and in marriages of close friends and family. Maybe not everyone but most rational, nice people I know cut right to the chase and call the situation what it is pretty quickly. I think, by necessity marriage is addressed differently verbally, but the feelings are no less present. 

Same.  For me it's also the realization that only very few things actually matter and that I have so much fucking shit going on at all times that the irrelevant and pointless gets filtered out way fast.  I'm sure I come off sometimes as a dismissive, rude prick, but that doesn't matter, so I don't care.

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Posted
1 minute ago, Beau Vine said:

^^^^^

Those dudes were just undoubtedly swimming in top-shelf pussy.

Top-Shelf Pussy is a damned fine band name, particularly if there are some Hoffs and Peterson sisters in there.

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Posted
21 hours ago, nnm said:

So I followed this up with "deep research" on ChatGPT.  Pre-Luka, Mavs viewership in the DFW area drew a .7-1.3 rating, translating to between 22,000 and 41,000 households in DFW.  That peaked during the Luka years with average regular-season ratings around 2.6 (around 82,000 households).  

In case anyone is living under a rock, Luka is no longer playing for Dallas, and they had three starters out last night.

In contrast, for The Bachelor in the DFW market, the season’s average household rating (approximately 3–4 in DFW) corresponds to roughly 95,000–125,000 homes watching per episode locally.  Mrs. NNM tells me that last night's episode was "hometown" episode, when they take the bachelor to his hometown for whatever shenanigans are appropriate.  Apparently, this year's bachelor is a Dallas guy, so there's even higher interest in DFW.  

So for some absolutely insane reason, some exec at WFAA decided that they would piss off 95,000 to 125,000 women (plus all their girlfriends who were coming over for a watch party) in the DFW market, and instead put out a putrid product with a pathetic team that, at best, 41,000 households tuned into.

Someone should be fired.  

Meh. Pretty sure this was part of the contract with the Mavs. I think they only get like 10 on WFAA every season. Also, one is a live event the other isn't. People aren't going to watch the Mavs in replay. But those women are going to watch replay of some way or another of the Bachelor. Live that night, DVR'd or when it's on a streaming app - I have no idea how that might affect WFAA, but it's not going to affect the Bachelor's viewership.

Posted
19 hours ago, Modessit said:

I think I told this story in the Dad's thread:

When my son was about 4 (he's 11 now), I took him with me to pick up some BBQ. He was big into Paw Patrol at the time ("Chase is on the case!") so was excited to see some county sheriff's vehicles parked outside. We went inside and saw they were all seated at a table against the wall. As I went to order, I told him to go say "Hi". He eagerly went that direction as I placed my order. Suddenly, I heard them all laughing loudly. After I paid, I went over to see what was going on. They told me that, instead of saying "Hi", the first thing he said was, "The other day, my mom drove through a yellow light without slowing down and stopping."

Sort of the other way around:  My daughter was about the same age, 4 or 5, we get back from wherever we had gone, she tells my wife "I like riding in the car with Daddy on the freeway when he drives fast!  It's a little bit scary, but it's a little bit fun!!"

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Posted

Last night at 12AM, the wife told me her plan to sign up our kids for all sorts of summer camps (kids are expensive BTW!)

Her: I'm going to sign up daughter and you sign up son but you can't sign them up until tomorrow 5AM because that's when the enrollment period starts so you'll need to set an alarm and I want you to sign him for these these and these camps but he really cares about these 2 but not as much as the other ones so here they are in priority so sign him up for these 2 first then checkout to make sure you get them then you sign him up for the next 2 and check out to make sure you get those and if you have any questions go to page 28 of the catalog I've highlighted everything so you know what to do but make sure because the numbers don't correspond with the date and the priority that the kids want but I'll be awake as well so you can just ask me...

Me: It's 12AM. Can I just write this out as steps so I can follow them in the morning?

Her: But I already told you which camps to sign up for and in the order that I told you and if you have questions you can just look on page 28 of the catalog that I marked up.

Me: Can you just let me write this out? It's at 5AM, I need it simple!

 

*tone*

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Posted
On 3/4/2025 at 5:59 PM, thunderlounge said:


Your pain, I feel it.


Last night I was barraged by the wife bitching about how she is less inclined lately to go outside on break because she has to constantly listen to one of her work friends constantly bitch about one thing or another. She says it’s such a beating. 
 

 

Huh. No idea what that must be like  🙄

 

i hope to god this was you

1000428aa.jpg

 

Posted
On 3/5/2025 at 11:04 AM, Tex Long said:

Top-Shelf Pussy is a damned fine band name, particularly if there are some Hoffs and Peterson sisters in there.

It would also make for a very interesting thread title on ipihb. Discussions on cup size, labia-spread, and anal bleach could lead to CR-level shenanigans.

Posted
2 hours ago, Tex Long said:

It would also make for a very interesting thread title on ipihb. Discussions on cup size, labia-spread, and anal bleach could lead to CR-level shenanigans.

Hd Reaction GIF by MOODMAN

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Posted

New word day... Womanswer

 

Asked Miz Long, "hey, gotta bag of trash, shall I take out the kitchen garbage?"

"Not right now. You know, if..."

"Hold it, darlin' - I'ma take that as a No, I'll check later, I'm cleaning up some..."

"You never let me finish! I just wanted to tell you..."

"Naw, babe. I don't need to know why, I get it."

"You asshole! You're alway mansplaining stuff, and ..."

"Waitaminnit. That's exactly what you're doing right now. But you're a woman, so we gotta call it something else. I got it! You're giving me a womanswer!"

 

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Posted
23 hours ago, Tex Long said:

New word day... Womanswer

 

In our household, the wife apparently believes the official domestic language is womplaining.

On another note, she comes in a minute ago to tell me she's made some Indian food for lunch.  Chicken tequila masala.

To be fair, she's Costa Rican and is not really a language-oriented person. After 25 years of marriage, I've decided it's a convenient excuse to avoid seeking comprehension anyway -- just weigh risks and rewards, then move forward.

Posted (edited)
On 3/5/2025 at 4:24 PM, thunderlounge said:

3 4 camps apiece?

Damn. 

Those are the ones through the city. They'll probably do a cooking camp and I'm sure there's a VBS somewhere in between.

Kids are expensive, but wife also got a fat bonus + another bunch of stock. So I don't feel so bad.

Edited by Superhero
Posted

This is actually not the stupidity of my wife, but the stupidity of her employer.

They ask her to go on a business trip in May. She just booked the trip.

Now they go back and say please cancel the booking, and to re-book the trip in April (Q2), when it likely costs more, because they don't want to recognize the cost in Q1.

Nevermind the trip is like 0.00000% of company financials and etc. 

 

Posted
This is actually not the stupidity of my wife, but the stupidity of her employer.
They ask her to go on a business trip in May. She just booked the trip.
Now they go back and say please cancel the booking, and to re-book the trip in April (Q2), when it likely costs more, because they don't want to recognize the cost in Q1.
Nevermind the trip is like 0.00000% of company financials and etc. 
 

Sounds like a government job, amirite?
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Posted

I mean I get that.  It’s not just her cost but across the board those sort of things might add a fraction of a point to the net which might be the difference in making earnings or not. 

Posted
3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

This is actually not the stupidity of my wife, but the stupidity of her employer.

They ask her to go on a business trip in May. She just booked the trip.

Now they go back and say please cancel the booking, and to re-book the trip in April (Q2), when it likely costs more, because they don't want to recognize the cost in Q1.

Nevermind the trip is like 0.00000% of company financials and etc. 

 

What kind of fiscal year puts May in Q1 and April in Q2?

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Posted
3 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

This sounds really good, actually.

I know. The masala was good, but at the same time, I'm left thinking, "What might have been ..."

So now I'm googling around and found this cocktail recipe (which also sounds interesting) and this page called Hard Soups, which says about tequila masala, "This one is actually pretty gross but the pun was too strong for us to walk away." Somebody's gonna have to report back.

And somewhere in another room of the house, my wife is typing on a post called, "Stupid shit my husband does."

Posted
1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

Somewhere on the internet the womenfolk have a thread that mirrors this one. 

Yeah, it's called "why does my husband keep laughing at me?"

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Posted
1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

Somewhere on the internet the womenfolk have a thread that mirrors this one. 

That’s probably every woman-oriented message board. 

Posted
16 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

 

How would I know?

 

1. She files a T&L Advance request, gets a company check, deposits it.

2. Goes on trip, pays for all expenses with company credit card including any necessary purchases such "replacement laptops" and "tailoring"; keeps all receipts.

3. Files Expense Reimbursement report using all expenses' receipts, gets company check, deposits it.

Profit.

If she's not following the plan, you need to mansplain it to her.

Posted
3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

I would make fun of your wife but I went to the wrong wedding one time. Sat down in the church and realized I didn’t recognize anyone. 

I did that once. We were at a beach wedding in Cabo and my wife was a bridesmaid so I strolled my hungover ass down to the beach and apparently there were 3 weddings setting up at the same time. I didn't know most of the people at the wedding so I just had to either stand around like a dumbass or take a guess. I guessed wrong. 

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Posted
3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

I would make fun of your wife but I went to the wrong wedding one time. Sat down in the church and realized I didn’t recognize anyone. 

Uncle did the same for my cousin's wedding.  Showed up in his eaerly 60s vette, made quite the splash with most of the wedding guests, only to find out he was about 2 miles away from the wedding venue.

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Posted
22 hours ago, Superhero said:

Is it on a company CC?

If on a personal credit card, can't she just expense it later on?

Thats the compromise they came up with. Shes making the purchase privately then expensing it after the trip. 

Buying it now to secure the flight and hotel so we can do family vacation on top of the business trip. 

Posted
17 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Told the wife that I was taking the dog to the high school baseball game.. and later...

 

 

Screenshot_2025-03-12_215236.jpg

Screenshot_2025-03-12_215249.jpg

That’s some old man font. Your neighbor can probably read that with the blinds closed. 

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Posted

IMG_0079.thumb.jpeg.b6704c43e4e9e7623971b129b7c5d943.jpeg

 

To be fair, filling Mrs. NNM’s car with gas is something I’m happy to do. I make a point to quietly do it when I can. It’s one small thing I can do to make her life easier, and gas stations are not always safe for ladies. 

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Posted
On 12/23/2024 at 1:36 AM, Mole said:

The spreading phase lasted about 8 hours, followed by sleep, then the gathering phase, which is an all-hands situation. It takes a village to pack a bag.

The gathering phased lasted about 12 hours although there was some early Festivus celebrations thrown in with some occasional airing of grievances.

After the gathering phase, there’s the repacking phase, which overlaps quite intensely with the Airing of Grievances. Some was mutual and some was aimed at a particular in-law who no doubt earns the scorn.

We didn’t quite leave at our agreed upon time, but that’s just Christmas I guess.

I wish I were exaggerating what went down. It’s an annual tradition where all sanity breaks down. The worst 36 hours of every year.

We go to our house in mountains every summer after kids return from camp.  We drive because we are gone for months and take our dog.  It is a full two day drive of 2,000 miles.  Denver is the halfway point and we spend the night there.  We leave at 5 am every time.  Have for years.  I do all the driving.  Without fail, my wife will be up packing at 2 or 3 am every time.  She stays at home.  Does not work any more.  I do all the driving.  She does not understand why I start off the trip befuddled by her packing bullshit and getting onto her about messing up my sleep. 

It is not that complicated.  We are going to Montana.  Clothing for that is so simple.  But she starts packing weeks in advance like she's planning the invasion of Normandy and still does not have shit ready the night before so I can load the truck in advance.

Same shit when we go on any vacation.

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Posted

Wife goes ballistic if her tank ever drops below 3/8ths.  Granted, her SUV is roughly 225 to 250 a tank when driving around town.  But if it ever hits the "50 miles til empty" warning, you'd think the market just crashed or something.

My truck, OTOH, gets about 500 to the tank, and I prefer to get the tank drained down to about 2-3 gallons left before refilling.  That said, neither of us play that BS game of making the other drive it to the gas station on E.  Hell, even on vacation she gets nervous under 100 miles left on the tank with gas stations every 2-3 miles.

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Posted
17 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

We go to our house in mountains every summer after kids return from camp.  We drive because we are gone for months and take our dog.  It is a full two day drive of 2,000 miles.  Denver is the halfway point and we spend the night there.  We leave at 5 am every time.  Have for years.  I do all the driving.  Without fail, my wife will be up packing at 2 or 3 am every time.  She stays at home.  Does not work any more.  I do all the driving.  She does not understand why I start off the trip befuddled by her packing bullshit and getting onto her about messing up my sleep. 

It is not that complicated.  We are going to Montana.  Clothing for that is so simple.  But she starts packing weeks in advance like she's planning the invasion of Normandy and still does not have shit ready the night before so I can load the truck in advance.

Same shit when we go on any vacation.

i swear to god, in another dimension i just wrote this post, 99% word for word except for 'montana'.

next time i will tell her it starts 1 day earlier than the actual date, so her packing would actually be ready when we need to leave.

her excuse for not having the packing ready?  she has to spend lots of time doing a full clean of the house before we leave.

and what is the first thing that she does when we return?  another full clean of the house.  (WHY?!!?!?)

Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Wife goes ballistic if her tank ever drops below 3/8ths.  Granted, her SUV is roughly 225 to 250 a tank when driving around town.  But if it ever hits the "50 miles til empty" warning, you'd think the market just crashed or something.

My truck, OTOH, gets about 500 to the tank, and I prefer to get the tank drained down to about 2-3 gallons left before refilling.  That said, neither of us play that BS game of making the other drive it to the gas station on E.  Hell, even on vacation she gets nervous under 100 miles left on the tank with gas stations every 2-3 miles.

100% this in my house.

We'll be driving 20 miles away and the gauge says "100 Miles to Empty" and my wife will insist we should fill up right now.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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Posted (edited)

I thought I dodged a bullet on the car buying experience. My wife's car is 8 years old with 95K miles. I've been telling her we either need to get a new one or spend some money on getting new strut's, brakes, etc. for hers. I've dragged her around to look at new cars and asked her what she wanted to do, which she never answers. I've made appointments to look at cars and she wouldn't go. So I just gave up assuming she was content.

So we got a notice that she's getting some money from social security and I told her we could use it to fix her car. Then she asked me about getting a new car and asked why I waffle on getting one. I told her I didn't care and I was just following her lead of being non-committal. She then went on a rant that she never said she didn't want a new one, she likes all of them and it was my decision not to get a new one. When I pressed her on the fact that every time I tried to buy one she backed off, she said "Well I just started thinking about spending the money and  thought I didn't really need one when there's nothing wrong with mine". I said "So I'm to blame for following your lead of indecision and waffling to get a new car?" Silence. 

Edited by Crapinon
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Posted
IMG_0079.thumb.jpeg.b6704c43e4e9e7623971b129b7c5d943.jpeg
 
To be fair, filling Mrs. NNM’s car with gas is something I’m happy to do. I make a point to quietly do it when I can. It’s one small thing I can do to make her life easier, and gas stations are not always safe for ladies. 

My Dad has always done this for my Mom and I admire him for that. For multiple reasons.
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Posted
On 3/17/2025 at 12:05 PM, nnm said:

IMG_0079.thumb.jpeg.b6704c43e4e9e7623971b129b7c5d943.jpeg

 

To be fair, filling Mrs. NNM’s car with gas is something I’m happy to do. I make a point to quietly do it when I can. It’s one small thing I can do to make her life easier, and gas stations are not always safe for ladies. 

It’s not to that extent, but I get my wife’s car out of the garage every morning and warm it up for her. 
90% is out of love, 10% is to ensure warm oil. 

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Posted
3 hours ago, Crapinon said:

I thought I dodged a bullet on the car buying experience. My wife's car is 8 years old with 95K miles. I've been telling her we either need to get a new one or spend some money on getting new strut's, brakes, etc. for hers. I've dragged her around to look at new cars and asked her what she wanted to do, which she never answers. I've made appointments to look at cars and she wouldn't go. So I just gave up assuming she was content.

So we got a notice that she's getting some money from social security and I told her we could use it to fix her car. Then she asked me about getting a new car and asked why I waffle on getting one. I told her I didn't care and I was just following her lead of being non-committal. She then went on a rant that she never said she didn't want a new one, she likes all of them and it was my decision not to get a new one. When I pressed her on the fact that every time I tried to buy one she backed off, she said "Well I just started thinking about spending the money and  thought I didn't really need one when there's nothing wrong with mine". I said "So I'm to blame for following your lead of indecision and waffling to get a new car?" Silence. 

*struts

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