Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
Why are they so angry when they are party prepping? It wasn’t my idea to host her book club here.

Oh man absolutely this. We are at the point that I don’t even come in the house and work on outside prep. If I do it’s like a full auto rifle.
  • Haha 1
Posted
8 minutes ago, Tylerocks said:

Do you guys get texts interrupting your bathroom sessions?

 

"Where are you??"

"Are you almost done?"

 

 

wtf is that about?

It’s unreal. You haven’t talked to me all day, and now you have an urgent question about whatever the fuck?

Posted
10 hours ago, Tylerocks said:

Do you guys get texts interrupting your bathroom sessions?

 

"Where are you??"

"Are you almost done?"

 

 

wtf is that about?

THIS. It's a sixth sense that wives have.  OMG he's been in the bathroom for 10 minutes!  Screaming, jealousy, claims of abandoning the family, being a deadbeat dad, betrayal.  WTF I'm taking a shit, woman.  I'll be out in a few minutes.

Posted

On the other hand, their bathroom visits - regardless of whether they consist of nothing more than grabbing a nail clipper to go trim the sprouts with - culminate with the fart fan switched to "Full On" instead of only 60 minutes, even if it's 0200.

 

Posted
On 4/20/2025 at 9:27 AM, Tylerocks said:

Do you guys get texts interrupting your bathroom sessions?

 

"Where are you??"

"Are you almost done?"

 

 

wtf is that about?

Did you give your dog a phone? Wtf?

  • Haha 1
  • Drool 1
Posted
12 minutes ago, thunderlounge said:

TIL: he was not speaking of a perimeter alarm. 

I even googled it before posting the Chris Rock gif.  Maybe I should've figured it out from the thread context, but I didn't.  

Posted
31 minutes ago, nnm said:

I even googled it before posting the Chris Rock gif.  Maybe I should've figured it out from the thread context, but I didn't.  

 

perimeter alarm came from google. 😂

  • Haha 2
Posted
Oh shit. Wife(43) sounded the Peri alarm this morning while we made the kids breakfast.
Learning from those unwise souls above I just stared blankly ahead and took a large gulp of coffee.

We’re here for you, dude. Be proud that she is aware. You are ahead of the game.
  • Hook 'Em 3
Posted

I know it's stolen valor since it's not a wife but the wildest and longest (5+ years) friend with benefits of my life just started perimenopause at 42.  She is now my friend.  

It's stunning what happened to her drive and general demeanor.  Good luck.

  • Like 1
  • Rage+1 1
Posted
5 hours ago, Not a cat said:

I know it's stolen valor since it's not a wife but the wildest and longest (5+ years) friend with benefits of my life just started perimenopause at 42.  She is now my friend.  

It's stunning what happened to her drive and general demeanor.  Good luck.

It's not all women. Some of the horniest women I've encountered were in the midst of perimenopause. 

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
  • Drool 1
Posted
On 4/21/2025 at 10:40 AM, Tex Long said:

On the other hand, their bathroom visits - regardless of whether they consist of nothing more than grabbing a nail clipper to go trim the sprouts with - culminate with the fart fan switched to "Full On" instead of only 60 minutes, even if it's 0200.

 

My husband won't fix my fart fan.  I can't decide if he's lazy or gross.  Probly a little of both.

  • Haha 2
  • Drool 1
Posted
22 minutes ago, tigol said:

My husband won't fix my fart fan.  I can't decide if he's lazy or gross.  Probly a little of both.

Next birhday - or whatever occasion - buy him a new one. But make certain the switch has a remote.

Posted
2 hours ago, tigol said:

My husband won't fix my fart fan.  I can't decide if he's lazy or gross.  Probly a little of both.

Is this you?

 

Posted

I was going out for a farewell party for a friend. 15 minutes before I'm supposed to leave the house.

 

Her: Can you grill the galbi before you go?

Me: Okay, where is it?

Her: It's still frozen...

Posted
6 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

She turned on the light to walk through the laundry room to go into the garage and get in her car and leave.  It's broad fucking daylight and that room might be 10' wide

I'm not saying you wouldn't be convicted if you shot her - just saying that I would understand. 

  • Rage+1 1
Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

She turned on the light to walk through the laundry room to go into the garage and get in her car and leave.  It's broad fucking daylight and that room might be 10' wide

Feel Your Pain GIFs | Tenor

The entrance to our garage is not even down a hallway. All you do is turn a corner. Why the fuck do you need to turn on a light to turn a corner?

Edited by HornOnTheBayou
  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
I was going out for a farewell party for a friend. 15 minutes before I'm supposed to leave the house.
 
Her: Can you grill the galbi before you go?
Me: Okay, where is it?
Her: It's still frozen...

I think I’ve mentioned this before but my wife’s process to this is similar.
Shooting for dinner at 6? Well let’s get the 9lb block of frozen chicken out at 5 and put it on the back porch to defrost. She’s not a good cook but I never say a word.
Posted
9 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


I think I’ve mentioned this before but my wife’s process to this is similar.
Shooting for dinner at 6? Well let’s get the 9lb block of frozen chicken out at 5 and put it on the back porch to defrost. She’s not a good cook but I never say a word.

Good in bed, huh?

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Posted
5 hours ago, Tex Long said:

Giver and receiver of multiple screaming orgasms... makes up for a lot.

Giver of screaming orgasms? She has a lucky girlfriend 

  • Haha 2

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...