Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
  On 11/2/2018 at 3:55 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

I'm sitting down in the living room shooting the shit with my 13 year old son who is in the chair next to me. My wife tells him to get up so she can sit where he is and talk to me. My son tells her that he isn't giving up his seat and says that he is just like Rosa Parks. My wife then chimes in that they arrested Rosa Parks for prostitution. My son and I both look at her like WTF? He tells her no, she got arrested for not giving up her seat on the bus to a white person. My wife then insists that the story of her not giving up her seat is accurate, but when they pulled her off of the bus they arrested her for prostitution. 

Expand  

We need a new Things I Found... thread if it hasn't already been started.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
  On 11/2/2018 at 5:13 PM, Armybrat said:

Don’t know whether to laugh or cry, we drove down from Round Rock to San Antonio yesterday to check into a hotel to attend the wife's cousin’s funeral in  nearby Boerne this morning.
Anyway, after a blah hotel breakfast and while getting ready to leave for said shuffleoff services, Mrs. Brat checked her phone again for the church address and she discovered that the funeral is actually scheduled for NEXT Friday!

fml

Expand  

I get the feeling that your life at this juncture is one long road trip from funeral to funeral.  Wonder whose you have missed to be in boerne a week early. 

 

But you you know what they say...the early boerne gets the worm food. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
  • Like 1
Posted

No kidding - our friends & relatives are dropping like flies. Seems like most of our social gatherings are at post mortem receptions. At least I know there is one that I won't be around to attend.

  • Like 1
Posted
  On 11/2/2018 at 5:13 PM, Armybrat said:

Don’t know whether to laugh or cry, we drove down from Round Rock to San Antonio yesterday to check into a hotel to attend the wife's cousin’s funeral in  nearby Boerne this morning.
Anyway, after a blah hotel breakfast and while getting ready to leave for said shuffleoff services, Mrs. Brat checked her phone again for the church address and she discovered that the funeral is actually scheduled for NEXT Friday!

fml

Expand  

Might as well head on over to the Dodging Duck for a few beers before you leave.

Posted
  On 11/2/2018 at 5:13 PM, Armybrat said:
Don’t know whether to laugh or cry, we drove down from Round Rock to San Antonio yesterday to check into a hotel to attend the wife's cousin’s funeral in  nearby Boerne this morning.
Anyway, after a blah hotel breakfast and while getting ready to leave for said shuffleoff services, Mrs. Brat checked her phone again for the church address and she discovered that the funeral is actually scheduled for NEXT Friday!
fml


That body gone be ripe
Posted

I'm officially eligible to contribute to this thread now as of 5:30 yesterday evening.

Other than her and her ride or die gals getting blitzed at the reception and doing normal drunk things there's nothing to report as of yet.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 1:25 AM, BearSchlong said:
I'm officially eligible to contribute to this thread now as of 5:30 yesterday evening.

Other than her and her ride or die gals getting blitzed at the reception and doing normal drunk things there's nothing to report as of yet.
She banged your best man?
  • Like 2
Posted

“Why do we have a data cap on our cell plan. Isn’t there like unlimited amounts of data in the world.”

 

i almost wanted to pull that Chinese bus driver move off the Mansfield dam bridge but had the kids in the car. 

  • Like 4
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 1:25 AM, BearSchlong said:

I'm officially eligible to contribute to this thread now as of 5:30 yesterday evening.

Other than her and her ride or die gals getting blitzed at the reception and doing normal drunk things there's nothing to report as of yet.

Expand  

 

image.jpg

  • Like 4
Posted
  On 10/21/2018 at 3:25 PM, luke duke said:
Do you realize that its possible to plug any USB cord into the power bank?

Late getting back to this...but that’s not the case on this one. It’s all pretty, and the outgoing cord is attached. There is no USB slot. Just the small charging slot, and the built-in outgoing charger. It’s a stupid - but pretty! - design.
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 1:09 PM, Anastasis said:
“Why do we have a data cap on our cell plan. Isn’t there like unlimited amounts of data in the world.”
 
i almost wanted to pull that Chinese bus driver move off the Mansfield dam bridge but had the kids in the car. 
There's a commercial I actually like where dude1 says, "No job, no family, just walk away. That's my number one fantasy." Dude2, "Number one fantasy pick."

This made me think of that, so thanks.
  • Like 1
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 1:09 PM, Anastasis said:

“Why do we have a data cap on our cell plan. Isn’t there like unlimited amounts of data in the world.”

 

i almost wanted to pull that Chinese bus driver move off the Mansfield dam bridge but had the kids in the car. 

Expand  

The slant route.

Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 2:01 PM, DaysOff said:

There's a commercial I actually like where dude1 says, "No job, no family, just walk away. That's my number one fantasy." Dude2, "Number one fantasy pick."

This made me think of that, so thanks.

Expand  

My wife does not appreciate it when I laugh out loud at that commercial.  

  • Like 2
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 2:01 PM, DaysOff said:
There's a commercial I actually like where dude1 says, "No job, no family, just walk away. That's my number one fantasy." Dude2, "Number one fantasy pick."

This made me think of that, so thanks.
that's a dark commercial, with the existential question deliberately engineered by he creators. I wonder how many guys saw that and just mentally snapped?
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 1:09 PM, Anastasis said:

“Why do we have a data cap on our cell plan. Isn’t there like unlimited amounts of data in the world.”

 

i almost wanted to pull that Chinese bus driver move off the Mansfield dam bridge but had the kids in the car. 

Expand  

wait, are you talking about a hard cap on a data bucket (10 GB of data to share!) or are you talking about the soft cap on an unlimited plan (27 GB at LTE then we may throttle if there's congestion)?  because if the former, that's on you.  no excuse not to be on unlimited these days.

Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 6:26 PM, BearSchlong said:

So Mitch, about those emails is he the asshole or is she?

Expand  

At this point, they have both become so toxic to each other that they must share blame. There is so much anger and resentment built up on both sides that they fight all the time and act terribly towards each other. But she is the root cause of it all, unequivocally. She has virtually no redeeming qualities whatsoever and he's been putting up with her ridiculous bullshit for years. His biggest fault is that he's let her drive him crazy. He should have left her years ago. The whole time he was MIA, I was thinking, "Holy shit, you magnificent bastard. You finally had the balls to get the fuck out and leave." I was so happy for him.

The big email fight is about her not wanting to go visit his parents for Thanksgiving. And oh yeah, his father is supposedly dying of cancer and doesn't have much longer to live. There's more to it than that but suffice it to say that she is an awful human being.

And she will never stay at my house under any circumstances for anything longer than one night in a pinch. If her options are sleeping under the interstate bridge or my couch, I hope she learns to block out the traffic noise.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Posted

Back in the day, she was by any objective measure, a very pretty girl. Nowadays she's carrying a lot of bad weight and looks very unhealthy. Maybe a 4? Or on the rare occasion that she cleans herself up, a 5? She's so unattractive to me as a human being that it skews my rating. I wouldn't fuck her with Vic Mackey's dick.

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 9:02 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

At this point, they have both become so toxic to each other that they must share blame. There is so much anger and resentment built up on both sides that they fight all the time and act terribly towards each other. But she is the root cause of it all, unequivocally. She has virtually no redeeming qualities whatsoever and he's been putting up with her ridiculous bullshit for years. His biggest fault is that he's let her drive him crazy. He should have left her years ago. The whole time he was MIA, I was thinking, "Holy shit, you magnificent bastard. You finally had the balls to get the fuck out and leave." I was so happy for him.

The big email fight is about her not wanting to go visit his parents for Thanksgiving. And oh yeah, his father is supposedly dying of cancer and doesn't have much longer to live. There's more to it than that but suffice it to say that she is an awful human being.

And she will never stay at my house under any circumstances for anything longer than one night in a pinch. If her options are sleeping under the interstate bridge or my couch, I hope she learns to block out the traffic noise.

Expand  

You heartless bastard.  She’s family.  You have a moral obligation to help.  Here:

810ds6HkVRL._SX425_PIbundle-2,TopRight,0

Posted
  On 11/2/2018 at 3:55 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

I'm sitting down in the living room shooting the shit with my 13 year old son who is in the chair next to me. My wife tells him to get up so she can sit where he is and talk to me. My son tells her that he isn't giving up his seat and says that he is just like Rosa Parks. My wife then chimes in that they arrested Rosa Parks for prostitution. My son and I both look at her like WTF? He tells her no, she got arrested for not giving up her seat on the bus to a white person. My wife then insists that the story of her not giving up her seat is accurate, but when they pulled her off of the bus they arrested her for prostitution. 

Expand  

Oh turning Trixie!

  • Haha 1
Posted
  On 11/6/2018 at 1:09 PM, Modessit said:

Pissing off your husband while he's in the land of cheap hookers. Great idea.

Expand  

See, Walter Cronkite and his wife had a good arrangement - when he was traveling he could fuck whoever he wanted just as long as news of it never made it back to his wife.  If his biography is accurate, then he had a great thing going.

if he were alive in 2018, he'd have been #metoo'd.

Posted
  On 11/6/2018 at 5:30 PM, BearSchlong said:

See, Walter Cronkite and his wife had a good arrangement - when he was traveling he could fuck whoever he wanted just as long as news of it never made it back to his wife.  If his biography is accurate, then he had a great thing going.

if he were alive in 2018, he'd have been #metoo'd.

Expand  

I have that same deal in place, my wife just doesn't know about it.

  • Like 5
  • Haha 1
Posted
  On 11/5/2018 at 9:53 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Back in the day, she was by any objective measure, a very pretty girl. Nowadays she's carrying a lot of bad weight and looks very unhealthy. Maybe a 4? Or on the rare occasion that she cleans herself up, a 5? She's so unattractive to me as a human being that it skews my rating. I wouldn't fuck her with Vic Mackey's dick.

Expand  

But Vic would though, right?

Posted

Wife dropped her phone yesterday and cracked the screen. Today she got the screen replaced and, to show me that the replacement worked, she sent a screenshot. 

She immediately realized her mistake, but still. Goddamn.

  • Like 5
  • Haha 2
Posted
  On 11/7/2018 at 5:44 PM, WashHorn said:

Wife dropped her phone yesterday and cracked the screen. Today she got the screen replaced and, to show me that the replacement worked, she sent a screenshot. 

She immediately realized her mistake, but still. Goddamn.

Expand  

Yeah, a screenshot won't work for that, you have to actually take a picture of the screen with the phone.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...