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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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52-80

52-80 19379

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Posted

She left the rear window of my car cracked while it was parked outside.  It rained all night last night.

 

I wasn't even mad.  Just asked her to take a hairdryer to it to minimize fucking mould growing in the car.

 

Of course, if I did something as innocuous as leave the house window cracked, or left a light on, it would be tantamount to accelerating Armageddon.

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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Went to the sink just now to rinse out a bowl. Saw there was a lemon in the drain that hadn't gone down all the way. I guess Mrs CL was trying to air out the disposal. 

No problem. I'll turn it on and run it for a few seconds.

IMG_2220.JPG

Damn thing wouldn't even turn. Just buzzed. 

 

Didn't take long to figure out why.

 

IMG_2221.JPG

 

Don't be so hard on her dude.  That's a Festivus tradition in our home.  After the airing of the grievances, we "clear the air" so to speak by "clearing the drain" with rotten lemons.  

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DFWTexEx

DFWTexEx 278

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14 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

First day he just taped up everything, covered the floors etc. He knocked out the actual painting in about 8-9 hours on Saturday. But yeah... cost a grand. I actually dig it and the kids think it's cool so I'm good with it all. 

If you live in a neighborhood that does home tours and if your house is ever on it, I'd pay to see this and everything else in your house.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15450

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Posted (edited)
44 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

Mitch is here to remind the rest of us that we’re just a bunch of fucking amateurs when it comes to this shit.

Wait until she messes up the mural by wanting to put true ‘vintage’ shiplap on those ceilings.  

Edited by Trey3216
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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10096

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Don’t know if those goes here or trivial things that annoy me thread.
Helping my wife wrap presents. We’re using some amazon boxes to wrap the gifts in. We’re using clear packing tape to close the boxes. We don’t have a tape holder. Every time I use the tape, I fold the end over so it’s easy to find the edge when you need to use it again. The wife lets the tape stick back on the roll after she tapes a box shut so I spend about 5 mins trying to find the edge and get it started again. This has happened about 3 or 4 times today.
She would be wrapping shit until she learns better.
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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19407

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19 hours ago, Billy Pilgrim said:

Don’t know if those goes here or trivial things that annoy me thread.

Helping my wife wrap presents. We’re using some amazon boxes to wrap the gifts in. We’re using clear packing tape to close the boxes. We don’t have a tape holder. Every time I use the tape, I fold the end over so it’s easy to find the edge when you need to use it again. The wife lets the tape stick back on the roll after she tapes a box shut so I spend about 5 mins trying to find the edge and get it started again. This has happened about 3 or 4 times today.

Buy a second roll of tape.  Jeesh.

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Pogo

Pogo 286

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On 12/25/2018 at 4:43 AM, mulletpelini said:

he's right.  won't do any good to change the woman, next one will do the same thing.  because its selfish.

This is known as the "gay theory" in my house.  When the wife does something annoying, I have to ask myself if I ditch her and get another chick, is that chick going to do the same thing?  If the answer is yes, my options are a) suck it up and deal with it as best I can; b) turn gay and marry a dude who wouldn't do that.  So far, I'm still married to her.  BTW, she has her own "lesbian theory" as well.  Works both ways.

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ABSR

ABSR 5357

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1 hour ago, Pogo said:

This is known as the "gay theory" in my house.  When the wife does something annoying, I have to ask myself if I ditch her and get another chick, is that chick going to do the same thing?  If the answer is yes, my options are a) suck it up and deal with it as best I can; b) turn gay and marry a dude who wouldn't do that.  So far, I'm still married to her.  BTW, she has her own "lesbian theory" as well.  Works both ways.

Sounds like your wife has the problem licked and you have the problem .....   Well, good luck with that.

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BadgerHorn

BadgerHorn 147

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[Not my wife disclaimer]

Setting: FedEx Print/Ship Center.  Couple in front of me discussing batch printing pamphlets with the cashier.

Wife: When it's done, are you able to ship them to me? Or do I have to come here to pick them up?

[FedEx Rep makes a wry smile.  Husband chuckles under his breath]

FedEx Rep: Ummm, yes, ma'am, we can arrange to have the final product shipped to you.

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Coyote

Coyote 269

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Posted

Brother and SIL are coming to visit. We moved into our house a few months ago and still haven’t finished furnishing the guest bedrooms. Wife left this morning to buy everything to finish out the rooms, bedside tables being the big ticket item. She’s adamant about having everything In order before they get here. Walking out the door she asks what her budget is, I tell her that I just want her to find something she is happy with.

She shows up with mismatching barley twist antique bullshit from a shop in old town Spring and some 80 grit sandpaper that the dipshit in the store told her to buy to “restore” them.

My brother and SIL will be here tomorrow afternoon.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18030

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1 hour ago, Coyote said:

Brother and SIL are coming to visit. We moved into our house a few months ago and still haven’t finished furnishing the guest bedrooms. Wife left this morning to buy everything to finish out the rooms, bedside tables being the big ticket item. She’s adamant about having everything In order before they get here. Walking out the door she asks what her budget is, I tell her that I just want her to find something she is happy with.

She shows up with mismatching barley twist antique bullshit from a shop in old town Spring and some 80 grit sandpaper that the dipshit in the store told her to buy to “restore” them.

My brother and SIL will be here tomorrow afternoon.

What did you say to her?

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28904

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Coyote said:

Brother and SIL are coming to visit. We moved into our house a few months ago and still haven’t finished furnishing the guest bedrooms. Wife left this morning to buy everything to finish out the rooms, bedside tables being the big ticket item. She’s adamant about having everything In order before they get here. Walking out the door she asks what her budget is, I tell her that I just want her to find something she is happy with.

She shows up with mismatching barley twist antique bullshit from a shop in old town Spring and some 80 grit sandpaper that the dipshit in the store told her to buy to “restore” them.

My brother and SIL will be here tomorrow afternoon.

Pics of mismatching barley twist antique bullshit aren't showing up. 

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Coyote

Coyote 269

Posted
Posted

 

 

 

What did you say to her?

Nothing. She was so proud of her bargain finds. Unlimited budget and this is the shit she comes home with. To her credit, I walked out to the garage this morning to two almost finished tables. Kind of surprised.

 

bb37d2fe210cc8e5bba8b11907592cdb.jpg

2dd7ae818cb2a3b94459deba1c808927.jpg

 

The bigger one had this pile of shit inside and weighed 85 lbs.

 

0acf3dc163c0b03218694422bddf9be2.jpg

 

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Clackles

Clackles 276

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Posted

This goes in the badass shit wives do category imo.  Got some stuff that looks infinitely better than some IKEA bullshit, then followed through on making them look nice, on a tight schedule, without asking for any help.  Plus a cool old sewing machine with a motor to tinker with.  Ought to be thinking about tinkering with her motor out of appreciation (yeah, I know, wife, not gonna happen, etc.).

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