Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Wife asks me if we could keep her sister's two yorkies, which are not housebroken, while she is off on a ski trip. If you ask me why her sister has never housebroken the dogs, I will ask you to consider her gender and look and the thread title. 
Me: We can keep them, as long as you clean up when they piss and/or shit on the floor. 
Wife: That's fine. I can do that. 
....Day 1 of Yorkies: 5 separate piles of shit in my house. Guess how many  piles of shit have been cleaned up by the wife. Also, guess who nearly tore an ACL slipping on dog piss in the kitchen. 
 

MasterCook * Stewed Dog (wedding style) Recipe By : Joe Sweeney Serving Size : 30 Preparation Time :3:00 Categories : Ethnic Lamb Philippines Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 3 kg dog meat -- * see note 1 1/2 cups vinegar 60 peppercorns -- crushed 6 tablespoons salt 12 cloves garlic -- crushed 1/2 cup cooking oil 6 cups onion -- sliced 3 cups tomato sauce 10 cups boiling water 6 cups red pepper -- cut into strips 6 pieces bay leaf 1 teaspoon tabasco sauce 1 1/2 cups liver spread -- ** see note 1 whole fresh pineapple -- cut 1/2 inch thick 1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire. 2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be used in other recpies) 3. Cut meat into 1″ cubes. Marinade meat in mixture of vinegar, peppercorn, salt and garlic for 2 hours. 4. Fry meat in oil using a large wok over an open fire, then add onions and chopped pineapple and suate until tender. 5. Pour in tomato sauce and boiling water, add green peper, bay leaf and tobasco. 6. Cover and simmer over warm coals until meat is tender. Blend in liver spread and cook for additional 5-7 minutes. * you can substiture lamb for dog. The taste is similar, but not as pungent. ** smooth liver pate will do as well. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Suggested Wine: San Miguel Beer Serving Ideas : Rice, naturally. NOTES : During my wedding reception, my brother- in-law suggested we add to the feast by having dog stew. Wanting to be part of the family, and having been subjected to all sorts of socials tests already, I agreed. The result was... well.. a lot better than I expected. In fact, it was great! It was only later I found out that dog should *not* be served at weddings, as it may make the bride and groom flight like dogs during the honeymoon. But what the heck. It didn't seem to have that effect... at least not until a few year later. :-) For the faint of heart, you can always substitute lamb in place of next door’s rover, but the meat will not be as sweet or as rich in flavor. Nutr. Assoc. : 3831 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

[markstanco 12576]

Me and the boys are shooting fireworks because we are got damn Americans.

Wife comes out "it may be a little late to be doing that"

[Trey3216 15346]

10 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

yea youre not going to get any sympathy from any of us. especially when you put it on your wife to pick it up. A simple no from the start and make your sister in law board them while she has to go skiing.

She skiing with Marty Ackerman? 

[huge 3793]

Also. Skiing costs a lot of money. Anyone that can afford to ski can afford to take care of their own fucking pet that are shit pets.

You have an awesome dog that everyone loves? I’ll keep it for a long weekend.

These floor shitters? GFYHSIL

[WhatTheBuck 28777]

6 hours ago, ABSR said:

Here is my Dad's dog/wife story.   Dad is in the Navy in 1960's, recently married to my mom, and getting ready to deploy to SE Asia.   Mom says she wants a dog.  Dad says "No, do not get a dog as we don't have room, money, time."   Dad's ship returns from 6-9 months overseas deployment.   No one meets him/ship on pier upon return.  Dad gets a ride home from a friend and is greeted as he opens the door by a Basset Hound bolting from the house and doing it's best Greyhound impersonation as it tries to run away.  Dad drops his bags and spends the next 10 minutes chasing down the dog they were not suppose to have.   He get's back to the house with the dog and my Mom telling him she thought he was getting in tomorrow.

Dad chasing the dog gave Mom's boyfriend time to escape. 

[Pato del Muerto 52490]

9 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Go on....

Killer post

[BearSchlong 8087]

I thought I could build up some political capital by agreeing to keep them. There have been talks of us getting a dog, and the SIL keeping it would save me from having to board it.. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. 

Son, that's not how done.

How much damage, $$$ wise, have those dogs done to your house?

I'd make the SIL write you a check to replace the carpets, if they were soiled.

[Modessit 5600]

Wife went grocery shopping and came home with some stuffed pasta dish with butternut squash in it. Nobody in my family likes squash - including her. I ask her why she got it and she said she wanted to get something different. I pointed out that nobody here likes squash and that I'm not eating it. She tells me that she'll save it for a night I'm working late and it's just her and the kids.

Fast forward a few nights and I come home to find a large amount of butternut squash pasta in a container in the fridge. Wife tells me the kids wouldn't eat it and she didn't like it.

Me: "So why did you put it in the fridge instead of the garbage disposal?"

Her: "I thought you might want it."

It's still in the fridge.

[HornOnTheBayou 8921]

Packing for our Sugar Bowl trip:

Her: It's supposed to rain in New Orleans. We better bring some ponchos because I don't want to get wet during the game.

Me: *TLJ face because I grew up in South Louisiana which means she has watched thousands of Saints games, Sugar Bowls, Super Bowls, etc with me over the years that took place in the Superdome.* Babe, the game is in the Superdome.

Her: I know, but for some reason I thought it was one of those stadiums with the retractable roofs.

Me: Fair, but don't you think that if it did have a retractable roof, they would close it if it was raining?

Tone.

 

[WhatTheBuck 28777]

48 minutes ago, Modessit said:

Wife went grocery shopping and came home with some stuffed pasta dish with butternut squash in it. Nobody in my family likes squash - including her. I ask her why she got it and she said she wanted to get something different. I pointed out that nobody here likes squash and that I'm not eating it. She tells me that she'll save it for a night I'm working late and it's just her and the kids.

Fast forward a few nights and I come home to find a large amount of butternut squash pasta in a container in the fridge. Wife tells me the kids wouldn't eat it and she didn't like it.

Me: "So why did you put it in the fridge instead of the garbage disposal?"

Her: "I thought you might want it."

It's still in the fridge.

Now it's your fault that food was wasted. 

[LebongJames 1807]

1 hour ago, Modessit said:

Wife went grocery shopping and came home with some stuffed pasta dish with butternut squash in it. Nobody in my family likes squash - including her. I ask her why she got it and she said she wanted to get something different. I pointed out that nobody here likes squash and that I'm not eating it. She tells me that she'll save it for a night I'm working late and it's just her and the kids.

Fast forward a few nights and I come home to find a large amount of butternut squash pasta in a container in the fridge. Wife tells me the kids wouldn't eat it and she didn't like it.

Me: "So why did you put it in the fridge instead of the garbage disposal?"

Her: "I thought you might want it."

It's still in the fridge.

Butternut Squash ravioli with sage brown butter sauce is delicious and tastes nothing like squash.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

2 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Packing for our Sugar Bowl trip:

Her: It's supposed to rain in New Orleans. We better bring some ponchos because I don't want to get wet during the game.

Me: *TLJ face because I grew up in South Louisiana which means she has watched thousands of Saints games, Sugar Bowls, Super Bowls, etc with me over the years that took place in the Superdome.* Babe, the game is in the Superdome.

Her: I know, but for some reason I thought it was one of those stadiums with the retractable roofs.

Me: Fair, but don't you think that if it did have a retractable roof, they would close it if it was raining?

Tone.

 

i hope you get wet walking to the game.

 

 

 

also can we get a poop update on the yorkies?

[Dennis Taylor 18814]

5 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Packing for our Sugar Bowl trip:

Her: It's supposed to rain in New Orleans. We better bring some ponchos because I don't want to get wet during the game.

Me: *TLJ face because I grew up in South Louisiana which means she has watched thousands of Saints games, Sugar Bowls, Super Bowls, etc with me over the years that took place in the Superdome.* Babe, the game is in the Superdome.

Her: I know, but for some reason I thought it was one of those stadiums with the retractable roofs.

Me: Fair, but don't you think that if it did have a retractable roof, they would close it if it was raining?

Tone.

 

Weather permitted 

[luke duke 6413]

I look forward to the stories of how your in-laws left water stains on your new shit.

[mulletpelini 5211]

15 hours ago, Modessit said:

Wife went grocery shopping and came home with some stuffed pasta dish with butternut squash in it. Nobody in my family likes squash - including her. I ask her why she got it and she said she wanted to get something different. I pointed out that nobody here likes squash and that I'm not eating it. She tells me that she'll save it for a night I'm working late and it's just her and the kids.

Fast forward a few nights and I come home to find a large amount of butternut squash pasta in a container in the fridge. Wife tells me the kids wouldn't eat it and she didn't like it.

Me: "So why did you put it in the fridge instead of the garbage disposal?"

Her: "I thought you might want it."

It's still in the fridge.

I bet if it was labeled "squash" she wouldn't have bought it.  "Butternut" sold it.  Marketers know who buys the groceries.

[hullabelew 3724]

Brother and SIL are coming to visit. We moved into our house a few months ago and still haven’t finished furnishing the guest bedrooms. Wife left this morning to buy everything to finish out the rooms, bedside tables being the big ticket item. She’s adamant about having everything In order before they get here. Walking out the door she asks what her budget is, I tell her that I just want her to find something she is happy with.

She shows up with mismatching barley twist antique bullshit from a shop in old town Spring and some 80 grit sandpaper that the dipshit in the store told her to buy to “restore” them.

My brother and SIL will be here tomorrow afternoon.

Another reason to firebomb HGTV HQ

[52-80 19151]

She follows this TV show that is not locally broadcast, nor is on streaming services available to us

She watches it through these sketchy websites....which is fine - I pirate torrents from questionable sites, too

 

Except these sites require account registration.  She asked me to "tune into" the show for her while she was busy ironing clothes (atleast there's an upside...). 

 

Her login credentials?? The exact same as used for everything else. 

Username? Might as well be birthday.address.favoritecolor.mothersmaidenname@email.com

 

Me: you know what I'm about to say right?

Her: yeah - don't even bother.

[Jameslaw121 4448]

On 1/1/2019 at 7:25 AM, Modessit said:

Wife went grocery shopping and came home with some stuffed pasta dish with butternut squash in it. Nobody in my family likes squash - including her. I ask her why she got it and she said she wanted to get something different. I pointed out that nobody here likes squash and that I'm not eating it. She tells me that she'll save it for a night I'm working late and it's just her and the kids.

Fast forward a few nights and I come home to find a large amount of butternut squash pasta in a container in the fridge. Wife tells me the kids wouldn't eat it and she didn't like it.

Me: "So why did you put it in the fridge instead of the garbage disposal?"

Her: "I thought you might want it."

It's still in the fridge.

I have this conversation with my wife about once a month.

Her : I had lunch with my parents. I brought some leftovers home. Do you want them?

ME : Are they still vegetarian? 

Her -: yes

Me - then no

[WhatTheBuck 28777]

6 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I have this conversation with my wife about once a month.

Her : I had lunch with my parents. I brought some leftovers home. Do you want them?

ME : Are they still vegetarian? 

Her -: yes

Me - then no

What if it's Indian food?

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

11 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

What if it's Indian food?

Still vegetarian? 

[babysdaddy 2721]

On 12/31/2018 at 12:27 PM, texashorne said:

I thought I could build up some political capital by agreeing to keep them. There have been talks of us getting a dog, and the SIL keeping it would save me from having to board it.. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. 

Political capital with a wife is a myth.  If you think by doing something good or nice to please them will aide in your future benefit  for a boys trip you are sorely mistaken.  In their mind, all you're doing is paying for some shit you did earlier that you may or may not even be aware of.

[Modessit 5600]

Political capital with a wife is a myth.  If you think by doing something good or nice to please them will aide in your future benefit  for a boys trip you are sorely mistaken.  In their mind, all you're doing is paying for some shit you did earlier that you may or may not even be aware of.

Exactly. I've been sick and ran out of cough syrup about 9pm the other night. My wife had just put the kids to bed and I asked her if she'd run to the store and get me some more. She made a face and said, "I know - and you'd go if I asked you to." I reminded her of the time I went to the store at 3am to get her crackers because her stomach was bothering her and she wanted something bland to munch on. She agreed that was a nice thing I did.

She didn't go.

Told me it was cold outside and I could pick some up when I went to work in the morning.

[Buzzrock 14918]

Butternut squash is disgusting. And the name is a lie. Doesn’t taste like butter or nuts.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

Exactly. I've been sick and ran out of cough syrup about 9pm the other night. My wife had just put the kids to bed and I asked her if she'd run to the store and get me some more. She made a face and said, "I know - and you'd go if I asked you to." I reminded her of the time I went to the store at 3am to get her crackers because her stomach was bothering her and she wanted something bland to munch on. She agreed that was a nice thing I did.

She didn't go.

Told me it was cold outside and I could pick some up when I went to work in the morning.

I mean damn. That’s some cold ass shit right there.

[mulletpelini 5211]

It's selfish and it should be a huge red flag if you're not already legally stuck.

[WhatTheBuck 28777]

3 hours ago, Modessit said:

Exactly. I've been sick and ran out of cough syrup about 9pm the other night. My wife had just put the kids to bed and I asked her if she'd run to the store and get me some more. She made a face and said, "I know - and you'd go if I asked you to." I reminded her of the time I went to the store at 3am to get her crackers because her stomach was bothering her and she wanted something bland to munch on. She agreed that was a nice thing I did.

She didn't go.

Told me it was cold outside and I could pick some up when I went to work in the morning.

Hopefully she cares more about your kids' well being than she does yours. 

[Goofyboy 3292]

Exactly. I've been sick and ran out of cough syrup about 9pm the other night. My wife had just put the kids to bed and I asked her if she'd run to the store and get me some more. She made a face and said, "I know - and you'd go if I asked you to." I reminded her of the time I went to the store at 3am to get her crackers because her stomach was bothering her and she wanted something bland to munch on. She agreed that was a nice thing I did.

She didn't go.

Told me it was cold outside and I could pick some up when I went to work in the morning.

I think I might have left. That’s cold.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21905]

I would have told her that I’m going to get it myself and just never come back, but I would have coughed all in her face first.

 

[davidg 4036]

4 hours ago, Modessit said:

Exactly. I've been sick and ran out of cough syrup about 9pm the other night. My wife had just put the kids to bed and I asked her if she'd run to the store and get me some more. She made a face and said, "I know - and you'd go if I asked you to." I reminded her of the time I went to the store at 3am to get her crackers because her stomach was bothering her and she wanted something bland to munch on. She agreed that was a nice thing I did.

She didn't go.

Told me it was cold outside and I could pick some up when I went to work in the morning.

Sounds like a coupla four hot toddies at the bar while you were out getting you some medicine would have been in order. 

[markstanco 12576]

Now we need pics for the final judgment

[Brew 3049]

9 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Hopefully she cares more about your kids' well being than she does yours. 

I’m sure he has life insurance, so she may be thinking 3 steps ahead.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

9 hours ago, markstanco said:

Now we need pics for the final judgment

This. If she isn't hot as fuck, you need to see a lawyer.

[luke duke 6413]

I’m sure he has life insurance, so she may be thinking 3 steps ahead.

 

It’s asking a lot for most women to think 1 step ahead. “She” needs to be examined for a penis if “she” is thinking 3 steps ahead.

[Jerry Callo 8700]

56 minutes ago, luke duke said:

 

It’s asking a lot for most women to think 1 step ahead. “She” needs to be examined for a penis if “she” is thinking 3 steps ahead.

She's not playing checkers - she's playing 2D checkers.

[lateshow 1304]

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

 

It’s asking a lot for most women to think 1 step ahead. “She” needs to be examined for a penis if “she” is thinking 3 steps ahead.

He's married to Troph.

[Chewbacca 7776]

17 hours ago, Modessit said:

Exactly. I've been sick and ran out of cough syrup about 9pm the other night. My wife had just put the kids to bed and I asked her if she'd run to the store and get me some more. She made a face and said, "I know - and you'd go if I asked you to." I reminded her of the time I went to the store at 3am to get her crackers because her stomach was bothering her and she wanted something bland to munch on. She agreed that was a nice thing I did.

She didn't go.

Told me it was cold outside and I could pick some up when I went to work in the morning.

Fuck that shit.  My wife would bitch about it, but she would go.

[GSU&UT 1798]

Yeah that's pretty bad, incredibly selfish.

[Tyler Durden 132]

9 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

This. If she isn't hot as fuck, you need to see a lawyer.

She probably already has her eye on someone else so the choice probably won't be his in the end.

[BearSchlong 8087]

My wife would go get it for me. I think. I hope. I'm kidding, I know she would do it. Hell my ex wife would have too, and she hated me. Probably because I loved to guzzle the good stuff with codeine. Not because I had a cough, but cause it was awesome. Whatever.

 

I made more money than usual in Q4 FY 2018. I shouldn't have told her, our finances are separate. Today wife texts me with "hey there's a concert coming up in a month, Golden Nuggett, wanna go?" I agree and buy the tickets. Ask if I should book a room and make it a night, expecting that she would be fine with the Courtyard .4 miles from the casino for $150, which I suggest cause I'm a marriot points whore.

 

I get this back

 

"Do they have a large bathtub? The suites at the casino hotel have large bathtubs. We could do dinner, concert, maybe gamble a little"

 

(Biches love big bathtubs in hotels)

 

Red flags pop up. She hates to gamble. When I give her gambling money she pockets it and buys a handbag instead.

 

I book the suite. For an additional $200.

 

Walk in the door today after work and let her know. She says thanks, I say "oh you can show your appreciation the night of by getting flexible and freaky, after you've enjoyed that $200 bubble bath at the hotel."

 

Tone.

 

I love her. And she has no gag reflex whatsoever. Or maybe I just have a small dick. Or both. Whatever. Been married for 2 months now, gonna ride this streak as long as I can.

 

Also, I need to get some juice with the casino so I don't have to pay as much for rooms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[PilotsError 2287]

Two months lol

[PilotsError 2287]

And your finances aren't going to be separate for long.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

My wife would go get it for me. I think. I hope. I'm kidding, I know she would do it. Hell my ex wife would have too, and she hated me. Probably because I loved to guzzle the good stuff with codeine. Not because I had a cough, but cause it was awesome. Whatever.
 
I made more money than usual in Q4 FY 2018. I shouldn't have told her, our finances are separate. Today wife texts me with "hey there's a concert coming up in a month, Golden Nuggett, wanna go?" I agree and buy the tickets. Ask if I should book a room and make it a night, expecting that she would be fine with the Courtyard .4 miles from the casino for $150, which I suggest cause I'm a marriot points whore.
 
I get this back
 
"Do they have a large bathtub? The suites at the casino hotel have large bathtubs. We could do dinner, concert, maybe gamble a little"
 
(Biches love big bathtubs in hotels)
 
Red flags pop up. She hates to gamble. When I give her gambling money she pockets it and buys a handbag instead.
 
I book the suite. For an additional $200.
 
Walk in the door today after work and let her know. She says thanks, I say "oh you can show your appreciation the night of by getting flexible and freaky, after you've enjoyed that $200 bubble bath at the hotel."
 
Tone.
 
I love her. And she has no gag reflex whatsoever. Or maybe I just have a small dick. Or both. Whatever. Been married for 2 months now, gonna ride this streak as long as I can.
 
Also, I need to get some juice with the casino so I don't have to pay as much for rooms.
 
 
 
 
 
 

You're putting the pussy on the pedestal.

[WhatTheBuck 28777]

5 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

My wife would go get it for me. I think. I hope. I'm kidding, I know she would do it. Hell my ex wife would have too, and she hated me. Probably because I loved to guzzle the good stuff with codeine. Not because I had a cough, but cause it was awesome. Whatever.

 

I made more money than usual in Q4 FY 2018. I shouldn't have told her, our finances are separate. Today wife texts me with "hey there's a concert coming up in a month, Golden Nuggett, wanna go?" I agree and buy the tickets. Ask if I should book a room and make it a night, expecting that she would be fine with the Courtyard .4 miles from the casino for $150, which I suggest cause I'm a marriot points whore.

 

I get this back

 

"Do they have a large bathtub? The suites at the casino hotel have large bathtubs. We could do dinner, concert, maybe gamble a little"

 

(Biches love big bathtubs in hotels)

 

Red flags pop up. She hates to gamble. When I give her gambling money she pockets it and buys a handbag instead.

 

I book the suite. For an additional $200.

 

Walk in the door today after work and let her know. She says thanks, I say "oh you can show your appreciation the night of by getting flexible and freaky, after you've enjoyed that $200 bubble bath at the hotel."

 

Tone.

 

I love her. And she has no gag reflex whatsoever. Or maybe I just have a small dick. Or both. Whatever. Been married for 2 months now, gonna ride this streak as long as I can.

 

Also, I need to get some juice with the casino so I don't have to pay as much for rooms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What concert?

I'm all for a nice hotel room on vacation or special occasions. Enjoy the nice room. Save your Marriott points for more routine travel. (My dad had the same Marriott points addiction and it got kind of annoying.)

Don't give her money to gamble. Make her watch you shoot craps or play blackjack. 

[texasjacket 289]

24 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

5 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

My wife would go get it for me. I think. I hope. I'm kidding, I know she would do it. Hell my ex wife would have too, and she hated me. Probably because I loved to guzzle the good stuff with codeine. Not because I had a cough, but cause it was awesome. Whatever.
 
I made more money than usual in Q4 FY 2018. I shouldn't have told her, our finances are separate. Today wife texts me with "hey there's a concert coming up in a month, Golden Nuggett, wanna go?" I agree and buy the tickets. Ask if I should book a room and make it a night, expecting that she would be fine with the Courtyard .4 miles from the casino for $150, which I suggest cause I'm a marriot points whore.
 
I get this back
 
"Do they have a large bathtub? The suites at the casino hotel have large bathtubs. We could do dinner, concert, maybe gamble a little"
 
(Biches love big bathtubs in hotels)
 
Red flags pop up. She hates to gamble. When I give her gambling money she pockets it and buys a handbag instead.
 
I book the suite. For an additional $200.
 
Walk in the door today after work and let her know. She says thanks, I say "oh you can show your appreciation the night of by getting flexible and freaky, after you've enjoyed that $200 bubble bath at the hotel."
 
Tone.
 
I love her. And she has no gag reflex whatsoever. Or maybe I just have a small dick. Or both. Whatever. Been married for 2 months now, gonna ride this streak as long as I can.
 
Also, I need to get some juice with the casino so I don't have to pay as much for rooms.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Read more  

You're putting the pussy on the pedestal.

Putting? It already been there for more than two months.

[tbone_ 14118]

Bearschlong - I like you man. And your gf now wife sounds awesome.

However, we all know and so do you that it’s just a matter of time before you are a regular contributor. It’s a scientific law of nature.

[Pato del Muerto 52490]

9 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

My wife would go get it for me. I think. I hope. I'm kidding, I know she would do it. Hell my ex wife would have too, and she hated me. Probably because I loved to guzzle the good stuff with codeine. Not because I had a cough, but cause it was awesome. Whatever.

 

I made more money than usual in Q4 FY 2018. I shouldn't have told her, our finances are separate. Today wife texts me with "hey there's a concert coming up in a month, Golden Nuggett, wanna go?" I agree and buy the tickets. Ask if I should book a room and make it a night, expecting that she would be fine with the Courtyard .4 miles from the casino for $150, which I suggest cause I'm a marriot points whore.

 

I get this back

 

"Do they have a large bathtub? The suites at the casino hotel have large bathtubs. We could do dinner, concert, maybe gamble a little"

 

(Biches love big bathtubs in hotels)

 

Red flags pop up. She hates to gamble. When I give her gambling money she pockets it and buys a handbag instead.

 

I book the suite. For an additional $200.

 

Walk in the door today after work and let her know. She says thanks, I say "oh you can show your appreciation the night of by getting flexible and freaky, after you've enjoyed that $200 bubble bath at the hotel."

 

Tone.

 

I love her. And she has no gag reflex whatsoever. Or maybe I just have a small dick. Or both. Whatever. Been married for 2 months now, gonna ride this streak as long as I can.

 

Also, I need to get some juice with the casino so I don't have to pay as much for rooms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 months?  Listen, friend. It’s not your good Q4 that’s causing the extra spending.  There’s a new normal. 

[luke duke 6413]

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

Okay Luke now you're just being sexist. 

On normal every day shit, yeah, you're right. However, when it comes to ending the life of the lover or husband she's sick of, some heretofor untapped planning machination ability kicks in and they become Einsteins.

True. I guess I haven't pushed my wife to that point, yet.

[Archer 474]

9 hours ago, luke duke said:

True. I guess I haven't pushed my wife to that point, yet.

That you know about...

[TrashMaster G 17553]

10 hours ago, luke duke said:

True. I guess I haven't pushed my wife to that point, yet.

I pushed your wife to a point last night. 

[gecko 1104]