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Posted

One of the constant battles in my house is my efforts to disabuse her of the notion that drywall anchors can hold up anything and everything... including things like, I don't know....50" tv's.  Magic screws I guess.

 

Posted

Sitting in waitingroom while Getting oil changed in vehicle. Lady walks in and says, “ Igot my oil changed about 2 hours ago and your guy didn’t put the little sticker on my windshield.  How am I supposed to know when to come back?”

 

At least I finally saw in real life, the morons who require said sticker.

Posted
3 minutes ago, slorch said:

Sitting in waitingroom while Getting oil changed in vehicle. Lady walks in and says, “ Igot my oil changed about 2 hours ago and your guy didn’t put the little sticker on my windshield.  How am I supposed to know when to come back?”

 

At least I finally saw in real life, the morons who require said sticker.

Chill. My company prints those stickers. It's morons like your wife that allows me to donate to Surly.

Posted
2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Chill. My company prints those stickers. It's morons like your wife that allows me to donate to Surly.

Not my wife, sir.

 

Random lady, but fit the theme of the thread.

 

I’m quite certain job security is pretty solid in your field...

Posted
2 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

1. Come home early one day.

2. Rough up the house a bit.

3. Remove some of her valuable stuff (you can claim you bought it off of craigslist later).

4. Show her what happens when you don't lock the house/set the alarm.

5. ????

6. Profit.

8de521f76fc38b094f4a56ebdc0a6d307254db13

  • Like 1
Posted
26 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

better yet get one that her cell phone can unlock. 

We already established she can't remember her birthday as the code on the garage.  And you know where the cell phone is?   She doesn't either.

Posted
3 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

1. Come home early one day.

2. Find the locksmith roughing her up a bit, ifyouknowwhatImean

3. Remove all of your valuable stuff.

4. Contact lawyer, commence whoring around.

5. ????

6. Profit.

FIFY

Posted

Not sure where to put this and since I have the thread open,

Girl in my office just deadpan goes "What's the name of that green vegetable? The one I didn't eat with my lunch the other day?"

Broccoli. The answer was broccoli. 

  • Like 1
Posted
14 minutes ago, ABSR said:

We already established she can't remember her birthday as the code on the garage.  And you know where the cell phone is?   She doesn't either.

then i guess divorce?

  • Like 1
Posted
Sitting in waitingroom while Getting oil changed in vehicle. Lady walks in and says, “ Igot my oil changed about 2 hours ago and your guy didn’t put the little sticker on my windshield.  How am I supposed to know when to come back?”
 
At least I finally saw in real life, the morons who require said sticker.

Sad part is she probably sent her husband 15 text messages about what to do regarding the missing sticker. He finally broke down and told her to fucking go get it to get her out of his ass.
Posted
13 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Not sure where to put this and since I have the thread open,

Girl in my office just deadpan goes "What's the name of that green vegetable? The one I didn't eat with my lunch the other day?"

Broccoli. The answer was broccoli. 

Based upon this thread, she's wife material.

Posted
1 hour ago, tejas60 said:
 

 

 

geeezus people

 

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He already said she can't remember the passcode to the one in the garage where it's her own birthday. That wouldn't work. A key fob-operated lock, OTOH, might.

Posted
1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Not sure where to put this and since I have the thread open,

Girl in my office just deadpan goes "What's the name of that green vegetable? The one I didn't eat with my lunch the other day?"

Broccoli. The answer was broccoli. 

She sounds hot as fuck.

Posted
Just now, retread said:

Pics of broccoli girl? <:>)>

Not until I'm at a different job. 

There's a girl I made out with a few times in the "facebook friends" thread if you need something to tide you over. 

Posted
It was my daughter's 12th birthday a few days ago. My wife bought her balloons in the shape of a "1" and a "2". They have kept their helium since we bought them. My wife decided to throw them away today. I come home to find the two balloons floating above our garbage can with the ribbon stuck inside the can to keep them from flying away. 


I’m crying. This is so good. And the fact that it’s Mrs Cumsteen takes it to 11. And pics!
Posted
23 minutes ago, PantsTent said:

Our garbage disposal motor is not turning.  I guess I'm going to have to replace it.  Can't wait to find out what went in it to cause this.

 

Take the key that comes with it and spin the bitch. It'll come back to life.

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

But she'll leave the written down code in yesterday's purse

One of the people that works for me bought a computer bag at a school consignment sale back last fall. She brought the bag in the next day and there was a sheet stuck in the back pocket that had office door codes, office alarm codes, usernames and passwords for her computer and different websites, etc. written on it with the firm name and the female employees name on the top of the sheet. I just shook my head and was glad my wife isn’t that stupid. I mentioned it to the managing partner of the office and apparently she had been fired at some point after that.

Edited by Brew
Posted
3 minutes ago, Brew said:

One of the people that works for me bought a computer bag at a school consignment sale back last fall. She brought the bag in the next day and there was a sheet stuck in the back pocket that had office door codes, office alarm codes, usernames and passwords for her computer and different websites, etc. written on it with the firm name and the female employees name on the top of the sheet. I just shook my head and was glad my wife isn’t that stupid. I mentioned it to the managing partner of the office and apparently she had been fired at some point. 

Which school district?  Asking to make sure it wasn’t my wife.  (She has never been fired btw) 

Posted
Take the key that comes with it and spin the bitch. It'll come back to life.


Well fuck me. Didn't even know I had one of these keys, but sure enough, there was one in a drawer with some other stuff the builder left. My husband was able to free the jam in no time....

I still say she dropped something down there though.
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
3 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

I'm pretty sure by this point Mitch's garbage men are desensitized at what they might find on the curb.

Yep, they’ve already posted it to the “shit the garbage man sees” thread on wasteengineers.com 

  • Like 4
  • Haha 2
Posted
9 hours ago, PantsTent said:

 


Well fuck me. Didn't even know I had one of these keys, but sure enough, there was one in a drawer with some other stuff the builder left. My husband was able to free the jam in no time....

I still say she dropped something down there though.

 

Your husband? Who is 'she' then? 

Posted
1 minute ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Your husband? Who is 'she' then? 

Just a play on the normal joke around here when somebody doesn't know how to do something simple (like free a stuck garbage disposal) and the response is "have your husband do it".

 

Posted
On 1/15/2019 at 1:51 PM, slorch said:

Sitting in waitingroom while Getting oil changed in vehicle. Lady walks in and says, “ Igot my oil changed about 2 hours ago and your guy didn’t put the little sticker on my windshield.  How am I supposed to know when to come back?”

 

At least I finally saw in real life, the morons who require said sticker.

Shameful admission time.  I love those stickers and would probably go 10,000 miles between oil changes if I didn't have them.   

  • Like 1
Posted
37 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

My wife buys a case of bottled water every week.  We have a fridge with a water filter.

mine gets fiji water and then lets our 10 yo drink it too.  even the whole long story about how future humans are going to look back and jagsfan.gif on our generation for shipping water 6500 miles to be consumed elsewhere for $9-$10 a gallon did nothing to deter this.

  • Like 2
Posted
mine gets fiji water and then lets our 10 yo drink it too.  even the whole long story about how future humans are going to look back and jagsfan.gif on our generation for shipping water 6500 miles to be consumed elsewhere for $9-$10 a gallon did nothing to deter this.

Bottled water is the biggest scam. John Stossel exposed this about 20+ years ago. No one cared.
  • Like 1

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