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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5225

Posted
Posted
On 3/23/2019 at 11:39 AM, Brothahorn said:

I understand you doing what is needed to keep a happy home. But, I'll be damned if my wife is going to stop me from keeping something like syrup in my house. She doesn't have to touch, taste, smell or look at it. If I want some mutha fucking syrup, I'm gone have me some mutha fucking syrup.

Wife said no beer in the house yada yada yada, she's been divorced for 18 years now.

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ulukinatme

ulukinatme 1769

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

It's a shame you only have one set of sheets and bed covers.

Change your shit and make the woman clean / wash everything the next day.  Which by the way, you said she got called into work, but you were still cleaning at 4 AM.  She work at the titter?

Nurse

 

 

 

 

outfit at the titter.

Edited by ulukinatme
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tbone_

tbone_ 14455

Posted
Posted
Who the hell wouldn't enjoy some occasional peace and quiet in the house while the wife is out?

Girls night out a while back was at our house. About 10 of them.

I came home to two neighborhood moms buck naked in my pool. Yay girls night out.
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tbone_

tbone_ 14455

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I did not take pics. I have to live with all these people. Wasn’t the time to be creepy. Pretty sure the naked two don’t know that I saw. They were pretty hammered. I didn’t stick around and goon. But I might have scoped the situation from an upstairs window. And invited a neighbor buddy up to show him a new guitar.

 

No bush that I saw. I would have had to kick them out if that was the case.

 

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Hmbre97

Hmbre97 6337

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I did not take pics. I have to live with all these people. Wasn’t the time to be creepy. Pretty sure the naked two don’t know that I saw. They were pretty hammered. I didn’t stick around and goon. But I might have scoped the situation from an upstairs window. And invited a neighbor buddy up to show him a new guitar.
 
No bush that I saw. I would have had to kick them out if that was the case.
 
https://i.gifer.com/EyXG.gif
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William_Cannon

William_Cannon 86

Posted
Posted

Mrs Cannon: “I don’t want to talk about that anymore. It’s just frustrating”
Me: “great let’s talk about something else”
Mrs Cannon: ...but blah blah regarding the same topic
Me: “I thought you didn’t want to talk about that anymore”
Mrs Cannon: “yes but I just wanted to make sure you understood XYZ”
Me: “uh huh I see”. Mrs Cannon: takes the bait and keeps talking about what she originally didn’t want to talk about

This can literally happen with any topic.

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Modessit

Modessit 5667

Posted
Posted
Mrs Cannon: “I don’t want to talk about that anymore. It’s just frustrating”
Me: “great let’s talk about something else”
Mrs Cannon: ...but blah blah regarding the same topic
Me: “I thought you didn’t want to talk about that anymore”
Mrs Cannon: “yes but I just wanted to make sure you understood XYZ”
Me: “uh huh I see”. Mrs Cannon: takes the bait and keeps talking about what she originally didn’t want to talk about

This can literally happen with any topic.
It's not about the nail.
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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden 132

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, tbone_ said:

I did not take pics. I have to live with all these people. Wasn’t the time to be creepy. Pretty sure the naked two don’t know that I saw. They were pretty hammered. I didn’t stick around and goon. But I might have scoped the situation from an upstairs window. And invited a neighbor buddy up to show him a new guitar.

 

No bush that I saw. I would have had to kick them out if that was the case.

 

 

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Flg8rfan

Flg8rfan 201

Posted
Posted





You are either lying about you and your wifes relationship or you will be divorced within 5 years unless she is a total beta.

Hoping for the first.

Hit 19 years in Jan. Guess neither of us cared that much about girls/boys nights out when we were younger, and both of us believe busy kids stay out of trouble, so we’ve been too exhausted the past decade hauling teenagers around to practices and games.



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Brew

Brew 3049

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Flg8rfan said:


Hit 19 years in Jan. Guess neither of us cared that much about girls/boys nights out when we were younger, and both of us believe busy kids stay out of trouble, so we’ve been too exhausted the past decade hauling teenagers around to practices and games.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

That’s going to make for an interesting deal when the kids get cars, go to college, etc and you’re both sitting around staring at each other every night with no plans. Our kids have been active year round in sports since they were little, but we still find time to go do things individually with other people.

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Sandman

Sandman 3435

Posted
Posted

Wife made plans for us to have our 3 year old niece spend the night on Friday and stick around for most of Saturday, too. I was not made aware of these plans until last night, when I told her about some things we should do on Saturday. WTF do they constantly do this? I'm not raging mad but it sure is irritating when no one bothers to include you in this shit.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26442

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Wife made plans for us to have our 3 year old niece spend the night on Friday and stick around for most of Saturday, too. I was not made aware of these plans until last night, when I told her about some things we should do on Saturday. WTF do they constantly do this? I'm not raging mad but it sure is irritating when no one bothers to include you in this shit.

Many times, mine will just say "I told you!". 

When I seem dumbfounded, she'll say "Remember we were all talking about it the other day at Mom's house?"

But I wasn't at Mom's house...

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Many times, mine will just say "I told you!". 

When I seem dumbfounded, she'll say "Remember we were all talking about it the other day at Mom's house?"

But I wasn't at Mom's house...

what you can't read her mind? what an asshole.

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T’Boo Ted Marshall

T’Boo Ted Marshall 2779

Posted
Posted
Wife made plans for us to have our 3 year old niece spend the night on Friday and stick around for most of Saturday, too. I was not made aware of these plans until last night, when I told her about some things we should do on Saturday. WTF do they constantly do this? I'm not raging mad but it sure is irritating when no one bothers to include you in this shit.

I’m not held to any event not on our shared calendar. Even better that my wife routinely forgets to our events on the calendar.
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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8985

Posted
Posted
Wife made plans for us to have our 3 year old niece spend the night on Friday and stick around for most of Saturday, too. I was not made aware of these plans until last night, when I told her about some things we should do on Saturday. WTF do they constantly do this? I'm not raging mad but it sure is irritating when no one bothers to include you in this shit.

Do you have a kid similar in age? If so...then meh. If you're watching your 3 yo niece just to watch a 3 yo then I would be livid

 

 

What did you want to do on Saturday anyways besides sex

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18963

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Posted

So for those of you sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for an update on Toothless, the furniture re-upholstery guy who closed his shop in possession of a bunch of my wife's shit he was supposed to fix... after multiple phone calls to him that went straight to voice mail including a threat from me to call the police, my wife leaves one *last* message for him saying something to the effect of, "We've been friends a long time and I can't believe you would take my shit and not even return my phone call, don't make me call the cops, etc." The dude shockingly finally calls back.

Even more shockingly, last week he finishes up the chair my wife was obsessing the most about and delivers it. He's still got a bunch of her shit -- an old loveseat that folds out into a bed, a bunch of fabric, another chair and who knows what else. I'm not home when he brings the chair, but my wife decides it would be a good idea to write him a $250 check for the finished work and he "promises" to get the rest of the shit back to her. Me? I wouldn't have given the sumbitch a nickel until all of my shit was fixed and back in my possession, but what do I know about stuff like that?

But the worst part of it all was that Toothless drove up in a brand new Cadillac (RIP Joe Strummer) and my wife has been wanting a new car for awhile now. So that sent her over the edge that Toothless has a nicer car than her. So I'm out $250, more future headaches from Toothless, more cash, and probably a new car in the next month.

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ztejas

ztejas 44236

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Posted
5 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

But the worst part of it all was that Toothless drove up in a brand new Cadillac (RIP Joe Strummer) and my wife has been wanting a new car for awhile now. So that sent her over the edge that Toothless has a nicer car than her. So I'm out $250, more future headaches from Toothless, more cash, and probably a new car in the next month.

This is why pot should be legal.

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Longhornfan1024

Longhornfan1024 1707

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

So for those of you sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for an update on Toothless, the furniture re-upholstery guy who closed his shop in possession of a bunch of my wife's shit he was supposed to fix... after multiple phone calls to him that went straight to voice mail including a threat from me to call the police, my wife leaves one *last* message for him saying something to the effect of, "We've been friends a long time and I can't believe you would take my shit and not even return my phone call, don't make me call the cops, etc." The dude shockingly finally calls back.

Even more shockingly, last week he finishes up the chair my wife was obsessing the most about and delivers it. He's still got a bunch of her shit -- an old loveseat that folds out into a bed, a bunch of fabric, another chair and who knows what else. I'm not home when he brings the chair, but my wife decides it would be a good idea to write him a $250 check for the finished work and he "promises" to get the rest of the shit back to her. Me? I wouldn't have given the sumbitch a nickel until all of my shit was fixed and back in my possession, but what do I know about stuff like that?

But the worst part of it all was that Toothless drove up in a brand new Cadillac (RIP Joe Strummer) and my wife has been wanting a new car for awhile now. So that sent her over the edge that Toothless has a nicer car than her. So I'm out $250, more future headaches from Toothless, more cash, and probably a new car in the next month.

How does it feel to get cucked by a guy with no teeth?

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18118

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

So for those of you sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for an update on Toothless, the furniture re-upholstery guy who closed his shop in possession of a bunch of my wife's shit he was supposed to fix... after multiple phone calls to him that went straight to voice mail including a threat from me to call the police, my wife leaves one *last* message for him saying something to the effect of, "We've been friends a long time and I can't believe you would take my shit and not even return my phone call, don't make me call the cops, etc." The dude shockingly finally calls back.

Even more shockingly, last week he finishes up the chair my wife was obsessing the most about and delivers it. He's still got a bunch of her shit -- an old loveseat that folds out into a bed, a bunch of fabric, another chair and who knows what else. I'm not home when he brings the chair, but my wife decides it would be a good idea to write him a $250 check for the finished work and he "promises" to get the rest of the shit back to her. Me? I wouldn't have given the sumbitch a nickel until all of my shit was fixed and back in my possession, but what do I know about stuff like that?

But the worst part of it all was that Toothless drove up in a brand new Cadillac (RIP Joe Strummer) and my wife has been wanting a new car for awhile now. So that sent her over the edge that Toothless has a nicer car than her. So I'm out $250, more future headaches from Toothless, more cash, and probably a new car in the next month.

Mitch, your life should come with a laugh track.

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