Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[Upgrayedd 5,806]

It's like a serial killer list.

[mulletpelini 5,210]

likes to fuck alot

[AUS-97HORN 11,719]

if she wasnt standing in front of the stupid names, I would have assumed those are the names of the dogs coming to visit my local vets office.

[Trey3216 15,325]

1 minute ago, AUS-97HORN said:

if she wasnt standing in front of the stupid names, I would have assumed those are the names of the dogs coming to visit my local vets office.

She was having a Fantasy Father draft 

[TrashMaster G 17,400]

49 minutes ago, luke duke said:

I'll take Stupid Names Nobody Won't Make Fun Of for $500, Alex.

[SHOOTER12 8,791]

9 hours ago, babysdaddy said:

perfect, thanks son.

Older ladies with nothing to do are always looking at every situation with stink face.  And my wife hates my mom.  I know very few MIL/DIL relationships that work

Sometimes things go great. My mom loved my wife dearly and was so proud I had married a successful doctor. Only she isn't..... poor mom, dementia sucks. She did love Mrs. Shooter dearly though.

God Bless you mom....

[Brew 3,049]

1 hour ago, Upgrayedd said:

It's like a serial killer list.

Future stripper would be my guess.

[HenryJames 65,917]

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

Tryxie!

[SilasCoade 2,620]

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

Not a single one of those is a real fucking name. TFOH

Edited June 5, 2019 by Llogg

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,804]

Would

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,784]

Did

[luke duke 6,405]

if she wasnt standing in front of the stupid names, I would have assumed those are the names of the dogs coming to visit my local vets office.

 

 

 

[HenryJames 65,917]

Should have named the kid Chewbarka.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

11 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Sometimes things go great. My mom loved my wife dearly and was so proud I had married a successful doctor. Only she isn't..... poor mom, dementia sucks. She did love Mrs. Shooter dearly though.

God Bless you mom....

Going thru the same thing with my Mom, bro. Fuck dementia so fucking hard.

[Sandman 3,403]

19 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Sometimes things go great. My mom loved my wife dearly and was so proud I had married a successful doctor. Only she isn't..... poor mom, dementia sucks. She did love Mrs. Shooter dearly though.

God Bless you mom....

So you married a shitty doctor? That's still pretty cool.

[mulletpelini 5,210]

Just gotta have patience.

[Anastasis 23,403]

On 6/4/2019 at 7:07 PM, luke duke said:

I would put up with her shit for a while. 

[lateshow 1,304]

Lakynn? Tha fuck kinda name is that?

Edited June 6, 2019 by lateshow

[luke duke 6,405]

Lakynn? Tha fuck kinda name is that?

As someone in the comments stated, everyone from Utah is a blond, white, Mormon with a degree from BYU. So in order to distinguish themselves they give their kids dumb names that are derived by taking a syllable from 3 normal names and mashing them together.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

48 minutes ago, lateshow said:

Lakynn? Tha fuck kinda name is that?

Obviously the mom is lakynn a few brain cells.

[thunderlounge 7,774]

1 hour ago, lateshow said:

Lakynn? Tha fuck kinda name is that?

 

New-age hippie stripper name. Kid ain’t even got a chance.

[Reagan1k 3,017]

These people are all just playing the long-game to fuck with Starbucks baristas.

[Reagan1k 3,017]

dp

Edited June 6, 2019 by Reagan1k
dp

[HenryJames 65,917]

1 hour ago, thunderlounge said:

 

New-age hyppie strypper name. Kyd ain’t even got a chance.

fify

[General Specific 3,235]

 
New-age hippie stripper name. Kid ain’t even got a chance.

Hey now, our sons and grandsons need to experience girls with daddy issues to!

[Trey3216 15,325]

1 hour ago, Reagan1k said:

dp

[gyroprotagonist 2,591]

5 hours ago, lateshow said:

Lakynn? Tha fuck kinda name is that?

yeah, how is that pronounced?  Lay'-kin, Luh-kin', El'-uh-kin?  This important issue has been driving me crazy.

[Kennythetiger 9,351]

4 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

These people are all just playing the long-game to fuck with Starbucks baristas.

I'm just "Bob" when I order coffee.  Figure it makes their job easier.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

12 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

I'm just "Bob" when I order coffee.  Figure it makes their job easier.

Boob!!! I have a grande half caf no whip iced mocha for BOOB?!

[Modessit 5,597]

I'm just "Bob" when I order coffee.  Figure it makes their job easier.

Battery Operated Boyfriend? It might make your mom's job easier.

[thunderlounge 7,774]

1 hour ago, Modessit said:

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

I'm just "Bob" when I order coffee.  Figure it makes their job easier.

Battery Operated Boyfriend? It might make your mom's job easier.

 

[DigglerontheHoof 21,088]

10 hours ago, lateshow said:

Lakynn? Tha fuck kinda name is that?

A stupid one, just like the rest of them.

[luke duke 6,405]

Wife and kids were at the hotel pool

[General Specific 3,235]

Wife and kids were at the hotel pool

Well, did the pool guy pull out or what?

[cactusflinthead 27,595]

On 6/5/2019 at 6:10 AM, luke duke said:

 

 

 

 

I wandered into Utah for longer than I expected. Those Mormon girls are kinda funny. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,804]

Wife and kids were at the hotel pool

Your own pizza, peace and quiet, beer, tv to yourself for 2.5 hours. Congrats!

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,784]

Puliing out when it arrives is probably how y’all ended up with kids

[luke duke 6,405]

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

2 hours ago, luke duke said:

Wife and kids were at the hotel pool

Your own pizza, peace and quiet, beer, tv to yourself for 2.5 hours. Congrats!

Why do you think it took me that long to follow up?

[ChickenSandwich 9,803]

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,726]

Lakynn? Tha fuck kinda name is that?

Know of a couple in WF that spelled it Laiken.

[NWBuck 8,548]

9 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Know of a couple in WF that spelled it Laiken.

Takes a Laiken and keeps on tiaken?

[Dennis Taylor 18,731]

15 hours ago, luke duke said:

Why do you think it took me that long to follow up?

my guess is phone died from too much facebook/pinterest and she was completely cut off from the rest of civizilation 

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

43 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

my guess is phone died from too much facebook/pinterest and she was completely cut off from the rest of civizilation 

Watch she out for a walk in Hawaii? Do we need to send a rescue crew?

[Longboard Horn 40,189]

21 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

Hey, it's me! 

[tbone_ 14,035]

If I’m here, and you’re here, isn’t this our time?

[BearSchlong 8,079]

Wife was vacay planning while I was trying to watch episode 5 of Chernobyl.

Did you guys know that Nova Scotia is a sovereign country?

[HenryJames 65,917]

14 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

my guess is phone died from too much facebook/pinterest and she was completely cut off from the rest of civizilation 

And couldn’t remember the room number.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

"Did you know that the zip code in Beverly Hills really is 90210?"

 

I swear to God, she's not usually that dense. She graduated from The By God University of Texas, after all.

[Sandman 3,403]

Driving through some rural area today, my wife was taking pics to send to her friend in NYC who loves that shit. She snaps a nice pic, you could see for miles. She said, with awe in her voice, "This looks like a PHOTOGRAPH!", I told her that it was and she took it herself. Got tone at first but she lightened up quick. Said she meant to say postcard. I just laughed.

[BradInATX 9,208]

Wife never ever locks the front door. I've been leaning on her about it for awhile because we have a baby and I'm protective etc. She told me the other day that she was going to really take it seriously because she loves our kid.

 

Been locked in the back yard going on 3 hours now. Good thing I have a pool and now 3 lone stars left. Not answering the phone, but I'm not trying that hard to get in