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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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ernest_t_bass

ernest_t_bass 1196

Posted
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3 hours ago, Sandman said:

Driving through some rural area today, my wife was taking pics to send to her friend in NYC who loves that shit. She snaps a nice pic, you could see for miles. She said, with awe in her voice, "This looks like a PHOTOGRAPH!", I told her that it was and she took it herself. Got tone at first but she lightened up quick. Said she meant to say postcard. I just laughed.

tenor.gif?itemid=11039123

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4968

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, BradInATX said:

Wife never ever locks the front door. I've been leaning on her about it for awhile because we have a baby and I'm protective etc. She told me the other day that she was going to really take it seriously because she loves our kid.

 

Been locked in the back yard going on 3 hours now. Good thing I have a pool and now 3 lone stars left. Not answering the phone, but I'm not trying that hard to get in

 

 

This is why a porch fridge is a necessity. 

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Mach 1

Mach 1 1677

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A little update on the "disposable cup cover for music festivals."

Welp, our bank account is soon to be $2500 lighter. My wife and her partner are paying some industrial designer $5k to come up with a prototype.  Money doesn't bug me, since she makes good coin, but I kind of think this is becoming more about proving me wrong than anything else.

I must have given her my dubious face when she told me, because she said "Don't worry, we'll still own the IP."

Now there were a few ways to respond to this.  I could have (1) laughed and said "I'm not worried at all," or (2) "You know the IP for something know one wants isn't going to be worth much."   However I've been a husband for over ten years, and have self inflicted wounds to prove it.  So I said neither.  Instead I said "Sounds good to me."

Well, I guess the next stop is prototype.  I'll have to ask everyone for an NDA before I post it, so none of you assholes steal the IP,  but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11567

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

A little update on the "disposable cup cover for music festivals."

Welp, our bank account is soon to be $2500 lighter. My wife and her partner are paying some industrial designer $5k to come up with a prototype.  Money doesn't bug me, since she makes good coin, but I kind of think this is becoming more about proving me wrong than anything else.

I must have given her my dubious face when she told me, because she said "Don't worry, we'll still own the IP."

Now there were a few ways to respond to this.  I could have (1) laughed and said "I'm not worried at all," or (2) "You know the IP for something know one wants isn't going to be worth much."   However I've been a husband for over ten years, and have self inflicted wounds to prove it.  So I said neither.  Instead I said "Sounds good to me."

Well, I guess the next stop is prototype.  I'll have to ask everyone for an NDA before I post it, so none of you assholes steal the IP,  but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I have at times pushed my wife to take a more "proactive" approach to her career and/or business opportunities.

 

Thank you for the warning.  Watch what I wish for.

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Pig Bellmont

Pig Bellmont 8695

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

A little update on the "disposable cup cover for music festivals."

Welp, our bank account is soon to be $2500 lighter. My wife and her partner are paying some industrial designer $5k to come up with a prototype.  Money doesn't bug me, since she makes good coin, but I kind of think this is becoming more about proving me wrong than anything else.

I must have given her my dubious face when she told me, because she said "Don't worry, we'll still own the IP."

Now there were a few ways to respond to this.  I could have (1) laughed and said "I'm not worried at all," or (2) "You know the IP for something know one wants isn't going to be worth much."   However I've been a husband for over ten years, and have self inflicted wounds to prove it.  So I said neither.  Instead I said "Sounds good to me."

Well, I guess the next stop is prototype.  I'll have to ask everyone for an NDA before I post it, so none of you assholes steal the IP,  but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

infinity war yes GIF 

$5k for a prototype! Of a cup lid. I’m in the wrong business.

In for the patent application update 

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gyroprotagonist

gyroprotagonist 2591

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Mach 1 said:

A little update on the "disposable cup cover for music festivals."

Welp, our bank account is soon to be $2500 lighter. My wife and her partner are paying some industrial designer $5k to come up with a prototype.  Money doesn't bug me, since she makes good coin, but I kind of think this is becoming more about proving me wrong than anything else.

I must have given her my dubious face when she told me, because she said "Don't worry, we'll still own the IP."

Now there were a few ways to respond to this.  I could have (1) laughed and said "I'm not worried at all," or (2) "You know the IP for something know one wants isn't going to be worth much."   However I've been a husband for over ten years, and have self inflicted wounds to prove it.  So I said neither.  Instead I said "Sounds good to me."

Well, I guess the next stop is prototype.  I'll have to ask everyone for an NDA before I post it, so none of you assholes steal the IP,  but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

So was it ever discerned what is different/better than the thing you found on Amazon?  I (like you) would have thought that would be the end of it with a "oh wells, it's already invented" instead of challenge accepted.  Or she and friend are banging the IP attorney and industrial designer.

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Mach 1

Mach 1 1677

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Posted
2 hours ago, gyroprotagonist said:

So was it ever discerned what is different/better than the thing you found on Amazon?  I (like you) would have thought that would be the end of it with a "oh wells, it's already invented" instead of challenge accepted.  Or she and friend are banging the IP attorney and industrial designer.

The easy answer is to re: thread title.  But in reality her spin is that these will be disposable and stick to the sides of the cup with some kind of adhesive differentiates it from the one I got on Amazon.  Who fucking knows.  But the further this goes the more I'm thinking it's a stubborn reaction from me dismissing the idea from the outset.  Oh well, at least there's a few laughs in it.

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SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2620

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Posted
1 hour ago, Mach 1 said:

The easy answer is to re: thread title.  But in reality her spin is that these will be disposable and stick to the sides of the cup with some kind of adhesive differentiates it from the one I got on Amazon.  Who fucking knows.  But the further this goes the more I'm thinking it's a stubborn reaction from me dismissing the idea from the outset.  Oh well, at least there's a few laughs in it.

That's an expensive few laughs. Even if she's making enough to cover the cost a couple grand is still significant money to completely throw away.

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GSU&UT

GSU&UT 1798

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Posted

Rhetorical question as I'm sure 99% of you would answer yes but:
 

Are any of your wives kind of hypochondriacs? My wife every few months complains about her tonsils and I think it's because she's constantly poking at it with her tongue and irritates it, just can't stop obsessing. I just used a flashlight and didn't see a tonsil stone, canker sore, or anything obvious but of course she doesn't believe me.

"Hey let me keep telling you about this thing annoying me. Ohh you don't see anything? Well that must obviously not be true" 

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11810

Posted
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35 minutes ago, GSU&UT said:

Rhetorical question as I'm sure 99% of you would answer yes but:
 

Are any of your wives kind of hypochondriacs? My wife every few months complains about her tonsils and I think it's because she's constantly poking at it with her tongue and irritates it, just can't stop obsessing. I just used a flashlight and didn't see a tonsil stone, canker sore, or anything obvious but of course she doesn't believe me.

"Hey let me keep telling you about this thing annoying me. Ohh you don't see anything? Well that must obviously not be true" 

Sorry man, I try to take it easy but she insists.  

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drifter379

drifter379 1106

Posted
Posted
Rhetorical question as I'm sure 99% of you would answer yes but:
 
Are any of your wives kind of hypochondriacs? My wife every few months complains about her tonsils and I think it's because she's constantly poking at it with her tongue and irritates it, just can't stop obsessing. I just used a flashlight and didn't see a tonsil stone, canker sore, or anything obvious but of course she doesn't believe me.
"Hey let me keep telling you about this thing annoying me. Ohh you don't see anything? Well that must obviously not be true" 

Let a friend look at it and tell her the same thing and it will be fine.
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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5210

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, GSU&UT said:

Rhetorical question as I'm sure 99% of you would answer yes but:
 

Are any of your wives kind of hypochondriacs? My wife every few months complains about her tonsils and I think it's because she's constantly poking at it with her tongue and irritates it, just can't stop obsessing. I just used a flashlight and didn't see a tonsil stone, canker sore, or anything obvious but of course she doesn't believe me.

"Hey let me keep telling you about this thing annoying me. Ohh you don't see anything? Well that must obviously not be true" 

ex-wife was.  selfish cunt.  When she was sick, all the world bowed to her.  You get sick?  Go fuck yourself, you don't have time to be sick.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18731

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11 hours ago, Mach 1 said:

The easy answer is to re: thread title.  But in reality her spin is that these will be disposable and stick to the sides of the cup with some kind of adhesive differentiates it from the one I got on Amazon.  Who fucking knows.  But the further this goes the more I'm thinking it's a stubborn reaction from me dismissing the idea from the outset.  Oh well, at least there's a few laughs in it.

I'm really looking forward to seeing it on Shark Tank...any update on that?

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54027

Posted
Posted
On 6/8/2019 at 5:11 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

"Did you know that the zip code in Beverly Hills really is 90210?"

 

I swear to God, she's not usually that dense. She graduated from The By God University of Texas, after all.

Yeah, so did my wife, summa cum laude.

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GSU&UT

GSU&UT 1798

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

Your wife can get the tip of her tongue back to her tonsils? Keep that one around.

Oh boy, if only that translated to anything positive for me. Also, I really don't know if she can but I've dropped arguing that she probably can't a long time ago.

Edited by GSU&UT
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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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Posted
7 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

Not sure, I'll ask her.  That's a good question to show that I'm interested and engaged in her inventions.

You might ought to consider doing some tinkering on your own and come up with a device that will penetrate her lid to deliver the roofie. Would be great if it were something ubiquitous.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28725

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Posted
On June 10, 2019 at 7:04 PM, Mach 1 said:

The easy answer is to re: thread title.  But in reality her spin is that these will be disposable and stick to the sides of the cup with some kind of adhesive differentiates it from the one I got on Amazon.  Who fucking knows.  But the further this goes the more I'm thinking it's a stubborn reaction from me dismissing the idea from the outset.  Oh well, at least there's a few laughs in it.

Is she planning to make them out of plastic? Because inventing a single-use disposable plastic product seems about as smart as investing in print media. 

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