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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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drifter379

drifter379 1116

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Posted

HOUSTON (AP) -- Authorities say a 26-year-old Houston woman who was driving an SUV toward her children in an apparent game of "chicken" struck and killed her 3-year-old son.

Harris County prosecutors said Friday that Lexus Stagg is charged with criminally negligent homicide in the June 11 death of her son.

They say surveillance video from an apartment complex shows Stagg getting into a Lincoln Navigator, then backing up. As her three young children began running after her, she drove the SUV forward. Two children moved out of the way, but the 3-year-old was caught under a tire.


Survival of the fittest. Real time natural selection at work.
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McCroskey
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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10096

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1 hour ago, Steel Shank said:

HOUSTON (AP) -- Authorities say a 26-year-old Houston woman who was driving an SUV toward her children in an apparent game of "chicken" struck and killed her 3-year-old son.

Harris County prosecutors said Friday that Lexus Stagg is charged with criminally negligent homicide in the June 11 death of her son.

They say surveillance video from an apartment complex shows Stagg getting into a Lincoln Navigator, then backing up. As her three young children began running after her, she drove the SUV forward. Two children moved out of the way, but the 3-year-old was caught under a tire.

Sometimes kids have to learn the hard way. I'm sure she was constantly harping about the dangers of cars, lil muthafuckas wouldn't listen...well now they know.

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18913

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Wife's office is in an office park and each unit has two small offices, a small reception area and bathroom. Her office roommate is always eating something or cooking something in the microwave that smells up the place and it drives her crazy. To do her part, she is very conscientious about not leaving food out, even in the garbage can. Every day on her way in she stops off to get an iced tea and to eliminate the lemon from her tea smelling up the office, she has been dumping the tea and flushing the lemon down the toilet. Every day for like 5 years. So the other day, the person at Starbucks or wherever she got her tea from dropped like 4-5 lemons in her drink. She thinks nothing about dumping it down and can you imagine that the toilet broke? I mean, who could have seen that one coming?

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Pig Bellmont

Pig Bellmont 8867

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17 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Wife's office is in an office park and each unit has two small offices, a small reception area and bathroom. Her office roommate is always eating something or cooking something in the microwave that smells up the place and it drives her crazy. To do her part, she is very conscientious about not leaving food out, even in the garbage can. Every day on her way in she stops off to get an iced tea and to eliminate the lemon from her tea smelling up the office, she has been dumping the tea and flushing the lemon down the toilet. Every day for like 5 years. So the other day, the person at Starbucks or wherever she got her tea from dropped like 4-5 lemons in her drink. She thinks nothing about dumping it down and can you imagine that the toilet broke? I mean, who could have seen that one coming?

Oh my. I know you explained your wife’s thought process, but flushing the lemons does not make any sense. Holy shit

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gyroprotagonist

gyroprotagonist 2597

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Wife's office is in an office park and each unit has two small offices, a small reception area and bathroom. Her office roommate is always eating something or cooking something in the microwave that smells up the place and it drives her crazy. To do her part, she is very conscientious about not leaving food out, even in the garbage can. Every day on her way in she stops off to get an iced tea and to eliminate the lemon from her tea smelling up the office, she has been dumping the tea and flushing the lemon down the toilet. Every day for like 5 years. So the other day, the person at Starbucks or wherever she got her tea from dropped like 4-5 lemons in her drink. She thinks nothing about dumping it down and can you imagine that the toilet broke? I mean, who could have seen that one coming?

lemons smell good and are used to make other less good smelling things smell better.  lemon fresh pledge, using lemon rinds in the garbage disposal etc...  She should leave them in her office mate's chair every single day. 

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BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1828

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41 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I think if neither chickens out, winner is determined via battle damage.  So 3-0 and not particularly close. 

No way. Has to be the opposite. It does not take courage to run over a toddler with a SUV. But to sit there and take the L instead of "chickening out"? That's the stuff right there.

Quien es mas macho? La SUV es muy macho, PERO........bebe is mas macho!

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Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5861

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Gf:  By the way, the front door was wide open all night.  

M:  Well shit.  Didn’t notice that.  We air conditioned the neighborhood?

Gf:  The door was closed, just not locked.

M: So not “wide open”, just unlocked.

Gf:  Yes.  Like I said.  Wide open.

M:  So what’s your term for when the door is, let’s say, actually open?  Wider open, widest open, or not closed wide open?

Gf: Tone

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Js1

Js1 86953

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Gf:  By the way, the front door was wide open all night.  

M:  Well shit.  Didn’t notice that.  We air conditioned the neighborhood?

Gf:  The door was closed, just not locked.

M: So not “wide open”, just unlocked.

Gf:  Yes.  Like I said.  Wide open.

M:  So what’s your term for when the door is, let’s say, actually open?  Wider open, widest open, or not closed wide open?

Gf: Tone

So her legs are constantly "wide open?" 

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Asithappens

Asithappens 978

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Gf:  By the way, the front door was wide open all night.  

M:  Well shit.  Didn’t notice that.  We air conditioned the neighborhood?

Gf:  The door was closed, just not locked.

M: So not “wide open”, just unlocked.

Gf:  Yes.  Like I said.  Wide open.

M:  So what’s your term for when the door is, let’s say, actually open?  Wider open, widest open, or not closed wide open?

Gf: Tone

She's your gf, not your wife.

What you do with her powers of observation are up to you. 

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Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5861

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Js1 said:

So her legs are constantly "wide open?" 

For me?  Sure.  As long as it’s not “too late” or “too hot” or “too cold” something like that.

1 hour ago, Asithappens said:

She's your gf, not your wife.

What you do with her powers of observation are up to you. 

13 year live-in gf.  See above.

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BearCountry11

BearCountry11 1234

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Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

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3 minutes ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

Did she do the radio thing as a joke? If it wasn’t, she may be the biggest narcissist in your city. Either that or she treats you like a choad. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28904

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36 minutes ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

Nice humblebrag. Your wife knows how to program the pre-sets on the car radio. 

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15450

Posted
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1 hour ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

She’s telling you she wants a new car 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18036

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2 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

Your wife MAY be a bitch.

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Modessit

Modessit 5665

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Posted

TL:dr version - I was right.

 

Long version:

 

My car broke down. I had the night off yesterday and was going to go pick up the parts so I could fix it this afternoon during my afternoon break. My wife threw a fit about going to a family event at the library last night and out to eat after. I told her that if we did that, then I'd have to pick up the parts tonight after work if the parts store was still open by the time I got off.

 

She had told me that she needed to go up to her school after the kids' swim lessons tomorrow. It looked like I wouldn't get off until after 10 tonight so I called to tell her I probably wouldn't get off in time to get my parts and ask what time she was planning on going up to school. I told her I'd probably take them to the swim lessons (10 mins) and then go get the parts, then come back to get them and they could drop me off at the house (10 mins) and then they could go to school (20 mins). She immediately started arguing with me about how come I wasn't buying the parts tonight. I had to repeat both sides of the conversation from last night and tonight three times before she realized we had already talked about it. Then she argued about why they had to take me home and why I couldn't take them to school and leave them there before coming home to work on the car (I have the morning off). I explained multiple times that driving her 10 mins to school, then driving 20 mins home, then 20 mins back to get them, then 20 mins back home wasn't sensible. After a bunch of arguing she still didn't understand why I had to drive them home before going to work. I had to explain that both cars would be home with me. Plus if the repairs take longer than I expect she'd have to wait until I was done to pick them up.

 

So - finally - she understands.

 

Me: So? Say it. I was right.

 

Her: No, you weren't. There were two options.

 

Me: One option was the better choice. And that was mine.

 

Her: That doesn't make you right.

 

Me: Which of the two options did you finally decide on?

 

Her: Yours. But that doesn't mean it was right. It just made more sense.

 

 

 

 

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NWBuck

NWBuck 8621

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Posted
22 minutes ago, Modessit said:

TL:dr version - I was right.

 

Long version:

 

My car broke down. I had the night off yesterday and was going to go pick up the parts so I could fix it this afternoon during my afternoon break. My wife threw a fit about going to a family event at the library last night and out to eat after. I told her that if we did that, then I'd have to pick up the parts tonight after work if the parts store was still open by the time I got off.

 

She had told me that she needed to go up to her school after the kids' swim lessons tomorrow. It looked like I wouldn't get off until after 10 tonight so I called to tell her I probably wouldn't get off in time to get my parts and ask what time she was planning on going up to school. I told her I'd probably take them to the swim lessons (10 mins) and then go get the parts, then come back to get them and they could drop me off at the house (10 mins) and then they could go to school (20 mins). She immediately started arguing with me about how come I wasn't buying the parts tonight. I had to repeat both sides of the conversation from last night and tonight three times before she realized we had already talked about it. Then she argued about why they had to take me home and why I couldn't take them to school and leave them there before coming home to work on the car (I have the morning off). I explained multiple times that driving her 10 mins to school, then driving 20 mins home, then 20 mins back to get them, then 20 mins back home wasn't sensible. After a bunch of arguing she still didn't understand why I had to drive them home before going to work. I had to explain that both cars would be home with me. Plus if the repairs take longer than I expect she'd have to wait until I was done to pick them up.

 

So - finally - she understands.

 

Me: So? Say it. I was right.

 

Her: No, you weren't. There were two options.

 

Me: One option was the better choice. And that was mine.

 

Her: That doesn't make you right.

 

Me: Which of the two options did you finally decide on?

 

Her: Yours. But that doesn't mean it was right. It just made more sense.

 

 

 

 

I think I know the decision you made that was wrong 

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9585

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Friend of mine called me a couple of days ago.  His wife took her car to the dealership for some service work.  She had errands to run and the loaner vehicle was already being used, so the service dude gave her a new car off of the lot to use until hers was done.  Yep, she bought the car.  

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8964

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Posted
Friend of mine called me a couple of days ago.  His wife took her car to the dealership for some service work.  She had errands to run and the loaner vehicle was already being used, so the service dude gave her a new car off of the lot to use until hers was done.  Yep, she bought the car.  
She sounds hot
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Trey3216

Trey3216 15450

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Posted
40 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Friend of mine called me a couple of days ago.  His wife took her car to the dealership for some service work.  She had errands to run and the loaner vehicle was already being used, so the service dude gave her a new car off of the lot to use until hers was done.  Yep, she bought the car.  

It would've been reported stolen and found in the river if my wife did that shit

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