Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

Doze

Doze 1322

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, blacklab said:

wife: i can't stand some of my friends, all they want to do is talk shit about other people

me: uh huh

wife then spends the next 20 minutes talking shit about other people

 

Have you pointed out the obvious fact that they talk shit on her too?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
52-80

52-80 19123

Posted
Posted
On 6/30/2019 at 8:27 AM, NorthLoop said:

The best part is when they're talking shit about one for doing something that they themselves do... and you reallly wanna say "yeah but you do that too" ... but then you remember this thread. 

ohhhh man.  but mine actually had a moment of actualization yesterday.

 

last week she told me how about this work guy was lamenting that his wife never gets out of the house - that he's moved here for 1 year and barely been able to explore the place.

this weekend i hung out with him and he repeated to me the exact same stories. 

 

at home i told her "yeah i pity xxx, hes telling me such and such about his wife for being a homebody"

"you think the same way about me dont you?"

"no comment".

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 6/30/2019 at 1:14 AM, blacklab said:

wife: i can't stand some of my friends, all they want to do is talk shit about other people

me: uh huh

wife then spends the next 20 minutes talking shit about other people

 

My wife does this except it's with her own damn friends.

Worse yet the "I can't believe so and so takes things so personal"

Then spends 20 minutes on why she doesn't let that type of thing bother her........

Edited by JimmyHoffa
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18731

Posted
Posted

Watching a fireworks display the other night:

W- that plane over there stopped. It's probably because of the fireworks 

D- ???

W- Right there,  see the green lights...it was moving,  and now it stopped

D- it's a drone

W- ???

D- planes don't 'stop' 

W- tone

(Last year she showed me the video they posted from a drone of the fireworks)

  • Like 4
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Buzzrock

Buzzrock 14881

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

Got up early to throw some beef ribs on, and then ran to the store for coffee and stuff for later today. I walk back in the house with bags of groceries on each arm and she’s sitting in the kitchen:

“You went to the grocery store?”

“Yes...”

“Was it open?”

  • Like 10
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17401

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

Got up early to throw some beef ribs on, and then ran to the store for coffee and stuff for later today. I walk back in the house with bags of groceries on each arm and she’s sitting in the kitchen:

“You went to the grocery store?”

“Yes...”

“Was it open?”

How big are her tits?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
drifter379

drifter379 1106

Posted
Posted
Got up early to throw some beef ribs on, and then ran to the store for coffee and stuff for later today. I walk back in the house with bags of groceries on each arm and she’s sitting in the kitchen:

“You went to the grocery store?”

“Yes...”

“Was it open?”

That’s a legit question from an obvious shag/surly member.
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5806

Posted
Posted

Watching Apollo 11 with the UGa educated Gf and I mentioned the subsequent missions . . . 

Gf: “Wait, we went there again?  I thought it was only that one time.”

Me:  “SEC. SEC. SEC”

 

Now, not only is this colossally stupid, but we have had this exact same conversation before.  I even think I posted such on TOS.

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Modessit

Modessit 5597

Posted
Posted
Watching Apollo 11 with the UGa educated Gf and I mentioned the subsequent missions . . . 
Gf: “Wait, we went there again?  I thought it was only that one time.”
Me:  “SEC. SEC. SEC”
 
Now, not only is this colossally stupid, but we have had this exact same conversation before.  I even think I posted such on TOS.
 
This would have been funnier if y'all had watched Apollo 13 within the past month.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

Posted
Posted

My wife found FB Market place and whatever the nextdoor app is. FML. Random shit has started showing up in my house. Like picture of a Giraffe in my recliner right now....

 

So I get in my SUV for the first time in a couple of weeks (I've been driving a work vehicle.) I get in today, and there's a fucking dresser in the back.  WTF?

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8399

Posted
Posted
42 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My wife found FB Market place and whatever the nextdoor app is. FML. Random shit has started showing up in my house. Like picture of a Giraffe in my recliner right now....

 

So I get in my SUV for the first time in a couple of weeks (I've been driving a work vehicle.) I get in today, and there's a fucking dresser in the back.  WTF?

 

I've never seen a picture of a giraffe in a chair.  Please share!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52375

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Modessit said:
8 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:
Watching Apollo 11 with the UGa educated Gf and I mentioned the subsequent missions . . . 
Gf: “Wait, we went there again?  I thought it was only that one time.”
Me:  “SEC. SEC. SEC”
 
Now, not only is this colossally stupid, but we have had this exact same conversation before.  I even think I posted such on TOS.
 

Read more  

This would have been funnier if y'all had watched Apollo 13 within the past month.

13 didn’t get to the moon smartass 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9352

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My wife found FB Market place and whatever the nextdoor app is. FML. Random shit has started showing up in my house. Like picture of a Giraffe in my recliner right now....

 

So I get in my SUV for the first time in a couple of weeks (I've been driving a work vehicle.) I get in today, and there's a fucking dresser in the back.  WTF?

 

That’s a lot of acronyms. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
elfenix

elfenix 34201

Posted
Posted



My wife found FB Market place and whatever the nextdoor app is. FML. Random shit has started showing up in my house. Like picture of a Giraffe in my recliner right now....
 
So I get in my SUV for the first time in a couple of weeks (I've been driving a work vehicle.) I get in today, and there's a fucking dresser in the back.  WTF?
 


I assume you didn't need a metal detector to find any of this stuff
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52375

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
20 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My wife found FB Market place and whatever the nextdoor app is. FML. Random shit has started showing up in my house. Like picture of a Giraffe in my recliner right now....

 

So I get in my SUV for the first time in a couple of weeks (I've been driving a work vehicle.) I get in today, and there's a fucking dresser in the back.  WTF?

 

I look forward to the day that you eventually post about selling this crap, followed by a post by Mitch that it’s all at his house now. 

  • Like 8
  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sandman

Sandman 3403

Posted
Posted

Wife comes out of the bedroom while brushing her teeth, proceeds to ask me a question with the toothbrush still in her mouth. "Gtrhu urth qwith thaiu?". After I said "What?", she rolled her eyes, as if I'm supposed to understand whatever the fuck she was trying to say. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5806

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Wife comes out of the bedroom while brushing her teeth, proceeds to ask me a question with the toothbrush still in her mouth. "Gtrhu urth qwith thaiu?". After I said "What?", she rolled her eyes, as if I'm supposed to understand whatever the fuck she was trying to say. 

Gf does this.  My reply is always "You want anal?  SureI"

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HornOnTheBayou

HornOnTheBayou 8881

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Sandman said:

Wife comes out of the bedroom while brushing her teeth, proceeds to ask me a question with the toothbrush still in her mouth. "Gtrhu urth qwith thaiu?". After I said "What?", she rolled her eyes, as if I'm supposed to understand whatever the fuck she was trying to say. 

Sorry, man. I've tried to tell her that when she has something long and hard swirling in her mouth, she needs to keep quiet. Unfortunately, she hasn't learned. Yet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ernest_t_bass

ernest_t_bass 1196

Posted
Posted

Last two days I've spent 8+ hours outside doing shit.  Lawn, trim, weeding, tractor stuff, changing oil, etc.  Have also done my fair share of inside chores.  Dishes, laundry (shut up), bed, swept, etc.

Today I come inside and see a towel sitting on the living room carpet.

M - "What's this?"

W - "Oh, I spilled my drink."

M - "Was it just water?"

W - "No, it was Pepsi."

M - "Did you put any carpet stuff on it?"

W - "no."

M - goes and gets carpet stuff, lays it on dining room chair where she and daughter were sitting.  Carry on.

FFW a couple hours. I've been relaxing for some time because, well, I earned it.

M - "Did you happen to put any stuff on that?"

W - "No.  I mean, you could have done it! I'd love to just sit here and do nothing."

M - "Um..."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8671

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
10 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Last two days I've spent 8+ hours outside doing shit.  Lawn, trim, weeding, tractor stuff, changing oil, etc.  Have also done my fair share of inside chores.  Dishes, laundry (shut up), bed, swept, etc.

Today I come inside and see a towel sitting on the living room carpet.

M - "What's this?"

W - "Oh, I spilled my drink."

M - "Was it just water?"

W - "No, it was Pepsi."

M - "Did you put any carpet stuff on it?"

W - "no."

M - goes and gets carpet stuff, lays it on dining room chair where she and daughter were sitting.  Carry on.

FFW a couple hours. I've been relaxing for some time because, well, I earned it.

M - "Did you happen to put any stuff on that?"

W - "No.  I mean, you could have done it! I'd love to just sit here and do nothing."

M - "Um..."

Gotta rub her nose in it.  Only way to curb that behavior.

  • Like 17
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...