Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[mulletpelini 5209]

3 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

My FIL likes to come mow the grass at my farm every weekend. We don’t ask him to do it, he just thinks it’s fun. Mrs CL’s vegetable garden is a joint venture with her and they like working together. 
 

Mrs CL called me just now to complain that I had purchased “shitty gas” that wasn’t working in the push mower and FIL had left to go buy “good gas”. 
 

“What are you taking about? I used it all up. I didn’t have any full cans. What shitty gas?”

 

”In the white metal thing next to the tractor”. 
 

They put diesel in the lawnmower from my transfer tank.

Nothing worse than some Diesel in your wifes tank

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

Vin?

[elfenix 34168]

Shane.

 

 

[tbone_ 14020]

I mean diesel is shitty gas

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

39 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

I mean diesel is shitty gas

If you put it that way, I guess I'll delete and go crosspost in "Wives and the inadvertently true things they say/do."

[Kennythetiger 9333]

Beats the hell out of gasoline in your tractor. That’s a show-stopper. 

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Beats the hell out of gasoline in your tractor. That’s a show-stopper. 

Agreed, but what's worrisome is that she said later the reason that they thought the transfer tank contained gas was that she thought it was a gasoline tractor for some reason. It could have easily been worse had she ever decided she was entitled to drive the tractor someday. Luckily she has said more than once that she's too scared to try that. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

Anyone who is married should have locking gas caps on everything they own

[Armybrat 40678]

My wife has never filled a gas tank of any kind in the 52 years we’ve been married.

I have filled her tank regularly during all those decades.

[Modessit 5595]

My wife has never filled a gas tank of any kind in the 52 years we’ve been married.
I have filled her tank regularly during all those decades.

Dad?

My mom likes to say she had it put in the vows that she never has to pump gas. If it gets below half a tank, my dad goes and fills it up.

[HenryJames 65868]

4 hours ago, Armybrat said:

I have filled her tank regularly during all those decades.

[Armybrat 40678]

Well, there is that too. After all, she is a graduate of SWT.

[mulletpelini 5209]

9 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Ha, the youth in asia

[Al_4_ISU 12408]

On 9/28/2019 at 12:04 PM, crimsonlonghorn said:

My FIL likes to come mow the grass at my farm every weekend. We don’t ask him to do it, he just thinks it’s fun. Mrs CL’s vegetable garden is a joint venture with her and they like working together. 
 

Mrs CL called me just now to complain that I had purchased “shitty gas” that wasn’t working in the push mower and FIL had left to go buy “good gas”. 
 

“What are you taking about? I used it all up. I didn’t have any full cans. What shitty gas?”

 

”In the white metal thing next to the tractor”. 
 

They put diesel in the lawnmower from my transfer tank.

That's a kick in the nads.

But on the subject of "shitty gas", my FIL is convinced that gas from a particular local chain is inferior, ruins your engine, and causes engine lights to turn on.  He absolutely will not get gas there, and will lecture anyone when they pull into that place.  My wife, for awhile, always listened to his advice until I started filling her vehicle at said chain on a constant basis to prove it otherwise.

It's weird, because my FIL is generally a very good mechanic, he just has this one particular insane belief that he can't be convinced otherwise of.

[DaysOff 7821]

Murphy USA looks sketchy and I've always been scared of putting their gas in a tank.

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

Just now, DaysOff said:

Murphy USA looks sketchy and I've always been scared of putting their gas in a tank.

I do a lot of work with gasoline retailers and I can say Murphy is safe and is fine. That's a major brand with over 1,000 locations. 

The ones you need to worry about are the local one--off stations with no obvious affiliation with a brand name. Those guys will buy the cheapest shit they can from their favorite jobber. There are no safeguards there at all. 

 

[BHMCruiser 1812]

22 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Agreed, but what's worrisome is that she said later the reason that they thought the transfer tank contained gas was that she thought it was a gasoline tractor for some reason. It could have easily been worse had she ever decided she was entitled to drive the tractor someday. Luckily she has said more than once that she's too scared to try that. 

Sounds like you need to hide the tractor keys

[G650 13989]

Who the fuck has enough time to fill up their wife's car with gas every time it gets low?

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

43 minutes ago, G650 said:

Who the fuck has enough time to fill up their wife's car with gas every time it gets low?

Someone who's been retired for over 150 years.

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

Since I work from home, my wife's commute is infinitely longer than mine and her car consumes a lot more gasoline more often than does mine. She might fill up 2-3x a week and, frankly, I don't exactly when or where she fills up. 

All that being said, when I do have the time to do it for her on the weekend - especially Sunday evenings without asking - it's a very easy way to make her happy and earn extra hubby points. 

[Kennythetiger 9333]

You lost me at hubby. 

[Buffsoldier 1895]

9 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Ha, the youth in asia

Your humor is killing me.

[Modessit 5595]

Since I work from home, my wife's commute is infinitely longer than mine and her car consumes a lot more gasoline more often than does mine. She might fill up 2-3x a week and, frankly, I don't exactly when or where she fills up. 
All that being said, when I do have the time to do it for her on the weekend - especially Sunday evenings without asking - it's a very easy way to make her happy and earn extra hubby points. 

My wife has the talent to use up all the gas in the car no matter how far she's driving. My car could have 3/4 of a tank and she could use it to run to the corner store a 1/2-mile away to get something, be gone 5 minutes, and when I get into the car later the gas light is on.

[Armybrat 40678]

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

You lost me at hubby. 

He gets blowjobs.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

1 hour ago, Modessit said:

4 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Since I work from home, my wife's commute is infinitely longer than mine and her car consumes a lot more gasoline more often than does mine. She might fill up 2-3x a week and, frankly, I don't exactly when or where she fills up. 
All that being said, when I do have the time to do it for her on the weekend - especially Sunday evenings without asking - it's a very easy way to make her happy and earn extra hubby points. 

My wife has the talent to use up all the gas in the car no matter how far she's driving. My car could have 3/4 of a tank and she could use it to run to the corner store a 1/2-mile away to get something, be gone 5 minutes, and when I get into the car later the gas light is on.

That's because of the P N D R 2 1 options, she always chooses "1", because she's only going to 1 place.

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

He gets blowjobs.

Morgan Freeman.gif

[Biff Tannen 45477]

1 minute ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Morgan Freeman.gif

titty sprinkles?

[Jameslaw121 4445]

Filling up her car is part of my Sunday morning routine. Do most of the yard work in the morning. Then take her car, fill it up, and stop at the bar down the street to watch NFL pregame. 

[Jameslaw121 4445]

6 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I do a lot of work with gasoline retailers and I can say Murphy is safe and is fine. That's a major brand with over 1,000 locations. 

The ones you need to worry about are the local one--off stations with no obvious affiliation with a brand name. Those guys will buy the cheapest shit they can from their favorite jobber. There are no safeguards there at all. 

 

The Valero in Carrollton near where I used to live. It's the opposite direction of work, so not my normal place. But twice I stopped and I swear both times I got gas with water in it. About a year apart.  I have a V8 and both times it started struggling to accelerate on the on ramp. and both times it started working correctly after cycled through that gas.

[Stormandy 2]

Fill her car every saturday, wash and vacumn if needed. I have not let my wife fill gas in the 35 years we have been married. Keeping the cars ready, lawn looking good, and keep the house in good repair, cuts down on the can you this for me.

[GotThatFire 166]

1 hour ago, Stormandy said:

 let my wife ... 

Lulz. Ok sure buddy. Y’all old schools are  t r a i n e d.  I bet you also instinctively put the seat down on toilets your wife never uses and then teach your sons that women are never wrong. 

[Sam Lin 3540]

15 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

But on the subject of "shitty gas", my FIL is convinced that gas from a particular local chain is inferior, ruins your engine, and causes engine lights to turn on.  He absolutely will not get gas there, and will lecture anyone when they pull into that place.  My wife, for awhile, always listened to his advice until I started filling her vehicle at said chain on a constant basis to prove it otherwise.

It's weird, because my FIL is generally a very good mechanic, he just has this one particular insane belief that he can't be convinced otherwise of.

When I lived in SC, there was one station where I would consistently get 15% or so worse mileage for the tank (hand calculated.) It was a national chain, but that doesn't rule out the individual operator being shady, or the storage tanks being totally contaminated. I would tell everyone to avoid that station.

Driving across the country years ago, I had to get gas in some random station in the midwest, due to poor planning and there being no other stations around. Engine clearly was not happy, knocked, down on power. I didn't fill much as the place looked utterly decrepit, so I limped it along to the next gas station and filled up with different gas, which diluted it enough to run decently.

Even in this modern age, there is definitely shitty gas out there.

[Al_4_ISU 12408]

5 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

When I lived in SC, there was one station where I would consistently get 15% or so worse mileage for the tank (hand calculated.) It was a national chain, but that doesn't rule out the individual operator being shady, or the storage tanks being totally contaminated. I would tell everyone to avoid that station.

Driving across the country years ago, I had to get gas in some random station in the midwest, due to poor planning and there being no other stations around. Engine clearly was not happy, knocked, down on power. I didn't fill much as the place looked utterly decrepit, so I limped it along to the next gas station and filled up with different gas, which diluted it enough to run decently.

Even in this modern age, there is definitely shitty gas out there.

The place we're talking about is a highly reputable chain  (Kwik Trip/Star) that covers most of Wisconsin, Iowa, and Minnesota.  It's not a fly by night shady mom and pop joint.  I fill there all the time, as does pretty much everyone in a 200 mile radius of where I live, and the only person I've ever met who claims to have issues is my FIL.

Edited October 1, 2019 by Al_4_ISU

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

2 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

The place we're talking about is a highly reputable chain  (Kwik Trip/Star) that covers most of Wisconsin, Iowa, and Minnesota.  It's not a fly by night shady mom and pop joint.  I fill there all the time, as does pretty much everyone in a 200 mile radius of where I live, and the only person I've ever met who claims to have issues is my FIL.

Gasoline aside, I like those stores when I am in those areas. For a convenience store, the food choices are pretty good. 

[Al_4_ISU 12408]

1 hour ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Gasoline aside, I like those stores when I am in those areas. For a convenience store, the food choices are pretty good. 

I think Casey's has better (well, fresher) food, but Kwik Trip/Star (they have to use Star in Iowa because we Quik Trip as well) has a wider selection, a nicer store, and MUCH better help.  They pay employees pretty well and just have a higher caliber of person working there.

If a line starts to queue up, they'll have all the registers manned, and get out quickly.  If a line starts at a Casey's, the manager goes out for a smoke break and leaves a single clerk (who has fetal alcohol syndrome) to process 20 people, at least 3 of whom are buying lottery tickets with a check, or trying to cash in lottery tickets.

[Kennythetiger 9333]

Or cigarettes that the clerk can’t find. . I live two states away from you and you just described our Casey’s like you go there once a day. 

The sausage pizza, though, hits the spot. 

[Al_4_ISU 12408]

29 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Or cigarettes that the clerk can’t find. . I live two states away from you and you just described our Casey’s like you go there once a day. 

The sausage pizza, though, hits the spot. 

Thought you were in Nebraska for some reason.

But every single Casey's on the planet has the exact same employee pool.  It's absolutely uncanny.  Granted, there's little difference in the lowest socio-economic class in any small Midwestern town, so it shouldn't be a huge shock.

[Kennythetiger 9333]

KS/NE border

[G650 13989]

14 hours ago, Stormandy said:

Fill her car every saturday, wash and vacumn if needed.

This is in the realm of absurd. My FIL does bong rips and cleans my MIL car all the time. Because he has no actual job or hobbies.

[Dennis Taylor 18679]

11 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

When I lived in SC, there was one station where I would consistently get 15% or so worse mileage for the tank (hand calculated.) It was a national chain, but that doesn't rule out the individual operator being shady, or the storage tanks being totally contaminated. I would tell everyone to avoid that station.

Driving across the country years ago, I had to get gas in some random station in the midwest, due to poor planning and there being no other stations around. Engine clearly was not happy, knocked, down on power. I didn't fill much as the place looked utterly decrepit, so I limped it along to the next gas station and filled up with different gas, which diluted it enough to run decently.

Even in this modern age, there is definitely shitty gas out there.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

Look, we're all proud of our gas.  But for God's sake can we get back on topic?

[GotThatFire 166]

Bad gas is real.

 I hate to ask, but maybe some of y’all are putting in regular unleaded when your vehicle requires the expensive stuff? 

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

I like Casey's too. 

Midwestern corn belt convenience store talk not going away. 

[SHOOTER12 8787]

On 9/29/2019 at 12:57 PM, Armybrat said:

My wife has never filled a gas tank of any kind in the 52 years we’ve been married.

I have filled her tank regularly during all those decades.

This brings back memories of my mother, my mother-in-law and my grandmother. Men just always did those type of things back then and none of those three have ever put a drop of gas in anyting and I doubt seriously they knew where to put it. The good old days.

 

Edited October 1, 2019 by SHOOTER12

[SHOOTER12 8787]

On 9/30/2019 at 10:42 AM, crimsonlonghorn said:

I do a lot of work with gasoline retailers and I can say Murphy is safe and is fine. That's a major brand with over 1,000 locations. 

The ones you need to worry about are the local one--off stations with no obvious affiliation with a brand name. Those guys will buy the cheapest shit they can from their favorite jobber. There are no safeguards there at all. 

 

Absolutely every bit of this^^^^^

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

2 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

This brings back memories of my mother, my mother-in-law and my grandmother. Men just always did those type of things back then and none of those three have ever put a drop of gas in anyting and I doubt seriously they knew where to put it. The good old days.

 

Oh, they knew where to put it alright.

[Armybrat 40678]

6 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

KS/NE border

Close to Fort Leavenworth?

[Armybrat 40678]

1 hour ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Oh, they knew where to put it alright.

Yes, they certainly did.

<hits very close to home meme>

[Kennythetiger 9333]

18 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Close to Fort Leavenworth?

No sir.  Other side of the state.  

[DCA_HORN 725]

If the gas isnt one of the major companies it doesnt have the same detergents in it that can foul the injectors over time.

My parents were caravaning on a road trip years ago. My mom calls my dad about an hour after fill up. She had been in 1 or 2 year the whole time on the highway.