Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

Flg8rfan

Flg8rfan 201

Posted
Posted
"I thought you went to the store to get the turkey?"
"Yes, I didn't want you to have to fight the crowd."
"Why is there no turkey in our freezer or refrigerator?"
"It's at work."
Narrator: the turkey is supposed to brine in buttermilk for 36 hours.

Reminds me of the time mine brought home a twin pack of butts because she wanted pulled pork.
For dinner
It was 4pm
Link to comment
Share on other sites
crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I want one of those trucks.

They aren't easy to find.

If it was the indeed the 454 Chevy. I believe they were all in black with red accents.

I'm sorry, what did you say your stupid wife did?

This one was dark blue with blue cloth seats. Last year of the 4 headlight setup. One row bench seat and a sliding rear window. 

The guy my dad bought it from had added a roll bar and off road tires. 

It was pure 1980's small town Texas. 

I parked it in my dad's garage the day we drove off for college (no need for cars in Boston) and I literally never saw that truck again. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45491

Posted
Posted

With Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals, I told my wife we need to watch our spending this month a bit, as we had a ton of big vacations this year.  Her response was along the lines of, "if we can't afford X, then we are saving too much and should cut back there." 

Jackie Chan/torbush/facepalm.jpg

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17386

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

With Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals, I told my wife we need to watch our spending this month a bit, as we had a ton of big vacations this year.  Her response was along the lines of, "if we can't afford X, then we are saving too much and should cut back there." 

Jackie Chan/torbush/facepalm.jpg

 

giphy.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25897

Posted
Posted
On 11/26/2019 at 8:50 AM, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.

Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.

And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  

So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

homeowner's insurance claim?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 11/25/2019 at 11:35 PM, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Down stairs is kinda like a halfway basement type thing because our house is on a hill leading down to the lake. We don't really go down there for much, so it was a centipede graveyard until recently. 3yo wanted a bubble bath and the upstairs only has a shower, so the bath mat had to come out along with all the dead bugs it was harboring. And yes the color is terrible. And the shower head is like chest height. Everything about the bathroom is bad. It wasn't exactly next on the list for remodeling,  but I guess it is now.

Bonding primer is your best friend right now. It will work on both the cabinet and shower enclosure/tub and make that shit look good for under $200 with some sweat equity and a few hours over a weekend. Need to space it out over 2-3 days for cure time between coats(2 prime coats and 2 paint coats).  Just did this on two 1970s dark wood kitchens and a bathroom with an avocado green shower stall. All three came out great. Bonding primer is what those 'miracle' bath remodel in a day companies use. You can even use it on formica countertops. Not sure if it will work with that 'cultured marble' counter but it will adhere to smooth tile so it should.

I recommend Insl-x -  http://www.insl-x.com/product-detail/inslx-products/stix-waterborne-bonding-primer  4-5 hours between coats

Then paint over it with Benjamin Moore's Advance in satin. https://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/interior-exterior-paints-stains/product-catalog/awiap/advance-interior-paint  16 hours between coats

Apply all coats with a smooth foam roller.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

Posted
Posted
On 12/3/2019 at 6:50 AM, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Bonding primer is your best friend right now. It will work on both the cabinet and shower enclosure/tub and make that shit look good for under $200 with some sweat equity and a few hours over a weekend. Need to space it out over 2-3 days for cure time between coats(2 prime coats and 2 paint coats).  Just did this on two 1970s dark wood kitchens and a bathroom with an avocado green shower stall. All three came out great. Bonding primer is what those 'miracle' bath remodel in a day companies use. You can even use it on formica countertops. Not sure if it will work with that 'cultured marble' counter but it will adhere to smooth tile so it should.

I recommend Insl-x -  http://www.insl-x.com/product-detail/inslx-products/stix-waterborne-bonding-primer  4-5 hours between coats

Then paint over it with Benjamin Moore's Advance in satin. https://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/interior-exterior-paints-stains/product-catalog/awiap/advance-interior-paint  16 hours between coats

Apply all coats with a smooth foam roller.

Did you have to sand them first?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

Posted
Posted

"I promise, I won't buy anymore Christmas decorations......"

Two days later-

5 new hand towels- "they were so cheap"

A 7ft LED tree for outsdie- "It will look so perfect on the corner of the house"

Full set of xmas plates and bowls- "I have been looking for ones like these forever"

3 wreaths- I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to put on the front door"

AND

27 other things I either don't know about or don't remember. 

 

 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

"I promise, I won't buy anymore Christmas decorations......"

Two days later-

5 new hand towels- "they were so cheap"

A 7ft LED tree for outsdie- "It will look so perfect on the corner of the house"

Full set of xmas plates and bowls- "I have been looking for ones like these forever"

3 wreaths- I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to put on the front door"

AND

27 other things I either don't know about or don't remember. 

Christmas will be the death of me. We will have the following conversation 25 times before the holiday.

Her: Ugh! I have so much to do! I have to bake for the people at work, shop for (insert person I have never heard of before), something something for the church, I'll never get it all done!!

Me: But you volunteered for all that. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Incredulity

Incredulity 11559

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Christmas will be the death of me. We will have the following conversation 25 times before the holiday.

Her: Ugh! I have so much to do! I have to bake for the people at work, shop for (insert person I have never heard of before), something something for the church, I'll never get it all done!!

Me: But you volunteered for all that. 

 

 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 4
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18523

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
22 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

"I promise, I won't buy anymore Christmas decorations......"

Two days later-

5 new hand towels- "they were so cheap"

A 7ft LED tree for outsdie- "It will look so perfect on the corner of the house"

Full set of xmas plates and bowls- "I have been looking for ones like these forever"

3 wreaths- I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to put on the front door"

AND

27 other things I either don't know about or don't remember. 

 

 

Only 3 wreaths? Fucking amateur.

  • Like 12
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Stormandy

Stormandy 2

Posted
Posted

Well the wife wants me to take her to the thrift store that only has Christmas stuff. Now we get to buy a bunch of other people Christmas junk. As she would say, "It was cheap and I thought it would like nice". I thought I had put a moratorium on bringing home decorator crap for the house. She is supposed to get rid of stuff before bringing more crap home. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...