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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

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Flg8rfan

Flg8rfan 201

Posted
Posted
"I thought you went to the store to get the turkey?"
"Yes, I didn't want you to have to fight the crowd."
"Why is there no turkey in our freezer or refrigerator?"
"It's at work."
Narrator: the turkey is supposed to brine in buttermilk for 36 hours.

Reminds me of the time mine brought home a twin pack of butts because she wanted pulled pork.
For dinner
It was 4pm
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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2313

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I want one of those trucks.

They aren't easy to find.

If it was the indeed the 454 Chevy. I believe they were all in black with red accents.

I'm sorry, what did you say your stupid wife did?

This one was dark blue with blue cloth seats. Last year of the 4 headlight setup. One row bench seat and a sliding rear window. 

The guy my dad bought it from had added a roll bar and off road tires. 

It was pure 1980's small town Texas. 

I parked it in my dad's garage the day we drove off for college (no need for cars in Boston) and I literally never saw that truck again. 

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 46168

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Posted

With Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals, I told my wife we need to watch our spending this month a bit, as we had a ton of big vacations this year.  Her response was along the lines of, "if we can't afford X, then we are saving too much and should cut back there." 

Jackie Chan/torbush/facepalm.jpg

 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18094

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

With Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals, I told my wife we need to watch our spending this month a bit, as we had a ton of big vacations this year.  Her response was along the lines of, "if we can't afford X, then we are saving too much and should cut back there." 

Jackie Chan/torbush/facepalm.jpg

 

giphy.gif

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 26240

Posted
Posted
On 11/26/2019 at 8:50 AM, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.

Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.

And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  

So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

homeowner's insurance claim?

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3873

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 11/25/2019 at 11:35 PM, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Down stairs is kinda like a halfway basement type thing because our house is on a hill leading down to the lake. We don't really go down there for much, so it was a centipede graveyard until recently. 3yo wanted a bubble bath and the upstairs only has a shower, so the bath mat had to come out along with all the dead bugs it was harboring. And yes the color is terrible. And the shower head is like chest height. Everything about the bathroom is bad. It wasn't exactly next on the list for remodeling,  but I guess it is now.

Bonding primer is your best friend right now. It will work on both the cabinet and shower enclosure/tub and make that shit look good for under $200 with some sweat equity and a few hours over a weekend. Need to space it out over 2-3 days for cure time between coats(2 prime coats and 2 paint coats).  Just did this on two 1970s dark wood kitchens and a bathroom with an avocado green shower stall. All three came out great. Bonding primer is what those 'miracle' bath remodel in a day companies use. You can even use it on formica countertops. Not sure if it will work with that 'cultured marble' counter but it will adhere to smooth tile so it should.

I recommend Insl-x -  http://www.insl-x.com/product-detail/inslx-products/stix-waterborne-bonding-primer  4-5 hours between coats

Then paint over it with Benjamin Moore's Advance in satin. https://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/interior-exterior-paints-stains/product-catalog/awiap/advance-interior-paint  16 hours between coats

Apply all coats with a smooth foam roller.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4494

Posted
Posted
On 12/3/2019 at 6:50 AM, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Bonding primer is your best friend right now. It will work on both the cabinet and shower enclosure/tub and make that shit look good for under $200 with some sweat equity and a few hours over a weekend. Need to space it out over 2-3 days for cure time between coats(2 prime coats and 2 paint coats).  Just did this on two 1970s dark wood kitchens and a bathroom with an avocado green shower stall. All three came out great. Bonding primer is what those 'miracle' bath remodel in a day companies use. You can even use it on formica countertops. Not sure if it will work with that 'cultured marble' counter but it will adhere to smooth tile so it should.

I recommend Insl-x -  http://www.insl-x.com/product-detail/inslx-products/stix-waterborne-bonding-primer  4-5 hours between coats

Then paint over it with Benjamin Moore's Advance in satin. https://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/interior-exterior-paints-stains/product-catalog/awiap/advance-interior-paint  16 hours between coats

Apply all coats with a smooth foam roller.

Did you have to sand them first?

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JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

Posted
Posted

"I promise, I won't buy anymore Christmas decorations......"

Two days later-

5 new hand towels- "they were so cheap"

A 7ft LED tree for outsdie- "It will look so perfect on the corner of the house"

Full set of xmas plates and bowls- "I have been looking for ones like these forever"

3 wreaths- I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to put on the front door"

AND

27 other things I either don't know about or don't remember. 

 

 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

"I promise, I won't buy anymore Christmas decorations......"

Two days later-

5 new hand towels- "they were so cheap"

A 7ft LED tree for outsdie- "It will look so perfect on the corner of the house"

Full set of xmas plates and bowls- "I have been looking for ones like these forever"

3 wreaths- I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to put on the front door"

AND

27 other things I either don't know about or don't remember. 

Christmas will be the death of me. We will have the following conversation 25 times before the holiday.

Her: Ugh! I have so much to do! I have to bake for the people at work, shop for (insert person I have never heard of before), something something for the church, I'll never get it all done!!

Me: But you volunteered for all that. 

 

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11876

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Christmas will be the death of me. We will have the following conversation 25 times before the holiday.

Her: Ugh! I have so much to do! I have to bake for the people at work, shop for (insert person I have never heard of before), something something for the church, I'll never get it all done!!

Me: But you volunteered for all that. 

 

 

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18963

Posted
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Posted
22 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

"I promise, I won't buy anymore Christmas decorations......"

Two days later-

5 new hand towels- "they were so cheap"

A 7ft LED tree for outsdie- "It will look so perfect on the corner of the house"

Full set of xmas plates and bowls- "I have been looking for ones like these forever"

3 wreaths- I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to put on the front door"

AND

27 other things I either don't know about or don't remember. 

 

 

Only 3 wreaths? Fucking amateur.

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Stormandy

Stormandy 2

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Posted

Well the wife wants me to take her to the thrift store that only has Christmas stuff. Now we get to buy a bunch of other people Christmas junk. As she would say, "It was cheap and I thought it would like nice". I thought I had put a moratorium on bringing home decorator crap for the house. She is supposed to get rid of stuff before bringing more crap home. 

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