Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

markstanco

markstanco 12576

Posted
Posted
I would have to fix that... Immediately. "Marry" those fuckers.
Of course, questions will be asked, new bottles will be bought, but I couldn't stop myself.
Dont worry, will break out a make-shift funnel tomorrow. Wife and kids down at the in laws at belton lake so I'm baching it for the week. This business will not stand. I may add water as well to save money.
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Modessit

Modessit 5600

Posted
Posted
Dont worry, will break out a make-shift funnel tomorrow. Wife and kids down at the in laws at belton lake so I'm baching it for the week. This business will not stand. I may add water as well to save money.
Don't do it. The ones on the right are for the kids clothes. The one in the middle is for her bras and underwear because they're "delicate". The ones on the left are for your clothes. You'll fuck up her system, she'll get pissed, and you'll be doing all of the laundry from now on - except for her bras and underwear which you won't see either on or off for the next 3 months.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Incredulity

Incredulity 11669

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, Modessit said:
1 hour ago, markstanco said:
Dont worry, will break out a make-shift funnel tomorrow. Wife and kids down at the in laws at belton lake so I'm baching it for the week. This business will not stand. I may add water as well to save money.

Don't do it. The ones on the right are for the kids clothes. The one in the middle is for her bras and underwear because they're "delicate". The ones on the left are for your clothes. You'll fuck up her system, she'll get pissed, and you'll be doing all of the laundry from now on - except for her bras and underwear which you won't see either on or off for the next 3 months.

Listen to him... pre-law. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
hullabelew

hullabelew 3724

Posted
Posted
On 3/14/2020 at 9:38 PM, Incredulity said:

I know.  She only knows about it because at some point some fellow sufferer’s post had me in tears as she watched Hallmark movies on some random week night.  

I blanked and couldn’t come up with believable cover story. 

Holy fucking moly.  I just learned of this bullshit.  There are now SPRING LOVE STORY movies on Hallmark.  Just like the fucking Christmas ones. Overly wholesome chicks......now wearing way too many clothes for a warm spring day.   I can't take it.  I'm adding Hallmark to HGTV on my list of places I plan to firebomb.  to, to..... to wish harm upon. Bad enough I've taken to watching replays of last year's NCAA softball tournament (WHY NOT VOLLEYBALL!).  

And now I have to work from home.....FAR from my office that is located next to a neighborhood bar where I've been drinking since 1995.  Fucking Hallmark.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
hullabelew

hullabelew 3724

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, markstanco said:

Done. 208cffc122c47459f3ac11a00b6d2ff4.jpg

Shit.  My wife buys and stores furniture like yours buys detergent.  My garage is currently holding 1 entertainment center, one chest, one 1930s by god icebox, a ping pong table that has only been used for her school projects, a whiskey barrel.  Now she is making room for 3 new book shelves that her friend is selling.  "She might want it back some day".  No shit.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
EastTexan

EastTexan 662

Posted
Posted
On March 13, 2020 at 2:02 PM, Pato del Muerto said:

We are having some meats delivered from a nearby ranch today. I go outside and see that my wife has left a cooler on the porch for the person to put the meat in. 
It’s 27 and snowing.

She's preventing it from freezer burn. Smart woman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
davidg

davidg 4037

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Incredulity said:

spacer.png

Alright I was mistaken.

We don’t have 4 ketchup bottles.  We do have two partially used identical containers of;

Salsa

Mayo

Ketchup

Relish

Mustard

Jelly

in the refrigerator. Apologies.

 

Negged for Pace Picante sauce.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Wife goes to HEB twice in 6 days, spends $470 total. 3 of us in the house full time. UT son may come home for a couple days 

Also wife: " can you pick up whataburger for lunch?" 

stupid things husbands say/post.

 

Im not eating out for the foreseeable future but damn a whataburger would sound amazing right now

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mo Horn

Mo Horn 8833

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, tbone_ said:

I get it. I’d still take whataburger over the $Zillion grocery stockpile we are currently hoarding.

Maybe that because I don’t live in Texas though.

 

51 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

God damn right!

Whataburger and HEB.... Sigh.. 

QFT

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Nolacycling

Nolacycling 893

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
On 3/13/2020 at 6:32 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Was there ice in the cooler?

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their newYeti with food and drinks. When we got there, she discovered that she should have addedice if she wanted everything cold. She thought the cold was included in the price.
  • Like 9
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18816

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

That almost sounded like English.

 

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

kept reading, wtf are whatburger leftovers? 

 

17 minutes ago, elfenix said:

maxresdefault.jpg

I was speaking in hypotheticals...I'm 230, there are no leftovers but the point is she bought so many fucking groceries both fridges are at capacity 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18816

Posted
Posted
44 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Wife to 21 y.o.: "First we garden, then we work on renovations, then chores, all while singing and laughing. This is turning out to be the best family together time ever, don't you think?

21 y.o.: "No."

No Home Depot or Bed, Bath and Beyond? Will you have enough time?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28778

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Nolacycling said:
We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their newYeti with food and drinks. When we got there, she discovered that she should have addedice if she wanted everything cold. She thought the cold was included in the price.

Nice call back. I'd forgotten that one. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...