Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[Pato del Muerto 53511]

7 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Provided she doesn't actually talk like she did in the TV show (or simply shut TFU), I'd bang her current version just as much as I'd go after the then version.

I think there was some voice affectation, but not much. 

 

[Clintonaldo 2618]

I live in Chattanooga and we for decimated by an F3 that was 1,500 yards wide and 9 miles long. My neighborhood got hit hard and 4 houses down they are total losses. I’m extremely lucky and my only issue is we don’t have power.

I tell wife to not leave neighborhood today because she is going to run over shit but what do I know






I didn’t tell you the best part. She works late and sits in driveway when she finally gets home and talks for 30 minutes and comes in and tells me something is wrong with her car. The time is 7:04 and Tirediscounters is .2 miles down the road and closes at 7


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[NorthLoop 14473]

8 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Win:  My wife doesn't watch (or like) that show or most reality TV.

Lose:  My wife watches (& likes) "The Nanny" (Fran Drescher as "Nanny Fine").

I don't know if I can take that as a wash.

Watch a couple episodes of that and then watch Californication. Then look out for Chris Hansen.

[mulletpelini 5225]

56 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:

I live in Chattanooga and we for decimated by an F3 that was 1,500 yards wide and 9 miles long. My neighborhood got hit hard and 4 houses down they are total losses. I’m extremely lucky and my only issue is we don’t have power.

I tell wife to not leave neighborhood today because she is going to run over shit but what do I know






I didn’t tell you the best part. She works late and sits in driveway when she finally gets home and talks for 30 minutes and comes in and tells me something is wrong with her car. The time is 7:04 and Tirediscounters is .2 miles down the road and closes at 7


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well cross her off then.

[ROFL BOX 6655]

15 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

well cross her off then.

[thunderlounge 8414]

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I think there was some voice affectation, but not much. 

 

 

Why does that remind me of South Austin’s mom?

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2779]

I live in Chattanooga and we for decimated by an F3 that was 1,500 yards wide and 9 miles long. My neighborhood got hit hard and 4 houses down they are total losses. I’m extremely lucky and my only issue is we don’t have power.

I tell wife to not leave neighborhood today because she is going to run over shit but what do I know






I didn’t tell you the best part. She works late and sits in driveway when she finally gets home and talks for 30 minutes and comes in and tells me something is wrong with her car. The time is 7:04 and Tirediscounters is .2 miles down the road and closes at 7


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At least it isn’t a quarter.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2779]

Sigh...this is typical. This was used for a piece of toast instead of the toaster.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22304]

Toast made in the oven is 10 times better than toast made in a toaster, but I just put it right on the oven rack.  No need for a pan.

[G650 14438]

I don't even own a toaster.

[HoffaJimmy 316]

56 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Sigh...this is typical. This was used for a piece of toast instead of the toaster.

 

and tell her she needs to do a better job scrubbing the cookie sheets. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2779]

The real point is that the foil is much smaller than the pan and mostly unable to be used for anything else.

I’m glad y’all are focusing on the forest.

[Pato del Muerto 53511]

14 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

The real point is that the foil is much smaller than the pan and mostly unable to be used for anything else.

I’m glad y’all are focusing on the forest.

It’s enough for the toast though. And foil should be single use in almost all cases. Or can’t you afford to throw that 2¢ square away?

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

22 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

The real point is that the foil is much smaller than the pan and mostly unable to be used for anything else.

I’m glad y’all are focusing on the forest.

She's used to things being undersized.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22304]

I love this thread when it ricochets

[SilasCoade 2622]

1 hour ago, G650 said:

I don't even own a toaster.

or a microwave. we fucking get it.

[G650 14438]

Just now, Llogg said:

or a microwave. we fucking get it.

Man I wasn't even gonna bring that up.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2779]

26 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

She's used to things being undersized.

Have you been sneaking over?  

[G650 14438]

49 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

The real point is that the foil is much smaller than the pan and mostly unable to be used for anything else.

I’m glad y’all are focusing on the forest.

I'm not the one worry about tin foil economics.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2779]

36 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

It’s enough for the toast though. And foil should be single use in almost all cases. Or can’t you afford to throw that 2¢ square away?

Nope.  Can't afford that.  We reuse foil all the time.  I was unaware it was designed in a single use format and that toast could ruin it from future use.  

[tbone_ 14451]

Toaster oven ftw.

[workswithseed 2204]

2 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Sigh...this is typical. This was used for a piece of toast instead of the toaster.

Holy hell this is giving me virtigo. I can't tell if it's upside down, or standing up. 

[Jameslaw121 4494]

16 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

I live in Chattanooga and we for decimated by an F3 that was 1,500 yards wide and 9 miles long. My neighborhood got hit hard and 4 houses down they are total losses. I’m extremely lucky and my only issue is we don’t have power.

I tell wife to not leave neighborhood today because she is going to run over shit but what do I know






I didn’t tell you the best part. She works late and sits in driveway when she finally gets home and talks for 30 minutes and comes in and tells me something is wrong with her car. The time is 7:04 and Tirediscounters is .2 miles down the road and closes at 7


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So. Which part was your fault. The nail in the tire? Discount Tire being closed by the time she shut up? or the Tornado?

[deadshank 24654]

3 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

So. Which part was your fault. The nail in the tire? Discount Tire being closed by the time she shut up? or the Tornado?

yes

[Clintonaldo 2618]

yes

Lol yes


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[CycleTex87 3037]

3 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Sigh...this is typical. This was used for a piece of toast instead of the toaster.

If you have a pizza stone, put it under the cookie sheet, preheat for 30 minutes, put a silicone baking pad under the aluminum foil, and parchment paper on top of the foil, pre-butter your bread, then you have some M'Fin toast.

[deadshank 24654]

1 hour ago, CycleTex87 said:

If you have a pizza stone, put it under the cookie sheet, preheat for 30 minutes, put a silicone baking pad under the aluminum foil, and parchment paper on top of the foil, pre-butter your bread, then you have some M'Fin toast.

You ridiculous dude, it’s toast. 

[ABSR 5370]

21 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

On 4/14/2020 at 5:00 AM, Sam Lin said:

What keeps you from grabbing one from the garage and plugging your shit back in?

Spite.

This is what all long term marriages are based on.  When you don't care enough about your wife to want to spite her then it's time to call it quits.

[Sam Lin 3599]

6 hours ago, CycleTex87 said:

If you have a pizza stone, put it under the cookie sheet, preheat for 30 minutes, put a silicone baking pad under the aluminum foil, and parchment paper on top of the foil, pre-butter your bread, then you have some M'Fin toast.

Make sure it's artisanal butter.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22304]

That you churned yourself

[Sam Lin 3599]

Like an artisan.

[Pato del Muerto 53511]

16 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

That you churned yourself

Better not be a store bought churn either 

[mulletpelini 5225]

5 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Make sure it's artisanal butter.

Is that pronounced like "seasonal" or like when you do some butt fuckin

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

10 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Make sure it's artisanal butter.

Free range.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

We do our toast on the green egg

[Jerry Callo 8960]

For the best toast, you have to start with a sourdough starter.  Preferably at least 10 years old and fed with stone ground flour and rain water.

[Pogo 286]

Am I the only one who owns a toaster oven?

Edit:  I'll bet I am the only one who's wife deemed it necessary for us to own 2 microwaves.

Edited April 16, 2020 by Pogo

[NeverMarryAStripper 22304]

5 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

For the best toast, you have to start with a sourdough starter.  Preferably at least 10 years old and fed with stone ground flour and rain water.

And then toasted in the brick oven that you built in the backyard that's fired with wood cut from oak trees you planted as a child

[Upgrayedd 5894]

5 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

For the best toast, you have to start with a sourdough starter.  Preferably at least 10 years old and fed with stone ground flour and rain water.

My cousin claims to have a starter from 1860.  I asked her how she knew. "That's what I was told."

[TKthunder2 5059]

23 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

And then toasted in the brick oven that you built in the backyard that's fired with wood cut from oak trees you planted as a child

Mine’s made from reclaimed wood from the deck of an old Spanish ship.

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

1 hour ago, Johnny Sack said:

We do our toast on the green egg

This is how you humblebrag, bitches.

[CycleTex87 3037]

1 hour ago, Jerry Callo said:

For the best toast, you have to start with a sourdough starter.  Preferably at least 10 years old and fed with stone ground flour and rain water.

Really the best rainwater comes from high in the Peruvian Andes.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8984]

I get my toast delivered by doordash.

[G650 14438]

2 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Mine’s made from reclaimed wood from the deck of an old Spanish ship.

Sunken reindeer hide from north of the arctic circle.

[Trey3216 15452]

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I get my toast delivered by doordash.

Our butler orders our toast on Doordash that Johnny Sack made on his Green Egg.  

[luke duke 6450]

And then toasted in the brick oven that you built in the backyard that's fired with wood cut from oak trees you planted as a child

This is the only stuff that I cook with.

[Mitch Cumsteen 18963]

On 4/14/2020 at 8:42 PM, Pato del Muerto said:

I think there was some voice affectation, but not much. 

 

I never knew that was Fran Drescher.  

[Kennythetiger 9629]

Damn it, Mitch.  I saw your avatar as "last posted" and rushed in here. 

[Trey3216 15452]

6 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Damn it, Mitch.  I saw your avatar as "last posted" and rushed in here. 

Typically a rock solid strategy. 

[Buzzrock 15136]

Wife just yelled at daughter for putting the broom somewhere she couldn’t find it. So I said, “Why, going somewhere?”

Points with daughter. No points with wife.