Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,791]

Great. Now I feel poor having just a double vanity/sharing a bathroom vs having my own bathroom and hallway.

[HornOnTheBayou 8,866]

8 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

I sketched it out, I'm seeing three doors (down) so I assume he's counting the bedroom door and keeping her in the rest of the house.

Oh, I get it now. All you had to say was it looked like my servant's quarters and I would've understood.

[BHMCruiser 1,810]

8 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

I sketched it out, I'm seeing three doors (down) so I assume he's counting the bedroom door and keeping her in the rest of the house.

Correct. Pretty close on the sketch too. Except it’s a house and not a space station so all these rooms are touching. 

[BHMCruiser 1,810]

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Great. Now I feel poor having just a double vanity/sharing a bathroom vs having my own bathroom and hallway.

It’s in Alabama

[BHMCruiser 1,810]

38 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Oh, I get it now. All you had to say was it looked like my servant's quarters and I would've understood.

If you give your servants an office and doors they will put on airs

[Irieguy 1,059]

5 minutes ago, BHMCruiser said:

If you give your servants an office and doors they will put on airs

And want some of that book learnin’

[davidg 4,019]

1 hour ago, BHMCruiser said:

 Except it’s a house and not a space station so all these rooms are touching. 

It would be a lot cooler if it was a space station.  You should get someone on that for you.

[SquishMitten 10,380]

13 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

I sketched it out, I'm seeing three doors (down) so I assume he's counting the bedroom door and keeping her in the rest of the house.

Or he locks her in her bathroom

[Hate 20,081]

I sketched it out, I'm seeing three doors (down) so I assume he's counting the bedroom door and keeping her in the rest of the house.

[ABSR 5,281]

4 hours ago, Irieguy said:

And want some of that book learnin’

This is Alabama, so they will think they can borrow the teeth.

[BHMCruiser 1,810]

15 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

I sketched it out, I'm seeing three doors (down) so I assume he's counting the bedroom door and keeping her in the rest of the house.

this is very funny

[NWBuck 8,536]

7 hours ago, BHMCruiser said:

It’s in Alabama

Ah... so it's several doublewides or sheds pushed together. Got it.

(j/k... what an incredible set up).

[NWBuck 8,536]

22 hours ago, BHMCruiser said:

It's like an episode of Get Smart. I love my house.

Time for an upgrade, right?

 

 

[wd40 1,976]

22 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

I am retarded because I cannot figure this out yet I am jealous. Well done. 

I think this is it.

[HiggyBaby 2,499]

Her: “My friends gave me a sample of this laundry soap she swears by. It worked great so she gave us the whole box to try.... what’s Amway anyway?”

[TrashMaster G 17,323]

17 minutes ago, HiggyBaby said:

Her: “My friends gave me a sample of this laundry soap she swears by. It worked great so she gave us the whole box to try.... what’s Amway anyway?”

Your wife is one cup of kool-aid away from joining a cult.

[BHMCruiser 1,810]

Here is a picture of my dog checking to see if the coast is clear

 

 

[luke duke 6,363]

Your wife is one cup of kool-aid away from joining a cult.

Yep. You need to dump the contents out and fill it with sugar. Then maybe she’ll think it does a shitty job washing clothes and won’t join the pyramid scheme.

[Mac8111 2,102]

Watching my wife struggle with one string of solar lights in a tree in our backyard really has me questioning everything about her degree. This included a question about the battery source being rechargable or not. My response of “it’s solar” may not have been received as well as you would think.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,779]

Well a lot of garden lights use the solar to charge the battery

[Buzzrock 14,796]

Well a lot of garden lights use the solar to charge the battery

Tone

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,791]

Your wife is one cup of kool-aid away from joining a cult.

Nice of you to potentially stop a hard working stay at home mom from becoming a triple gold diamond saleswoman

[TrashMaster G 17,323]

2 hours ago, Mac8111 said:

Watching my wife struggle with one string of solar lights in a tree in our backyard really has me questioning everything about her degree. This included a question about the battery source being rechargable or not. My response of “it’s solar” may not have been received as well as you would think.

Surprising. 

[ROFL BOX 6,643]

On 1/27/2021 at 9:17 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Nice of you to potentially stop a hard working stay at home mom from becoming a triple gold diamond saleswoman

[ROFL BOX 6,643]

On 1/27/2021 at 3:52 PM, HiggyBaby said:

 

I'm seeing her with the idea this would work awesome amazing to clean your cee-ment swimmin' hole & just gonna dump the whole bag in there 'cause only 1 scoop for a complete thing of laundry, so doing the math, the whole bag oughta get the pool done up jusssst right.

[Kennythetiger 9,313]

On 1/27/2021 at 3:52 PM, HiggyBaby said:

Her: “My friends gave me a sample of this laundry soap she swears by. It worked great so she gave us the whole box to try.... what’s Amway anyway?”

In your wife’s defense, I am still cooking with stainless steel Amway pots that my mom had when I was a kid. They’re at least 30 years old. 

[tbone_ 14,016]

In your wife’s defense, I am still cooking with stainless steel Amway pots that my mom had when I was a kid. They’re at least 30 years old. 

Amway did have some good shit back in the day.

[Trey3216 15,319]

On 1/26/2021 at 10:29 PM, Sam Lin said:

I sketched it out, I'm seeing three doors (down) so I assume he's counting the bedroom door and keeping her in the rest of the house.

[HenryJames 65,804]

On 1/27/2021 at 4:12 PM, BHMCruiser said:

Here is a picture of my dog checking to see if the coast is clear

 

 

Soon.

[mininghorn88 2,248]

On 4/19/2018 at 4:52 PM, Enchubben said:

I’ll also add this gem from right before Harvey last year:

my wife decides we need extra ice, but all the convenience and grocery stores are out. No problem, she decides to fill zip loc bags with water and put in the freezer to create ice before power potentially goes out. (Power doesn’t go out thankfully) She places them on the shelf so when they froze they froze around the wire shelf. 

Two days later I come back home from helping out some people in the neighborhood and she has decided to try and remove the ice bags from the freezer shelf on her own. She had the freezer door open with blow dryer in her hand and was trying to heat the ice bags in the freezer until they melted and could be removed. 

I repeat she is sitting with the freezer door open blowing a hair dryer into the freezer waiting for them to melt.

I actually had to take a hair dryer to my freezer as well for good reason.  Lost electrical power to the house.  The ice maker thawed and then re-froze.  This created a block of ice that essentially connected my ice maker to the external dispenser that was several inches thick.  Could not open the door more than about an inch.  I could not get anything in there to chip the ice away and I was afraid I was going to rip the guts out of the ice maker and dispenser as I tugged on the door.  I did not have the patience to let it thaw so I got the hairdryer out and knocked it out rather quickly.

[Enchubben 5,498]

1 hour ago, mininghorn88 said:

I actually had to take a hair dryer to my freezer as well for good reason.  Lost electrical power to the house.  The ice maker thawed and then re-froze.  This created a block of ice that essentially connected my ice maker to the external dispenser that was several inches thick.  Could not open the door more than about an inch.  I could not get anything in there to chip the ice away and I was afraid I was going to rip the guts out of the ice maker and dispenser as I tugged on the door.  I did not have the patience to let it thaw so I got the hairdryer out and knocked it out rather quickly.

Did your husband make fun of you for it as well?

[mininghorn88 2,248]

3 minutes ago, Enchubben said:

Did your husband make fun of you for it as well?

I will ignore this and wait for a better solution.

[Nivek 16,739]

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

[nnm 35,841]

2 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

The divorce thread is that way ——>

[Mo Horn 8,773]

2 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

Well today is National Eat Ice Cream for breakfast day. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,691]

5 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

Sounds kinky. 

[troph 24,435]

I told her to wash the couch cushion covers, her dog made them filthy. Usually our dog but her dog when he’s a terror (rarely happens but dirty couch cushions count) or if we break up.  So she put the cushion covers in the dryer and added detergent.  She dried the cushion covers for over an hour.  She opened the dryer and was shocked when nothing was damp and powder detergent was everywhere. Came and told me. I couldn’t believe it.

She left and came back to show me how easy it was to be confused between the washer and the dryer. “I put it on the bedding setting.” And with a grin, “ah-ha” she said as she patted my cheek with her hand.   I just looked at her.  I shoulda said I agree, it’s easy to be confused, they both have dials, buttons and knobs. 

 

 

Edited February 9, 2021 by troph

[tbone_ 14,016]

You told her huh?

[troph 24,435]

6 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

You told her huh?

Apparently. And she showed me huh? 

[TrashMaster G 17,323]

On 2/6/2021 at 9:58 AM, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

You sound like an insensitive bastard.

On 2/6/2021 at 12:36 PM, Mo Horn said:

Well today is National Eat Ice Cream for breakfast day. 

I thought you were kidding. Jfc.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

10 hours ago, troph said:

So she put the cushion covers in the dryer and added detergent.

[Guadaloopy 10,884]

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

[OrangEngr 1,034]

2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

TF you running a space heater in San Diego for?

[OrangEngr 1,034]

2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

I was going to ask how the hell your router would be on the same circuit that your bathroom (?) is on, but having recently had to play circuit hide and seek to install a ring doorbell, I won’t question it

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

35 minutes ago, OrangEngr said:

TF you running a space heater in San Diego for?

Obviously you aren't married. Women are always either ice cold or fire hot. There is no middle ground.

[Frank The Tank 1,483]

And hair dryers aren’t necessarily confined to the bathroom. I’m pretty sure there are 4 stashed in various rooms throughout my house. 

[OrangEngr 1,034]

4 minutes ago, Frank The Tank said:

And hair dryers aren’t necessarily confined to the bathroom. I’m pretty sure there are 4 stashed in various rooms throughout my house. 

My wifes sits on the floor next to our bedroom door. Except when I’m using it to defrost a frozen-over ice maker, of course.

[Guadaloopy 10,884]

Her little vanity corner unit is on the circuit for our master bedroom, which is also where the router is located.  I don’t recall our reasons for having put the main cable entry into the MBR 15 years ago.   
 

My wife would “need” a space heater no matter where we lived.  It’s fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.   

[Trey3216 15,319]

2 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Her little vanity corner unit is on the circuit for our master bedroom, which is also where the router is located.  I don’t recall our reasons for having put the main cable entry into the MBR 15 years ago.   
 

My wife would “need” a space heater no matter where we lived.  It’s fool that looks for logic in the chambers of a woman's heart.   

FIFY