Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

  • Popular Post
BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1813

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
8 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

I sketched it out, I'm seeing three doors (down) so I assume he's counting the bedroom door and keeping her in the rest of the house.

143446394_hausdoors.JPG.10ceca9289fd7e6bae83b9c650839bae.JPG

Correct. Pretty close on the sketch too. Except it’s a house and not a space station so all these rooms are touching. 

  • Like 4
  • Haha 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mac8111

Mac8111 2106

Posted
Posted

Watching my wife struggle with one string of solar lights in a tree in our backyard really has me questioning everything about her degree. This included a question about the battery source being rechargable or not. My response of “it’s solar” may not have been received as well as you would think.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17551

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Mac8111 said:

Watching my wife struggle with one string of solar lights in a tree in our backyard really has me questioning everything about her degree. This included a question about the battery source being rechargable or not. My response of “it’s solar” may not have been received as well as you would think.

Surprising. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ROFL BOX

ROFL BOX 6647

Posted
Posted
On 1/27/2021 at 3:52 PM, HiggyBaby said:


7aceffc5c15f821e7c0002b43b2ad660.jpg
 

I'm seeing her with the idea this would work awesome amazing to clean your cee-ment swimmin' hole & just gonna dump the whole bag in there 'cause only 1 scoop for a complete thing of laundry, so doing the math, the whole bag oughta get the pool done up jusssst right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9376

Posted
Posted
On 1/27/2021 at 3:52 PM, HiggyBaby said:

Her: “My friends gave me a sample of this laundry soap she swears by. It worked great so she gave us the whole box to try.... what’s Amway anyway?”

7aceffc5c15f821e7c0002b43b2ad660.jpg


fbe88d53327034d673f1a10dcb9f0063.jpg

In your wife’s defense, I am still cooking with stainless steel Amway pots that my mom had when I was a kid. They’re at least 30 years old. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
mininghorn88

mininghorn88 2277

Posted
Posted
On 4/19/2018 at 4:52 PM, Enchubben said:

I’ll also add this gem from right before Harvey last year:

my wife decides we need extra ice, but all the convenience and grocery stores are out. No problem, she decides to fill zip loc bags with water and put in the freezer to create ice before power potentially goes out. (Power doesn’t go out thankfully) She places them on the shelf so when they froze they froze around the wire shelf. 

Two days later I come back home from helping out some people in the neighborhood and she has decided to try and remove the ice bags from the freezer shelf on her own. She had the freezer door open with blow dryer in her hand and was trying to heat the ice bags in the freezer until they melted and could be removed. 

I repeat she is sitting with the freezer door open blowing a hair dryer into the freezer waiting for them to melt.

I actually had to take a hair dryer to my freezer as well for good reason.  Lost electrical power to the house.  The ice maker thawed and then re-froze.  This created a block of ice that essentially connected my ice maker to the external dispenser that was several inches thick.  Could not open the door more than about an inch.  I could not get anything in there to chip the ice away and I was afraid I was going to rip the guts out of the ice maker and dispenser as I tugged on the door.  I did not have the patience to let it thaw so I got the hairdryer out and knocked it out rather quickly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Enchubben

Enchubben 5510

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, mininghorn88 said:

I actually had to take a hair dryer to my freezer as well for good reason.  Lost electrical power to the house.  The ice maker thawed and then re-froze.  This created a block of ice that essentially connected my ice maker to the external dispenser that was several inches thick.  Could not open the door more than about an inch.  I could not get anything in there to chip the ice away and I was afraid I was going to rip the guts out of the ice maker and dispenser as I tugged on the door.  I did not have the patience to let it thaw so I got the hairdryer out and knocked it out rather quickly.

Did your husband make fun of you for it as well?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nivek

Nivek 16923

Posted
Posted

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

  • Rage+1 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36357

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

The divorce thread is that way ——>

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mo Horn

Mo Horn 8831

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

Well today is National Eat Ice Cream for breakfast day. 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28775

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

Sounds kinky. 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
troph

troph 24781

Posted
Posted (edited)

I told her to wash the couch cushion covers, her dog made them filthy. Usually our dog but her dog when he’s a terror (rarely happens but dirty couch cushions count) or if we break up.  So she put the cushion covers in the dryer and added detergent.  She dried the cushion covers for over an hour.  She opened the dryer and was shocked when nothing was damp and powder detergent was everywhere. Came and told me. I couldn’t believe it.

She left and came back to show me how easy it was to be confused between the washer and the dryer. “I put it on the bedding setting.” And with a grin, “ah-ha” she said as she patted my cheek with her hand.   I just looked at her.  I shoulda said I agree, it’s easy to be confused, they both have dials, buttons and knobs. 


 

 

Edited by troph
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17551

Posted
Posted
On 2/6/2021 at 9:58 AM, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

You sound like an insensitive bastard.

On 2/6/2021 at 12:36 PM, Mo Horn said:

Well today is National Eat Ice Cream for breakfast day. 

I thought you were kidding. Jfc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10960

Posted
Posted

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

TF you running a space heater in San Diego for?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

I was going to ask how the hell your router would be on the same circuit that your bathroom (?) is on, but having recently had to play circuit hide and seek to install a ring doorbell, I won’t question it

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Frank The Tank said:

And hair dryers aren’t necessarily confined to the bathroom. I’m pretty sure there are 4 stashed in various rooms throughout my house. 

My wifes sits on the floor next to our bedroom door. Except when I’m using it to defrost a frozen-over ice maker, of course.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10960

Posted
Posted

Her little vanity corner unit is on the circuit for our master bedroom, which is also where the router is located.  I don’t recall our reasons for having put the main cable entry into the MBR 15 years ago.   
 

My wife would “need” a space heater no matter where we lived.  It’s fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Trey3216

Trey3216 15345

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Her little vanity corner unit is on the circuit for our master bedroom, which is also where the router is located.  I don’t recall our reasons for having put the main cable entry into the MBR 15 years ago.   
 

My wife would “need” a space heater no matter where we lived.  It’s fool that looks for logic in the chambers of a woman's heart.   

FIFY

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...