Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[NeverMarryAStripper 21768]

2 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

2.  Destination / route will be 1st stop New Orleans, then to Savannah for 1 night, up to Charleston for a minimum of 2 nights, possibly 3 (yay... I get to hear her try & reinterpret the American Civil War around "Northern Aggression / economic freedom for the Confederates" when we visit Sumpter).

 

Savannah and Charleston  are two of my favorite cities

My ex and I always stayed here in Savannah.  It's supposed to be haunted, but we never saw a ghost.

http://1790restaurant.com/

Edited June 28, 2021 by NeverMarryAStripper

[MNLonghornFUKM 8791]

I wouldn’t drive through Atlanta because even with 18 lanes, it’s still a standstill

[ztejas 43000]

Who the fuck calls the 4th Independence Day? You probably call town lake Lady Bird Lake.

[BHMCruiser 1808]

3 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

We're headed to the East Coast for the Summer trip.

1.  Apparently we're leaving 78620 on 05 Jul because she wants to do Independence Day @ her parents (nothing fabulous; the swimming pool has been shut down for probably 1/2 a year & her Dad is making ribs & chicken).  It's the same people we see @ every holiday & she literally drives within 400 yards of her parents house every day she drives home from work.

2.  Destination / route will be 1st stop New Orleans, then to Savannah for 1 night, up to Charleston for a minimum of 2 nights, possibly 3 (yay... I get to hear her try & reinterpret the American Civil War around "Northern Aggression / economic freedom for the Confederates" when we visit Sumpter).

3.  For the return leg coming back a bit N (taking Interstate 20 so we can catch some of my family in South Central Arky), "I don't want to go through Atlanta.  They are literally shooting everyone there with all the BLM stuff & riots going on."  (she gets a lot of her FB news from OANN & Brietbart, etc. & nothing I can explain to her will impart even the littlest bit of knowledge).

3a.  Her:  "We are NOT going through Atlanta.  We'll just go through Augusta on the way back from Charleston."

  ...Me:  In my best Jerry Seinfeld voice "Have you ever LOOKED at a map of Georgia?"

Oh, for joy - especially when she complains about her back from having to sit for hours @ a time.

 

You're driving from New Orleans to Savannah in one day? Oh that will be fun.

[kilroydos 267]

I'm also wondering how I-20 gets you into Arkansas...

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

48 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Who the fuck calls the 4th Independence Day? You probably call town lake Lady Bird Lake.

 

this guy

[TrashMaster G 17322]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Who the fuck calls the 4th Independence Day? You probably call town lake Lady Bird Lake.

[SilasCoade 2620]

3 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Have you?

Independence Day is on 04 Jul.

Her parents live in Oak Hill.

We will be leaving the day AFTER Independence Day so that we can stay local for an added day.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

 

So the trip and the parents have nothing to do with one another. Got it.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

1 hour ago, kilroydos said:

I'm also wondering how I-20 gets you into Arkansas...

It doesn't, but considering I'm hoping to get into the Smackover region, it's a lot closer to where I'm coming from (Atlanta... er... ¿Augusta?) on that interstate & make the cut from Ruston to Homer than to take 40 across from wherever else you might have in mind.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

14 minutes ago, Llogg said:

So the trip and the parents have nothing to do with one another. Got it.

Other than holding me back by 2 days & her by 50 ~ 65 years of civil rights, sure... they aren't connected.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Who the fuck calls the 4th Independence Day? You probably call town lake Lady Bird Lake.

I'm only in the Austin area 26 years now (longer than I've lived in any region), so yeah... new to this place.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

4 hours ago, Da Fino said:

Fuck all that. 

Next go is my choice so I'm thinking Glacier National Park, over to Seattle & then back down to Portland / NorCal, maybe some PCH if it's not washed out.

If I can swing it, a 4 day fly into DC with just me & the boy so I can visit Dad in Arlington National Cemetery is also a desired trip.  [ redacted political bullshit about D.C. ]

[SilasCoade 2620]

1 hour ago, ROFL BOX said:

Other than holding me back by 2 days & her by 50 ~ 65 years of civil rights, sure... they aren't connected.

Did your wife write the original post about this trip where you assume everyone knows when you wanted to leave?

[ROFL BOX 6642]

4 minutes ago, Llogg said:

Did your wife write the original post about this trip where you assume everyone knows when you wanted to leave?

What didn't you see?

 

 

[SilasCoade 2620]

That says when you're leaving not when you wanted to leave.

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3867]

8 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Have you?

Independence Day is on 04 Jul.

Her parents live in Oak Hill.

We will be leaving the day AFTER Independence Day so that we can stay local for an added day.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

 

She's doing you a favor in not getting yourselves in the worst of the 4th holiday traffic.

[NWBuck 8536]

19 hours ago, Modessit said:

Lucky you. We've had good cool weather until we got to Washington state. Forecast is 112° tomorrow in Seattle.

 

12 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I heard on the news that the previous record high was 103. That’s a big jump. 

The good news is that very few homes here have AC (given the typical climate). And since our area of the country also has folks who make interesting hygiene choices, it's been quite a treat.

No humidity, though... took the family on a ferry ride in the evening just to cool off.

(OK- back to wives gonna' wife)

[Nolacycling 893]

Independence Day goes with the Independence theme.

War of Independence 

Declaration of Independence 

Aisle 3 @Party City

Edited June 29, 2021 by Nolacycling

[Da Fino 2715]

Next go is my choice so I'm thinking Glacier National Park, over to Seattle & then back down to Portland / NorCal, maybe some PCH if it's not washed out.
If I can swing it, a 4 day fly into DC with just me & the boy so I can visit Dad in Arlington National Cemetery is also a desired trip.  [ redacted political bullshit about D.C. ]

She won’t let you use a toll road, but you think the next one is your choice? Good luck.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

I didn't say she won't ALLOW me to use a toll road, I said I don't want to hear the bitching for 9 days.

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[nnm 35804]

4 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

I didn't say she won't ALLOW me to use a toll road, I said I don't want to hear the bitching for 9 days.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
 

Whatever helps you sleep at night. You can do whatever you want, big guy—you’re in control. 

[Thatguy 8275]

21 minutes ago, nnm said:

Whatever helps you sleep at night. You can do whatever you want, big guy—you’re in control. 

  I noticed years ago that the more expensive the decision, the less my wife wants me involved.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

On 6/28/2021 at 7:44 AM, ROFL BOX said:

We're headed to the East Coast for the Summer trip.

1.  Apparently we're leaving 78620 on 05 Jul because she wants to do Independence Day @ her parents (nothing fabulous; the swimming pool has been shut down for probably 1/2 a year & her Dad is making ribs & chicken).  It's the same people we see @ every holiday & she literally drives within 400 yards of her parents house every day she drives home from work.

2.  Destination / route will be 1st stop New Orleans, then to Savannah for 1 night, up to Charleston for a minimum of 2 nights, possibly 3 (yay... I get to hear her try & reinterpret the American Civil War around "Northern Aggression / economic freedom for the Confederates" when we visit Sumpter).

3.  For the return leg coming back a bit N (taking Interstate 20 so we can catch some of my family in South Central Arky), "I don't want to go through Atlanta.  They are literally shooting everyone there with all the BLM stuff & riots going on."  (she gets a lot of her FB news from OANN & Brietbart, etc. & nothing I can explain to her will impart even the littlest bit of knowledge).

3a.  Her:  "We are NOT going through Atlanta.  We'll just go through Augusta on the way back from Charleston."

  ...Me:  In my best Jerry Seinfeld voice "Have you ever LOOKED at a map of Georgia?"

Oh, for joy - especially when she complains about her back from having to sit for hours @ a time.

 

Has she ever been to Augusta?  It is an absolute shithole.  Unless you are a member of the club or going to the tourney, why in the world would you go there?

[Buzzrock 14790]

Interstate 20 goes through Augusta.

[baboso 6043]

4 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

Interstate 20 goes through Augusta.

and Atlanta.

[Nivek 16736]

I will never understand the logic of packing the small bags first before the suitcase. As I am waiting on her to finish packing her bags and loading up the car.

Nor giving 3 kids ice cream and popsicles before a road trip home so I have to unpack the car to get out some new shirts for the kids.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

4 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

Has she ever been to Augusta?  It is an absolute shithole.  Unless you are a member of the club or going to the tourney, why in the world would you go there?

It's a blip on the map.  Thousands of blips will be passed through.  It ain't a stopping point except maybe for a bathroom break (if needed).

[ROFL BOX 6642]

9 hours ago, Thatguy said:

  I noticed years ago that the more expensive the decision, the less my wife wants me involved.

The more expensive the decision, the more my wife wants to micromanage it.  Hell, probably 15 years ago I stopped telling her about my tool & gun purchases because it's not worth the aggravation.

[Ojo Rojo 1834]

Speaking of trips, my wife refuses to use luggage unless we are getting on a plane.  So for weekend trips using the car, which are most of our trips, she uses open top bags for all of her shit. Clothes, toiletries, hair dryers, everything, just stuffed in fucking bags .  Does the same thing with groceries - paper sacks upon paper sacks of groceries.  That might not sound that bad, but when you go to pack the car you understand what is wrong with this.  Shit easily falls out of bags that don't even have a way to close.  Plus, open bags really don't stack well, so they have to go on top.  As opposed to cuboid shaped suitcases and totes that stack and pack very well.  Shit drives me crazy.  I've asked her nicely, even if she doesn't understand the reasons why, to please, pretty fucking please with a  cherry on top - use a fucking suitcase.  Refuses.

[strangulation! 1699]

12 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Speaking of trips, my wife refuses to use luggage unless we are getting on a plane.  So for weekend trips using the car, which are most of our trips, she uses open top bags for all of her shit. Clothes, toiletries, hair dryers, everything, just stuffed in fucking bags .  Does the same thing with groceries - paper sacks upon paper sacks of groceries.  That might not sound that bad, but when you go to pack the car you understand what is wrong with this.  Shit easily falls out of bags that don't even have a way to close.  Plus, open bags really don't stack well, so they have to go on top.  As opposed to cuboid shaped suitcases and totes that stack and pack very well.  Shit drives me crazy.  I've asked her nicely, even if she doesn't understand the reasons why, to please, pretty fucking please with a  cherry on top - use a fucking suitcase.  Refuses.

it sounds plenty bad. does she ever provide a reason?

[Ojo Rojo 1834]

Just now, strangulation! said:

it sounds plenty bad. does she ever provide a reason?

PPPBBBBTTHHH!!!  In her world, reason is superfluous.  In her world, giving me a reason means I win.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

1 hour ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Speaking of trips, my wife refuses to use luggage unless we are getting on a plane.  So for weekend trips using the car, which are most of our trips, she uses open top bags for all of her shit. Clothes, toiletries, hair dryers, everything, just stuffed in fucking bags .  Does the same thing with groceries - paper sacks upon paper sacks of groceries.  That might not sound that bad, but when you go to pack the car you understand what is wrong with this.  Shit easily falls out of bags that don't even have a way to close.  Plus, open bags really don't stack well, so they have to go on top.  As opposed to cuboid shaped suitcases and totes that stack and pack very well.  Shit drives me crazy.  I've asked her nicely, even if she doesn't understand the reasons why, to please, pretty fucking please with a  cherry on top - use a fucking suitcase.  Refuses.

Throw your suitcase on top of her shitty bags a couple of times and crush/wrinkle all of her shit.

[Droopy 2622]

On 6/26/2021 at 11:56 AM, nnm said:

Packing the car for a trip. I pick up Mrs. NNM’s suitcase and head to my truck. She says “you can put it in the bed if you want to.”  I put it in the back seat. She says again “you can put that in the bed if you want to.”  I go to get another load, she takes her suitcase out of the back seat and puts it in the bed.  I’m silent, finish loading stuff. She says “what’s wrong?”  I say “well, if you wanted your suitcase in the bed, you should have told me to put it in the bed. I put it where I wanted to put it.  You shouldn’t ask me what I want if you already know that you want something different.”

Now I’m the asshole. 

Profile pic checks out.

[After irth 1242]

2 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

The more expensive the decision, the more my wife wants to micromanage it.  Hell, probably 15 years ago I stopped telling her about my tool & gun purchases because it's not worth the aggravation.

So…is there anything that you do that she doesn’t have a problem with?

[nnm 35804]

4 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Throw your suitcase on top of her shitty bags a couple of times and crush/wrinkle all of her shit.

Yes please, do that and report back on the results. I’m sure that will work out well. 

[Thatguy 8275]

14 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Speaking of trips, my wife refuses to use luggage unless we are getting on a plane.  So for weekend trips using the car, which are most of our trips, she uses open top bags for all of her shit. Clothes, toiletries, hair dryers, everything, just stuffed in fucking bags .  Does the same thing with groceries - paper sacks upon paper sacks of groceries.  That might not sound that bad, but when you go to pack the car you understand what is wrong with this.  Shit easily falls out of bags that don't even have a way to close.  Plus, open bags really don't stack well, so they have to go on top.  As opposed to cuboid shaped suitcases and totes that stack and pack very well.  Shit drives me crazy.  I've asked her nicely, even if she doesn't understand the reasons why, to please, pretty fucking please with a  cherry on top - use a fucking suitcase.  Refuses.

  Bro!

  I swear, some your significant others are intentionally trying to cause you guys mental breakdowns and or heart attacks. This is one of the ridiculous things I've ever heard.

[TrashMaster G 17322]

12 hours ago, nnm said:

Yes please, do that and report back on the results. I’m sure that will work out well. 

Probably not at the time, but sometimes a little time in the doghouse is a solid investment.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

21 hours ago, strangulation! said:

it sounds plenty bad. does she ever provide a reason?

Username checks out.

[harpercollins 394]

Whose wife is this?

[Party_Taco 3660]

Our struggles mostly surround decisions impacting the home…

I’m a “mover” and she’s a “planner”, meaning I can find what works almost instantaneously and have it executed at the earliest possible moment to a high degree of satisfaction. For her, satisfaction is driven by building a Pinterest board of every conceivable option and progressively winnowing that down to a decision somewhere between 4-12 weeks.

These days, when I rarely take up the mantle of driving something for the house, I can walk her through the decision, but then must proceed to outline every minute detail and permutation for her to be on-board with the decision.

Had a good one today, working with a contractor we’ve used before. He’s building a pair of doors under some outdoor stairs that she wants to hide the trash cans. He and I figured out design, dimensions, swing direction, hardware all in 5 minutes.

Later, as I’m taking her through the design, she blows up at our decision to have one of the doors swing from a different direction than the other. When I explain that it’s a clearance issue and that with her way we wouldn’t be able to get the trash can out, I then have to measure and go through endless performative measures to show our work.

“But what about this? Have you thought about that? And this thing, what if this happens?” JFC… Me doing anything simply isn’t worth the time savings.

[burntorangebongos 10661]

Aren't you the guy that built that BBQ pit on a bad ass trailer?  Haha, she should be happy you are so handy and talented because the other side of that sucks. 

[Js1 84934]

1 hour ago, burntorangebongos said:

Aren't you the guy that built that BBQ pit on a bad ass trailer?  Haha, she should be happy you are so handy and talented because the other side of that sucks.

[956 Worldwide 34185]

Kiddo: Daddy, why don’t you have your shoes on.

Me: I’ll put them on when we’re about to leave. Mommy is still getting ready.

Wife from hallway: I’m ready! Don’t say I’m not ready to go. We can leave. 

Me: Put on shoes, walk with child to door, open, walk out of door.

Wife: Wait! Where are you going. I don’t have my shoes yet, and I need to….

[Thatguy 8275]

12 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Kiddo: Daddy, why don’t you have your shoes on.

Me: I’ll put them on when we’re about to leave. Mommy is still getting ready.

Wife from hallway: I’m ready! Don’t say I’m not ready to go. We can leave. 

Me: Put on shoes, walk with child to door, open, walk out of door.

Wife: Wait! Where are you going. I don’t have my shoes yet, and I need to….

   This is literally everyday of my life right here. Throw in at least one water bottle and a bathroom visit and it's bang on.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

22 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

at least one water bottle

And by "at least one", you mean 6 right? 5 of which will be left in the car, unconsumed. 

[ROFL BOX 6642]

Whose wife is this?

The music tells us it was a clip from one of those dumb Univision shows.

¡Dios mijo!

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

[ROFL BOX 6642]

Aren't you the guy that built that BBQ pit on a bad ass trailer?  Haha, she should be happy you are so handy and talented because the other side of that sucks. 

You may be thinking of@Paco .

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

[Trey3216 15314]

47 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

And by "at least one", you mean 6 right? 5 of which will be left in the car, unconsumed. 

3 of which have been opened and have 2-3 sips taken out of each one  

[Flg8rfan 201]

3 of which have been opened and have 2-3 sips taken out of each one  

Jeez, went scalloping last weekend and when I cleaned out the boat cooler at least half of the water and soda bottles had been opened, a couple of swigs taken out, then closed and thrown back into the cooler. There were only 4 on the boat besides me.

For the record, I did not do this with any beer.

[Armybrat 40619]

1 hour ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Kiddo: Daddy, why don’t you have your shoes on.

Me: I’ll put them on when we’re about to leave. Mommy is still getting ready.

Wife from hallway: I’m ready! Don’t say I’m not ready to go. We can leave. 

Me: Put on shoes, walk with child to door, open, walk out of door.

Wife: Wait! Where are you going. I don’t have my shoes yet, and I need to….

Whenever we are leaving the house and I think she is coming out with her purse right behind me to the car, invariably she steps back into the house to get or do something else for a couple of minutes.

The one time I backed the car and left without her didn’t change a thing.