Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[956 Worldwide 34190]

Today I got this big ass Amazon package and I didn’t know what it was. I asked the wife and she tells me “yeah, that’s my package so I can organize a garage sale.”

You bought shit and took it into the house so we can have a garage sale?

 

[txhorns 2405]

13 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Today I got this big ass Amazon package and I didn’t know what it was. I asked the wife and she tells me “yeah, that’s my package so I can organize a garage sale.”

You bought shit and took it into the house so we can have a garage sale?

 

I bet she spent more money on that than she will make in the the garage sale.  Assuming she actually has a garage sale.

[Kennythetiger 9311]

12 minutes ago, txhorns said:

I bet she spent more money on that than she will make in the the garage sale.  Assuming she actually has a garage sale.

It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

[txhorns 2405]

Just now, Kennythetiger said:

It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

[956 Worldwide 34190]

9 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

You can tell who’s an experienced husband by who noticed the “we”’ in my original post. 

[tbone_ 14016]

It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

That’s on him. I had a prohibition against my participation in garage sales for my 19 years of marriage. It was a known.

Of course I am divorced now so maybe not the best example. But I still don’t do fucking garage sales.

[NorthLoop 14028]

30 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

If it's my wife she'll decide she needs some posterboard and scotch tape for a sign and head to Dollar General. She will return several hours later. 

[ROFL BOX 6642]

46 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

& When she returns, she will be pissed because he sold stuffed animals for fifty cents each instead of $ 15.00 each, chipped & soiled furniture for less than $ 10 & baby clothes for $ 1.00 per t-shirt.

On the bright side, most of the shit he wanted to keep got walked back into the house where it belongs.

[ABSR 5281]

3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Please post before and after pics.

I believe you meant coming and going pics of the ladies, right?

[BHMCruiser 1808]

4 hours ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

Easiest thing in the world. Put all the shit in the truck, take it to the dump, and drop $217.85 cents on the kitchen counter and watch football all day. World's Most Successful Garage Sale.

[burns_312 353]

Easiest thing in the world. Put all the shit in the truck, take it to the dump, and drop $217.85 cents on the kitchen counter and watch football all day. World's Most Successful Garage Sale.

This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


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[Hmbre97 6297]

One and only garage sale I've ever participated in was during a community garage sale. The ex wound up buying more shit from the neighbors than shit we got rid of. 

[EE2B 1561]

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

[BHMCruiser 1808]

32 minutes ago, EE2B said:

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

 

10 hours ago, burns_312 said:

This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


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quality posts

[tbone_ 14016]

This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


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My experience was if you let the wife do her thing, people will actually show up and pay you some amount of money to take some of your trash off your hands before you take the rest to the dump. Mind bottling I know.

[Chopper 17038]

Humorous, not stupid, thing my wife said.

"It's so huge I can't even get my hands around it."

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately she was speaking about a cucumber from the garden.

[SquishMitten 10378]

Did you suggest she try her vagina?

[ROFL BOX 6642]

4 hours ago, tbone_ said:

My experience was if you let the wife do her thing, people will actually show up and pay you some amount of money to take some of your trash off your hands before you take the rest to the dump. Mind bottling I know.

Not mine.  She has an insane idea of what this shit is valued.  Like, "Hey, I paid $ 30 for this 8 years ago & it is in GREAT shape - I should be able to get at least $ 25 for it."  Never mind that an equal whatever can be found @ Goodwill for $ 7.50.

[NWBuck 8536]

1 hour ago, Chopper said:

Humorous, not stupid, thing my wife said.

"It's so huge I can't even get my hands around it."

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately she was speaking about a cucumber from the garden.

 

[Pokoloco 1255]

The most stupid thing she ever did.  31 years ago tomorrow..

[Biff Tannen 45384]

13 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

The most stupid thing she ever did.  31 years ago tomorrow..

She married Will Muschamp?

[Pokoloco 1255]

Will did alright for himself

[Dennis Taylor 18628]

18 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

Will did alright for himself

That's exactly what that grin is saying.." yeah thats right buddy"

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

44 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

The most stupid thing she ever did.  31 years ago tomorrow..

1, X

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3867]

On 9/27/2021 at 11:48 AM, tbone_ said:

That’s on him. I had a prohibition against my participation in garage sales for my 19 years of marriage. It was a known.

Of course I am divorced now so maybe not the best example. But I still don’t do fucking garage sales.

Thank god I've mostly convinced the women in my family the tax write off for donating is worth more. I did pay the college daughter(no pix!) $100 to not have one and donate the stuff.

[Kennythetiger 9311]

53 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

The most stupid thing she ever did.  31 years ago tomorrow..

Oh, Trixie!  

[Clintonaldo 2562]

We made mac n cheese for dinner and I hear the garbage disposal run while she was cleaning up. I asked her if she put the noodles in the disposal and she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. I told her you aren’t supposed to do that and she asked who said and I responded with non retards across America. 

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

23 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:

We made mac n cheese for dinner and I hear the garbage disposal run while she was cleaning up. I asked her if she put the noodles in the disposal and she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. I told her you aren’t supposed to do that and she asked who said and I responded with non retards across America. 

GE fucked husbands when they named their version a Disposall. Should have just named it a throw-every-bit-of-fucking-trash-down-the-sink-all.

 

Actually maybe naming it Disposall was their plan to ensure replacement unit sales.

[Sam Lin 3538]

3 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

 she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. 

Well, is she wrong?

[Beau Vine 53820]

It would be rude to finish the ice cream -- her entire family.

[ztejas 43002]

1 minute ago, Beau Vine said:

It would be rude to finish the ice cream -- her entire family.

Folks have been shot over less.

Not less ice cream, though. 

[Wade 463]

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8791]

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.
This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

Awesome. From what I’ve gathered in my experience just this week alone from a local high school team we transport is volleyball moms are on an entirely different level of over the top.

2 trips so far this week, clean up has been smoothies from tropical smoothie cafe (I assume there’s a half sandwich) and a bunch of blaze pizza boxes. Not as crazy as the mom in your scenario…but ain’t nobody got time to order 3 or 4 for pizzas from some national chain that’ll cost under $50 these days

[NorthLoop 14028]

6 hours ago, Wade said:

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

lol I would've said your daughter must be on my daughter's team except we had Body Armor to drink and no stairs at our gym. 

[mininghorn88 2247]

7 hours ago, Wade said:

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

9 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

It would be rude to finish the ice cream -- her entire family.

Looks like strawberry. She can throw it out for all I care.

[ROFL BOX 6642]

3 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

Old guy rant:  When I was a kid, the "gift" you got was being invited to the fucking party.  "Gift bags"?  Fuck that shit. /Old guy rant.

Narrator:  "& In spite of that rant, YES, his wife DID give out gift bags for all the parties held for his children."

[Dennis Taylor 18628]

7 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

Old guy rant:  When I was a kid, the "gift" you got was being invited to the fucking party.  "Gift bags"?  Fuck that shit. /Old guy rant.

Narrator:  "& In spite of that rant, YES, his wife DID give out gift bags for all the parties held for his children."

None of them want to be that  mom that gives out the cheapest gift bag. 

[ROFL BOX 6642]

17 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

None of them want to be that  mom that gives out the cheapest gift bag. 

How about NO gift bag.  What about that notion?  Fuck that stupidity.

My wife went & bought a home cotton candy maker thing for Roxxette's birthday - think it was 10 years old (she's 16 now... fuck off on pics, pervs).
Guess what?  We still have it, wife won't sell it, the fucking thing just eats up real estate in the pantry.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

On 9/28/2021 at 8:23 AM, EE2B said:

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

We had one about 6 years ago.  Getting rid of a bunch of baby stuff and different types of furniture.  Had some decent stuff.  Most of the big stuff was gone by 9 am.  Maybe $1k total.  My handyman Mexican dude brought his family over and wanted a bunch of clothes.  I told him he could have it all and everything else remaining provided he took it all.  He was happy to do so.  Back to normal saturday by 10 am.

This was easier than schlepping it all to goodwill and we made some cash.

Doubt I ever do it again though.  I have lots of younger nieces and nephews.  They get all our kids stuff when they grow or age out of it.  Nice little slow removal of clutter every 6 months or so.  I don't like a bunch of shit in my house unless it's stuff we use.

[Dennis Taylor 18628]

36 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

How about NO gift bag.  What about that notion?  Fuck that stupidity.

 

Narrator: 

[Beau Vine 53820]

5 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

[conVINCEd 21468]

Just now, Beau Vine said:

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

One time a few years ago my sister really pissed me off.  She was on all kinds of shit trying to get pregnant again, but I told her if she didn’t get the attitude in check her kid was getting a pony for her birthday.  

[Dennis Taylor 18628]

2 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

If you want to get back at them, a turtle or two make a fine gift

 

[ztejas 43002]

5 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

One time a few years ago my sister really pissed me off.  She was on all kinds of shit trying to get pregnant again, but I told her if she didn’t get the attitude in check her kid was getting a pony for her birthday.  

I had pony. 

[Dennis Taylor 18628]

5 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

One time a few years ago my sister really pissed me off.  She was on all kinds of shit trying to get pregnant again, but I told her if she didn’t get the attitude in check her kid was getting a pony for her birthday.  

[Beau Vine 53820]

12 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I had pony. 

I hate anyone who ever had a pony growing up.

[Trey3216 15317]

30 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I had pony. 

Was it a little one?  

[Clintonaldo 2562]

18 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Well, is she wrong?

That’s not relevant to the story. 

[Kennythetiger 9311]

1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

I hate anyone who ever had a pony growing up.

So did their parents.