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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 2,040

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Last night:

Wife:  "Is there an Astros game tonight?"

Me:  "Yes. It starts at 7:10. But you can keep watching your show and I'll watch the later innings when you go to bed."

Wife: "I  thought it would be rained out."

Me:  "Sweetie, they have a stadium with a retractable roof."

Tone.

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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 2,040

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57 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Fuck off with your wife being semi-interested in baseball. 

Oh, she's not. She was watching a show on the TV in the living room and knew that if there was an Astros game on that I would want to change it over to the game. She was passive aggressively telling me not to turn off her show and turn on the Astros game.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9,584

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15 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Oh, she's not. She was watching a show on the TV in the living room and knew that if there was an Astros game on that I would want to change it over to the game. She was passive aggressively telling me not to turn off her show and turn on the Astros game.

My wife’s questions to me don’t end in question marks. I understand. 

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nnm

nnm 37,735

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Posted
3 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Last night:

Wife:  "Is there an Astros game tonight?"

Me:  "Yes. It starts at 7:10. But you can keep watching your show and I'll watch the later innings when you go to bed."

Wife: "I  thought it would be rained out."

Me:  "Sweetie, they have a stadium with a retractable roof."

Tone.

Nice humblebrag on being one of the 213 people in the world with a cable/internet subscription that actually allows you to watch the Astros on TV. 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18,029

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Posted
On 8/10/2022 at 11:14 AM, Ojo Rojo said:

Back during the height of the pandemic my wife applied for and received unemployment. She has a little bit of a weird job where her pay is not hourly or salary and shit got complicated. She also applied for some that she probably wasn't entitled to. I told her not to do that, even though money got a little tight around that time. I didn't really understand everything, I didn't want to know, but I just told her "pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered" and not to push it. Anyway, we're two years on now and she's still fucking with it. The state is trying to recover the money they say she shouldn't have gotten, but from what I understand they are overreaching and trying to take back money she was entitled to. I was sort of disgusted by the whole thing when it first started and I have largely stayed out of it. It's been her thing to deal with. In my opinion, she has fucked it all the way up, it's her fault and I'm not fixing it for her. It pisses me off even thinking about it.

At some point, maybe she got scared or I had a moment of weakness, I made an appearance during one of her hearings with the TWC. (I am a licensed attorney.) I have handled a few wage claim issues with TWC in the past and it is a very aggravating process.

This morning my wife had an appeal hearing. She had asked me to stay home with our kids and dog while she had this hearing.  Sure, no problem. The hearing was at 8:30. I'm downstairs tending to the kids and the dog and scrolling the news on my phone. At 8:30:30 she comes running downstairs and I can hear the hearing officer on speaker asking about her personal representative. Something like, "Do you want your personal representative on this call?" She's looking at me with this deer in the headlights look.  She doesn't know what to do. So I finish slinging breakfast at the kids and haul ass upstairs to my office. I say that I'm present and that kicks off a series of exchanges with the hearing officer where he's berating me for not being present when the hearing started, my wife already said she didn't want her representative present, do not leave the phone again, etc.  Dude is ordering me around and berating me and shit. When I ran up, before I even said anything, he was asking my wife if she'd received certain documents. She was flipping through them in front of me and she said she'd received something that wasn't there. I was like, "Hold on, hold on. She doesn't have that document." Guy tried to shut me down again and told me to be quiet and stop interrupting the hearing.  It sort of went downhill from there for a while until I finally figured out what was going on. She had missed the deadline to file an appeal and it was very clear. The whole hearing was just a dog and pony show. No substantive issues were reached at all. If the fucking guy had just told me that from the beginning I would have just walked out of the room, probably. So, my wife didn't ask me to be part of the hearing or tell me anything about it other than it was happening and then drags me into it while the hearing is in progress with zero preparation. Let alone the fact that she fucked this whole thing up and cost our family thousands of dollars because she tried to fuck around with unemployment.

Is she hot?

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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 2,040

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38 minutes ago, nnm said:

Checking it out. Looks great for MLB and NFL. What about CFB? No headings for that. 

I don't really geek out on TV stuff, so I'm not an expert.  If I recall, I was able to watch all of the Longhorns games on Fubo last season except those on LHN.

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11,991

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threadjack... the only reason I havent switched to Fubo is they dont have LHN.  everything else about them seems top of shelf.  

I am really hoping this next year is the last year I have stay with Spectrum. if we do go to the SEC at the start of the 23 academic year I will be dropping Spectrum like they were on fire. 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,882

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On 8/10/2022 at 11:14 AM, Ojo Rojo said:

Back during the height of the pandemic my wife applied for and received unemployment. She has a little bit of a weird job where her pay is not hourly or salary and shit got complicated. She also applied for some that she probably wasn't entitled to. I told her not to do that, even though money got a little tight around that time. I didn't really understand everything, I didn't want to know, but I just told her "pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered" and not to push it. Anyway, we're two years on now and she's still fucking with it. The state is trying to recover the money they say she shouldn't have gotten, but from what I understand they are overreaching and trying to take back money she was entitled to. I was sort of disgusted by the whole thing when it first started and I have largely stayed out of it. It's been her thing to deal with. In my opinion, she has fucked it all the way up, it's her fault and I'm not fixing it for her. It pisses me off even thinking about it.

At some point, maybe she got scared or I had a moment of weakness, I made an appearance during one of her hearings with the TWC. (I am a licensed attorney.) I have handled a few wage claim issues with TWC in the past and it is a very aggravating process.

This morning my wife had an appeal hearing. She had asked me to stay home with our kids and dog while she had this hearing.  Sure, no problem. The hearing was at 8:30. I'm downstairs tending to the kids and the dog and scrolling the news on my phone. At 8:30:30 she comes running downstairs and I can hear the hearing officer on speaker asking about her personal representative. Something like, "Do you want your personal representative on this call?" She's looking at me with this deer in the headlights look.  She doesn't know what to do. So I finish slinging breakfast at the kids and haul ass upstairs to my office. I say that I'm present and that kicks off a series of exchanges with the hearing officer where he's berating me for not being present when the hearing started, my wife already said she didn't want her representative present, do not leave the phone again, etc.  Dude is ordering me around and berating me and shit. When I ran up, before I even said anything, he was asking my wife if she'd received certain documents. She was flipping through them in front of me and she said she'd received something that wasn't there. I was like, "Hold on, hold on. She doesn't have that document." Guy tried to shut me down again and told me to be quiet and stop interrupting the hearing.  It sort of went downhill from there for a while until I finally figured out what was going on. She had missed the deadline to file an appeal and it was very clear. The whole hearing was just a dog and pony show. No substantive issues were reached at all. If the fucking guy had just told me that from the beginning I would have just walked out of the room, probably. So, my wife didn't ask me to be part of the hearing or tell me anything about it other than it was happening and then drags me into it while the hearing is in progress with zero preparation. Let alone the fact that she fucked this whole thing up and cost our family thousands of dollars because she tried to fuck around with unemployment.

I hope you sent her a bill.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28,904

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Posted
On 8/11/2022 at 1:32 PM, Ojo Rojo said:

Oh, she's not. She was watching a show on the TV in the living room and knew that if there was an Astros game on that I would want to change it over to the game. She was passive aggressively telling me not to turn off her show and turn on the Astros game.

Shouldn’t she get some credit just for knowing the weather forecast?

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Sawbonz

Sawbonz 28,081

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On 8/10/2022 at 11:14 AM, Ojo Rojo said:

Back during the height of the pandemic my wife applied for and received unemployment. She has a little bit of a weird job where her pay is not hourly or salary and shit got complicated. She also applied for some that she probably wasn't entitled to. I told her not to do that, even though money got a little tight around that time. I didn't really understand everything, I didn't want to know, but I just told her "pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered" and not to push it. Anyway, we're two years on now and she's still fucking with it. The state is trying to recover the money they say she shouldn't have gotten, but from what I understand they are overreaching and trying to take back money she was entitled to. I was sort of disgusted by the whole thing when it first started and I have largely stayed out of it. It's been her thing to deal with. In my opinion, she has fucked it all the way up, it's her fault and I'm not fixing it for her. It pisses me off even thinking about it.

At some point, maybe she got scared or I had a moment of weakness, I made an appearance during one of her hearings with the TWC. (I am a licensed attorney.) I have handled a few wage claim issues with TWC in the past and it is a very aggravating process.

This morning my wife had an appeal hearing. She had asked me to stay home with our kids and dog while she had this hearing.  Sure, no problem. The hearing was at 8:30. I'm downstairs tending to the kids and the dog and scrolling the news on my phone. At 8:30:30 she comes running downstairs and I can hear the hearing officer on speaker asking about her personal representative. Something like, "Do you want your personal representative on this call?" She's looking at me with this deer in the headlights look.  She doesn't know what to do. So I finish slinging breakfast at the kids and haul ass upstairs to my office. I say that I'm present and that kicks off a series of exchanges with the hearing officer where he's berating me for not being present when the hearing started, my wife already said she didn't want her representative present, do not leave the phone again, etc.  Dude is ordering me around and berating me and shit. When I ran up, before I even said anything, he was asking my wife if she'd received certain documents. She was flipping through them in front of me and she said she'd received something that wasn't there. I was like, "Hold on, hold on. She doesn't have that document." Guy tried to shut me down again and told me to be quiet and stop interrupting the hearing.  It sort of went downhill from there for a while until I finally figured out what was going on. She had missed the deadline to file an appeal and it was very clear. The whole hearing was just a dog and pony show. No substantive issues were reached at all. If the fucking guy had just told me that from the beginning I would have just walked out of the room, probably. So, my wife didn't ask me to be part of the hearing or tell me anything about it other than it was happening and then drags me into it while the hearing is in progress with zero preparation. Let alone the fact that she fucked this whole thing up and cost our family thousands of dollars because she tried to fuck around with unemployment.

Our wives’ shenanigans are cheeky and fun, but your wife’s shenanigans are tragic and cruel 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 55,812

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Posted
42 minutes ago, Tylerocks said:

Anyone else's wife leave wet clothes/sheets/towels to mildew in the washing machine?

 

I've finally got her to quit dumping partial loads in the washer and not starting them because "it's not full."  ("THAT IS NOT A HAMPER!!!")

But yeah, now she can never remember to listen for the bells when the washer's done, and forgets for several days, so I don't think this was actually an improvement for me.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8,963

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Posted
Anyone else's wife leave wet clothes/sheets/towels to mildew in the washing machine?
 
Just me?
 
 
Awesome.
 
For the record, we wash our own clothes...so I always smell spring fresh!

Pretty much anything that gets tossed in after 8 or 9PM is sitting all night and probably most of the next day. Maybe onto the next. I’ve lived with her for over 10 years now and I can count on one hand how many times she hasn’t had to do a rewash. She’s worse now taking care of both kids’ loads. I love pissing her off and budging to do my clothes. “But I need to do the laundry!!!1”….after basically having the last 6 days of the laundry room to herself and I’m in, out and done in 2 hrs every Saturday or Sunday afternoon
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eljinca

eljinca 279

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Posted (edited)

We’re on vacation at a beach town my wife went to with her parents growing up. I’ve never been here before. Had this back on forth one night planning what do the next day.

Her: “Oh, we should take the boys to this beach I used to go to. It’s great for kids.”

Me: “Sure, what’s the name?”

Her: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Where is it?”

Her: “It’s to the right.”

Me: “….”

Tone.

Two days later we were driving to a farmer’s market. She yelled that the beach she was talking about was a right hand exit off a state road about we were on, which was 15 miles from where we were staying. Needless to say, I needed to admit that she was correct about the beach being “on the right.”

Edited by eljinca
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huge

huge 3,824

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

We went to dinner Saturday night and were early for our reservation. Popped into the brew pub next door for a beer and Sharknado was playing on the TV behind the bar, "Wait, could that really happen?"

This is like a choose your own adventure opportunity.  Endless possibilities on a response.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18,029

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Posted
1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

We went to dinner Saturday night and were early for our reservation. Popped into the brew pub next door for a beer and Sharknado was playing on the TV behind the bar, "Wait, could that really happen?"

It's very possible.  And the world would end.  So guess what we're doing in bed tonight?

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Vertuzzi

Vertuzzi 1,420

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Posted

Who knew that closing the fridge door would be so difficult. And when it’s brought up, she gets irritated at me and explains that she’s busy and doesn’t have time to check all the little things. Should I leave it alone and let her ruin all of the food in the fridge to make a point? 

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