Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52342

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, Vertuzzi said:

Who knew that closing the fridge door would be so difficult. And when it’s brought up, she gets irritated at me and explains that she’s busy and doesn’t have time to check all the little things. Should I leave it alone and let her ruin all of the food in the fridge to make a point? 

Put a lock on the fridge doors and tell her that when she can learn to use it correctly, she can have her privilege restored. 
 

as for laundry- hat tip to the evil genius that came up with the idea of the overly large cap on the detergent with a barely visible mark a quarter way up for how much to use.  I know why they do it, and it works as intended in this house. 

  • Hook 'Em 3
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Modessit

Modessit 5596

Posted
Posted

This part:


I have largely stayed out of it. It's been her thing to deal with. In my opinion, she has fucked it all the way up, it's her fault and I'm not fixing it for her. It pisses me off even thinking about it.


...is your fault which resulted in this:

she fucked this whole thing up and cost our family thousands of dollars because she tried to fuck around with unemployment.


If she's fucking up with her own money, then you can let her deal with it on her own. If she's fucking up with everyone's money then you get involved and make sure she's not fucking up no matter what she says.



Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk


Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Modessit

Modessit 5596

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

Went on a road trip to Colorado in the past couple weeks. Somewhere along the way I saw an exit sign for Georgia Ave in 10 miles. Since I know her and the girl need frequent potty stops I say, "10 minutes to Georgia".

Wife: Wow! Really! I've never been to Georgia.

Me: Georgia AVENUE.

Wife: (disappointed) Oh.

Me: Do you even know where in the country Georgia is located? And where we are right now? We'd be majorly lost if we went into Georgia while driving from Texas to Colorado.

Of course, throughout the trip I made sure to mention how we were "almost to Georgia" several times.

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

  • Like 2
  • Haha 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 1902

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, Modessit said:

This part:

 

 


...is your fault which resulted in this:



If she's fucking up with her own money, then you can let her deal with it on her own. If she's fucking up with everyone's money then you get involved and make sure she's not fucking up no matter what she says.



Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

 

 

Nah, man. I have a controlling nature, which I fight every single day. I can't and won't try to control every aspect of everyone's lives around me. People in my orbit, even including my wife, are going to make their mistakes. It's not on me to prevent or fix everything all the fucking time. Instead, I just post and bitch about it here.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mininghorn88

mininghorn88 2263

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Modessit said:

Went on a road trip to Colorado in the past couple weeks. Somewhere along the way I saw an exit sign for Georgia Ave in 10 miles. Since I know her and the girl need frequent potty stops I say, "10 minutes to Georgia".

Wife: Wow! Really! I've never been to Georgia.

Me: Georgia AVENUE.

Wife: (disappointed) Oh.

Me: Do you even know where in the country Georgia is located? And where we are right now? We'd be majorly lost if we went into Georgia while driving from Texas to Colorado.

Of course, throughout the trip I made sure to mention how we were "almost to Georgia" several times.

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk
 

I am assuming that you know your limits with this....ooops, too late.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18706

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Modessit said:

Went on a road trip to Colorado in the past couple weeks. Somewhere along the way I saw an exit sign for Georgia Ave in 10 miles. Since I know her and the girl need frequent potty stops I say, "10 minutes to Georgia".

Wife: Wow! Really! I've never been to Georgia.

Me: Georgia AVENUE.

Wife: (disappointed) Oh.

Me: Do you even know where in the country Georgia is located? And where we are right now? We'd be majorly lost if we went into Georgia while driving from Texas to Colorado.

Of course, throughout the trip I made sure to mention how we were "almost to Georgia" several times.

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk
 

So...a celibate vacation huh...

Edited by Dennis Taylor
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

Posted
Posted

Mrs CL and I are building a house. We are currently having a fight over her selection of toilets. 

image.png.6c3cf226597c55e74fba54ae2bdfed39.png

 

I looked them up and they are the lowest rated toilets on Kohler's website and elsewhere on the internet. The primary complaint being that the bowl doesn't hold a lot of water and therefore it doesn't stay clean. The phrase "skid marks" was used in more than one review. Any water saving you might get is erased by the extra flushes it takes to get all your shit down the drain. I politely pointed her to these reviews and said we might consider picking out something more traditional. 

She took offense and claimed that she looked at all the specs and the salesman assured her it was fine.

"Did you actually take a shit in one of these, because all these bad reviews on the internet apparently did."

Tone.

This house thing is shaping up to be a lot of fun. 

(The good news is that I'm going to have my own WC in our bathroom and I can just pick out whatever I want, but I'm more concerned about guests...)

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Js1

Js1 85109

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
2 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I looked them up and they are the lowest rated toilets on Kohler's website and elsewhere on the internet. The primary complaint being that the bowl doesn't hold a lot of water and therefore it doesn't stay clean. The phrase "skid marks" was used in more than one review. Any water saving you might get is erased by the extra flushes it takes to get all your shit down the drain. 

Have a “high efficiency lo-flo”toilet in my new house and now this is all I think about. : r/KingOfTheHill

  • Hook 'Em 5
  • Like 2
  • Haha 4
  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Not that Bob

Not that Bob 734

Posted
Posted

Those “low flow” toilets are…crap. We installed 3 like that photo and replaced all three because the extra forceful “water saving” flush splashes bowl water on the seat and floor. I fought with Kohler and they replaced all three. I was insistent. The lady rep came all the way from San Antonio. I showed her the bowl water on the seat after a flush and asked if she wanted to have a seat. Kohler sent new toilets. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lidig8r

Lidig8r 1856

Posted
Posted
On 8/17/2022 at 7:30 AM, tx ind said:

Just make sure you install a bidet

This X 1000.

We had bidet toilet seats installed in the master and the guest (the bathroom closest to my home office with lots of reading material). 

These things are greatness.

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NWBuck

NWBuck 8547

Posted
Posted (edited)

We have several pairs of scissors around the house, for crafts and other such things.  One pair is (supposed) to stay in our office/stationery area (they should be stationary, if you will). 

As you can guess... All of these pairs vanish (read 'don't get put back') and the improvisation is on. 

Earlier this year, after finding the scissors that came with our knife block (and that I get sharpened with our knives) in our daughter's room and the laundry area and such, I purchased a nice set of meat scissors/shears, which I stored in what I thought was a safe location (top of a cabinet, out of sight, with my gyutou knife from a local vendor). 

Dear reader, I'm sure you can guess what my wife was using to cut open a bag of potato chips this evening.

I guess it could have been worse... The gyutou was right there as well. Sigh. 

Edited by NWBuck
  • Rage+1 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Party_Taco

Party_Taco 3674

Posted
Posted

At a BBQ event after getting settled…

ME: I’m gonna get food, want me to grab you something
HER: it’s fine I’ll just get something later

ME: lines look pretty long, are you sure?
HER: Just go!

30 mins later as she’s waiting in line…

HER: OMG THE LINES ARE SO LONG WTF IM STARVING?!?!
ME: …

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
  • Rage+1 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

Posted
Posted (edited)

The fallout from the toilet argument is that she invited me to come to Ferguson to a meeting today to discuss appliances and toilets. I’m sitting here taking notes at this very moment while she talks to the designers. 
 

Holy shit. This is going to take more handholding on my part. This is bad. Really bad. She has no idea what she’s doing and is just going off with impractical ideas (eg no freezer in the kitchen, just in the mud room) because she thinks she’s so smart. The designers are trying to explain stuff and talk reason to her and she’s blowing them off. 
 

I thought I’d give her a little autonomy here. Bad mistake. A bad expensive mistake. 

Edited by crimsonlonghorn
  • Like 2
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1813

Posted
Posted
On 8/10/2022 at 11:14 AM, Ojo Rojo said:

Back during the height of the pandemic my wife applied for and received unemployment. She has a little bit of a weird job where her pay is not hourly or salary and shit got complicated. She also applied for some that she probably wasn't entitled to. I told her not to do that, even though money got a little tight around that time. I didn't really understand everything, I didn't want to know, but I just told her "pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered" and not to push it. Anyway, we're two years on now and she's still fucking with it. The state is trying to recover the money they say she shouldn't have gotten, but from what I understand they are overreaching and trying to take back money she was entitled to. I was sort of disgusted by the whole thing when it first started and I have largely stayed out of it. It's been her thing to deal with. In my opinion, she has fucked it all the way up, it's her fault and I'm not fixing it for her. It pisses me off even thinking about it.

At some point, maybe she got scared or I had a moment of weakness, I made an appearance during one of her hearings with the TWC. (I am a licensed attorney.) I have handled a few wage claim issues with TWC in the past and it is a very aggravating process.

This morning my wife had an appeal hearing. She had asked me to stay home with our kids and dog while she had this hearing.  Sure, no problem. The hearing was at 8:30. I'm downstairs tending to the kids and the dog and scrolling the news on my phone. At 8:30:30 she comes running downstairs and I can hear the hearing officer on speaker asking about her personal representative. Something like, "Do you want your personal representative on this call?" She's looking at me with this deer in the headlights look.  She doesn't know what to do. So I finish slinging breakfast at the kids and haul ass upstairs to my office. I say that I'm present and that kicks off a series of exchanges with the hearing officer where he's berating me for not being present when the hearing started, my wife already said she didn't want her representative present, do not leave the phone again, etc.  Dude is ordering me around and berating me and shit. When I ran up, before I even said anything, he was asking my wife if she'd received certain documents. She was flipping through them in front of me and she said she'd received something that wasn't there. I was like, "Hold on, hold on. She doesn't have that document." Guy tried to shut me down again and told me to be quiet and stop interrupting the hearing.  It sort of went downhill from there for a while until I finally figured out what was going on. She had missed the deadline to file an appeal and it was very clear. The whole hearing was just a dog and pony show. No substantive issues were reached at all. If the fucking guy had just told me that from the beginning I would have just walked out of the room, probably. So, my wife didn't ask me to be part of the hearing or tell me anything about it other than it was happening and then drags me into it while the hearing is in progress with zero preparation. Let alone the fact that she fucked this whole thing up and cost our family thousands of dollars because she tried to fuck around with unemployment.

you're an attorney and you let your wife commit unemployment fraud?

 

good luck with all that, etc.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 3
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 1902

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, BHMCruiser said:

you're an attorney and you let your wife commit unemployment fraud?

 

good luck with all that, etc.

I didn't "let" her do shit. I advised her not to test the limits and she did it anyway. It's still an open question whether she actually committed fraud. It was a complicated deal because of the way she is paid. I think it is likely that she fucked up some and TWC fucked up some. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
deadshank

deadshank 24651

Posted
Posted
On 8/20/2022 at 2:12 PM, Party_Taco said:

At a BBQ event after getting settled…

ME: I’m gonna get food, want me to grab you something
HER: it’s fine I’ll just get something later

ME: lines look pretty long, are you sure?
HER: Just go!

30 mins later as she’s waiting in line…

HER: OMG THE LINES ARE SO LONG WTF IM STARVING?!?!
ME: …

While you’re out with my wife please take your time bringing her back.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sandman

Sandman 3402

Posted
Posted

We went to the local grocery store to pick up a pre-made cake for my dad's birthday. It had a decoration on the left and there was a small section where you could use icing to write your own message. We take it home and she wants to do the "writing". I say fine, she asks what I want her to write. i tell her "Happy B-Day, Dad", exactly like that, with "B dash Day". She asks again, like I got marbles in my mouth or something. I say it again and I tell her "Exacty like I said, B-Day, there's not much room and that will fit easily". I leave the room.

She comes in all proud, "Look, I was able to get the whole word "Birthday" on there!". It looks fine but I ask her (for the 5000+ time in the last 13 years), "Why ask what I want if you are just gonna ignore what I say?".  Tone. She does this all the time, "What should I say in this email?" or "What should I say to my sister about XYZ?". I tell her my opinion and she does the exact opposite. I keep saying I give up but she pulls me back in, like I'm some great value Michael Corleone. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
  • Rage+1 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28711

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

The answer to that questions is “I would suggest xyz, but do whatever you think is best”

You already know what the outcome is going to be. Why get bent about it 5,000 times in a row.

I’d say he should suggest that she do the opposite of what he really thinks she should do. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1813

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Think about that statement in reference of what thread you are on. 

Fair point. My wife does the same thing.

Wife: "I am so mad about this situation that I am going to call A and tell them never to work with B (former employer) again." 

Me: "You can't do that. That's tortious interference." 

Wife: "I can do whatever I want. This is not right. I set this up, and they should not get to benefit from it."

Me: "You did it while you were an employee there. You cannot call anybody about your gripe." 

Wife: "You don't know what you're talking about. I can tell anybody whatever I want."

Me: "Okay." *Turns back to drafting summary judgment brief in case involving tortious interference.*

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 3
  • Haha 9
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ABSR

ABSR 5289

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, BHMCruiser said:

Fair point. My wife does the same thing.

Wife: "I am so mad about this situation that I am going to call A and tell them never to work with B (former employer) again." 

Me: "You can't do that. That's tortious interference." 

Wife: "I can do whatever I want. This is not right. I set this up, and they should not get to benefit from it."

Me: "You did it while you were an employee there. You cannot call anybody about your gripe." 

Wife: "You don't know what you're talking about. I can tell anybody whatever I want."

Me: "Okay." *Turns back to drafting summary judgment brief in case involving tortious interference.*

To be fair she is right.  She can tell them anything she wants, but if she does it is tortious interference. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...