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Posted
6 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

One is clearly a produce bag and the other two are clearly checkout bags. You should visit a grocery store sometime this century.

My produce bags have a lot less print on them. Some have none all. Some are green (purple if buying organic). The store where I usually shop doesn’t even have plastic bags at checkout anymore. When they did, they were blue.

It was a post taken from Reddit so we can’t interrogate Jacksquatch, the alleged husband. I’m having a hard time buying the frugal wife theory.

I will say this, though. I was trying to imagine what might be going on in someone’s head to make them do such a thing. All I could come up with is that it’s the sort of thing someone might do if they were tripping on acid. You’ve got this bag, you’ve got this potato, they’re supposed to go together, you can’t open the bag, so you put them together the best you can. Just dropping the bag in the potato bin and letting an employee take care of it doesn’t cross your mind. There have been times when I’ve wondered if being a woman is like going through life on a permanent acid trip. 

Posted
9 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

There have been times when I’ve wondered if being a woman is like going through life on a permanent acid trip. 

Your post was exactly the in-depth analysis my wife would have in a conversation with me (or hopefully, instead, her mother). I’d say you have a pretty good grasp on what it’s like to be a woman. 

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Posted
16 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

They look similar but I can buy that. I still question the single potato purchase (what recipe calls for one potato in a household of at least two people?) and the half-tied knot. 
 

It’s weird. I buy potatoes by the bag and I’m a single guy who often uses just one potato when cooking. When I buy other things like onions, garlic, lemons, or limes, where I’m just buying one or two of each, I won’t bother with a produce bag. 

A lot of soup recipes call for one potato 

Posted
On 12/24/2022 at 8:55 AM, Brisketexan said:


But back when you started reading it, it was the New Amsterdamer.

My great (x8) grandfather was the last Dutch governor of New Amsterdam, so this hits close to home. 

Posted
On 12/23/2022 at 7:31 PM, tbone_ said:


I like the New Yorker. I wouldn’t read it either but I do miss the days when we had time for long reads.

This. I really miss the Saturday and Sunday morning of reading the paper with my coffee.

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Posted
18 hours ago, Pokoloco said:

So the wife asks me if any co-workers gave me a Christmas gift.

Me: I got a box of really good toffee, I'll bring it home next time I go in.

Her:  *makes a face*  well that's weird. Seems like an odd gift.

Me; No, not really, I got some before- it's really good.

Her: Doesn't that hurt your teeth?

Me: I guess it can??

I come home with the toffee, open the box to give her some.

Her: *gets that little kid look on her face, I know some Trixie shit is coming* Oh, THIS is toffee??  I thought it was pink and stretchy.

Me: For fucks sake, that's Taffy. 

What kind of toffee is it?  

Posted

We left for the holidays in the 12th. Wife lowered heaters to 60*F but refused to turn it and the water boiler off.
 

Her rationale is when we return, (1) she cant wait the few hours to bring system back up to temp (fine, subjective) and (2) it will consume *more* electricity to do so (no, this is not how physics work). 
314B7BCC-1A1F-465B-AF64-D3A2E3070F5E.jpeg.3328281582dc953145531454278e8c58.jpeg

The bar graph is basically just the heaters working against the ambient temp. We’re burning ~40kWh a day keeping an empty residence warmed. 

Electric bill is $600+ so far and theres still a few days left in the month. We’re also not returning until middle of January. 

It would’ve been more cost effective to drop her off at a luxury hotel while waiting for the house to heat up. Or, to light cash on fire for the warmth.

So anyway, im buying a wifi connected thermostat to end this nonsense.

 

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Posted
We left for the holidays in the 12th. Wife lowered heaters to 60*F but refused to turn it and the water boiler off.
 
Her rationale is when we return, (1) she cant wait the few hours to bring system back up to temp (fine, subjective) and (2) it will consume *more* electricity to do so (no, this is not how physics work). 
314B7BCC-1A1F-465B-AF64-D3A2E3070F5E.jpeg.3328281582dc953145531454278e8c58.jpeg
The bar graph is basically just the heaters working against the ambient temp. We’re burning ~40kWh a day keeping an empty residence warmed. 
Electric bill is $600+ so far and theres still a few days left in the month. We’re also not returning until middle of January. 
It would’ve been more cost effective to drop her off at a luxury hotel while waiting for the house to heat up. Or, to light cash on fire for the warmth.
So anyway, im buying a wifi connected thermostat to end this nonsense.
 

My husband does the same shit. He also puts the heat pump on emergency mode. It is a constant fucking battle and our bill is going to be awesome.
Posted
26 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

My wife leaves the second floor low and cranks up the heat on the first so that it will radiate through the house but not blow hot air on her.

She knows bouyancy

latest?cb=20151021051306
 

Posted
18 hours ago, tigol said:


My husband does the same shit. He also puts the heat pump on emergency mode. It is a constant fucking battle and our bill is going to be awesome.

Shit, have you tried mansplaining to him what emergency mode is/does? Tell him to keep his f'ing hands off the thermostat and go back to making you a sandwich and opening that beer.

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Posted
Shit, have you tried mansplaining to him what emergency mode is/does? Tell him to keep his f'ing hands off the thermostat and go back to making you a sandwich and opening that beer.

Yes. Many times. I sent him several links. But, I am a female and there is no way in hell I know more about it. Infuriating.
Posted
4 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

So kids and I get the wife gift cards to this store she routinely spends too much at. Checking account always takes an ass whipping in December so we got these a couple months in advance.  She announces she's taking her cards there today. Ok great.  Comes home with a bunch of chick crap a couple hours later. I'm checking the bank account to pay some bills and see a fairly significant amount charged at the same store ....

Me : Why do I see this charge? That's why we got you the gift cards. 

Her: I didn't see anything big I really wanted. I'm saving the gift cards for that. 

Me: The point of the gift cards is to not impact the checking account. Now it's actually twice as much impact on the checking account 

Her: (confused puppy that hears a strange noise look)...how? I only spent X. 

Me: We got you gift cards for X, you just spent X from our account instead of the gift card. That's 2X total. 

Her: more confusion + tone

Me: (I better shut up if I want to have any activities tonight).

Happy Hour Reaction GIF by Laff 

 

Start asking for gift cards and do the same thing. You'll have a new set of irons, a shotgun, or whatever in no time.

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Posted
So kids and I get the wife gift cards to this store she routinely spends too much at. Checking account always takes an ass whipping in December so we got these a couple months in advance.  She announces she's taking her cards there today. Ok great.  Comes home with a bunch of chick crap a couple hours later. I'm checking the bank account to pay some bills and see a fairly significant amount charged at the same store ....
Me : Why do I see this charge? That's why we got you the gift cards. 
Her: I didn't see anything big I really wanted. I'm saving the gift cards for that. 
Me: The point of the gift cards is to not impact the checking account. Now it's actually twice as much impact on the checking account 
Her: (confused puppy that hears a strange noise look)...how? I only spent X. 
Me: We got you gift cards for X, you just spent X from our account instead of the gift card. That's 2X total. 
Her: more confusion + tone
Me: (I better shut up if I want to have any activities tonight).
200.gif 
 

There is no way to win. You realize this right?
Posted

There is no way to win. You realize this right?

Ronald Spiers had advice for combat that applied analogously to such marital conundrums: “The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead.”
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Posted
On 12/29/2022 at 2:45 PM, 52-80 said:

We left for the holidays in the 12th. Wife lowered heaters to 60*F but refused to turn it and the water boiler off.
 

Her rationale is when we return, (1) she cant wait the few hours to bring system back up to temp (fine, subjective) and (2) it will consume *more* electricity to do so (no, this is not how physics work). 
314B7BCC-1A1F-465B-AF64-D3A2E3070F5E.jpeg.3328281582dc953145531454278e8c58.jpeg

The bar graph is basically just the heaters working against the ambient temp. We’re burning ~40kWh a day keeping an empty residence warmed. 

Electric bill is $600+ so far and theres still a few days left in the month. We’re also not returning until middle of January. 

It would’ve been more cost effective to drop her off at a luxury hotel while waiting for the house to heat up. Or, to light cash on fire for the warmth.

So anyway, im buying a wifi connected thermostat to end this nonsense.

 

Then lock the keypad and don't give her app access. 

Posted
On 12/29/2022 at 2:45 PM, 52-80 said:

We left for the holidays in the 12th. Wife lowered heaters to 60*F but refused to turn it and the water boiler off.
 

Her rationale is when we return, (1) she cant wait the few hours to bring system back up to temp (fine, subjective) and (2) it will consume *more* electricity to do so (no, this is not how physics work). 
314B7BCC-1A1F-465B-AF64-D3A2E3070F5E.jpeg.3328281582dc953145531454278e8c58.jpeg

The bar graph is basically just the heaters working against the ambient temp. We’re burning ~40kWh a day keeping an empty residence warmed. 

Electric bill is $600+ so far and theres still a few days left in the month. We’re also not returning until middle of January. 

It would’ve been more cost effective to drop her off at a luxury hotel while waiting for the house to heat up. Or, to light cash on fire for the warmth.

So anyway, im buying a wifi connected thermostat to end this nonsense.

 

Curious,  whereabouts do you live to have a whopper electric bill like that?

Posted
On 12/16/2022 at 7:42 AM, Lhorn said:

Last night I was talking with the wife on the phone while we were both driving home (both on Bluetooth, not holding a phone).  All of a sudden she say “oh God!” Followed by a bunch of muffled noises for 5 seconds or so.  I truly thought I was hearing her have a car accident.  Turns out she had run up on a median of some sort.  As she tried to move the car off of it, she could hear scraping underneath the car.  I told her to call AAA and not tear the hole in the oil pan trying to move the car.  A Good Samaritan was able to check it out and help her back the car off the obstruction with no apparent damage to the car. 
 

This morning she calls me and tells me she ripped the passenger side mirror off the fucking car backing the car out of the garage. 
 

For fuck sake.   She’s done that at least 3-4 times with her previous cars.  

My wife did this with our four month old (well, four month old to us) Honda Pilot with some door and fender damage for good measure, and then she did the same thing to the Ford Escape rental we used while our car was in the shop.

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Posted
18 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Curious,  whereabouts do you live to have a whopper electric bill like that?

Somewhere in Norway. Interesting. 

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Posted
On 12/31/2022 at 5:40 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

So kids and I get the wife gift cards to this store she routinely spends too much at. Checking account always takes an ass whipping in December so we got these a couple months in advance.  She announces she's taking her cards there today. Ok great.  Comes home with a bunch of chick crap a couple hours later. I'm checking the bank account to pay some bills and see a fairly significant amount charged at the same store ....

Me : Why do I see this charge? That's why we got you the gift cards. 

Her: I didn't see anything big I really wanted. I'm saving the gift cards for that. 

Me: The point of the gift cards is to not impact the checking account. Now it's actually twice as much impact on the checking account 

Her: (confused puppy that hears a strange noise look)...how? I only spent X. 

Me: We got you gift cards for X, you just spent X from our account instead of the gift card. That's 2X total. 

Her: more confusion + tone

Me: (I better shut up if I want to have any activities tonight).

Happy Hour Reaction GIF by Laff 

 

I got to “gift cards” in the first sentence and knew where you were going

Posted
On 12/29/2022 at 2:45 PM, 52-80 said:

We left for the holidays in the 12th. Wife lowered heaters to 60*F but refused to turn it and the water boiler off.
 

Her rationale is when we return, (1) she cant wait the few hours to bring system back up to temp (fine, subjective) and (2) it will consume *more* electricity to do so (no, this is not how physics work). 
314B7BCC-1A1F-465B-AF64-D3A2E3070F5E.jpeg.3328281582dc953145531454278e8c58.jpeg

The bar graph is basically just the heaters working against the ambient temp. We’re burning ~40kWh a day keeping an empty residence warmed. 

Electric bill is $600+ so far and theres still a few days left in the month. We’re also not returning until middle of January. 

It would’ve been more cost effective to drop her off at a luxury hotel while waiting for the house to heat up. Or, to light cash on fire for the warmth.

So anyway, im buying a wifi connected thermostat to end this nonsense.

 

You have remote access to all that data but can't shut it off remotely?

Posted
17 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

You have remote access to all that data but can't shut it off remotely?

That feed comes from the electricity provider. I guess I can ask them to terminate the contract…

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Posted (edited)

We were at our cabin for Christmas, and I had driven my F150. My wife insisted on going to town with one of my daughters for some after-Christmas shopping.

They get home after dark, and I see her maneuvering back and forth in the driveway. I go outside to help because I was afraid she would hit someone else’s car. By the time I got out there, she - with my daughter as navigator -  only had one tire on the concrete.

It’s not as flat as it appears in this pic, but if she had continued backing up, she would’ve been down in the creek. As it turns out, she had unilaterally decided to drive my daughter to the airport for her early morning flight and didn’t want to back out of the driveway in the dark.

I told her to pull onto flat ground and let me park the truck. Zoom in for tire tracks as well as snow tracks:

270-DBB89-852-C-46-CC-ADE5-2-E44-EC21-B5

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
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Posted
My wife did this with our four month old (well, four month old to us) Honda Pilot with some door and fender damage for good measure, and then she did the same thing to the Ford Escape rental we used while our car was in the shop.
129adb484b30a56c59a5efdd4458236f.gif
Posted
On 12/24/2022 at 7:17 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

A lot of soup recipes call for one potato 

Who in the hell uses a recipe for soup? Just start throwing shit in there and quit when it looks/feels right.

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