Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[txhorns 2407]

29 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

Has she hit the front wall pulling in too far and blame you for it yet?

Thankfully no.  This is her first issue with a vehicle.  I’m sure mor are to come.

[Fudbelty 2785]

Whatta y'all have, a Model T?

I’m just saying the digital reading for miles to E (most) all vehicles have now. Hers goes from like 35 to 0 and she always likes to take it to there. Also where she left the Jeep. Maybe I’m the weird one who starts getting nervous when the gauge hits 1/4 or less than 100 miles digitally.

[SHOOTER12 8787]

50 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Glad mine can't, she'd probably push the garage fridge into the guest bathroom.  

Boy did you ever just jinx yourself....

[Sam Lin 3540]

18 minutes ago, Fudbelty said:

I’m just saying the digital reading for miles to E (most) all vehicles have now. Hers goes from like 35 to 0 and she always likes to take it to there. Also where she left the Jeep. Maybe I’m the weird one who starts getting nervous when the gauge hits 1/4 or less than 100 miles digitally.

Don't attempt to explain this to wife, but most fuel pumps are immersed in the fuel tank and start running hotter if the tank gets low. You will increase your fuel pump lifespan if you never run the tank under 1/4.

[Kennythetiger 9333]

1 minute ago, Sam Lin said:

Don't attempt to explain this to wife, but most fuel pumps are immersed in the fuel tank and start running hotter if the tank gets low. You will increase your fuel pump lifespan if you never run the tank under 1/4.

Same thing my mechanic told me. 

[tigol 2383]

Don't attempt to explain this to wife, but most fuel pumps are immersed in the fuel tank and start running hotter if the tank gets low. You will increase your fuel pump lifespan if you never run the tank under 1/4.

This is what I was taught. I get very nervous at 1/4 tank. The stories of going to 0 are insane.

[Sandman 3402]

I remember as a kid, my dad would sometimes ask me if I wanted to go to the gas station with him, as he had to go gas up my mom's car. I didn't think to ask him why she didn't do it herself, I just liked doing stuff with my dad so I always went. Now I wonder if she ever got her own gas once in her whole life? Or did he just know it was a losing battle and he was gonna avoid the hassle? 

My wife gets her own gas just fine, but she has a hard time parking in the garage and has put a hole in wall from opening her door when she's too close.

[Incredulity 11532]

2 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Or did he just know it was a losing battle and he was gonna avoid the hassle? 

All married men deal with this exact conundrum every single day of their married life.

[tejas60 3526]

1 hour ago, Trey3216 said:

Glad mine can't, she'd probably push the garage fridge into the guest bathroom.  

don't kid yourself.

[Beau Vine 53964]

2 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Don't attempt to explain this to wife, but most fuel pumps are immersed in the fuel tank and start running hotter if the tank gets low. You will increase your fuel pump lifespan if you never run the tank under 1/4.

 We got a new hybrid last year that we share (it actually hasn't been that bad!) because I rarely drive and I told the wife that I read that you're not supposed to drive a hybrid with the gas tank below 100 miles remaining.  That seems to have stopped her driving until it was dry, but every time I get in the car, it still seems to show only about 80 miles remaining.  

[nnm 35991]

Mrs. NNM helped me with a little project in the backyard yesterday evening.  I dropped a wood screw in the yard.  We couldn't find it in the fading light.  We went back out there this afternoon to finish up.  She looked for the wood screw. 

Her:  "I can't believe it's so hard to find a screw."  

Me:  "I can."

Her:  "I was waiting for that."

Edited January 12, 2023 by nnm

[Nuge 1961]

My dad did the whole hang a golf ball in the garage to indicate when to stop the car.  He upped the ante by taking a roll of blue tape and outlining where the car should be parked so that door shaped holes in the walls could be avoided.

Works great.  However, backing out into the driveway seems to be an issue.  One day I'm visiting and she wants to take my son to go get some Pokémon cards.  Apparently backing straight out of the garage is a task too great for her.  She noticed on the back-up camera that she was getting close to my car so she asked my son to get out and tell her if she's getting too close.  He steps out and she had already hit my car.  Grrrrrrrr.

 

[utee94 15742]

4 hours ago, txhorns said:

Thankfully no.  This is her first issue with a vehicle.  I’m sure mor are to come.

Ah, so you married a 16 year old?

Do you by chance live in Kentucky?

 

Edited January 12, 2023 by utee94

[Trey3216 15325]

It never fails, at least once per week, that my wife forgets something at the house on her way out the door to drop the kids off at her mom's on the way to work in the mornings.

 

Today it was her cellphone.

Yesterday it was her lunch

Sometimes it's her badge to get into work

Just mind numbing.   

[tbone_ 14020]

You should just be happy she has work to keep her mind occupied, as opposed to occupying it with all the ways she could be up your ass.

[ztejas 43244]

33 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

It never fails, at least once per week, that my wife forgets something at the house on her way out the door to drop the kids off at her mom's on the way to work in the mornings.

 

Today it was her cellphone.

Yesterday it was her lunch

Sometimes it's her badge to get into work

Just mind numbing.   

I'll do this sometimes if it's like an auxiliary item that would be nice to have or I typically have but I don't require. Like sunglasses or a supplement/vitamin I'm taking or my CBD drops. 

I fucking never - ever - leave without keys, phone, wallet. Even when I know I'm not going to need my wallet I bring my wallet. 

[Frank The Tank 1492]

Paging @KeysPhoneWallet

[Sawbonz 27375]

21 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

I come home today and the jeep was gone again. So I text her.

“Holy shit. I’m calling the cops!”
“Why what happened?”
“Someone stole the jeep out of the garage!”
“Oh lol. My car needed gas and I didn’t have time”

We get in her car and it’s literally down to 0 miles. They really should give you a 50 mile warning.

In a ford expedition you can go at least 1.2 miles when it says 0 miles. That’s how far the nearest gas station is from my house. Clearly a married man calibrated the gauge 

[rage-a-holic 4300]

3 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

In a ford expedition you can go at least 1.2 miles when it says 0 miles. That’s how far the nearest gas station is from my house. Clearly a married man calibrated the gauge 

What if your wife drove it for 20 miles when it read 0 miles, then parked it at your house...can you still go 1.2 miles?

[Sawbonz 27375]

1 minute ago, rage-a-holic said:

What if your wife drove it for 20 miles when it read 0 miles, then parked it at your house...can you still go 1.2 miles?

Good question. We no longer have the expedition so I’ll never know. Also sons are driving now so if I notice she’s at less than a 1/4 tank I have one of them go fill it up

[Trey3216 15325]

2 hours ago, tbone_ said:

You should just be happy she has work to keep her mind occupied, as opposed to occupying it with all the ways she could be up your ass.

That’s what she does at work.  

[Wade 463]

22 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

 

This reminds me of a family trip we took in 2021.  Driving to Utah and Grand Canyon with the kids on the 15 from CA.  Wife is driving current leg, and we've driven past Vegas into the desert.  I'm in the backseat behind her, hungover, and ask her how the gas situation is looking.  She says fine.  There's really no way for me to see myself, so I take her at her word and go back to half asleep. 

I sort of wake up and see a billboard, "last gas for 40 miles or something".  I again ask her, she says it's cool.

You know the rest.  We get into a very hilly area with twists and turns and no cell coverage at all, and she notes that the gas light is on.  Fuck me.

Thirty minutes of sweating, internal rage, and praying, and we eventually made it to a gas station.

[AUS-97HORN 11654]

44 minutes ago, Wade said:

Thirty minutes of sweating, internal rage, and praying, and we eventually made it to a gas station.

this is the wives and stupid shit they do thread.... not the "husbands and stupid shit they believe what their wives said" thread.   

you know that 30 mins of rage and sweating is on you. 

[Wade 463]

10 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

this is the wives and stupid shit they do thread.... not the "husbands and stupid shit they believe what their wives said" thread.   

you know that 30 mins of rage and sweating is on you. 

Was fully expecting a response along these lines.  Nah, I reject it.  My wife is in the upper echelon of women when it comes to common sense.  Sometimes their womeness just gets the better of them.

[Gil Bang 25865]

58 minutes ago, Wade said:

This reminds me of a family trip we took in 2021.  Driving to Utah and Grand Canyon with the kids on the 15 from CA.  Wife is driving current leg, and we've driven past Vegas into the desert.  I'm in the backseat behind her, hungover, and ask her how the gas situation is looking.  She says fine.  There's really no way for me to see myself, so I take her at her word and go back to half asleep. 

I sort of wake up and see a billboard, "last gas for 40 miles or something".  I again ask her, she says it's cool.

You know the rest.  We get into a very hilly area with twists and turns and no cell coverage at all, and she notes that the gas light is on.  Fuck me.

Thirty minutes of sweating, internal rage, and praying, and we eventually made it to a gas station.

shit, I did the same thing a million years ago. Driving from San Diego to ABQ to visit the (ex) wife's cousin when she was in school at UNM.   Somewhere on I 40, got that 
"last gas in X miles" sign, had a half-tank (in the wife's Mazda GLC) so I thought nothing of it and powered on.  My asshole was totally puckered for the last 20 miles or so to that fuel stop.  That little car drank a ton of gas through those hills.  I ended up planting my bumper 15 feet off of some semi, and drafting to the fuel stop.  I was young, unfamiliar with the road, and not nearly careful enough.    

We made it to the gas stop OK, and I learned a lesson that night. 

[tbone_ 14020]

That’s what she does at work.  

I spent some time on this road. Then one day she came home and announced that she had retired. Not long after that I joined the other thread.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8799]

This reminds me of a family trip we took in 2021.  Driving to Utah and Grand Canyon with the kids on the 15 from CA.  Wife is driving current leg, and we've driven past Vegas into the desert.  I'm in the backseat behind her, hungover, and ask her how the gas situation is looking.  She says fine.  There's really no way for me to see myself, so I take her at her word and go back to half asleep. 
I sort of wake up and see a billboard, "last gas for 40 miles or something".  I again ask her, she says it's cool.
You know the rest.  We get into a very hilly area with twists and turns and no cell coverage at all, and she notes that the gas light is on.  Fuck me.
Thirty minutes of sweating, internal rage, and praying, and we eventually made it to a gas station.

Impressive

[Crapinon 2250]

21 hours ago, txhorns said:

Well fuckers you jinxed me and it finally happened.  Wife was in too much of a hurry this morning and didn’t wait for the garage door to fully raise up before backing out.  She hit the door and knocked it off it’s tracks.

Not my wife but when I was a teenager I came home drunk and drove through the garage door. My dad was not amused while I drunkenly explained why the garage door was in sections on the hood of my car. And I have no idea what I told him. 

[Native Horn 3484]

10 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

shit, I did the same thing a million years ago. Driving from San Diego to ABQ to visit the (ex) wife's cousin when she was in school at UNM.   Somewhere on I 40, got that 
"last gas in X miles" sign, had a half-tank (in the wife's Mazda GLC) so I thought nothing of it and powered on.  My asshole was totally puckered for the last 20 miles or so to that fuel stop.  That little car drank a ton of gas through those hills.  I ended up planting my bumper 15 feet off of some semi, and drafting to the fuel stop.  I was young, unfamiliar with the road, and not nearly careful enough.    

We made it to the gas stop OK, and I learned a lesson that night. 

Go on.....

[Brothahorn 10085]

Apparently her car ran out of gas mid week and she used the jeep for running kids around town. Then when Jeep was on E she filled hers up and not mine.

Wife does that shit. If I'm filling up on the weekend, I'll take hers and fill it up if needed.

[SHOOTER12 8787]

15 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

this is the wives and stupid shit they do thread.... not the "husbands and stupid shit they believe what their wives said" thread.   

you know that 30 mins of rage and sweating is on you. 

I wondered if they hadn't been married long and he didn't know any better yet?

[SHOOTER12 8787]

10 hours ago, Crapinon said:

Not my wife but when I was a teenager I came home drunk and drove through the garage door. My dad was not amused while I drunkenly explained why the garage door was in sections on the hood of my car. And I have no idea what I told him. 

Lol, wow did that bring back a memory.

When I was in high school, RockNRoll Shooter sang in a rock band for 2-3 years. Our lead guitarist dad had a great large temperature controlled building we rehearsed in. One night at practice during the winter I was fighting a sore throat and was nursing a few 7&7's to help me get through it. Of course as the night went on the drinks slowly became stronger and stronger until it was just sipping it straight. At the end of the night the guys loaded my PA system in the back of the truck for me. I went to take one last sip of the Seagrams and wholly shit, the 5th was empty. Fuck I didn't even feel really drunk. So I walked outside and the 27 degree air hit me and wholly shit the booze hit like a sledgehammer. It wasn’t far to the house thank God,  only about 2-3 miles but I was fading fast. I quickly grabbed my cologne out of the glove box and started putting it on while holding the bottle between my teeth. Hit a bad pothole and the truck bounced and I wound up with a big slug of Aqua Velva in my mouth. Next thing I know is my dad is standing by the drivers side window screaming at me. WTF? I Got out and realized I had pulled in our gravel driveway btoo fast and slid sideways coming to a stop about 8" from the house and garage.  "Dammit boy are you drunk"?  I tried to mumble some lame excuse/reasons of course made no sense.

His next statement.."have you been drinking Aqua Velva? every time you open your mouth your breath smells like a whorehouse".

Needless to, I got my ass kicked pretty good that night and didn't get any sleep due to puking all night. There was no getting out of school the next day and thought I was going to die for 3 days.

NCSB bro...

Edited January 13, 2023 by SHOOTER12

[Kennythetiger 9333]

Verbose, but amusing. It’ll do. 

[nnm 35991]

3 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Lol, wow did that bring back a memory.

When I was in high school, RockNRoll Shooter sang in a rock band for 2-3 years. Our lead guitarist dad had a great large temperature controlled building we rehearsed in. One night at practice during the winter I was fighting a sore throat and was nursing a few 7&7's to help me get through it. Of course as the night went on the drinks slowly became stronger and stronger until it was just sipping it straight. At the end of the night the guys loaded my PA system in the back of the truck for me. I went to take one last sip of the Seagrams and wholly shit, the 5th was empty. Fuck I didn't even feel really drunk. So I walked outside and the 27 degree air hit me and wholly shit the booze hit like a sledgehammer. It wasn’t far to the house thank God,  only about 2-3 miles but I was fading fast. I quickly grabbed my cologne out of the glove box and started putting it on while holding the bottle between my teeth. Hit a bad pothole and the truck bounced and I wound up with a big slug of Aqua Velva in my mouth. Next thing I know is my dad is standing by the drivers side window screaming at me. WTF? I Got out and realized I had pulled in our gravel driveway btoo fast and slid sideways coming to a stop about 8" from the house and garage.  "Dammit boy are you drunk"?  I tried to mumble some lame excuse/reasons of course made no sense.

His next statement.."have you been drinking Aqua Velva? every time you open your mouth your breath smells like a whorehouse".

Needless to, I got my ass kicked pretty good that night and didn't get any sleep due to puking all night. There was no getting out of school the next day and thought I was going to die for 3 days.

NCSB bro...

My story isn't nearly as colorful, but after a high school night carousing in Santa Fe and other places in northern NM, one of my buddies puked his Bacardi guts out in the back seat footwell in my dad's car.  I cleaned it up as best I could, and then tried to mask the smell with whatever godawful cologne was in back then--I think it was Drakkar Noir.  

My dad dragged my sorry butt out of bed first thing in the morning as he was going to work, and my head was splitting.  I don't remember much that he said (given my state), but I remember him cursing several times about his car smelling like a French whorehouse. 

Which is funny now that I think about it because he was from Abilene and had never been to France.  

[Brew 3044]

Dropped a buddy off at his house one night completely toasted. I watched him go up the steps and left. The next morning I get a call from his dad raising hell. Apparently, he couldn’t get in the house and got in his mom’s car and proceeded to puke all over the front seats, floor board, etc. His dad still will not speak to me. The rest of our buddies still find it quite funny.

On the garage stories, if my daughter marries a Texas fan that finds his way to this site eventually the stories will be able to continue. She has hit both mirrors and bounced the drivers side front off the garage entrance wall not once but twice. It is a small garage entrance, but she drives an Escape. The plastic front ends on those things don’t hold up well to low speed impacts. We were waiting to get the first hit fixed when she managed to do it again. We’re just going to leave it at this point until she rearends someone while sending Snapchats and then we can get it all fixed at once. 

[nnm 35991]

 

[Clintonaldo 2570]

On 1/13/2023 at 8:16 PM, Brew said:

Dropped a buddy off at his house one night completely toasted. I watched him go up the steps and left. The next morning I get a call from his dad raising hell. Apparently, he couldn’t get in the house and got in his mom’s car and proceeded to puke all over the front seats, floor board, etc. His dad still will not speak to me. The rest of our buddies still find it quite funny.

On the garage stories, if my daughter marries a Texas fan that finds his way to this site eventually the stories will be able to continue. She has hit both mirrors and bounced the drivers side front off the garage entrance wall not once but twice. It is a small garage entrance, but she drives an Escape. The plastic front ends on those things don’t hold up well to low speed impacts. We were waiting to get the first hit fixed when she managed to do it again. We’re just going to leave it at this point until she rearends someone while sending Snapchats and then we can get it all fixed at once. 

Speaking of being shit faced Del Griffith and I watched a UFC fight or something at a friend’s house and Del got good and toasted and went missing. I eventually find him and we drive 2 miles to my house and he is outside waiting on the Uber completely shit housed and starts puking and then lies on his back staring at the sky like he is watching an eclipse. The Uber driver pulls up and is concerned and says “ it’s $300 if he pukes in my car” and as I slam the door I say “ he can afford it”. The next morning as we are leaving I see a flock of birds eating his French onion dip vomit and wanted to barf. 

[Gil Bang 25865]

13 hours ago, nnm said:

 

Kick her ass to the curb. 

 

[rage-a-holic 4300]

On 1/14/2023 at 7:48 AM, nnm said:

 

That's Matt Berry reading an old love letter from 1968. He didn't write it and that's not his wife.

 

Edited January 15, 2023 by rage-a-holic

[Armybrat 40678]

Well, who cares? 
It could be the same for 90% of the Surly crowd.

[rage-a-holic 4300]

19 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Well, who cares? 
It could be the same for 90% of the Surly crowd.

Maybe for you. 90% of shaggy wives are still using excuses from 1968? Go listen to the whole video. She has a much longer list of excuses, including "it will make the cat jealous".

[Bevo&Pevo 5021]

On 1/9/2023 at 11:33 AM, Ojo Rojo said:

My oldest son and the neighbor kid have ongoing Nerf battles with some of the other kids in our neighborhood. They went over to one kid's house and saw his Nerf guns in the open garage.  They thought it would be a good prank to take the guns and hide them around the corner outside of the garage and then do an attack.  It would be a bloodbath where the other kids were scrambling to find their guns while getting Nerf blasted.  Pretty good idea, if you ask me.

Anyway, my wife got a text later that afternoon that said something along the lines of, "Tell your children never to go into my garage and take my children's things again."  No name, no backstory, no nothing.  We called my son in to question him about it.  What happened?  How did the parent get mom's phone number?  He told us the story and fully admitted to going into the garage. He said that the kids' dad came outside and reamed them out and asked for his mother's phone number, which he gave him. My son is naive and doesn't know that it's not cool to go into people's garages without them knowing about it.  So we talked to him about it and I think he got the message.

Meanwhile, my wife is pissed off at this other parent and she starts an angry text back to them.  I see this and tell her, "Please don't do that.  Let me handle it."  We had a short argument about it.  I explained that even if our kid wasn't malicious, he did do something objectively wrong.  I agreed the other parent didn't handle it well, but whatever.  We can't control if other people want to be assholes. She insists on responding. While she's typing she's muttering that the kids from the other house are at our house all the time and in our garage, etc. I just told her, "I know you are going to fuck this up and create enemies unnecessarily."  So now she's pissed off at me.

She finishes her angry text and I ask her what she wrote.  She says, "Hi, my name is Mrs. Ojo Rojo and my son's name is Ojo Rojo, Jr.  I got your text and I am really sorry that our son went into your garage.  We have talked to him and it won't happen again."  I'm thinking, "Okay, that's pretty much what I would have said."  She then continues, "And please tell your children to never come over to our house and play in our playhouse ever again."  I just looked at her incredulously.  "I knew it! Why did you write that? There was no reason to do that! I am so angry with you because you did that!"  A few minutes later she says, "I didn't really write the part about them not coming over the playhouse again."  What!? Then why the fuck would you tell me that!? You knew that would piss me off.  Did you do it just to piss me off?  Her response, "Well isn't that what you wanted to hear?"  What?  Which part?  That you told the neighbors off like a bitch or that you really didn't?  Are you really just trying to make me mad or are you just dumb?  Now we are in a huge fight and I won't get laid until the end of the month.

Gather every kid in the 'hood and go TP the shit outta of 'em.  For that matter, don't forget to plastic forks and knives for the yard.  Give 'em a war.   BTW, their dad is hiding something in the garage and don't want anyone accidently finding it.  IMO.

[Longboard Horn 40069]

On 1/8/2023 at 11:59 AM, Brothahorn said:

Is this your son? If so tell him to lay off the butter.

 

Love the enthusiasm! He take his job and craft seriously. IDGAF he can make my popcorn any day. 

[Ojo Rojo 1882]

20 hours ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Gather every kid in the 'hood and go TP the shit outta of 'em.  For that matter, don't forget to plastic forks and knives for the yard.  Give 'em a war.   BTW, their dad is hiding something in the garage and don't want anyone accidently finding it.  IMO.

Plastic knives and forks for the yard?

[nnm 35991]

8 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Plastic knives and forks for the yard?

[txindep 142]

Nephew played HS basketball, my sister (his mom) was typically the loudest fan at any game. He hated it. His team played TX School for the Deaf, as a favor to him, I told her that to be fair to both teams, the refs were also hearing impaired. I attended the game, she didn’t yell once. Otw home, she commented how nice the ref gesture was. Nephew only then told her that the refs weren’t deaf, I just told her that so she wouldn’t yell. He still laughs about it & thanks me to this day.

[Ojo Rojo 1882]

On 1/13/2023 at 7:16 PM, Brew said:

Dropped a buddy off at his house one night completely toasted. I watched him go up the steps and left. The next morning I get a call from his dad raising hell. Apparently, he couldn’t get in the house and got in his mom’s car and proceeded to puke all over the front seats, floor board, etc. His dad still will not speak to me. The rest of our buddies still find it quite funny.

On the garage stories, if my daughter marries a Texas fan that finds his way to this site eventually the stories will be able to continue. She has hit both mirrors and bounced the drivers side front off the garage entrance wall not once but twice. It is a small garage entrance, but she drives an Escape. The plastic front ends on those things don’t hold up well to low speed impacts. We were waiting to get the first hit fixed when she managed to do it again. We’re just going to leave it at this point until she rearends someone while sending Snapchats and then we can get it all fixed at once. 

LOL.  Something similar happened to me.  Buddy and I attended a party together.  He lived across the street from me and I gave him a ride home. We were both pretty drunk. I went inside my house and went to bed.  I assumed my buddy walked across the street to his house.  Turns out, he was on my back porch trying to get in my house. Apparently he banged on the door quite a bit before sitting in a chair by the door and falling asleep.  It was pretty cold that night and he had on a jacket of mine that he borrowed. Sometime in the middle of the night he woke up and walked home. He told me the story the next afternoon when he walked over to return my jacket, which he had puked on during the night.

8 minutes ago, nnm said:

Huh.  Never knew that was a thing.  Seems like a lot of work.

[Js1 85056]

9 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Huh.  Never knew that was a thing.  Seems like a lot of work.

Absolutely bitch to clean up. Source: was forked. Easier to stick them in the ground than remove them, bc sometimes they break off when you try to clean it up

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

On 1/15/2023 at 2:03 PM, Bevo&Pevo said:

Gather every kid in the 'hood and go TP the shit outta of 'em.  For that matter, don't forget to plastic forks and knives for the yard.  Give 'em a war.   BTW, their dad is hiding something in the garage and don't want anyone accidently finding it.  IMO.

Spread 20 lbs of pinto beans in his yard. He will love it when they all sprout.

[SilasCoade 2620]

10 hours ago, nnm said:

Li'l dude can't sneak in and out of an open garage with a couple Nerf guns without getting caught and you think he can execute what is a minimum 45 minute prank in the front yard?